A/n: I Started to write this just after the Clone Wars Series finale and got the inspiration to finish it shortly after the Kenobi finale. So there will be references to both in this work. I hope you enjoy!
Anakin paced through the halls of the Jedi temple, his mind reeling with the information he had just discovered and how he had a decision to make.
An important decision that not only affected the Republic and the war but himself and most importantly, Padmé
His stomach churned at the thought of what might become of her.
He couldn't lose her but how could he save her?
And what of the betrayal he now faced by someone he had trusted?
His heart raced, his blood pumping hard and fast through his veins.
He knew what he was meant to do and his feet were taking him there to do it, the Force was guiding him but something stirring deep inside, hot and building with every second, was telling him not to.
"Anakin!"
Anakin froze at the familiar voice that he knew was supposed to be several systems away.
He slowly turned around to find his former Padawan standing there, her chest heaving in determination, her eyes wide and frantic.
His brow furrowed together as he stepped in toward her. "Ahsoka? What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be on Mandalore?"
She shook her head and advanced toward him quickly. She stopped close to him and looked up at him intently.
"We captured Maul. Rex and Bo Katan are going to handle handing him over. I had more urgent matters to attend to."
His eyes narrowed inquisitively. "Here on Coruscant?"
She nodded, her eyes never leaving his. "Yes, urgent matters I need to discuss with you. Can we talk somewhere privately?"
His eyes widened slightly, and he looked over his shoulder toward where he knew he should be going. The Jedi council should know that the presence of the very Sith Lord they have been searching for was right under their noses.
Stay.
A strong but soft voice spoke to him and his feet felt glued to the ground. He slowly looked back at Ahsoka who was looking up at him insistently. He could sense the tension in the air between them.
They had not gotten the proper chance to talk before and for whatever reason, she wanted to talk now. His previous worries were momentarily pushed to the side and he focused on Ahsoka.
"Yes but I can't speak for long."
Ahsoka's shoulders visibly relaxed and she nodded. "I only ask that you listen to what I have to say. It's important, Anakin."
He nodded with a frown and then gently placed a hand on her arm and led them to a secluded room just down the hall.
"What's wrong Ahsoka?" He asked, turning to her once they were safely alone.
His fears were now directed to his friend who seemed worried and kept looking at him as if she were waiting for something to happen.
She sighed and pressed her lips together as she approached him slowly. "Obi-Wan told me what the Jedi have you doing."
Anakin's jaw tensed and his fingers twitched at his sides. "Spying on the Chancellor you mean."
"Yes." She breathed. "I know you don't agree with it and I'm not convinced it's the right thing to do either but, Anakin," she sighed again, her deep blue eyes imploring him, "I'm worried for you…"
His heart lurched up into his throat and he swallowed thickly, crossing his arms. "Worried about me? Why?"
"Maul said he had a vision about you."
Anakin narrowed his eyes but said nothing. He knew all about Force visions and how they came true and though he did not trust Maul, he certainly trusted Ahsoka.
"That is why he attacked Mandalore. He didn't expect the Jedi to send me, he wanted you and Obi-Wan. Anakin, he wanted to draw you there and kill you."
"Kill me?" His heart lurched again but he almost laughed. Maul? Kill him? "For what reason?"
"He believes…" Ahsoka trailed off and he eyed her inquistively. It was not often his former padawan was hesitant to speak her mind but whatever Maul said to her clearly had her troubled. "He believes that you will become Darth Sidious' new apprentice."
Anakin's body tensed as his mind shot back to the information he had only just discovered. The conversation flooded his memory and he once again felt that heavy pit in his stomach.
"So I came here to warn you to watch your back because Sidious is out there, Anakin and if he wants you…" Ahsoka trailed off again and Anakin frowned at her deeply.
Ahsoka may have been aware of Sidious but she clearly had no idea how close he was to Sidious and how much Sidious had been involved in his life.
Another flood of rage and fear pulsed through him and he clenched his jaw so hard his teeth hurt.
"We need to discover where Sidious is..." Ahsoka started urgently.
"I know who he is." Anakin cut her off, his voice low and even, betraying the raging emotions swelling inside of him and Ahsoka froze, her eyes widening, her jaw slackening.
"What?" She whispered and stared at him as she processed the information. Then she straightened up in attention and stepped toward him with purpose. "You do? How? Where is he?"
"He's here, on Coruscant." He knew he probably should have told the Jedi before telling Ahsoka but Obi-Wan was not there and Ahsoka knew more than anyone else at the moment and he certainly trusted her more than he trusted anyone else. "He told me himself."
Ahsoka's breath caught and she took a faltering step back in shock. "He's here?" She breathed in terror and then a look of fierce determination crossed her features.
"You were right." Anakin continued, lowering his arms to his sides and he took a few steps forward, finally breaking eye contact with her as he walked around her to look out the window over Coruscant. "I did not agree with the council's decision to have me spy on the Chancellor but as it happens it may have been for the best." He paused and then turned back around. "Chancellor Palpatine is Darth Sidious."
"What?" Ahsoka whispered. "The Chancellor?" Her mouth hung open for a few seconds and then her eyes flashed in rage as she shook her head.
"We have to go stop him!" She walked forward toward him. "We have to tell someone and have him arrested!"
The conflict that had been warring inside of him came rising back to the surface. He started quivering as he thought of Padmé and his visions and what Sidious had told him, of powers that only the dark side held, powers that would save Padmé.
"Anakin…" Ahsoka eyed him warily, feeling the sudden shift in the air around them and the look on his face. "Please tell me that Maul's vision isn't true."
His eyes lifted to meet hers and he could feel the anger and fear burning behind his eyes as hot tears and Ahsoka gasped softly.
"Anakin...please…" she walked toward him slowly and she reached out for him. "This isn't you."
"He has power Ahsoka, power that I need." His voice shook with every word, his hysteria growing and her eyes widened.
"Power?" She scoffed incredulously. "Anakin, you're the strongest Force User I have ever known. What power could he have that you need that badly to...to turn away from everything you are!"
His chin tilted down, he looked up at her over his eyelids, through blurred vision but said nothing.
Her face softened in deep concern, her eyes pleading. "Whatever it is, you can tell me."
His lips twitched in a small snarl, the secrets he held inside of him for years banging to come out and he held them in desperately. "You wouldn't understand. You can't understand!"
"You don't know that if you won't tell me!" She raised her voice in desperation.
He pressed his lips together firmly, his body shaking and he once again turned away from her, his fists curling. He could see her watching him out of the corner of his eye, watching him with a patience, understanding and care that he wasn't sure how to deal with.
No one, except Padmé had ever asked him to confide in them.
But the more he stayed silent the more he felt it bubbling up inside of him until he could no longer hold it in.
"I have to save her!" His voice broke in desperation.
Ahsoka blinked in quiet surprise. "Save who?"
Anakin shut his mouth again, clenching his jaw. He knew he shouldn't have said it but he needed to say it and what else could he say? Could he give up his and Padmé's secret?
The only other person who knew was Sidious, he realized with another sudden stab of betrayal, of hurt and rage. Palpatine had always been there telling him what he always had wanted to hear that the Jedi never would.
Ahsoka stood before him now, offering the same support, without the betrayal.
"Anakin…" She continued to approach him and didn't stop until she was beside him and placed her hand on his arm.
"Tell me. I can help you. Whoever is in trouble we can make it right."
His jaw quivered with the intense emotions he was trying to hold back.
"She's going to die." He finally confessed and Ahsoka frowned. "Just like my mother. I saw it in my visions. I can't let that happen." He growled out the last words and Ahsoka moved to stand in front of him. She gripped tight onto his arms, forcing his attention on her.
She held his gaze, her face stern and focused. "Tell me who."
"I can't." He whispered and looked away from her again though he longed to tell the one person beside Padmé who felt like family and who wouldn't reprimand him for his feelings.
"You can't?" Ahsoka's face screwed up and then slowly slackened as realization swept over her. "Is it because you're a Jedi? Anakin, you may be but I am not and I will keep your secrets. You can trust me."
He looked back at her slowly. His heart was hammering in his chest.
She was right about one thing, and her words had confirmed any last doubts he was holding onto. She was no longer a Jedi and she never gave him a reason not to trust her. If anything it was he who let her down and still she came back, and there she stood in front of him, begging him to let her help.
He tightened his jaw, sucked in a breath and nodded. "It's Padmé." Saying it aloud to someone else released a certain weight off his chest. The weight of the secret he held for three years.
Ahsoka's eyes widened slowly. "Padmé?" She whispered but as soon as he said it, it all made sense and the barest hint of a smile tugged at her lips. "You were always soft on her."
Anakin breathed out a scoff and rolled his eyes slightly and for a moment Ahsoka's eyes twinkled up at him in faint amusement but then her face dropped seriously, her brow furrowing in concern.
Padmé was not only his wife, but her friend. Of course she cared.
"Did someone threaten her? She's a senator, and a highly valued one at that! We can protect her, the Jedi can…"
"No one has threatened her." Anakin answered sharply and Ahsoka shut her mouth slowly, eyeing him inquisitively.
He swallowed thickly, his chest tightening as he admitted his other secret, "She's pregnant."
Ahsoka's eyes widened and he continued, "And she's going to die in childbirth. I can't stop it." Tears once again burned at his eyes no matter how hard he fought them back. "Ahsoka I can't but Palpatine, he told me of a way...a way to manipulate the Force to save a life to...to stop death!"
"Stop death?" Ahsoka repeated incredulously. "Anakin that….that's not right, it's not natural."
"He said people would think that way." He answered, his voice hard and suddenly cold and her nostrils flared, her eyes flashing as she once again gripped tightly at his arms and he looked at her in surprise.
"And you're going to listen to him? A sith lord? The one who has been manipulating this entire war? Who has killed in the name of this war? Who has manipulated you?"
"The Dark Side of the Force is something the Jedi are too afraid to explore!" He countered and she stared at him, her eyes hard with a glare.
"With good reason, Anakin." She tried to explain calmly and he scoffed.
"Look what it has done to Count Dooku, to Maul! You can't listen to him, Anakin! Can't you see what he's trying to do? He doesn't care about saving Padmé or your child. All he wants is you, to exploit you, to exploit your power, because you are powerful Anakin but there are certain things you just can't do."
Through his near blinding rage he knew deep down that she spoke the truth and the truth only cut deeper. Palpatine had always encouraged his power, his talent, but for what gain?
"I don't know how else to save her, Ahsoka." His voice dropped from hysterical to a desperate whisper.
Ahsoka frowned and rubbed her hand along his arm up towards his shoulder.
"Is Padmé sick? Has she been to the medcenter? Do you know what is wrong with her?"
He swallowed thickly and he shook his head slowly. "She's not sick, not right now. She says that she is perfectly fine."
"Then why are you so worried?"
"I had a vision, Ahsoka." He repeated a little impatiently.
"Visions aren't always true…" She tried to argue.
"Mine are!" He cut her off roughly and she winced. He was silent for a long few seconds and then released a hard sigh. "I had a vision that my mother was dying and the Jedi...the Jedi told me to ignore it, to ignore her, but I couldn't and when I found her…" He grit his teeth together and his body shook in rage at the memory.
Ahsoka's face softened into a frown. "I'm so sorry about your mother, Anakin…" she said, her voice soft in care.
"It was the Jedi who kept you from going to your mother when you sensed that she was in trouble."
Anakin's eyes narrowed slightly as Ahsoka worked through the facts and her thoughts.
"Do you believe if you had been there earlier you could have saved her?" Ahsoka wondered.
"I know I could have." He answered vehemently. "If I had been able to act on my vision as soon as I saw it I knew I could have stopped those animals from harming her."
Ahsoka's eyes lit up in dawning realization. "Anakin, you can see the potential future, not the certain future. There may be some version out there where Padmé dies but if you take the right steps to prevent it…"
"That's what I'm trying to do." He ground out in frustration.
She gave him a scathing look. "Turning to the Dark side of the Force is not the answer and I know deep down you know that. I also know you must be desperate to even consider reaching such conclusions for help. Anakin," She squeezed his shoulders and looked into his eyes, "Darth Sidious is not the only one who can help you."
He let out a huff, his eyes narrowing slightly as he fought back the hot sting of tears that threatened the back of his eyes.
Ahsoka only held steady, her grip on his arm tight but supportive.
"Padmé wouldn't want you to resort to these methods, Anakin and I know you don't want to either."
"What do you know about what I want?" He hissed and almost instantly regretted it, though he didn't say it.
He was angry and panicked that the only way he could see to save Padmé was being taken away. She was trying to take it away.
Only she wasn't. And he knew that. Ahsoka just wanted to help. His clever young Padawan had a way of seeing things in a way far more rational than his own mind these days.
She stared at him, lifting her chin confidently. "Because I know you, Anakin. The experiences we shared over the last few years…you're so much more than just my old master. You're like family to me. You're my brother."
She took a deep breath and took another step closer to him. "And I'm sorry that I left the way I did but I'm here to help you because I believe in you and I know you're better than turning to the dark side. I know you have the capability to find another way. Let's turn in the Chancellor, save the Republic and save Padmé. Let's do it together, Anakin, like we always have."
She offered him a small encouraging smile, her eyes imploring him. He held her gaze for a long moment and then swallowed thickly before looking away and closing his eyes.
"I don't know what to do." He admitted, allowing himself to be vulnerable in front of her.
Ahsoka took a deep breath and was silent for a few moments and then spoke confidently. "The first thing is to turn in the Chancellor. Inform the Jedi of his treason and then you and I, we'll figure something out." She squeezed his arm and he looked back at her.
Fear still pulsed through him, trying to gnaw away at every rational thought but with Ahsoka standing in front of him, her sense of morality stronger than ever, he believed, maybe, there was another way.
"Anakin, I promise."
"Anakin don't!"
The sound of his heart racing in his ears and Sidious' maniacal laughter was the only thing he heard.
There was a sudden crackle in the air and just as bolts of lightning erupted from Sidious' fingertips, Anakin leapt and blocked the stream that was headed towards Mace with his lightsaber.
Sidious let out a loud groan as the lightning hit the lightsaber and returned to him, striking him in the chest.
Anakin gritted his teeth and ground his feet to the floor. He swiped Mace's lightsaber out of his hand and used both lightsabers and all the power of the Force he could muster and pushed it back towards Sidious.
Over the roar of the lightsaber blades he heard Sidious' screams of agony. He was blinded by light, by rage and by the full raw power of the Force that flooded through and around him.
He wasn't sure how long he stood that way, those deafening sounds in his ears, his muscles straining, his blood pounding, but eventually he finally heard a distant voice.
"SKYWALKER!"
Then suddenly he felt a strong hand on his shoulder and he was slammed back to reality.
The lightning had stopped and he simply stood there with crossed lightsabers, his arm and legs straining.
Lying where Sidious had once been was nothing but a pile of charred ashes against an equally as scorched wall.
"You have done it." It was Mace Windu's voice behind him, his hand on his shoulder. "It's over."
His chest heaved, his body trembled as he stared at the remains of the former Chancellor of the Republic.
His grip slowly slackened on the lightsabers and they rolled out of his hands, clattering to the ground at his feet.
He took a stumbling step backwards and was immediately met with Mace Windu's arms, reaching out to hold him up.
He reacted quickly, winced away from the touch and stumbled, still trembling, away from the body of the Chancellor.
He felt sick to his stomach and collapsed to his knees.
It hadn't felt like it did with the Tusken Raiders, where he was so overcome with rage it blinded him and he felt no remorse for taking the lives of those who had killed his mother.
It felt more like when the Chancellor had ordered him to kill Dooku in cold blood, and he had done it. He knew he wasn't supposed to do it but something had compelled him to do it.
However, killing the Chancellor was on another level entirely. He wasn't the people who had murdered his mother or a former Jedi and a Separatist. He was the Chancellor of the Republic, a man Anakin had looked up to for so long, a man who had sworn to help him, a man who had lied.
"What have I done?" He muttered under his breath.
If there was a response from Mace or any of the other Jedi in the room he didn't hear one.
Out of the corner of his eye he could see Master Windu disappear behind him and there was a cacophony of noise but it all sounded blurred.
He continued to stare at the charred remains, breathing deeply, harshly, trying to quell the twisting of his stomach.
His chance to wield enough power to save Padmé was gone and he had extinguished it.
After some time, he felt a few hands grabbing at him but he felt bolted to the ground, unable to look away from what he had done.
"He won't be moved."
He then felt a warm hand gentle on his back and a familiar presence kneel beside him.
"Anakin… "
A gentle voice called through the haze and he blinked, slowly, a few times and then faster and slowly turned his head.
He was met with the concerned eyes of Obi-Wan Kenobi.
"I killed him." Anakin said, his voice void of emotion.
Obi-Wan pressed his lips together and moved his hand to Anakin's shoulder, squeezing gently. "I know."
Obi-Wan's eyes flickered over to where the Chancellor's remains were but then looked quickly back at Anakin. He moved to kneel in front of him, blocking his view.
"You did the right thing, Anakin."
"Did I?" He wondered if he had. Doubt still plagued him and he looked up at his master for wisdom and guidance.
"It had to be done." Obi-Wan assured him with a nod. "The Chancellor wouldn't have come quietly and would have done who knows how much damage. Without Darth Sidious or Count Dooku, the separatists have nowhere to stand." Obi-Wan squeezed his shoulder again. "The war is over."
His master's words felt empty, though there was relief in Obi-Wan's voice. It was the day the Jedi had been fighting for for so long, the last of the Sith was extinguished, and without Palpatine as the Chancellor the war could finally end.
Anakin felt no such relief.
"You did precisely what we have asked of you. You reported to the council your findings and in doing so have taken down the last Sith Lord."
And the last chance to save Padmé. Anakin's thoughts remained on her, as they always had.
"Come, Anakin." He felt Obi-Wan grab a tight hold of his arm. "Let us leave this place. We don't need to be here."
He allowed Obi-Wan to help him to his feet. He couldn't help but take another glance over to where Sidious' remains were, no matter how hard Obi-Wan tried to direct his attention away.
As soon as he left this room, it was truly over and he wasn't sure he was ready to face it.
Before he knew it he was led out of the room, Obi-Wan keeping his arm around him. Without even realizing it, he leaned against Obi-Wan for support and Obi-Wan glanced down at him, surprise and concern flickering over his features.
"We will need to inform the senate." Mace spoke diplomatically as he stepped up beside Obi-Wan and Obi-Wan nodded his head in agreement.
"We must handle this with the utmost care."
Anakin heard the words as the two Jedi Masters discussed the situation but Anakin only grew more numb by the second, the world seeming to fade in and out around him. His eyes focused on the floor, on every slow step he took forward, his mind drifting away from political discussions, and the outcome of murder of the Chancellor by his hands, and to Padmé.
All he wanted was to see Padmé.
"Anakin?" A familiar voice pulled him out of his head and he looked up, spotting Ahsoka standing just down the corridor. She glanced between all of the Jedi, eyes full of trepidation, before she finally settled on Anakin.
"It's over." He said quietly and only Ahsoka knew how deep that phrase truly ran.
Ahsoka's eyes widened for a moment and then softened in relief and concern. She walked over to his other side and slipped her arm through his.
"It's okay Master Kenobi, I've got him."
Obi-Wan raised an inquisitive eyebrow and she offered a small, reassuring smile.
"I'm sure you have matters of the Jedi Council to attend to?" She sent a pointed look at Mace and then looked back at Obiwan. "Now that Darth Sidious is dead."
"Yes…" His brow furrowed. "But Anakin…"
"I think Anakin deserves some time alone to process what has happened before facing anyone. Don't you?" Ahsoka's voice was stern, her eyes imploring him, showing the hidden words she wouldn't say.
Obi-Wan frowned at them. He knew there was something they were hiding from him. He glanced at Anakin and the look on his face only solidified that thought.
Anakin had killed before and it never seemed to affect him, at least not in this way. This time was different and he had a feeling it wasn't just because it was the Chancellor.
Anakin lifted his eyes to him and Obi-Wan at once saw the little boy on Tattoine who just left his mother, and his young Padawan always looking to him for guidance, for reassurance.
Whatever Anakin didn't want to tell him - though Obi-Wan was almost certain it had something to do with the heavily pregnant senator - he would leave him to it. He had forced Anakin into this situation with the Chancellor and the least he deserved was a little bit of peace.
He nodded and placed his hand on Anakin's shoulder, squeezing lightly. "Of course. Take whatever time you need, Anakin. You know where to find me."
Anakin nodded quietly and then watched as Obi-Wan disappeared down the corridor with Mace, the other Jedi following suit.
Ahsoka kept a tight grip on him, waking slowly until they were the only ones left.
Then finally she turned to him.
"Ahsoka…" He began, his voice quiet and she stopped him by placing a hand on his chest and shaking her head.
"You don't have to say anything. I found Padmé and we have secured a discreet location for you to see her."
Anything he wanted to say to Ahsoka suddenly left his mind and his body tensed and straightened up, determined to get to his wife.
"Anakin."
Padmé's voice was sweet relief to his ears and moments later he felt her warmth against him as she threw her arms around his neck.
He circled his arms around her waist as he drew her close, feeling the gentle curve of her belly against his forearm.
He let out a shuddering breath, closing his eyes as Padmé's fingers threaded through his hair bringing him closer to her.
"Oh, Ani…" she whispered against his ear, voice soft and sweet and comforting. His arms tightened around her and felt himself almost at the breaking point. His body trembled against hers and Padmé continued to whisper soothing words, her hands working like magic against his hair.
He couldn't make them out, the noise in his head was too loud. Even there in Padmé's arms, all he could hear were the final screams of Sidious as his own lightning burned him alive.
"Padmé." His voice broke as he finally spoke her name and the fear and the anger and everything he felt finally released in wet, hot tears, rolling down his cheeks.
She pulled back to look at him, capturing his face in her hands, wiping away the tears with her thumbs.
"What happened?" Her voice was quiet but urgent, determined, the woman he loved so fiercely.
His vision blurred momentarily from the tears and his stomach churned violently.
"I killed him, Padmé." He said, his voice sounding hollow even to his own ears and Padmé's eyes widened slightly in alarm but her gaze quickly shifted, softened to concern.
"The Chancellor?"
His jaw tightened and he nodded. She let out a breath and again wiped his cheeks.
"Ahsoka told me everything." Padmé said, her hand once more drifting to his hair, running her fingers gently through it.
It was then Anakin was reminded of his former Padawan's presence and he glanced over Padmé's shoulders.
His chest tightened in momentary panic that someone had witnessed his and Padmé's open affections and his grip tightened on Padmé's hips.
Ahsoka stood by the doorway, her eyes focused on the ground until she felt his eyes upon her. Then she looked up and met his eyes.
He saw no judgment in her eyes but compassion, understanding and love.
She nodded to him, the corners of her mouth twitching and she said nothing but she didn't need to, her stance spoke for her.
I've got you. I'll protect you.
He wished he could find the words to thank her.
Padmé drew his attention back to her. "He was evil, Anakin. You don't have to feel guilty for taking his life." Her thumb caressed his cheek softly, comforting him, just as she had done on the Lars farm after he slaughtered the Tuskens.
His jaw trembled beneath her touch. How could he tell her his guilt wasn't about the murder in of itself but rather he mourned the opportunity he might have had?
"You should tell her, Anakin." Ahsoka's voice was quiet but encouraging and for a moment his gaze flickered back to her. Padmé may not have known the whole truth but Ahsoka did.
He narrowed his eyes, the fear so well known to him growing inside his chest.
"Tell me what?" Padmé wondered and Anakin shook his head.
"She knows already." He said sharply, dismissively.
"Everything?" Ahsoka prompted, crossing her arms and tilting her head.
His lips twitched and he cursed Ashoka for knowing him so well.
Yes, he had confided in Padmé about his nightmare but he hadn't told her what he had been planning to do with Palpatine. Or rather, what Palpatine had been planning to do with him.
Horror and disgust filled him and he suddenly recoiled away from Padmé, slithering out of her hold. Her brow furrowed in concern as her hand fell to his arm and gave a comforting squeeze.
She glanced between Ahsoka and her husband. Ahsoka shook her head, gazing meaningfully at Anakin.
"Ani…" Padmé moved in closer to him and her loving nickname for him triggered something in him. Tears welled in his eyes and he scrunched up his nose as a tremor of fear rolled through him.
"Please talk to me." Padmé coaxed gently, tugging the fabric of his cloak.
He slowly turned back to her and placed a shaky hand on her cheek, his eyes focusing intently on hers and her breath hitched at the intensity in his eyes.
"You mean everything to me."
Her brow creased as his thumb ran in continuous, anxious circles across her cheek and she lifted her hand to cover his.
"I can't let you die."
Her eyes widened slightly but her face softened in understanding and vague concern, her other hand covering her stomach.
"Your nightmare?"
He nodded, clenching his jaw.
She let out a slow, controlled breath, trying to ground both herself and him.
"I am concerned as well but I don't understand how that has anything to do with the Chancellor."
He closed his eyes tightly and bowed his head until Padmé's gentle, encouraging touch gave him the courage to speak.
"He said he was going to teach me a way to use the Force to save your life." He spoke slowly and her eyes widened and she shook her head.
"You were going to listen to a Sith Lord?" She whispered and the horror in her voice was enough to rear his guilt back to flame within him.
"Padmé…"
Her eyes flashed in panic and rage and confusion and he hated being the one to put that look on her face.
"What did he offer you?" She asked sharply. "Surely he was not going to do this out of the kindness of his heart."
"No." He countered quietly, Padmé's rage actually soothing his own. He and Padmé didn't always see eye to eye but he always knew that Padmé had the best of intentions, she was the one who was good at heart, and if she was angry, then that anger was justified.
"He wanted me to become his apprentice."
Padmé gasped and she quickly scanned her husband's face and he knew what she was looking for. A sign that he had fallen away, that he had given in to his fear and anger.
"And you were going to?" Her voice cracked with emotion, fear, betrayal pooling in her eyes and Anakin's head bowed, his face scrunching up.
"I saw no other choice, Padmé…" He admitted ruefully. "To save your life, to save our child…"
Padmé shook her head again, slowly at first then furiously as she processed all the implications. She stepped forward and grabbed his face in her hands forcing their eyes to meet
"There is always a choice, Anakin and turning to darkness is not the answer to this."
"I know." He spoke with conviction and as he stood there with her, listening to her words, hearing the fear in her voice, knowing what he could have done and what he saved himself from doing, he finally felt relief. Relief that he had done the right thing, relief that whatever would happen, he had chosen to do good. "That is why I killed him."
Padmé blinked rapidly, her chest heaving as she stared at him. He looked back up at her, eyes full of pain and fear but also resolve.
"Anakin…" She gasped in relief and her eyes closed as she fell forward against him, pressing her forehead to his, tangling her fingers in his hair.
His eyes closed and his arms once again surrounded her, holding her to him like his very lifeline.
"I was tempted, Padmé." He whispered against her ear and her grip on him tightened. "But I knew I couldn't…"
She shushed him quietly. "You did the right thing, Anakin. You saved us all."
He swallowed over the sudden lump in his throat. Even though he accepted that killing Palpatine, turning away from the darkness was the right decision, he still felt that overwhelming fear for Padmé's life.
"I saved everyone but you."
She lifted her head. "You don't know that. We don't know what the future holds for me."
"My dream…" he tried to pathetically argue, because the image of Padmé crying out in pain wouldn't leave his mind no matter how hard he tried.
The logical side of him remembered what Ahsoka had told him earlier, that his dreams were not an indication of a permanent future, just a possible one, and he did have the ability to change it.
He had believed for so long that harnessing the dark side of the Force, finding that power, was his way of changing it. He knew now he was wrong, but he still felt completely and utterly helpless, sitting with the fear that she may die.
"I can't even imagine where your head is right now and how you must be feeling but, Anakin, right now, I'm alright. We are alright."
Their bodies were as close as they could be with Padmé's pregnant belly between them. He felt the roundness that protected their child pressing against his own abdomen. She took his hands in her own and placed them on either side of her belly. "We're safe." She guided his hand over and across to rest on the very top, the spot she had been learning from their brief moments together while she was pregnant, was his favorite place to rest his hand.
Then suddenly there was a tiny but firm movement from within, pressing right against Anakin's palm and they both gasped.
Ahsoka lifted her head, eyeing them in concern.
But a smile spread across Padmé's face as she glanced down between them. She had been feeling movement from their child for quite some time and Anakin had felt it himself just a few days ago, in one of the only nights alone they had had together since the reveal of her pregnancy.
They had spent the evening reveling in joy, discussing their future, and their baby as they felt the little life move within her.
However, this felt different than any other time. This little kick was hard and pronounced, their little youngling making themselves known.
"You see?" She said softly, reassuringly, "Just fine."
He let out a shuddering breath and closed his eyes and reached out in the Force.
Where he once had been surrounded by that pull of darkness, all that was left was the familiar light.
He stayed there, focusing on that feeling and began to feel the little fledging of another shift in the Force. It was very faint but it was present and he knew it was coming from the life that grew inside Padmé.
A beacon of light, of hope, in the being he and Padmé had formed from their love.
His eyes flickered open when he felt Padmé's hand against his cheek, her thumb brushing across the corner of his mouth where he hadn't even realized had turned up in a small smile.
He met Padmés eyes and allowed himself to get lost within the sweet, compassionate, loving gaze of his wife.
"This is our chance." She spoke hopefully, her eyes conveying every bit of emotion she was feeling, hoping, begging for. "To start new, to do what we talked about and leave this place and be a family." Her smile widened again and she glanced down briefly as another resounding kick from within her seemed to confirm her words. She looked back up at him, holding his gaze.
"I don't know how, yet, but I know we're going to be alright."
He let out a long, hard breath and drew her once again into his arms. He wished he could share the same unyielding confidence his wife had but for the first time since his nightmare, the fear wasn't so crushing. For the first time, he did have hope.
"I promise, Anakin."
The Force was powerful, and force users spent many years studying, learning, meditating, trying to understand how it all was meant to be.
It was only when he finally let the Force guide him, instead of trying to demand of the Force what he thought was best, that Anakin truly began to finally understand the true power of the Force.
After the defeat of Palpatine by his own hands, after the birth of his two beautiful children by his strong and wonderful wife, after Padmé not only survived but had a flawless delivery; after he sat down with Obi-Wan and told him everything, after Obi-Wan gave him that knowing smile and confessed he knew his not so well kept secret. After he forgot about the desire for power Palpatine had been sewing into him and focused only on the love, joy and acceptance he received from his family.
That is when he felt the true nature of the Force. That is when he accepted his designation as the "Chosen One", and that it didn't mean being a Jedi Master, or bring in control of the Force, it meant simply that he had been the one Palpatine chose to be his apprentice and it meant he was the only one who could stop him and bring back the balance.
There was peace. Amongst the Jedi and the republic, amongst the galaxy and most importantly, within him. Finally, there was peace.
All of those years training under Obi-Wan, years he looks back now on and appreciated, but it was the years afterwards when he finally learned to just be.
The Force was his comfort, it was part of him, and he often took some time to sit and meditate and when he did he could lose his worries as he lost himself to the Force itself.
It was a low continuous hum that finally broke his focus and he opened his eyes to find a red and white Toy Droid hovering just in front of him.
He smiled and held out a hand, and the droid landed onto his open palm.
"Well hello. What are you doing out here? Where is your owner, hm?"
The droid chirped and he chuckled softly and then looked over his shoulder.
"Lola!" A sweet but forceful young voice cut through the peaceful air.
Moments later, his daughter appeared atop the hill, dressed in white and green play clothes. A smile split across her face once she saw him and she raised her hand and waved.
He waved back with a smile of his own and chuckled as she raced down the hill toward him.
She was only a little out of breath as she plopped herself down beside him and then grinned up at him.
"Do you have your droid spying on me?" He teased as he lowered his hands towards Leia.
Lola chirped and flew out of his hand and into Leia's.
"Lola found you." Leia corrected, stroking her finger affectionately across the droid.
"Found me?" He raised his brow with a smirk. "I didn't realize I was missing."
Leia playfully rolled her eyes. "You are always hiding in any number of places."
He chuckled softly and gestured around at the open space. "I wasn't hiding."
Leia nodded "Clearly. But Mom said to come find you and I thought Lola would be able to do it much faster than I could."
She smiled in appreciation and adoration of her little droid as it settled down onto her lap.
"Ah it was your mother's doing."
She looked up at him with pursed lips. "You were supposed to be back by now so we could all go on a picnic, remember?"
The picnic that his twins had been excited about and planning all week, the one they were preparing for as he left the house hours earlier.
He brought his hand to his forehead and shook his head. "You are right, Leia. I completely forgot."
Leia's brow pressed together, her head tilting in a way that reminded him so much of Padmé it melted his heart every time he saw it.
She inched closer to him and stared up at him with her intense brown eyes. Eyes that seemed to be able to look into his very soul. Sometimes he felt like his children could do that, especially Leia. He sensed them growing in the Force every day but just as they both had their own unique personalities, they also seemed to be more sensitive to certains ways of the Force. Leia, in particular, always seemed very intune to how people felt. It was almost impossible to lie to her face, and that certainly held him accountable.
"Are you alright, Dad? It's not like you to forget our picnics."
A soft smile crossed his lips and he reached out to tuck a small strand of hair behind her ear. "I'm fine, Leia. It's just…" his jaw tensed as he looked over the sparking lake that had been his home for the last eight years.
On this day years ago he had almost lost everything. He tried not to dwell on it often, and he hadn't even had a prophetic nightmare since that day, but every year, on this day, he felt a little more withdrawn, and though the dark side of the Force no longer tempted him, he always would remember the feel of when it did. He spent many hours meditating in the Force, solidifying his place in all of it, surrounding himself in the light.
He thanked the Force that Ahsoka was there on Coruscant, he thanked the Force for Padmé's love, he thanked the Force for the existence of his children and he thanked the Force with everything he was he had the strength to turn away from the pull of the dark side and the sense to see what Palpatine was really up to.
"Just what?" Leia prompted and his lips twitched as he turned back to her back. He knew she wouldn't give it up.
He wrapped an arm around her and she leaned against him.
He hadn't often spoken about that time and Luke and Leia knew in fact very little about what happened that day.
They knew, to some extent, because it was the day the clone wars had ended but he was always portrayed as the hero. The Jedi who defeated the evil chancellor Palpatine and saved the Galaxy.
Little did they know how much he struggled.
He took a deep breath in and let it out slowly before speaking. "The war wasn't an easy time for me. War isn't an easy time for anyone, but I spent a lot of time being angry and being afraid."
Leia scooted in closer and rested her hand on his thigh, looking up at him. "Afraid of the Chancellor?'
He felt his stomach drop at the innocent question from his daughter. To her, the chancellor was just a figure from the past, one who tried to create an evil empire and started the war. She didn't know how connected he had been to her father since childhood.
He pressed his lips together and stroked her back in slow patterns as he searched for the right words.
"Afraid of losing everything that was important to me." He answered finally and Leia's frown deepened as she turned her head.
"Your mom, you and Luke…I didn't want to lose you and that day, the day the war ended, I really thought I would."
Leia's brow creased and she slowly leaned in and wrapped her arms around his middle, her head resting on his chest and any negative feelings that memories of that time were beginning to bring up had melted away as he felt his daughter's warmth against him.
"We're here Daddy…" She whispered and the love that overtook him was indescribable. "We're safe now."
He closed his eyes and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. He held onto her for another minute and then looked down at her, bringing his hand to her cheek as she released him.
"I know, Leia." He smiled softly. "And you always will be. I promise."
Leia's lips twitched in a small smile but her features then turned thoughtful and he knew whatever was about to come out of her mouth was going to be more insightful than a normal nine-year old.
"I know there will be times we will sometimes be scared or in trouble…"
Anakin held back a small laugh. Leia and Luke certainly knew how to test him at every turn. He couldn't count the number of times they wandered off, or got into something potentially dangerous. A bit of a taste of his own medicine, he supposed. They were far too much like him and proved it all of the time.
"...and sometimes, we get hurt and you can't save us all of the time."
His smile began to fade and his stomach dropped. It was a lesson he was still learning, and he certainly didn't want to jump into the fire as soon as one of those dark thoughts, that fear that something bad would happen to his family, infiltrated his mind, but he still couldn't deny that small lingering feeling.
Ever the intuitive one, she laid her hand on his arm and looked up at him, eyes so convincing, just like her mother, he'd believe any word she said.
"I know you'll always be there, Dad, if we do get hurt. You'll be there to make everything better."
"I certainly will." He vowed and leaned forward with a smile and rested his forehead momentarily against hers. "I love you, Leia."
She let out a little giggle of delight and scrunched her face up, bumping her nose affectionately against his. "I love you too, Dad."
She pulled away as he did and though there was a smile on her face, it began to fade as her brow creased once again.
"You said that you were angry and afraid and now you're out here all by yourself…you're happy now, aren't you?"
He suddenly caught movement out of the corner of his eye and turned his head.
A mop of blonde hair and bright smiles appeared on top of the hill.
Padmé then walked up beside Luke, dressed in a beautiful blue flowing dress, her hair falling loose in waves over her shoulders.
Her hand fell upon Luke's shoulder and she met his eyes across the distance and smiled, beautiful, and radiant and his.
His angels, all of them, were his angels. They brought him peace he never thought he would be able to experience.
"Yes, Leia." He looked down at her with a smile, his eyes bright as he looked down at one of the loves of his life. "I am very happy now."