Conversations of the Heart: Letters Journal I

by True2LucEli

After Season 8 of WCTH I was contemplating Lucabeth and their future together. I began "hearing" Lucas in my head and one day I sat down and wrote a letter to Elizabeth, she wrote back and before the evening was up I had six letters. This is an ongoing collection that are bound into Journals. Journal I (Letters 1-42)

30. Letter 30 Lucas on the Sleigh Ride

LGB

Hope Valley

December 19, 1918

My sweet Elizabeth,

I want to thank you for joining me this morning for breakfast. It is a memory that I will hold dearly in the growing treasure trove of memories that I have gathered since meeting you. The pure joy of the beautiful day and the comradery on the ride both to and from our bridge were exhilarating. Breakfast was such a delight; Gustave always outdoes himself for us. And of course, that brings me to the mistletoe. I cannot help but remember the kiss we shared, at first so tender and sweet, both figuratively and literally as I could taste the chocolate on your lips. And then, I can feel you in my arms as we deepened the kiss, the silky feel of your hair against my hands, and the intoxicating smell of the light floral scent that it carries. But, mixed with my warm feelings, there is a lingering worry that I may have shocked you and embarrassed you and if so then I sincerely apologize. I have told you before, I want you to be completely comfortable and I realize that today I may have overstepped. I have to admit to being swept up in the wonder of our time together, your beauty, and my love for you. I intended to kiss you of course, mistletoe or not, but it was not my intention to turn the light mood we were enjoying into something uncomfortable for you. It seemed that you recovered quickly after a moment or two of awkwardness, and then responded to my efforts to lighten the mood afterward. In fact, I felt the depth of our comradery on our return trip home; you seemed happy and completely at ease. I take comfort in that.

But while I do apologize if I caused you discomfort, I don't want you to misinterpret my stopping when I did either. It wasn't from lack of desire, I was consumed by the overwhelming passion that I felt for you in that wonderful moment, but in spite of that, I have made myself a promise to make you happy and to keep you safe, and to always show you the unconditional love and respect you deserve. So, until we are married, I want to honor that promise, and to keep us from doing something for immediate pleasure that we would wish we had waited for in the long term. But know, that you never need to feel embarrassed by what either of us feel in the passionate moments between us. This is a real part of the connection that we share as soulmates; I long for the time when we will be truly one in all ways. But I am also willing to wait for this, just as I did to win your heart. But know that it is with great restraint that I do so.

With all my love and longings, I am yours,

Lucas