Chapter 6: The Will to Fight
To say she was disgusted with herself was an understatement. Yet again her body had betrayed her. It had given into his perverse advances and reacted to him in ways she knew that it shouldn't. Again, she had lost control, lost sense of her mortality. Katherine knew had to fight back, to resist these thoughts and perverse urges that were trying to overwhelm her anytime she was near him.
She managed to choke back a sob and uncurled her arms from her shivering legs onto the floor, then glanced down at her torn pants and the two white plastic cups that were crunched and torn into pieces. The moment she had woken from her slumber she began to be consumed by tears, anger and revulsion. She didn't know if it was really her own thoughts and sentiments that were making her feel this way or if it was all a dark, debauched plan of her father to imbed these dangerous and wicked ideals into her own mind. Was he influencing her behavior when she slept? Was he trying to change her mind into something as depraved as his?
She sniffled and grabbed a few tresses of her hair, tugging them lightly as she mentally berated herself to muster up any courage, she had left to resist what was happening to her.
Keep it together girl! Don't give in, you can't!
After a few moments Katherine's hand fell to her sides and she stooped down to lift her ripped pants and the plastic cups, "Come on Katherine. You can fight this" she nodded to herself. "You can do this, just pull yourself together. You can't let him control you that way"
As she had told him before she was wakened up, that would be the last time he fucked her. It was time to fight back.
Taking a deep breath, she exhaled slowly and quickly ran around to the small chest of drawers beside the bed and rummaged through the first drawer for fresh underwear, then some fresh clean clothes, along with shower gel. She had to wash away the feel of his hands and body from her skin again. She took a fleeting glance at the small clock on the wall facing the bed, the time reading 5.45am. Hopefully there wouldn't be any nurses about. The last thing she wanted was for them to inform Dr Sims she was awake at this time. For all she knew that would only entice Sims to sedate her during the night. That would only make her precarious situation even more dangerous. Despite promising that she would sleep again tonight, deep down she knew she would have to defy that compulsion to do so. Her sanity hung in the balance.
It was about twenty minutes later that she arrived back at the room, having luckily managed to evade any nurses. The wing was consumed in darkness, though in the distance she could barely hear the soft chatter of Max and one of the nurses as they conversed in a nearby corridor. Katherine quietly closed the door behind her and discarded her nightdress and shower essentials back into her grip bag, then shoved it under the bed. Her pants were now dumped in the bin, but she made sure to conceal them below the two crushed plastic cups and several pieces of tissues.
She untangled her damp hair from her white towel and roughly began to dry her hair. The sound of the door as it creaked open caught her attention and she swung around to face Max. "I thought I heard you, how long have you been awake?"
Katherine swallowed thickly, "Look please don't tell Sims. I've been awake for the last hour or so, from 5am. I couldn't sleep"
From the contemplative look on his face, she knew that he was conflicted. He had a job to do, rules to follow and she somehow knew that one of them was to inform the doctors of any patients not sleeping or their sleeping patterns. He took a step into the room and sighed, "Look, this will be the last time. But I can't promise that Nurse Andrews will keep quiet. We both saw you going into the shower area earlier"
"What? How?" Katherine gasped.
He gestured her out into the corridor and pointed up at the ceiling. She craned her back towards the middle of the grey concrete ceiling where there was a white circular piece of plastic attached to the ceiling, with a blackened-out glass encasing the camera. "There are four of them in each wing where the patients sleep. There are also others concealed in the canteen, the visiting rooms, therapy rooms and offices. They record no sound, but they do have night vision. Anyone on duty monitors the corridors during the night with these cameras. It's for the safety of the patients and staff"
Katherine cursed in dismay. "Shit. I'm sorry"
"It's okay" Max smiled, "Listen, I won't be able to get you anymore coffee. Sims says that if I disobey any more rules I may be put on report, and I really need his job"
She gave a curt nod, "I understand. I don't want to put your job at jeopardy. But I do appreciate what you've done for me tonight"
He took small step towards her, "Why are you awake at this time? Bad dreams?"
She gave a shrug of her shoulders, "Something like that"
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.
"Oh no, it's nothing that bad" she lied. "I'll be okay. Thanks"
"I'll be back down before I finish my shift. I'll escort you to the canteen for breakfast. You may find it difficult getting a seat on your own. We're nearly at full capacity with the new influx of patients"
Katherine gave a curt nod, "Okay, I guess I can cope with sitting beside someone for a little while. Though, are we allowed to eat in our rooms by any chance?"
Max shook his head, "I'm afraid not, hospital rules. Look, I'll be back at 8am to bring you to the canteen"
"Thanks. And I'm sorry again"
He smiled and left the room, closing the door to give her some privacy. Something that he knew that she liked. Katherine groaned out loud, thinking of her therapy session later her morning. She was certain that the nurse on duty tonight would say something to Sims and the Doctor would admonish her like she was a little child. Hopefully she wouldn't sedate her tonight.
X x x
Later that morning….11am
Katherine glared somberly out at the courtyard that was situated directly below the window of her room, there were a few patients lingering about either on one of the benches or aimlessly ambling about the yard. Lost in their own little worlds. It irked her being stuck inside this place for so long, she would do anything for even twenty minutes outside in the fresh air with the warm sun on her face. She would ask Dr Sims at her next therapy session. Her head craned over her shoulder as she heard her door creak and open, revealing the woman in question. Dr Sims.
"Katherine it's time for your session today"
The young woman nodded, "How long will the session be again?"
"Approximately 45 minutes" Sims gestured for her to follow. "Though I will only be at the session for 15 minutes"
Katherine threw her an inquisitive look as she walked by her side down the corridor to the therapy room, was someone else taking over the session. Could it be Sandra already? She had told her that she was hoping to counsel her. But had the decision been made so soon? Maybe the situation regarding the new patients coming into Westin Hills was worse than she initially believed it was. Despite the little heated talk, she had with Sandra yesterday about her displeasure and anger of what Sandra did by keeping her father death a secret from her, she somehow knew that the woman was trying to protect her. Perhaps she did have her best interests at heart by keeping it from her, especially as she was still going through months of recovery in respect of disclosing the sexual abuse at the hands of her father. Hopefully, she could try and clear the air, speak to her more about it once Sims was out of the room.
Sims slowed as she approached the therapy room and thanked the male orderly who was accompanying them both. "Thank you, Karl,"
Katherine held her breath as the door was opened and soon her brown eyes landed on Sandra Turner as she twisted in her seat to face her. "Hello Katherine"
She forced a smile and entered the room, taking up her seat facing Sandra and Dr Sims near the window. She clutched and tugged her blue cotton cardigan closer to her frame as a chill shot through her body. Soon the sense of shame engulfed her as she thought back to her dream, of giving into her father again, allowing him to fuck her. How could she tell Sandra that? She knew that she would ask if anything had been done to her in the dreams over the last few nights. Despite saying that nothing had happened, she knew that Sandra didn't believe her. Sandra would ask her again once Sims was out of the room. She was sure of it.
"Now" Sims softly cleared her throat, "Katherine as you know Dr Turner has offered her assistance regarding counselling you and helping you with your therapy while in Westin Hills. To be honest I was reluctant at first to allow it"
Katherine glanced between them both and noticed that Sandra seemed a little aggravated at this statement, her lips were pressed tightly together in silent rage, it appeared that maybe she wasn't a fan of Sims either. She turned back towards Sims as the older woman continued. "But after discussions with Dr Carver the head of the Hospital, and a few of the other doctors within the department, we have come to an arrangement"
Sandra leaned forward and added. "I can take your sessions, but I must convey all our sessions back to Dr Sims. She may on the odd occasion be at the start of our sessions. I also may be helping with the other patients when needed. But my main priority will be you, Katherine. I'm here to help you"
Katherine held her gaze, she knew exactly what the word help meant. In terms of helping her realize that her father was trying to dominate and usurp her again. Emotionally, psychologically and sexually. Sandra knew the signs, she had read and analyzed her case notes when she had counselled her when she was sixteen. Maybe this was a positive sign for her. A slow smile grew across her countenance as Katherine gave a swift nod in acceptance at Sandra, signaling that she understood what she was insinuating to.
Sandra gave a small knowing smile in return, then settled back in her seat and looked towards Sims as she began to speak again. "Now Katherine, as I've discussed with Dr Turner anything that you say to her, she must make a summary of the session and pass it onto me. She will ask you about your mood, ask about your eating and sleeping habits. She may ask about your dreams. You must be totally honest with her. If you don't then it will hinder your recovery"
Katherine pensively nodded, "How often will you see me?" the question was directed towards Sandra.
"At the moment once every two days. But I will be in the wing during the day if you ever want to come and see me, talk to me" Sandra replied, then looked at Dr Sims, "Would it be possible if Katherine is shown where my office is?"
"We don't normally allow patients to visit the therapists in their offices. But you are free to visit her in her room whenever you are not on duty or don't have any patients to attend to" Sims offered.
"Thank you"
Clearing her throat, Sims added. "Katherine as I have told you during our first session, if you become aggravated or violent, Dr Turner has been told to use the alarm button. It is for both your safety"
"I promise I won't do anything" Katherine shook her head quickly, "I don't want to be sedated"
"Well…" Dr Sims looked down at her clipboard at a small note. It was handed to her when she started her duties. "You really need to obey the rules. I have been informed by Nurse Casey that you were up this morning, around 5am. Is this correct?"
Katherine glanced briefly at Sandra, noticing the look of alarm on her face. "Um, yes that's true. I couldn't sleep"
Sims sighed, "I also had a quick word with Max on the phone before I went to escort you here, he told me that you had asked him to get you coffee last night? Two cups?"
"Don't be mad at him" Katherine begged and soon her lip curled into a pout. "I was just anxious about going to sleep last night" Again, she noticed that Sandra was staring intently at her. The look of concern was still etched onto her face. "It won't happen again"
"I sincerely hope not, because if you are staying awake at night then I would have to recommend nightly sedation"
"No please!" Katherine shook her head fervently.
Sandra coughed softly and interrupted, "Dr Sims it seems that Katherine is rather nervous about the prospect of sleep. It may be related to her dreams" her gaze flicked over to Katherine, seeing the young woman's hands were trembling. "Is there no way that we could get these dreams stopped? Any medication?"
Dr Sims turned in her seat towards her, "If it is the drug Hypnocil that you are referring to then that drug is still in the early experimental stage from what I am aware. And Dr Carver would not allow that type of experimental drug to be used in this facility. People need to sleep, to dream"
Katherine grew interested, what was this Hypnocil? She had never heard of this type of drug before; she would have to ask Sandra when Sims was out of the room. Her attention was soon caught again as she heard Sims continue. "Dreams are a normal part of our psyche, our mind. If we stop people from dreaming it would only damage their psychological well-being, such as memory loss. You need to sleep, to dream to help improve your mental health"
The older doctor was looking directly at her, trying to reassure her that it was in her benefit to sleep, to dream. Katherine shivered involuntary, if only this woman knew the terror and depravity that lurked every time, she closed her eyes. "But I can't…he'll be there"
"You mean your father?" Dr Sims asked.
Katherine nodded curtly and her lips quivered violently, "I know you think I'm nuts. But he's there" she ran her hands shakily through her brown locks, "Every time I close my eyes, he's there waiting for me!"
Sims sighed and said, "As I have suggested to Dr Turner and have mentioned to you, you appear to be suffering from Schizophrenia and due to this condition, you are creating these dreams in your sleep of your father"
"I'm not" Katherine insisted, and her voice rose slightly in anger, "He's real. He's alive in my dreams, in all our dreams. You must believe me!"
Sandra reached over and gently took her left hand in hers and gave it a soft squeeze in reassurance. "It's okay Katherine" her voice was soft, as she enticed her to remain calm. The last thing she needed was for her to become hysterical. Sims would only sedate her and place her in that 'quiet room' for the rest of the day.
Katherine locked eyes with her and realized that she needed to compose herself. She took a long deep breath and exhaled slowly, then repeated it a few more times, "I'm sorry if I raised my voice. I just need you to understand. I'm not making this up"
Sims gave a small nod, "A theory that I have in regard to your 'dreams' is that as you have stated to me, you feel a sense of loneliness, of seclusion of being separated from your father over the years. Due to this you are conjuring up his memory, in your dreams. But it has developed into a psychological disorder as you have this belief that these dreams of your father are real"
"You believe that her separation from her father is the cause of these dreams, of her condition?" Sandra noted this down, "But why would she not have these beliefs back in Central City? She never once dreamt of him when she was living there"
"Perhaps being back in her hometown has caused her condition to come to the surface. As you know Dr Turner, some psychological disorders do not manifest in people until they are in their late teens or early adult years" Sims explained, "And Katherine is at that age where it can start to display in her behavioral traits"
Looking down at her lap, Katherine felt utterly demoralized. This woman would never believe her. It was apparent now. She had to rely on Sandra to get her out of his precarious situation, there must be a way she could get out of this place. She swallowed thickly and saw that her hands were beginning to quiver violently. "Um" she muttered huskily, "Is there any chance that I could get some valium? Please?"
Sandra noticed her shaking hands and looked hopefully over to Sims, "Katherine had been prescribed them in Central City at the Care Home and since she was put into foster care with Mrs Burroughs. Her notes are in her file. It had helped her in certain social situations such as going back to school, attending social events. I believe being in here has caused her anxiety to become more heightened than it normally is"
Katherine sniffled and meekly wiped away a few of her tears. "Please. I just need two. Just for today"
Sims noticed the uneasiness that spread across her shuddering face. "Yes, I'll get one of the nurses to bring you to the medical room. We need to clean your wounds too. In time I will have to prescribe you other medications as your therapy progresses"
"What other drugs would they be?" Sandra demanded.
"Haloperidol or fluphenazine"
Sandra thew a distraught look over at the young girl, "Those are drugs to treat Schizophrenia"
"That is right" Sims nodded and then glimpsed at her watch. "I have to go, I have a meeting soon with Dr Carver" she looked over at Katherine, "I hope you take my words on board Katherine. No more trying to stay awake at night. You must sleep"
Her hands apprehensively grabbed the rim of her cardigan as Katherine gave a muted half-hearted nod. Hoping this would suffice as a response. She looked up quickly as Sims gathered her notes and clipboard, ready to leave the room. "I'll be expecting a summary of your first two sessions in a few days' time. If you have any questions, you know where my office is" Sims spoke directly to Sandra who gave a tight-lipped smile.
Once the door closed behind Sims, Sandra began to mutter under her breath in disbelief. "Stupid woman. God damn it"
Katherine gave a bitter laugh through her sobs, "Now you know what I'm up against in here…." Her voce began to quaver as her lip pouted slightly, "I can't stay here Sandra. I can't!"
Standing to her feet, Sandra pulled her chair over beside Katherine and took both her hands in hers, "Katherine sweetheart, I will do everything I can to get you out of here. But it's not in my hands, I'm not in charge here. Sims is" she gently pushed the young woman's hair from her face, "I'm sorry for not telling you about your father when you were in Central City. But I had my reasons"
Taking a deep breath, she nodded and replied, "I know now. I had time to think about it. You were protecting me. Imagine if I did find out, I would have run back here to Springwood at the first opportunity, and then I would have really been fucked. He would have entered my dreams years ago and God knows what would have become of me!"
Sandra nodded grimly, "I meant what I said earlier, I am here to help you. But you must tell me the truth Katherine, tell me what has been happening in your dreams since you've been here"
Katherine chewed her lips and withdrew her hands from Sandra's, then wistfully ran them both her hair a few times. Should she confide in her? Sandra wanted to help her of course and she needed her support now more than ever. But to reveal those sordid details of her father pleasuring her, fucking her? How would she react?
"Katherine please, talk to me" Sandra whispered.
Her eyes wavered from Sandra's then to the floor, then sporadically about the room. Leaning back in her chair, Katherine tried to breathe in slowly, but felt a tightness in her chest. A tension. She licked her lips and then again clutched the bottom of her cardigan, taking up old childhood habit as it scrunched and twisted in her hands. "I-I…"
"Has he hurt you? Has he hit you?" Sandra asked softly.
She swallowed hard, not responding and tipped her head back. Her eyes glared somberly at the ceiling as she tried to regulate her breathing.
Lowering her voice, Sandra leaned forward slightly and then asked, "Has he done anything to you? Has he touched you?"
Katherine then lowered her head, as her mouth parted and she took a sharp intake of breath, then felt her heart pound against her chest frantically and she wheezed suddenly. Her head fell forward as she gasped for breath. Fresh tears began to trickle down her face and her breathing became irregular as a panic attack took hold. The dreams from the last few nights played through her mind, causing her panic to increase in severity. It was though she could feel his coarse hands on her breasts, thighs, his fingers gliding into her and the sensation of him thrusting inside of her as he claimed her once more. She stifled back a sob and shook her head quickly. "N-no…"
Suddenly she panted and gasped as her breath caught in her throat, it was as though her throat was constricted. Like a hand was closing around her jugular. The room began to spin, as Sandra's face began to blur as though she was going to faint.
Sandra grabbed her hands tightly. "Katherine, just breathe with me. Listen to the sound of my breathing, nice deep, slow breaths. In and out" She raised her left hand and gently clutched the girl's chin to steady her trembling face. Those brown eyes of hers were glazed with tears, wide and terrified. It was like looking at her when she was a little girl all those years ago. That bastard was turning her back into a child, the confused and traumatized little girl that he had abused and controlled.
That fucker had to be stopped before Katherine was lost to his dominance.
"Easy…." Sandra murmured quietly. "Listen to my breathing" she lightly pressed Katherine's hand against her chest and slowly inhaled, then exhaled. "Breathe with me. Nice slow, deep breaths"
Katherine focused her eyes on her hand that was pressed against Sandra's white shirt, directly above her chest. It raised up and down in a slow steady motion. Concentrating her mind, she directed her attention on the Sandra's chest and ever so slowly she began to get her own breathing in time with Sandra's. Then after a few minutes, the feeling of dizziness and tightness in her chest began to dissipate and after a few long deep calming breaths she had managed to overcome her panic attack.
Sandra slowly loosened her grip on her hand, then gave it one last squeeze. "That's good. I'll get you some water"
Katherine felt a whoosh of air escape from her, and she clenched, then unclenched her hands few times and shakily took a small plastic cup of water from Sandra, "Thank you"
Settling back into seat Sandra cleared her throat. "I'm sorry for pressuring you to talk. But you need to speak about it"
"I'm just afraid…" Katherine muttered then took a long gulp of her water. "It's been so hard for me in here, being on my own. The reason why I'm sleeping so much is because I'm lonely. I know that when I sleep, he's there and I can go to him. It's like a part of me wants to be in his company. It's like I crave being around him"
"It's like you were a little girl again? I have read your therapy notes from Dr Murray. I have them here with me. Even the pictures you drew when you were eleven and twelve years old" she looked down at her briefcase, with Katherine following her gaze. "I have all your notes from your sessions, and I have my own from two years ago"
She gave a sheepish nod.
"You had a such a strong companionship with him as a little girl. I know this" Sandra started. "But Katherine you know that he had you under his control, he manipulated you from the very second you saw him murdering your mother"
Katherine grimly nodded and listened as she continued.
"I want you to be honest with me. Do you want to be controlled by him again?"
"No, I don't" Katherine snarled softly, eyes gleaming with fortitude. If there was one thing that she wanted in her life, it was her independence. Freedom. "I really don't"
"Then you have to listen to me!" Sandra tucked the hair away from the girl's flushed face, "Stop listening to what he is telling you, you have worked so hard over the last several years. Ever since you were eleven years old when you first told Dr Murray about everything that fucker put you through. The manipulation, coercion and the lies he told you. If you don't start to fight back, everything you have fought for, your self-reliance, your courage, the life you had made back in Central City. The relationship you have with my son will be lost! Your father will have won! You can't let him do that to you!"
Nodding silently, Katherine sniffled. "I know, I understand. But you should see my father now. He's so twisted and cruel in the way he behaves around me. But he keeps saying all the right words to me. To get me to lower my guard. Before he molested me the first time, the nights he spent with me when I was dreaming, he was being so gentle. He was conjuring up all these happy memories we had when he was alive. All the good times we had together. Oh god, I was starting to trust him again!"
"Then he abused your trust? Cuffed you to that bed in the boiler room?"
"Yes. I found that book he had of me. Fuck, it was disgusting. it was filled with these photos of me when I was sleeping, when he had undressed me. He was touching me when I was sleeping" Katherine gritted her teeth in silent rage, fighting back her sobs, "I was such a fool for falling for it. It was my fault!"
"It's not your fault, don't you dare think that!" Sandra hissed. She would have to find out more about that book from her another time. Michael briefly revealed it to her when she arrived back in Springwood. But she wanted more information. Though now was not the time. Taking a deep breath, she persisted, "He's the one to blame. He tricked you. Just like he has been tricking you since you were five years old!"
Taking another deep breath Katherine leaned back in her seat and sighed jadedly, "You know he keeps saying that he loves me"
"He's twisting your mind by saying that. You do understand that?" Sandra stated firmly, "You remember from our sessions he would say to you that he was 'loving' you, by touching you? It's just like that, he is distorting your frame of mind. So, you can allow yourself to lower your guard and your defenses against him"
"But he did love me when I was a little girl" Katherine mumbled despondently. "A part of me wants to believe him that he still does now!"
"Sweetheart, it's all lies! He doesn't care for you! If he did, he wouldn't have killed your mother, made you keep those secrets. Made you isolate from your friends, along with everything else he did to you. He emotionally and psychologically abused you"
"But I can't stop thinking that he does love me and I…" her voice began to falter.
"You love him" Sandra finished for her.
She nodded and gave a laugh of disbelief, "I know that I shouldn't, after everything he has put me through. But I can't help feeling this way! I know it's fucked up. Maybe I am fucked up"
"You're not. You just need to comprehend that he is trying to turn you into that submissive girl again by saying those words to you. Everyone wants to feel loved, to hear someone say they love them. But his love for you is dark. It's wicked and perverted. You just need to realize that again"
Katherine slowly averted her gaze towards Sandra, staring into her bright blue eyes. A sense of recognition sparked in her eyes. Sandra was right. The exploitation was starting again. It had to stop, she had to resist and fight back. As for his love for her, she always knew it was unhealthy – she even told him that. She didn't deserve that type of heinous, depraved love, she desired and was worthy of a love that was normal, sensual and full of kindness and devotion. The love that Michael had for her. "I know. Just please help me. If you can, get me out of here" she paused, thinking back to what Sims had mentioned about that drug. "What is hypnocil? Are you able to get it?"
"It can only be administered and ordered by the governors of the hospital. Dr Carver is only the Head Manager of the hospital" Sandra grumbled. "It's an experimental drug that prohibits part of the temporal lobe, the hippocampus that regulates and causes us to dream. In theory, when you take hypnocil it stops you from dreaming. But it's only in the early stages of development. I doubt that I can get any, and Dr Sims certainly wouldn't allow you to take it, even if it could be used here"
Nodding once, Katherine knew that it was a lost cause. "Damn it" she moaned, "Would you be able to bring me to the medical room? I'd like some Valium. Just to help me remain calm this afternoon. My anxiety has been troubling me the last few days"
"Yes of course" Sandra offered a smile, "You will try and stay awake tonight?"
She nodded mutely, "I'll try my best. But I would need coffee, some caffeine. It's hard enough without it. Sometimes I feel drowsy, even during the day"
"Mmm" Sandra mused. "I'm just hoping that you don't or haven't developed narcolepsy"
"Narcolepsy?"
"It's a condition that causes you feel drowsy during the day, falling asleep without warning. It can be at any time" she replied and saw the look of trepidation that flashed across Katherine's face. "But just keep alert Katherine. Keep moving, don't settle in your seat or bed for any length of time. Try and drink any caffeine drinks from the vending machine. I'll try and get you some cans whenever I can. But keep them a secret from Dr Sims"
The young woman nodded fervently. "Oh, I will"
"Good" Sandra gave a small smile, "I'll bring you down to the medical room. I'll stay with you while you are getting your wounds cleaned"
Katherine anxiously followed her out of the room and asked, "Have you seen my scars on my back? Did Dr Sims show you the photos?"
"No, she hasn't"
"They're horrible" Katherine muttered sadly, and they walked side by side down towards the medical room. They corridor was hectic, doctors and nurses passing them by. Patients were being accompanied by various orderlies to their rooms, downstairs to the courtyard or canteen. It was busier and more chaotic than a few days ago.
Reaching over with her free hand, Sandra gently rubbed the girl's shoulder. "It's okay"
"Would I be able to go outside for a while? After my lunch?" she glanced outside the window to her right as the warm, hazy sun shone through the windowpane. "I would like some fresh air. Please"
"Of course, I'll get one of the orderlies to bring you out when we are done here. Are you not hungry?"
"Not really, I know I am meant to be going to the canteen soon. But I'll just get some fruit" Katherine stated, "I just would like to go outside. Even for twenty minutes"
Sandra nodded and they slowed their pace as they neared the treatment room and entered. Inside they were greeted by the nurse on duty, a blond-haired girl aged in their mid-twenties. There seemed to be another patient in the room, concealed behind a set of pale blue curtains that had encircled a bed at the far end of the room. There was hushed voices behind the fabric. She looked up from the counter and smiled genially at them, "Hello, I'm Samantha. You're Dr Turner, yes?"
Sandra returned her smile and nodded. "Yes, I'm bringing Katherine to get her wounds checked and cleaned. Also, Katherine has asked for some valium. I have discussed this with Dr Sims. It's just two tablets" her gaze diverted to Katherine for a moment. "She has been suffering from bad anxiety. It will help soothe her apprehension"
The nurse gave a small nod, then walked over to the cabinets above the counter. She silently rummaged through the shelves until she grabbed a small white bottle that had a small yellow label. In small black print it stated 'Vailum – Diazepam, 2mg'. She unscrewed the top and shook out two small white tablets. "I would you to sign a consent form. It's just to confirm that the medication has been authorized to the patient by a qualified Doctor. It's just standard procedure"
"I totally understand" Sandra nodded and advanced towards a small water dispenser in the corner of the room, where she quickly filled a cup of water. Once Sandra was back at her side, Katherine climbed up onto the bed near the door, and appreciatively took the water and tablets off her. She briskly waked back to the counter where a small slip with Katherine's details – name, date of birth, today's date and time was noted down. She wrote neatly in the space below the specifics of the drugs that was given to Katherine. She then scribbled down her signature and then handed the paper to the nurse.
Turning away she approached the bed and gave the young woman who sat there a comforting smile. Sandra heard the nurse approach to hand over a plastic bag of gauze pads, white gloves and anti-septic cream. "If you need me, let me know"
"Thanks" Sandra reached up and pulled the curtain around the bed, the metal rings scrapping along the railing as she did so. Her attention fell to Katherine as she sluggishly began to discard her cardigan and then pull up her plain white t-shirt. Her blue eyes furrowed in dismay at the sight of the scars and welts on the girl's back. They covered most of her back; red horrid lines marred her flesh stretching from the bottom of her spine upwards to the area just below her shoulders. Her breath hitched in her throat as Sandra seethed through her teeth, "That bastard"
Katherine sniveled and twisted around to face her, "I'll take off my bra. So, you can treat my wounds"
Watching in grim silence Sandra took a step back as Katherine unclasped her white bra and let it fall to the bed. She pulled on the white surgical gloves and grabbed a few gauze pads and pried open the cream. Dousing a few squirts of the ointment on the pad, she then gently applied it to the tender flesh, gliding slowly over each scar.
Katherine hissed and bit down hard on her lip as the gauze slowly went over each welt and scar one by one.
"I'm sorry. This shouldn't take long" Sandra murmured, "Michael mentioned to me that your father beat you. But I never knew it was to this extent"
The young woman sniffled and sighed gloomily, recalling that horrific event in her tormented mind. "He used the buckle of his belt. He hit me, kicked me. Punched me. He used the back of his glove as he slapped me and punched me. I don't know how many times he used the belt on me. I lost consciousness" her lip pouted sadly, "All because I told him how I felt about Michael. That I was in love with him"
Sandra shook her head. Enraged. "He did all of this" she looked grimly at her blemished back and then at the girl's bruised, cut face. "Because you are in love with my son?"
"Yeah" she nodded. "I had a few broken ribs too"
"But Michael said they were healed?" Sandra deliberated for a moment, "How were they healed?"
"My father" Katherine explained, "He has these powers in the dream. It wasn't the first time he healed me. I had a sprained ankle and a cut on my calf a few weeks ago. He healed them both. If he cuts me or gives any injuries in the dream, then if he wishes he can heal them too"
"So, you didn't ask him to heal you?"
She shook her head. "No"
"You know that by him healing you, it's another deliberate way of him getting you to trust him"
"Yes, I know" Katherine shuddered, "There is one more thing" her gaze fell to her left thigh. "He bit me"
"What?" Sandra's jaw dropped in horror. She looked down as Katherine rose to her feet and unbuttoned her jeans and shoved them down, revealing a two-inch bite mark just at the top of her left thigh. "Was this…?"
Katherine nodded dejectedly, "Before he performed oral on me"
A horrified silence fell between them as Sandra absorbed this information. "I am so sorry that you had to go through that Katherine. What he did to you was contemptable. We need to stop him"
Before she could respond there was sharp knock at the door and the shuffle of feet as the nurse went to the door. There was a short conversation and then the curtain was pulled back as the nurse poked her head between the fabric, "I'm sorry to interrupt Dr Turner, but you are needed by Dr Carver"
"I'll be there in a few minutes. We are just finishing up here" Sandra replied.
The nurse nodded and then disappeared behind the curtain, leaving Sandra to help Katherine get dressed. "Remember what I said Katherine" Sandra reminded her. "Don't be afraid of him. That is what makes him have the power and control over you. You know you are more courageous than you will ever know. Fight back. Stay awake"
Pursing her lips together tightly, Katherine nodded once in agreement. This little pep talk was what she needed. It was giving her the strength. The vigor and will to fight.
x x x
It was nearly ten minutes later when Katherine was finally guided downstairs to the corridor that led to the courtyard where the patients could congregate and sit. She had tied her hair back in a loose ponytail, and inside her cardigan pocket was a small red apple that she had brought with her from the canteen. There was a set of double doors in the middle of the corridor, where two male orderlies stood on watch. Their pensive gaze was upon the courtyard beyond them. It was a modest size, perhaps forty to fifty feet in length. The width of the yard was about thirty feet. The ground was mainly made of large grey paving stones. About ten benches were dotted around the edge of the yard, near the walls that were made of white pebbles. Dotted at the far right were two large oak trees and a small picnic table.
As she entered the doorway Katherine felt a smile grace her face as she titled her head back. The warmth of the sun was so soothing. Taking a deep breath, she surveyed the yard and saw a few vibrant flower beds placed against the walls, encased in dark grey cinder blocks. She heard the male orderly behind her clear this throat, drawing her attention.
"Is this your first time in the courtyard?" he asked.
She turned to face him. He looked only a few years older than her, "Yeah"
His steely gaze went from her to the other patients in the yard. "Most of the time the patients are well-behaved outside"
Her brown eyes veered towards the patients, there was about 15 of them. Most of them were women. They mindlessly wandered about the yard, humming or muttering to themselves. While a few of them were sat on the benches. Their faces were pale, ashen. Vacant. Lifeless eyes stared into the distance. It appeared that some of them were drugged to leave them in a catatonic state. She noticed Mary at the far bench. The young woman seemed agitated and was meekly pulling at her clothes.
"It's probably best if you avoid everyone, seeing as it's your first time. They can suddenly change their behavior and can cause problems" the orderly commented.
Katherine gave a curt nod, "That's fine by me. I just wanted some fresh air anyway"
He nodded once and watched as she ventured out into the yard, passing by the patients as they ambled by her. Katherine observed them quietly and with vigilance as she strolled past them. The odd patient would glare in her direction then ramble to themselves and turn away from her. She locked her gaze on a free bench in the middle of the yard, and she strode towards it and settled in her seat. Her eyes glanced up to the bright blue sky, and she smiled brightly. The warm rays of the sun felt comforting on her skin. Her right hand reached into her pocket of her cardigan and pulled out a red juicy apple. Rolling it in her hands she lazily regarded the yard once more, before allowing her head to lull back slightly as she leaned back against the wooden bench. A light breeze fluttered through the yard, and she let her brown eyes close. The valium tablets were beginning to take effect. A sense of calmness overpowered her. After a few seconds she pried her eyes open and pulled her gaze back to the garden. Again, the other people gathering in the yard were paying her little or no attention. Lost in the depths of their own disturbed minds.
Slowly, she raised the apple to her lips and her teeth dug into the middle of the fruit and she broke off a piece. Her jaw began to chew leisurely until she felt something strange. There was a rubbery feel to the apple, it felt squishy. Her eyes glimpsed down to her hand that held the apple and her eyes broadened in shock. In the middle of the apple were a clutter of worms and maggots, wriggling over each other. Her gag reflexes took hold as she dropped the apple and doubled over, gagging and coughing. She groaned and she spat out the food, seeing the remains of the worms and maggots she had been chewing on moments before. A terrified squeal tore from her throat, and she spat once more, then hooked her fingers into her mouth to claw out the crunched, chewed up maggots. Her lips trembled as she wiped at her mouth with the back of her hand and she lifted her horrified face up towards the yard, finally seeing that the patients had stopped moving. They stood motionless, like statues. Trickles of blood poured from the corner of their devoid eyes.
Katherine felt a surge of dread engulf her as she rose to her feet. What was going on? She looked over towards the entrance to the yard and noticed that the orderlies were no longer there. A frown crossed her face, and she took a few steps forward, glancing around once more. Her gaze fell towards Mary who was exactly like the rest of the patients. Staring blankly ahead with streams of blood coursing from her eyes.
Out of the corner of her right eye, she finally noticed them. Their giggles and soft voices soon filled the air. It was the children, his children.
His victims from when he was alive.
She whipped her head towards them, seeing the girls in their pristine white dresses and the boys in their black suits. They eagerly and excitedly ran about the area near the picnic table, playing tag and while three of the little girls broke away to participate in a game of jump rope.
Katherine felt her heart pounded thunderously against her chest and she wildly looked about, "Shit" She took a cautious step back and then jerked in fright as she felt his coarse left hand and sharp bladed glove curl around her arms as he crept up behind her. His fingers and blades wrapped around her arms, and he lowered his hot, rough lips to her left ear. "Enjoying your little nap?"
Her body went taut as she stared grimly head, Not answering him.
Freddy's lips curled into a grin against her ear. Gradually, he tightened his grip on her arms and pulled her back towards his chest. She grounded her teeth and she attempted to yank herself out of his clutch. But he growled in displeasure and forcefully hauled her back against his chest once more. "No, you don't. Stay still" he scolded.
She winced softly and soon her body grew still as his fingers dug into her arm brusquely. Soon, his blades coiled more firmly around her right arm, the edge of the metal blade began to pluck a few strands of fabric. Her gaze glimpsed between the children as they played.
Freddy gave a conceited smirk against her hair, "Good girl. Now" he sneered softly, "I don't want you listening to that bitch Dr Turner. You see, she's trying to poison your mind, baby girl"
Her head craned to the left and she glared at him, "What do you mean by that?"
His face contorted into rage, "Your little talk earlier. That stupid fucking therapy session you had with her. I had a little listen to your conversation when you started to dream. I know what that whore asked you to do"
She snarled softly and looked away, "I really wish that you would stop invading my memories!"
Lowering his face towards her, he rebuked. "I'm making sure you aren't keeping anything from me!"
Katherine clenched her hands in ire. "I've told you everything"
Freddy lips brushed against her left cheek. "Oh, really?" his left hand whipped down to grasp her wrist and brought it up to study the flesh around the bottom of her hand where it connected to her arm. His burnt fingers ran across her scars lightly. "What about this? Mmm?"
She looked down at her left wrist and at her lacerations. "You know that I tried to kill myself!"
"I'm not talking about them scars, princess" Freddy hissed furiously, "I mean…." His thumb lightly stroked over an old scar, that she had created long ago. It was about an inch or so below her wrist. Two inches in length. "This little beauty mark"
Her head swung around to glare at him, "If you are so curious, then why don't you have a look at that memory! You seem to be making a habit of it!"
His lips curled into a cunning grin. "If you say so, sweetheart!"
She was caught off guard as his left hand clamped against the side of her temple and a sharp pain shot through her, nearly making her double over as he ravaged her mind, her memories. Going back through the years until he found the one, he was searching for.
Flashback/memory
Katherine's tear streamed face lifted towards the mirror facing her and with a small sob she walked towards it and with the back of her elbow smashed it to pieces. Shards of broken glass shattered to the ground, and she bent down to pick up a long thin piece. The tip was pointed, sharp. Holding it in her right hand she grimaced in anger. If no one wanted her, what was the point of it all? What was the point of being here? Maybe it was for the best if she was gone, no one would miss her, would they?
She brought the tip of the glass to her flesh, perhaps one or two inches above her wrist and cut into her skin. A pool of blood began to seep from her torn flesh. Then with a hiss she dragged it down, closer to her veins and arteries.
"Katherine DON'T!"
Her head snapped to the doorway as Dr Murray rushed in, "No one wants me. You don't want me!" her eyes fell back to the task at hand, and she saw that her movements had stilled. She just couldn't do it.
She felt a pair of warm hands curl around her right arm and pull the glass from shard of broken mirror away from her wrist….
Katherine sobbed, groaning as she began to focus her gaze on the ground. She gathered her breath, rasping slightly as the pain that engulfed her mind began to slowly subside. She felt his hand loosen its grip on her face as he finished pillaging her thoughts at that time of her life, when she had just turned thirteen. The sense of seclusion had consumed her, the heartache of missing him was still potent at that time.
He chuckled and mocked, "Aw, did my baby miss her daddy?"
She lifted her head and twisted her gaze to his, seeing the menacing smirk. "Stop taunting me!"
Freddy laughed nastily at her and trailed his burnt hand down her flushed face, back towards her arm where once again he seized it in a firm grip. She sniffled and averted her gaze away from his, towards the children once more. He smirked again and brought his lips closer to her cheek, kissing it hotly. "You know, when I was listening to your little talk with Dr Turner, I must admit you did say something very interesting, in regard to me"
Her eyes knitted together in suspicious as she craned her face back to his.
His smirk grew into a malicious smile. "You said that you have been sleeping so much, because you crave me being around me, being in my company" His mouth parted as his black blistered tongue slithered over his bottom lip briefly. "What you actually meant is, that you crave me fucking you!"
Her mouth parted in repulsion at his statement, and she fiercely shook her head in discord, "No, I don't"
"Oh, then what was last night all about? What was it? Where you faking it?" he sniggered at her expression of disbelief, "Believe me you weren't. Those moans you were making were real. They were full of pure ecstasy. You loved me fucking you!"
Her breath hitched in her throat as she choked back a sob and began to struggle in his grasp, "Let me go!"
He snarled viciously and pulled her back against his chest, then leered crudely. "And you know what else, princess? Daddy loved fucking you too!"
Her eyes widened in rage, and she bucked against him, trying to wriggle free from his grasp, then snarled. "Let me go, you sick fucker!"
Freddy saw red, eyes glowing red and in burst of uncontrollable rage he spun her around and backhanded her with his coarse burnt hand. She shrieked and staggered back to the right and was about to collapse to the floor when he grabbed her arm again and drew her close. Hs lips were pulled back in a venomous snarl. He growled and twisted her around again, pressing her hard against his tattered sweater. His voice was low and deep as he demanded. "Apologize"
Katherine dropped her head and shook it meekly. "No"
He cursed and his fingers gripped her hair and wrenched her head back with a snarl. She cried out and tensed as she felt two of his blades slide across her neck and pressed tightly against her skin. His breath fluttered against her hair as he snapped. "Say sorry to Daddy"
Her lips fluttered open in anguish as the blades was pressed deeper against her skin, nearly drawing blood and she gasped, "I'm sorry Daddy. I'm sorry"
His fingers curled tighter into her hair, and he saw that her eyes were fluttering wildly as her tears trickled down her face. He gave one last scowl of fury and eased the pressure of the blades on her neck and then with one last tug of her hair, his fingers untangled from her locks and her head dropped forward. Her soft sobs were barely audible as she stared gloomily at her feet. She saw faint droplets of her tears falling to the ground at her feet.
Staring at the back of her head, Freddy slowly began to take long, calming deep breaths. Attempting to appease his vehemence. So, she was trying to muster up some valor against him. That little chat with that slut Sandra had reinvigorated her courage. To try and fight him. He sneered quietly. She was such a stupid little girl. But she would learn. He was going to teach her all over again not to defy him, not to disrespect him. Soon he would turn her into this submissive little girl, by any means possible.
Blinking slowly, Katherine took a long shuddering breath and gently raised her head. Maybe losing control of her anger and saying them words to him wasn't the best idea. But what else could she do? It was sickening how vulgar he was towards her. She knew deep down that he was trying to warp her mind into something as sordid as his, but she had to resist. Her mouth frowned slightly at the faint stinging sensation at the left corner of her lip. Gently, she slid her tongue out to touch the cut and tasted blood. "What I said last night. I mean it, that was the last time!"
His face was vacant as he processed her words, then deliberately a fiendish grin spread across his face. "Aw…" he mocked, then soon his lips were lowered to her left ear, "Come on honey" He twisted his head slightly to stare at the bench to their left. "How about a repeat performance?"
Her eyes flicked to his face and followed his gaze to the bench. A look of uncertainty flashed across her face.
He eyed her and smiled carnally, "C'mon, baby girl. I'll even let you go on top this time"
She knew there was a crudeness to him over the last few weeks, but this, it was disgusting, perverted. Her head shook wildly in disagreement, "No"
Again, another vulgar smirk presented itself on his face as he fucked with her mind once more. "Maybe tonight then"
She took a deep breath and wrenched her head to the right, at the far wall. Hoping that someone would wake her up, why was no-one watching her? A stray tear trailed down her face, the minutes ticking by in an uneasy silence until she heard him moaning softly. His icy blue eyes were fixed upon a figure facing them.
"You know…" he murmured quietly, "You were so beautiful as a little girl"
Her gaze turned towards the little nine-year-old apparition of herself, dressed in the same attire she had on. Faded jeans, white t-shirt and navy cardigan with white tennis shoes. Her face was marred with the same wounds as her and her brown locks were pulled back in a ponytail. The little specter stared hauntingly at them, her hands laying at her side.
It didn't take long for Katherine's tension to melt, as her body slackened. Seeing that little spirit of herself, felt as though her defenses she had tried to put up were crumbling away. Noticing that she was leaning into his arms Freddy gave a shrewd grin, "As I was saying earlier. I don't want you to listen to anything that bitch Sandra says to you. She is trying to corrupt you"
"She's not" Katherine began to shake her head.
"She is" Freddy hissed against her left ear, "I mean it sweetheart, you better go to sleep tonight"
"Or what?" she turned her face and raised her eyebrows, then shot back, "You'll use the belt on me again?"
His scarred lips curled backwards into an evil grin, baring his rotten teeth. "Oh, I'll do more than that"
She followed his gaze as he glowered ravenously at the little apparition then back to her and chortled darkly. Katherine swallowed thickly at the perverted grin that grew across his face and she tensed as he brought his left hand to her left cheek and tenderly stroked her flesh, grazing his fingertips over her bruises and grazed skin. Leisurely he brought his fingers to her lips and traced them over her bottom then the top of her quivering lips. "Sleep tonight. Or else"
Katherine gave a shaky nod and whimpered as he grasped the side of her face and pulled her close. "How about a little kiss, before you wake up?"
She tried to pull her head back, but his grip tightened, and she squealed as he turned her face to the right and leaned his opened mouth towards the crook of her neck. Then with a guttural snarl, mixed with a pleasurable moan he languidly licked her flesh with his slimy black blistered tongue inching it upwards towards her lips...
A muffled shriek tore from her throat as Katherine's eyes snapped opened in panic, her body slumped forward on the bench and her terrified gaze fell to the apple in her right hand. The middle of the fruit had a chunk missing from it and slithering inside were the worms and maggots. She flung it away from her and jolted up from the bench, looking vehemently at the ground and seen the residue that she had spat out from her dream.
Out of the corner of her eye to her left she saw Mary looking at her intently. Ignoring her, Katherine walked as fast as her legs could take her out of the courtyard and ran to her room. Once inside she slammed the door shut and wept as she gingerly touched the left side of her neck and cringed as her fingers felt his salvia coating her skin. Her fingers then brushed her lip, and she felt the sticky substance of her blood. Her legs quivered and then buckled beneath her as she slithered to the floor, sobs began to consume her as she whispered out loud.
"God, please help me"
x x x