Conversations of the Heart: Letters Journal I

by True2LucEli

After Season 8 of WCTH I was contemplating Lucabeth and their future together. I began "hearing" Lucas in my head and one day I sat down and wrote a letter to Elizabeth, she wrote back and before the evening was up I had six letters. This is an ongoing collection that are bound into Journals. Journal I (Letters 1-42)

38. Letter 38 Lucas Has an Admission

LGB

Hope Valley February 1, 1919

My darling,

I can't believe our wedding is just two weeks away. To think that very soon, You, Jack, and I will be an official family fills me with joy. This is my dream and I know now that whatever I had imagined in the past pales in comparison with what I already have come to love and share with both of you.

I know you will remember our conversation in Union City on our first trip there. I told you that I always had faith that I would know the perfect woman for me when I met her and that I would wait as long as I had to, to win her heart. Well, there is something more that I want to tell you. I know that we have agreed that we can say most anything to each other, within limits of propriety of course; but I have not found the right moment or words. Perhaps because until we are married some topics may be a bit delicate, so I hope that you will accept this in my letter.

I have waited to find my soulmate all these years and I had faith that I would find you. But when I say "waited", I mean that in every sense of the word. My dearest Elizabeth, you will be my first, my last, and my only lover and I come to you with no experience with what is expected of our physical union. I am, as you may guess, well read on such matters but that is where it ends. I know this may seem odd as I am world traveled and have known a great many women in my days; many from society and others via my businesses and adventures. But I wanted to wait for my soul mate and so here I am only yours.

I don't tell you this for fear that I might show my lack of experience. Because I also have faith that just as my heart and soul, I share with you, I know that my body will know yours instinctively too. I only have to be near you or even just have you in my thoughts to feel the desire. This I felt from the beginning, but as our relationship has grown the desire has become a hunger that I can't even explain. When you touch me, I feel the heat and when I hold you close, I feel the burn. It has been the sweetest agony to want you as I do.

And I don't think it is presumptuous of me to believe that you share in this desire as well. I feel your heart race along with mine, I can tell by your skin that blushes to my touch. And your sweet sighs. A gentleman may choose to be silent on such matters, but I think we are past that point now and soon we will not have to wait any longer. I am telling you this because I want you to know everything there is to know about me and this is a big part of who I am. It is something that we do not need to ever discuss if you would rather not, but I want you to share your thoughts now or after we are married if you wish to. As I have said before, there is nothing that you can't say to me; I am always here for you no matter what you need or want of me. I will always be here for help, solace, laughter, and love.

I adore you and sometimes I don't know where else I can put this love that grows every day. But every day it fills me fuller and seems to have no limits. I cannot wait for us to be man and wife and to share with you the responsibility and privilege of raising Jack. You are my precious treasures.

Yours now and always,

Lucas