CHAPTER EIGHT
Mike lay there stunned as she had just panicked and ran off. He felt his heart crush a little at the rejection. He was mad at himself for getting caught up in the charged atmosphere, and then acting on impulse towards her. This mistake may have cost him any real chance of winning her trust and being with her. He flopped onto his back as she disappeared into the women's locker room and threw an arm over his face.
Emotional pain charged through his system as he wondered how things would go tomorrow. At least most of the recruits would be gone for a few days, Tex had only listed six names and most of the extra training he sought was marksmanship.
He sat up and looked for his clothes then decided to take a shower here. He made his way slowly towards the men's locker. He stopped outside the women's locker room door and thought about going in and trying to talk to her, but he felt he'd just fuck this up even more. And he didn't want that. No, he decided to give her space for a few days and see if she came to him to talk.
He had a bad feeling in his gut that that wouldn't happen, and he had just lost his chance with her. At least it had been great sex. He sighed and stepped into the men's locker room and showered quickly, throwing on his clothes again and walking back to his quarters. He had hoped to see her waiting for him, but he knew he was thinking in a fantasy world.
Still has heart ached. He hadn't meant to make a bold move like that, but after the day's events, the emotional discharge, and his brain's misery, it had just happened. After sparring with her his body had wanted more, and apparently so did she, until after. The look of panic in her eyes had hurt. The way she ran away, had hurt. It took a lot to hurt Mike Slattery, but that was one thing that did it.
He sat in his room contemplating what he should do. It still upset him that he didn't know her first name. It bothered him that she hadn't trusted him yet. Curiosity was getting the better of him and he pulled the files of the instructors from the cabinet in the office portion of his quarters. He flipped through them until he found hers, then stared at the front of the folder.
Finally, he opened it and scanned the contract she had signed and there it was. Her first name. Jesse. Jesse J. Baker. He closed the folder and felt like he had just cheated. He wiped a hand over his mouth and fought the urge to cry. He was mad at himself for letting these feelings get out of control. He was the master of control on his emotions. It had kept him sane over the last few years, but today, he had lost control. He had let the reins slip, and now he was paying for it.
His eyes burned as he tried to hold the tears back. Fuck. He hadn't remembered how badly rejection could hurt. How quickly he could go from elated to defeated. He had opened his heart, and she had broken it. But he held no ill will towards her. He knew he had acted too quickly with her. He just hoped he didn't do irrevocable damage to the relationship.
He sat in the chair, contemplating what he should say to her the next time he saw her. A million scenarios drifted through his mind, and none of them felt right. He sighed and the first couple tears ran down his cheeks. He hurriedly wiped them away and pushed the anger feeling in to stop the tears from falling. It worked, for now.
Mike thought about trying to sleep, but he knew it was futile tonight. His brain was amped up and he didn't think he could overcome it. Normally he would do what he did earlier, hit the gym and work out, but now, with that memory in the gym…he felt that might be over for the rest of the time he was here. Thoughts of transferring out after this batch of recruits finished crossed his mind, or flat out retiring and finding a nice quiet house in the middle of nowhere to live out his days.
He sighed again and leaned back in the chair. How could he have fucked this up so badly? It was only the second time he had let his heart hope since he learned of Christine's death from the Red Flu. The first time ended disastrously as well, only it wasn't her running from him, she had died in his arms.
After Garnett's death, Mike had vowed to not let his heart be in a position again to feel that pain, but now a year and a half later his heart had slipped. He had met someone that changed his view on life. Someone he thought he could let in. But now, it's the same outcome. Heartache and headache.
He knew he was going to be in a sour mood tomorrow and he hoped everyone was smart enough to not piss him off. He had a feeling some of the recruits would take a dressing down before they figured it out. Hopefully the instructors saw it before he had to snap on someone. He figured Tex would pick up on it quickly and spread the word. Tex was a good man to have around.
He thought about finding Tex and talking to him about Second Place…Jesse. But then he would have to admit what happened and he wasn't ready to face the rejection yet, not with another human being. But Tex would know Jesse the best, maybe he would know how to fix this. He decided to hold off for now. Let her cool down a little and see if he could talk to her face to face first.
His brain raced well into the early morning hours, and he wondered what she was doing, and thinking about. The later the hours got the more frustrated he grew. His brain was shifting between remembering the ecstasy of the sex, and the pain of the rejection shortly after.
The time finally rolled around that he had to meet up with Tex and get the recruits who would be working for the day set up. He dressed in his uniform and left his barracks still feeling agitated. He found Tex waiting for him at the gun range and Mike walked up. Tex gave him a once over but luckily didn't say anything. Mike knew he looked rough.
"Tex," Mike said in greeting as he saw the recruits preparing for work on the range.
"Admiral," Tex said slowly, still looking at Mike. Mike was growing more irritated, and Tex looked at the recruits. "We kept six back for range work. I think we should hold off on hand-to-hand combat."
Mike's head snapped to him when he said that and wondered if Tex knew something. He looked at the other man.
"Something wrong?" he asked the loaded question. Tex looked at him, assessing the current mood. He rubbed his hand over his beard.
"Second Place needed the day off. Personal business," Tex said carefully. Mike could see him watching him for a reaction.
"At least she told someone," Mike said annoyed. He managed to keep the pain out of his eyes and voice. "Fine, work on the range. Today. I'll hang back and watch."
"Aye, Admiral," Tex replied. He stared at Mike a moment longer then turned and headed back to the range. Mike watched for the better part of the morning as Tex worked with Pete and Colt on teaching the recruits to shoot better.
They broke for lunch then worked for another hour and half after lunch before Tex dismissed the recruits to enjoy the rest of the weekend. Mike was walking back to his quarters when Tex jogged up next to him matching his pace.
"Hey, Admiral, want to grab a drink?" Tex asked. Mike slowed a little and contemplated his proposition.
"Just us?" he asked, not wanting to be around many people still. He was mentally drained after hiding the emotional pain he had been in all day. Drowning his feelings in liquor sounded like a nice idea.
"Sure, it can be just us, but you'll need to drive," Tex said a little sheepish. "Second Place took my jeep and isn't back yet."
Mike flinched a little at the mention of Second Place, but he just nodded. He checked his watch before he spoke.
"Alright. Meet me at my quarters in an hour," Mike replied, and Tex nodded but didn't leave. He studied Mike's face.
"You, okay, Buddy?" Tex asked. Mike knew it was because Tex had never experienced Mike broody before. He sighed and nodded his head slowly.
"I'll be fine," he said and then turned and walked away. He needed the next hour to steal his reserves and be ready to face Tex while he drowned his sorrows.
An hour later Tex knocked on his door and Mike grabbed his jacket and keys. He drove them to the bar and parked his truck. When he got out, he got Tex's attention over the hood and tossed the keys to the other man.
"Don't get too drunk, Tex, you're driving home," Mike informed him and then went into the bar ordering his first round of drinks. Tex sat down next to him and stared at his friend. "What?"
"Everything okay?" Tex asked. Mike thought about it but he wasn't drunk enough yet to talk so he just shrugged his shoulders.
"Just want to drink," he mumbled as he downed a shot and chased it with a beer. Tex raised an eyebrow at him but then nodded and settled in.
They had been there a few hours and Mike knew he was fully drunk. Tex had stayed by his side and kept the talk to a minimal. Mike could tell Tex was worried about him. They had moved to a booth an hour ago, because Tex figured it would give Mike more stability.
Mike had been wrong about drinking tonight. He thought it would make him forget everything, to drown in the sorrow and liquor. To become oblivious to it all, but all the alcohol really did was heighten his awareness of what had happened. It hyper focused his mind on Jesse and chipped away at the pit in his stomach. He felt the emotional tidal wave crashing through him and he laid his head on his arms on the table.
He jumped a little when a hand landed gently on his elbow, and he turned enough to look at Tex out of the corner of his eye.
"So, I'm gonna take a chance here, Admiral," Tex said softly. "But something happened between you and Second Place."
"You'd be right," he slurred and closed his eyes.
"Want to talk about it?" Tex asked. Mike laughed.
"No. I want to forget about it."
"That doesn't look like it's happening, even with all the alcohol. Look, she's a complicated woman."
"I've noticed," Mike huffed. Visions of them having sex flashed through his mind and he swallowed.
"How bad is this?" Tex asked. "Did you say something?"
"Nope," Mike stated. "And neither did she," Mike continued with a sigh.
"What do you mean?" Tex asked.
"Well, we had sex then she ran away," Mike said flatly. Tex's jaw dropped open a little and he leaned in closer to Mike.
"Wait. What?" Tex asked and Mike could see the surprise in the man. "You had sex with her?"
"Yes," Mike said picking his head up. He could hear the depression in his voice.
"Holy shit. And she ran away?"
"Yep," Mike answered, rubbing his face with both hands. "It just kind of happened, and then she…panicked I suppose."
"Who initialized it?" Tex asked. Mike was weary and wanted to just drink until he passed out.
"I guess I did. I kissed her first. But she never once said to stop."
"And?"
"And it was incredible," Mike said reminiscing in the memories. Then the sadness overtook him, and he closed his eyes. "Then she just took off."
"I think you scared her," Tex replied. Mike frowned. He downed another shot.
"I didn't mean to," he mumbled.
Mike didn't remember much more of the night just that Tex did manage to get him home at some point. He spent the whole next day in bed, recovering from his night of alcohol indulgence. It was late evening when his cell phone rang. He frowned as he didn't recognize the number, but it was a local number, so he answered it.
"Admiral Slattery," he said in his official voice.
"Uh, yeah, this is Nick Handus, um you don't know me. I own the bar down from your training grounds."
"Yeah," Mike said a niggle of worry creeping into his brain.
"Well, um, there's a lady down here that's pretty drunk. I managed to get her keys away from her, but she's saying she doesn't have anywhere to go."
"Okay, why are you calling me?"
"Well, my bartender says he's seen her in here before with a couple guys he knows are instructors down at the base. He thinks she's an instructor too."
"I'll be right there," Mike said and got the name and address of the bar from the man. He sighed and wondered if he was really the right person to go pick her up. He was going to need a second driver to get Tex's jeep back, so he got himself dressed and went over to the men's barracks officers' quarters. He knocked and waited. Tex popped his head out.
"Admiral," he said cheerily. "You recovered from last night?"
"Yeah. We have an issue," Mike said as he stepped back so Tex would come outside. Tex got the hint and came out, closing the door behind him.
"What's the problem?" Tex asked.
"I think Jesse is at the bar down the road drunk. The owner called. We need to go pick her up."
"Shit. Okay. Give me a second. You sure you want to go with?"
"Yes. I need to be there," Mike said with a sigh. Tex watched him a moment.
"Okay. I can go in and talk her out if you just want to drop me off."
"We'll figure it out when we get there," Mike said. Tex nodded and disappeared into the barracks again. A few minutes later he came out ready to go.
To Be Continued…