I wanted to write this story because I don't want anyone to feel hopeless like I did. This story does center around mental illness and dark topics, and loosely based on my experiences with the mental health system, so if this is uncomfortable for you, don't read it. That being said, I'm a sucker for happy endings. I hope you'll enjoy!
I'm Still Here
Prologue
She was around fifteen when her first attempt happened.
Frankly, no one saw it coming, least of all Kagome Higurashi.
As a high school student, it shouldn't shock anyone that stress was beginning to be a regular part of students' lives. But for Kagome, it had gotten worse. Stress wouldn't even be the right adjective to describe how she felt that day.
That day – March 23rd – was the worst day that she had in her entire life. She felt hopeless, lost, as if she didn't know what she was doing with her life anymore. Not that she had any heavy plans to begin with.
She thought that no one at school liked her anymore, even though she had no hard evidence to support that assumption. She thought that her family hated her, and she came to that conclusion because of all the fights she started having.
Kagome wanted to believe that she was a kind person, but by the time she was fifteen, she was miserable. Absolutely miserable. She didn't want to eat (if she did want to eat at all, she didn't want to have much), she couldn't sleep at normal hours, she lost any interest in talking to other people.
She knew that she was breaking her family's hearts; her mom's, her brother's, and her grandpa's. But she couldn't find it within herself to care. Instead, Kagome felt like they were better off without her.
On March 23rd, 2019, she left her house, sometime in the morning. Kagome couldn't really remember much, other than all the thoughts in her mind saying one thing: she had to leave.
She had no particular place to go to, no destination. But eventually, as she passed by neighbours, ramen restaurants, and a schoolyard, she found herself on a bridge.
Kagome's eyes glazed over the river underneath, and she briefly wondered what would happen if she jumped. Would the water be cold? Or would it warm her to the touch? When her hands touched the railing, she knew that she wanted to jump. The urge was consuming her from the inside out. Wasn't there a saying that the longer you thought about something, the more likely you'd follow through with doing that thing? That was how Kagome was feeling right now.
She should just jump.
Who would really miss her? Did anyone really care about her? Or was she just a burden to everyone she knew?
Kagome couldn't handle the pain of knowing that she was a burden to her family.
She wasn't even aware that she was crying until she noticed that her vision was blurry. But Kagome didn't make an effort to wipe away her tears.
What was the point?
There wasn't a point to anything. Was there? If so, Kagome wasn't able to see it.
And before she knew it, she climbed up on the railing, her eyes still gazing down toward the water. It did look like it was a long jump. But it wasn't enough to sway her from jumping.
If anyone asked her, she would always say the same thing: she just wanted the life she was going through to end.
Before she knew it, she was falling. But it didn't take as much time as Kagome thought.
But once she hit the water with a lot of force, she saw darkness.