(Lawndale High Cafeteria. The Fashion Club are having lunch)
Sandi: So I told Joey that if he doesn't get a new car by tomorrow, I'm calling our date off.
Tiffany: Way to go Sandi. Tell him where to stick it!
Stacy: But isn't that a little mean Sandi? I mean what if he can't get another car?
Sandi: (rudely) Oh I'm sorry Stacy. Do you wanna take out Joey?
Stacy: (timidly) Eep! Umm no Sandi. That's actually great of you. Tell Joey where to stick it.
Quinn: So who are you guys going to the prom with? I bet you managed to get some lucky guys.
Stacy: Well I'm going out with Robert to make up for me calling him a sucky football player.
Tiffany: I'm going with Jamie. His voice is so funny to listen to. Thank God, I don't have a weird voice.
(Quinn, Sandi and Stacy all look at Tiffany confusingly but Tiffany doesn't notice)
Sandi: Well if you must know, Joey is taking me. Besides he better get a new car or I swear we're not going to the prom!
Stacy: But anyway, who are you going with Quinn?
Quinn: Oh I'm going with Jeffy. Since y'know his shoes might match my dress.
(Hallway. Jeffy is going through his locker. Quinn walks up to him)
Quinn: (sultry) Hi Jeffy-lube. The prom's coming up. Would you be so lucky as to take me there?
Jeffy: No way Quinn. Not after the last time we went out.
Quinn: (irritated) Come on, how was I supposed to know that you were allergic to peanut oil!
Jeffy: (angrily) Well find someone else to go with you. Cause I've had enough!
(Jeffy closes his locker and walks off)
Quinn: Gah! Dammit! Now what am I going to do?! All the suitable guys hvae been taken. (sighs) I guess I have no other choice but to ask...Upchuck.
(Upchuck is standing by his locker. Quinn dejectedly walks up to him)
Upchuck: (sultry) Well if it isn't the red-haired beauty herself, Quinn Morgendorffer.
Quinn: Can it creep! Umm, I need to ask you a favour.
Upchuck: A favour? What would it be my ravenous beauty?
Quinn: (groans) Look will you go to the prom with me? Literally all of the suitable guys are either busy or taken.
Upchuck: Well as tempting as that is, I'm afraid that I'm already going with someone.
Quinn: (extremely shocked) What?! Who in their right mind would go with someone like you?!
(Andrea walks up to Upchuck carrying some black roses)
Andrea: (slightly blushing with a somewhat angry expression) Yo Chuck. I umm appreciate the flowers and such.
Quinn: You're going with Andrea?
Upchuck: Yes I am, Her gothic beauty has managed to capture my heart more than any other woman.
Andrea: (blushes harder) Chuck why don't you and I have a little chat about public affection?
(The two walk away with Andrea having her arm around Upchuck)
Quinn: (sighs sadly) Well that's it. I guess I won't go to that stupid prom...
(Haus Morgendorffer. Daria, Jane and Jake are watching TV. Jake is sleeping on the couch)
Jane: So Daria, I heard that the prom is coming up. (smirks) You taking anyone special?
Daria: Get real Jane. The day I set foot in a prom will be the day I finally let my mom redecorate my room. Besides are you going?
Jane: (shrugs) Well Ms. Li wants me to help decorate the gym. Even after what happened last time.
Daria: Well thankfully you won't have to worry about Quinn taking over. Since she's probably picking out her prom dress as we speak.
(Quinn then bursts through the front door sobbing heavily and sits down on the couch next to the three. The noise ends up waking Jake)
Jake: (alert) Whoa! What's happening?! Is the house on fire again?!
Jane: No, Mr. Morgendorffer. It's just Princess Grace breaking out the waterworks.
Daria: Yeah as if we needed to hear any of that today or ever.
Jake: Oh come on Daria. Quinn's really upset. Now why don't you tell us what's troubling you honey?
Quinn: (in tears) I can't find anyone to go to the prom with me! Now I'll be dateless...
Daria: (fake shock) Oh no! Now you're gonna be (smirks) unpopular. I always knew it would happen like this.
Quinn: (angrily) Shut up Daria! This isn't funny.
Jake: Don't worry Quinn, I'm sure you'll find someone. (gets an idea) Hey I've got it! Why don't you take Daria as your prom date?
Daria and Quinn: (extremely shocked in horror) WHAT?! You can't be serious!
Daria: Come on Dad, even that joke doesn't deserve this level of spite!
Quinn: I'm going to be sick...
Jane: (snickering) I knew that was a family thing.
Jake: Why not? I mean since I don't have to worry about those boys trying to feel all over you. Also you girls don't spend enough time together.
Daria: (sarcastically) If you wanted me and Quinn to spend time together, you might as well have sent us to Chernobyl. Sure we'd die but at least we'd be together.
Jake: (pleading) Come on girls, I saw this on TV so it'll probably work.
Quinn: Reality check Dad. This isn't some TV show. This is real life!
Jake: Also if you both go, you'll be looking at a pretty hefty increase in your allowance.
Daria: (skeptical) Me and my associate will have to discuss this issue further.
Jane: Well while you guys sort out your problem, I'm gonna head on home and make sure that Trent didn't accidentally starve to death. I'll see ya later.
(Jane then leaves the house while laughing her ass off)
(Daria's room. The sisters are discussing on having to go to the prom)
Quinn: (groans) I can't believe Dad! I mean what the heck is he thinking? It's bad enough I can't get a prom date, but I'll have to go with my geeky sister.
Daria: (irritably) You are aware that I'm resisting the urge to kick you and Dad's ass right now right?
Quinn: Ugh, whatever Daria. I'm not happy about this either y'know.
Daria: But Dad did say we'd get a hefty allowance and I could always use some money for my cabin fund.
Quinn: (sighs) Well it is a lot of money
Daria: Fine I'll do it. Besides it'll also get Mom and Dad off my back about being more "sociable" and "involved".
Quinn: (hesitatantly) Okay Daria. But I swear if you embarrass me there, I'll...
Daria: (interrupts while smirking) You'll what? Tickle me? I can handle it this time Quinn.
Quinn: (sighs in defeat) Dammit. But first we gotta do something about your umm appearance.
Daria: (looks to the sky) Why do you punish me universe?
(Prom Night. Quinn is waiting for Daria in the living room. Quinn's wearing the same dress she wore in "Just Add Water". Helen and Jake both are very excited)
Helen: Oh I can't wait to see how Daria looks. I bet she'll be very pretty!
Quinn: Of course she'll look pretty Mom. Yours truly made her over. Oh here she comes!
(Daria walks downstairs wearing the same dress as Quinn except that it's forest-green. Her glasses have also been replaced from her usual coke bottle glasses to a more stylish wire-framed ones)
Jake: Oh kiddo, you look absolutely gorgeous! You're as cute as a button.
Daria: (blushes slightly) Yeah thanks Dad. I'd like to get tonight over with while my dignity's still intact.
Quinn: (gets up) Alright well we'll see you guys later.
Helen: Okay have fun girls. We'll just be here y'know chilling out.
(The girls then leave the house)
Helen: (sultry) Now that the girls are gone, why don't we head on up to the bedroom for some fun Jakey?
Jake: (excited) I'm right behind ya Helen!
(Jake's car. Daria is driving while Quinn's sitting in the front seat)
Quinn: So how's it feel to go to prom?
Daria: Don't get too chummy Quinn. I'm only doing this for the allowance and that's it.
Quinn: Okay then Daria. But you better remember what I said.
Daria: (sighs) I know, I know. I'm not gonna embarrass you. (voiceover) Dammit, I must be getting soft.
(Lawndale High. Everyone's in the gym dancing and having a good time. Ms. Barch is standing at the door greeting people)
Ms. Barch: Alright you males, you better play nice or else you're gonna have to answer to me!
(Daria and Quinn walk in)
Quinn: Hey Ms. Barch.
Ms. Barch: Oh hello there Quinn. Where's you date?
Daria: (sighs in defeat) You're looking at her.
Ms. Barch: (surprised yet pleased) Good for you girls! Stick it to those chauvinist male pigs!
Daria: Umm thanks I guess.
(Daria and Quinn walk off while giving Ms. Barch weird looks. The two walk over to Jane who's sitting at a table by herself. She's wearing a blood-red prom dress)
Jane: (teasingly) So how are the happy couple this evening?
Daria: Go to hell Jane. This isn't funny.
Jane: Okay, okay. I'm just messing with you guys. So far this night has been pretty boring.
Daria: Well don't be so sure Jane. (smirks) If we're lucky, Mr. DeMartino might have another heart attack.
Quinn: (giggles at Daria's statement) Oh Daria's that's so terrible. Oh hey I see my friends. I'll see ya in a little bit.
(Quinn runs off to the fashion club, who're chatting by the punch table)
Jane: So I see Princess Grace has been on her best behaviour. What'd you do?
Daria: Nothing actually. Though if she pulls anything tonight, she'll have to sleep outside on her leash.
(Punch table. The Fashion Club are chatting when Quinn walks up to them)
Quinn: Hey guys. What's going on?
Stacy: Oh hey Quinn. We were just waiting for you to get here. So where's Jeffy?
Tiffany: Yeah Quinn. Shouldn't he be with you?
Quinn: (nervously) Oh yeah, Jeffy suddenly came down with a terrible illness and he couldn't take me. It's a damn shame really.
Sandi: So where's your date Quinn? Dont tell me you came by yourself like your loser cousin over there.
Quinn: (extremely irritated) Well she's not here by herself actually.
Sandi: (confrontational) Then where is her date then Quinn!
(Daria then walks over to the four carrying a soda)
Daria: What's going on here?
Quinn: In fact, she's my date Sandi!
(Sandi, Stacy and Tiffany gasp in shock and surprise)
Sandi: Your date is that...that loser geekface?!
Daria: (sarcastically) Well aren't we being nice this evening huh Sandi?
Stacy: Quinn you never told us that you're into girls.
Tiffany: Yeah Quinn. That's like so messed up.
Quinn: Well just so you guys I'm not into girls and I'm not also not into any if that disgusting stuff I've heard about on those websites either!
Daria: Well this is getting weird, even for me. Come on Quinn, let's head back to Jane's table.
Quinn: (angry at the fashion club) I'm right behind you.
(The two walk off leaving the fashion club absolutely flabbergasted)
Sandi: (voiceover) I've got to do something about this. I cannot let the reputation of the Fashion Club be ruined by Quinn and her geeky cousin!
(Jane's table. Daria and Jane are bored out of their minds. While Quinn is bobbing her head to the music)
Daria: Well prom date, what do we do now?
Quinn: I'll think of something when I go my makeup bag from the car. (gets up) I'll be back in a jiffy.
(On her way outside, Quinn notices Sandi standing by the door with a malicious grin on her face)
Quinn: Umm Sandi, what's with the look exactly?
Sandi: (puts on a fake smile) Oh it's nothing Quinn. I got something stuck in my teeth. Anyway, Jeffy's outside looking for you.
Quinn: (confused and shocked) Oh umm really? I umm thought he was sick.
Sandi: Well he just called and told me about how he got a little surprise for you waiting outside.
Quinn: Oh how nice of him! (voiceover) Maybe I'll consider giving him a second chance after this.
(Quinn walks out the door. With Sandi giggling evilly quietly)
(Outside. Quinn is standing outside of the gym looking for Jeffy.)
Quinn: Jeffy? Where are you? I'm ready for my surprise!
(Sandi's up in a tree above Quinn. She's holding a bucket that's full of a liquid something)
Sandi: (quietly) Time for you to pay, Quinn Morgendorffer.
(She then pours the liquid out of the bucket onto Quinn's head dousing her fully)
Quinn: Eww! What the hell is this stuff?! (sniffs the air) Wait? It smells like...PIG'S BLOOD!
(Sandi then jumps down from the tree right behind Quinn and pushes her into a puddle of mud.)
Sandi: (smiles evilly) That's for all the trouble you and cousin caused me.
(She then runs off back into the gym leaving Quinn covered in blood and mud)
Quinn: I'm completely soaked in blood and mud! And now my dress is all ruined! (starts crying) This prom night freaking sucks...
(Jane's table. Daria is still completely bored. Jane is sketching in her notepad)
Daria: Man, I wonder what's keeping Quinn. I mean she usually finds her makeup bag in a heartbeat.
Jane: Who knows? I saw her and Sandi going outside together. But now she's back with the fashion drones.
Daria: I'm gonna go check on Quinn. (gets up from the table). If I'm not back, don't come looking for me.
Jane: Alright amiga. I'll hold down the fort from here.
(Outside. Daria's looking for Quinn)
Daria: Quinn? Come back inside the gym. I'm pretty you should have your bag by now. (sighs tiredly) Great. Now where did she go off to?
(Daria then hears some soft crying coming from nearby and starts to get a little concerned)
Daria: Quinn? Is that you?
(She then sees Quinn sitting on a nearby bench crying her eyes out while covered in blood and mud)
Daria: (runs over to Quinn in concern) Quinn? What happened to you?! Are you okay?
Quinn: (looks up at Daria and continues to cry) No I'm not okay! My dress is all ruined and I smell like I just bathed in pig's blood and had a mud bath!
Daria: Who...who did this to you?
Quinn: (still sobbing) What did you say D...Daria?
Daria: (sternly) Who did this to you?
Quinn: (starting to calm down) It...It was S...Sandi. I saw her running back in the gym after this.
(Daria suddenly gets really angry at what Sandi's done to Quinn)
Daria: Quinn, I'll be right back. I gotta go deal with a snobby bitch. In the meantime, I got you a spare outfit in the trunk of the car and I want you to meet me back in the gym.
Quinn: (slightly scared) What are you planning on doing, Daria?
Daria: Just go already!
(Quinn lets out a terrified "Eep" and runs to the car)
(Lawndale High Gym. Everyone is now slow dancing with their dates. Kevin and Brittany are furiously making out while Upchuck and Andrea are doing the same. Daria walks in still looking angry but calmed down considerably)
Kevin: (briefly stops making out) Hey Daria. Is this prom great or what?
Daria: Shut it, pigskin for brains.
Kevin: (ignorantly blissful) All right!
(Daria walks over to Jane who's now standing by the punch table sketching out the scene in her notepad)
Jane: Woah, what's wrong Daria? You look like someone just forced you to work back at the nut stand.
Daria: Oh nothing Jane. I just want to wonder where Sandi is.
Jane: Umm she's slow dancing with Joey. Daria are you sure you're feeling alright?
Daria: (calm but still angry) Of course I'm alright Jane. I'm gonna go make a quick phone call...
(Daria then walks off leaving Jane really confused)
Jane: Well okay amiga. I'll just be right here. Geez Daria's acting weird even for her.
(Quinn then enters the gym and walks over to Jane. Quinn's all cleaned up and wearing her outfit from "Daria Dance Party")
Jane: Quinn, what happened to your dress? (sniffs the air) And why do you smell like you were in a horror movie?
Quinn: (blushes slightly) Oh n...no reason Jane. Hey, have you seen Daria? She told me to meet her back in here.
(Daria walks back to the two with a small, satisfied smile on her face)
Daria: Oh you're here Quinn. You and Jane are just in time.
Jane and Quinn: For what exactly?
Daria: You'll see guys. You will see...
(Corey then bursts through the gym door. He's extremely pissed off)
Corey: Where is she?! Where the hell is Sandi?!
(The music then abruptly stops and everyone stops dancing to wonder what's going on)
Sandi: (nervously) Oh hey Corey. What are you doing here?
(Corey angrily walks over to Sandi and Joey)
Corey: You said you'd take me to the prom! Not this cheeseball right here! How could you do this to me?
Joey: Wait a minute. Sandi, what's he talking about? You said I'm the only one you'd go with.
Sandi: (lying) Oh, I umm...well I don't know what he's talking about either, Joey.
Corey: Oh I'm lying huh? Well why don't you tell that to the other guys then?
(Corey then points behind to show a whole army of boys enter the gym looking equally pissed off)
Joey: (starting to get angry) Sandi, you...you lied to me.
Sandi: Joey! It's not what it looks like! I'm serious!
Corey: Well I've had just about enough of this! Let's get her guys!
(The guys start clamoring in agreement and starts chasing after a running Sandi out of the gym. Joey and Corey join them to get her as well)
(Everyone then laughs at the scene with Stacy, Tiffany and Quinn laughing the hardest)
Quinn: Daria, you weren't kidding at all. That was pretty hilarious actually!
Daria: (satisfied) Well even I admit that I'm surprised how this managed to turn out.
(Mr. DeMartino then approaches the microphone)
Mr. DeMartino: And now it is with GREAT reluctance that I will announce this year's PROM KING AND QUEEN!
Jane: (fake surprise) Oh gee, I wonder who it could be. I'm really on the edge of my seat.
Quinn: (sarcastically) Hey, if we're lucky maybe it might be Upchuck and Andrea.
Daria: (smirks) Huh, not bad Quinn.
Mr. DeMartino: Lawndale High's NEWEST prom king and queen are... (sarcastically) Oh what a surprise. KEVIN AND BRITTANY!
(Everyone then starts applauding and cheering. Kevin and Brittany walk up where crowns are placed on top of their heads.)
Kevin: (speaks into the microphone) I just wanna like thank everyone here at school and stuff for making us the prom king and queen.
Brittany: Yeah, it's really an honor! Though does that mean we have to like start ruling over a kingdom or something?
Mr. DeMartino: (extremely angry) WHY MUST I ALWAYS HAVE TO WASTE MY LIFE BEING AROUND THESE SIMPLETONS?! ARRGH!
(He then clutches his chest in pain and falls to the floor)
Jodie: Oh my gosh! Mr. DeMartino's having another heart attack!
(Everyone in the gym then start panicking. Daria, Jane and Quinn all have huge smirks on their faces)
Daria: Wow, I guess this night wasn't a complete waste of time after all. Well as much as I want to stay and watch the bloodbath, Quinn and I are going to head out for the night.
Quinn: Yeah, I'm getting a little tired honestly.
Jane: Alright then guys. I'll hang back here and try to see if I can capture this whole event.
Daria: Okay Jane, we'll catch you later.
(Daria and Quinn then walk out the gym)
(Jake's car. Daria is still driving while Quinn's still sitting in the front seat)
Quinn: Uh, Daria this isn't the way home. Where are we going?
Daria: Well I thought we'd stop somewhere for a while before we actually head home.
(Lovers Lane. Daria and Quinn are sitting on the car's hood looking at the stars)
Quinn: Wow the sky sure is beautiful tonight.
Daria: Yeah they sure are. If I wasn't such a "misery chick" I'd actually say this night is magnificent.
Quinn: Oh come on Daria, you're not a misery chick. Anyone who calls you that is stupid anyway.
Daria: Oh, well thanks Quinn. I have to admit that kinda means a lot actually.
Quinn: (smiles slightly) You're welcome. Oh hey, Daria can I tell you something?
Daria: (smirks) You just did. But seriously, what is it?
Quinn: Well I appreciate you taking care of Sandi for doing that bad stuff to me. That really means a lot to me.
Daria: Well, nobody messes with my sister except me. (smirks) Besides, you actually were tolerable this evening.
Quinn: (lightly punches Daria in the arm while giggling) Thanks Daria. I'm sorry for calling you my cousin and for acting mean to you. (suddenly gets sad) I've been feeling really bad about that lately.
Daria: (puts a hand on Quinn's shoulder) It's okay Quinn. I wasn't exactly sisterly myself either. So let's say we both did things to hurt the other.
Quinn: Mhm. So how about a permanent truce sis?
Daria: (gives Quinn a small smile) Yeah Quinn, a permanent truce.
(Quinn then gets teary eyed and suddenly hugs Daria)
Daria: (shocked and blushing) Wow Quinn, I can see you're pretty happy about this.
Quinn: (still hugging Daria) Oh thank you so much Daria! You've no idea how happy I am! I love you sis.
Daria: (smiles and hugs Quinn back) I love you too Quinn.
(Haus Morgendorffer. Daria and Quinn walk back into the house and sit on the couch)
Quinn: Tonight was actually a lot of fun honestly. Don't you think so Daria?
Daria: Well as much as I hate prom, I'll say that this evening was pretty entertaining.
(Quinn then immediately falls asleep while snoring quietly. Daria gets a blanket from the couch and covers her up)
Daria: (ruffles Quinn's hair) Goodnight sis.
(She then turns off the living room light and walks upstairs to her room)
(Daria's room. Daria is in her pajamas getting ready for bed. She takes out a photo from the prom)
Daria: (smiles) Now this is a night that I'll really remember for a long time.
(The photo is of her and Quinn's prom picture with both of them doing the iconic "Daria folding her arms" pose. Except they both have smirks on their faces)
Daria: (puts the picture on her nightstand) Well, time for me to hit the hay.
(Daria turns off the lights and drifts off to sleep)
THE END