Chapter 4:
They make the journey back to the Inn in relative silence, Naruto trailing slightly behind Kakashi. Head in his thoughts, Naruto becomes vaguely aware that he can feel Kakashi's emotions without being in sage mode or reaching out to him with his chakra. Focusing on the older man's emotions, Naruto can feel his worry and fear. Also feeling his overwhelming amount of longing and need. Kakashi is fighting an internal battle with himself, a raging war of emotion weighing heavily on his shoulders. Shuddering, Naruto makes his way to the Copy Nins side, collecting his hand and giving it a squeeze. Electricity at the contact travels up his arm and across his chest, making him suck in a harsh breath before speaking, "I don't know why, but I can feel everything you are feeling. Stop battling with yourself and talk to me." Kakashi stares at him wide-eyed, despair washing over him. Naruto shudders and closes his eyes, squeezing at Kakashi's hand, focusing on releasing some chakra to encase him in a warm, soothing and calming embrace. Sighing heavily, Kakashi's emotions start to level off, still remaining silent on the remainder of the journey back to the Inn.
Finally at the doorstep of the Inn, Kakashi leads them back to Naruto's room. Stepping inside, Naruto turns to find the Copy Nin hesitating awkwardly at the doorway. Feelings of fear and trepidation pour into him from Kakashi, making him shiver, "Please, Kakashi. I want to talk more… We can have dinner and just talk. You look like you could use a proper meal." Nodding, but not meeting his eyes, Kakashi makes his way into the suite, setting himself down on the couch. Naruto thumbs through the Inns menu, before calling in an order for the both of them. Order placed, Naruto sits next to Kakashi on the couch, trying to better gauge his emotions. Kakashi has his eyes closed, brow slightly furrowed. Naruto can feel him struggling with something. "What are you doing, Kakashi?" A stretch of silence passes between them before the Copy Nin opens his eyes once more with a sigh. "I am able to close off the portion of my mind that receives your emotions, although only temporarily. It's a strange trick I learned when I was still in Konoha. It was the only thing that kept me sane while I was so near you." Naruto's eyes widened at the admission, sadness washing over him. "I wish I had known, it probably would have been easier for you if you had just talked to me. I can feel your emotions now if I concentrate on them…"
A long stretch of silence spreads between them, Kakashi hesitant to look at Naruto. Naruto, hesitant to speak a loud any more of his thoughts. Hand fidgeting in his lap, Naruto finally breaks the silence, "What… What was your plan after this? If I hadn't sought you out what were you going to do? Where were you going to go?" Mulling over his thoughts, Kakashi whispers back in reply, "I … I don't know." Naruto could feel a rush of sadness and despair pour into him from the Copy Ninja. Shivering at the feeling, Naruto reaches out to comfort him, a sudden knock at the door pulling both of their attention.
Jumping to his feet, Naruto makes for the door, greeting the doorman delivering their food. Settling back into the room, he sets out their food at the small dining table, watching Kakashi wearily. The Copy Ninja eventually leaves the couch, a frown on his lips, sitting across the table from Naruto. Silence stretching between them once more, Naruto pushes his food around his plate, finally closing his eyes. A few deep breaths and he is able to focus in on Kakashi's emotions. A crushing wave of fear and uncertainty slams into him, stealing his breath from his lungs. Wincing, Naruto tries to pull back from Kakashi emotions, finding that even once he has broken his concentration and opened his eyes he can still feel them in the back of his mind. Searching the Copy Ninjas down turned face, sorrow and despair flooded into him. Scrunching his eyes shut at the crushing wave of emotions tormenting his mind, Naruto breaks their silence, "STOP! Stop it! You're driving me insane. Just fucking talk to me!" His body was shaking, hands clenched into fists at his sides. Kakashi's silence making him draw in a few deep breaths before opening his eyes.
Kakashi's eyes were moist with unshed tears, his lips drawn tight, "This is why I didn't want to be near you. I …. I had to get myself far away from you. I didn't want you to struggle the way I was. I have been able to feel your emotions radiating from you for a long time and it's so… overwhelming. All consuming. I'm sorry, Naruto. I should just go." A sharp pang of sadness washes over Naruto as Kakashi stands up to leave. The dull ache in his chest suddenly intensified, as if a piece of him was being ripped from his body. Shivering at the intensity of it and imagining Kakashi suffering the same feeling for such a long stretch of time, Naruto reaches out to the Copy Ninja.
Almost making it to the door, Kakashi is stopped in his tracks as he feels Naruto's chakra wrapping tightly around him. He wants to sob, wants to release all the pain and sadness he had built up inside him, but he couldn't. He had to spare Naruto of this beautiful but awful connection between them. Restraining himself, Kakashi speaks softly, "Naruto. Please… I don't want you to suffer because of me. Let me go. I'm sure if I can get far enough away from you that it will be easier for you to overcome this."
Bringing himself to his feet, Naruto makes his way to the Copy Nin, wrapping his arms gently around his body, letting his chakra encompass them both tightly, replying, "I won't let you go. Never. Even if you were to leave I would still find you in my dreams. I would still feel a deep ache in my heart. Please. Stay." A feeling of despair pours into Naruto from Kakashi, the Copy Nin quivering in his embrace. Hugging him tighter, Naruto pours more chakra into him, trying to calm him, whispering, "It will be okay. We will figure it out together. Please. You don't have to be alone."
Finally closing his eyes, Kakashi relents, allowing Naruto's chakra to sooth him, his own chakra reacting in kind. They embrace a while longer, each relaxing into the comforting sensation of the other's elements. A dull buzzing of lightning dancing across Naruto's skin; a cold breeze ruffling at the back of Kakashi's unruly hair. Naruto finally releases him, slowly stepping back and pulling away his chakra. Underlying uncertainty still rampant in his mind, Kakashi slowly turns to face the younger man, searching his eyes. Naruto gently grabbed his hand, the electricity dancing between their bodies. Reading the sadness and longing in the Copy Nins eyes, Naruto pulled him slightly toward him, "Sit with me… Please."
Relenting, Kakashi moves away from the doorway, back into the suite, sitting back next to Naruto on the couch. Still averting his eyes, Kakashi struggled with what to say, Naruto speaking before he could make up his mind. "You look like shit, Kakashi. Are you actually sick?" Kakashi couldn't hold back the laughter that spilled from his lips, it seemed so trivial now. Hunching slightly forward to rest his elbow on his knees and press his head into his hands, Kakashi replied, "No, I'm not sick. Not in the literal sense anyways. You know that emptiness you said you could feel in your chest? It gets heavier with time… Until you arrived here and reached out to me in the middle of the night, I hadn't had a proper night sleep in years. Your presence and chakra shrouding me finally stilled the aching in my chest… years of emptiness felt like it was repaired in a matter of minutes… I really was hopeful that it would get easier. That the dreams would eventually stop and that the empty ache in my chest would go away…" A turn of silence passed between them, the wall Kakashi had built up in his mind crumbling under Naruto's outpouring of emotions. Kakashi cringed at the overwhelming rush of sadness and regret pouring into him from Naruto, shutting his eyes tight and whispering, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Naruto. Please don't be sad. I did this to myself. None of this is your fault. I don't deserve your pity or sympathy."