Preface

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at /works/31616621.

by WhyAreYouRunning!

As Above as it is Below

"And that's him, see? Forming the legs there." He said pointing upwards at the two stars.

"Sort of a stubby bug by the looks of things." She responded, giving a slight chuckle.

"Maybe," he said, "but then again he covers such a large chunk of the sky. He's quite literally millions of kilometers long."

"Proportions scale up, he's still stubby."

"Those are just his kneecaps, the legs stretch downwards farther."

"Then they should have added more stars than. I mean look at em' all, it's not like we're running out." She said extending her hands out and exaggerating to the vastness of space.

Quirrel gave a soft laugh and smiled. That alone was worth the long trek up here.

"He's Orion, the hunter, the slayer of all beasts. Except scorpions."

"Scorpions?"

"Yep, in almost every rendition of his story, he meets his end at the hands of a scorpion. I suppose his bronze club just wasn't up to par."

"Well sure, the bronze club was his first problem. I mean the logistics alone..." She trailed off.

"After his death he was placed among the stars. As was the scorpion who, when Orion descends over the horizon, Scorpio rises and chases him."

"Ha!" She laughed, "ahh, what a life to live. But then again he's dead. Sort of weird to toss a corpse up there like that, it just seems rude at the very least. What'd he do to deserve it?"

"Depends on who you ask, some say he was killed by Artemis for trying to rape Merope while others simply fell him by his own arrogance."

She quite liked the stories of the other gods. Those who lived on Mount Olympus and their debauchery. It made her feel a bit better about the gods she lived with, if only a little.

But tonight her mind was not on the ventures of gods nor even of the hunter. Instead, she simply took in the sight. The Crystal Peaks reached up far higher than she had anticipated, but it did exemplify the night sky all the better. It was vast and took up just about everything. It was beautiful, really it was, but it felt off.

It was foreboding. It was huge and all-encompassing. It seemed to fill her with dread. She was quite thankful to be lying down and even more thankful to be next to Quirrel. He nudged her head over to touch his waist.

His attention had returned to her, with those same caring eyes she loved so dear. But he had that face, the one she knew too well, the inquisitive one.

"Hey, no, no we talked about this…" She started bringing her head up to glare at him.

"Come on indulge me. It's good for you. You owe me anyway." He said back, unflinching under her gaze.

"Was lugging myself all the way up here not enough?" She said with almost a sort of plea.

"Might I remind you of your assurance on my last visit to the white castle?"

"Ughhh." She was, unfortunately, in debt after the last incident. In which they both found themselves in the white castle for a secret meeting. And where she quite confidently said that no one would check let alone her brother.

But then watching him try to explain what Hollow's sister and Monomon's assistant were doing mostly naked in a back bedroom was worth the price. It's quite lucky her brother was not so prolific in anatomy, let alone reproduction practices.

"Dammit, gonna find whoever created sociology and…" She grumbled, bringing her hands to her face and pulling down in a sort of stretch, "and, and, scold him thoroughly. Amidst other things."

Quirrel chuckled and readjusted his position, now sitting facing Hornet. "So, the lights, the stars, the night sky. How do they make you feel?"

The thought made sense, even for which was not often gained when in a discussion with him. It's fitting for one who has lived and seen nothing but the tunnels under the earth would see that which reins above it as well. The scholar inside him simply couldn't sit still without databasing these experiences.

She laid her head down and readjusted her back against the blanket. Bringing her full attention to the sky again. The blanket of stars loomed over her. It was so bright and full of life yet devoid of anything. All-encompassing darkness.

She glanced back over at Quirrel who waited patiently. She gave a long sigh again, loud enough for Quirrel to hear, so he understood her irritation. She hated opening up and hated being honest about it even more.

"I feel…" She thought hard about what to say next. This needed a little context first. "The sky is so dark. Foreboding, even. I… It… I never really thought about the darkness underground. It's cold… It sucks everything in and covers every corner. I thought it existed, as it is, so that the outside might be brighter." She paused for a second. Staring up at the vast amounts of little dots lining the sky. "It is, if you sort of glaze over it. But just under the surface is just more darkness."

Quirrel gave a slow nod but said nothing. His face was devoid of emotion, instead, he was dead focused on every word she said.

"It's as above as it is below. Maybe… I was placed amongst the earth as the hunter was placed in the sky. It makes me think I should feel big, powerful, the future queen of Deepnest…"

"...But instead I feel very, very small." The last words came out no louder than a whisper. Quirrel still sat there, unmoving but at full attention. There was still more.

There was always more, boiling just under the surface.

She sighed again, much quieter this time. It had to come out now, there was no stopping it.

"I feel small and…" She continued, "...I feel trapped."

"I feel like nothing will ever change, like the stars. They'll be here tomorrow and the next day and long after all of us are gone, locked away forever in the sky. And I'll be here, forever locked away beneath the earth." She finished.

They said nothing for a time. Staring up at the night sky. She hated these psychiatric sessions they'd do but she had to admit if only to herself, it made her feel better. The sky didn't seem as foreboding anymore, just a sea of lights above her.

She sat up slowly, "I think that's everything."

"Hmm." He said, seeming to still be processing and properly filing her message. After a moment he raised his arm behind her and placed his hand over her shoulder, gesturing to her to lay her head on his shoulder which she accepted. He leaned his head down on hers and for another moment they sat in silence, content in each other's company.

"You know I'll always be here for you, no matter what." He said, planting a kiss on her forehead. It was a show of passion and an invitation to elaborate.

She could have sat there forever, perhaps even till the stars went out, she didn't want to move. She didn't want anything to move, but they had to, she had to.

"The dates coming up, you know." She said, her voice quiet as could be so maybe she wouldn't have to hear it as well.

"Hmm," Quirrel replied, unmoving.

"My… Herra told me just a few days ago they found a suiter… For me."

Quirrel made no noise this time.

She could feel her breath start to shake, "It's a few hundred year long tradition. That when they put her to sleep there will be someone to look after me. In a few days, I'll be married off to…" The words caught in her throat. She couldn't even remember his name.

"I just don't want this to end." Tears teetered at the edge of her vision, she quickly brought her hand up to end such nonsense and with that movement the intent to break Quirrel's grip. Instead, she found the arm clamp down harder, keeping her close.

"What part of 'I'll always be here for you' did I not get across?" He said with a smile, seemingly unfazed by the news. "A bunch of uptight spider princes has never stopped me before. Remember the time I visited 'on important business and we were in the garden then that group came up to us, remember we had an altercation…" He started.

"... And you got sucker-punched so hard in the chest you threw up." She laughed. The air became a little less thick and the tears subsided back behind her eyes.

It was short-lived as the weight of the world fell over them once more. "No, but this can't, can't go on. Quirrel I… How would we…"

"Hornet, do you love me?" Quirrel asked.

Hornet fumbled for a second, taken aback by the question. He didn't seriously think? "Quirrel of course I do. I would never…" She began.

"Then trust me when I say we'll make it work, we'll figure something out, I promise." The words were so genuine, she felt the tears return with vengeance.

It was so hard putting up with everyone, all the time. Acting like someone you're not and having everyone around you pretend to care. It was so tiring. Quirrel was her rock, possibly the only person to whom she could open up to and just be herself.

"I just wish… I wish we could just leave this place. Between marriage and the plague. I feel like everything is coming apart, and I'm afraid I'll lose everything." She was pretty good at holding in her emotions, but now she could barely hold herself together.

"Then why don't we?" He asked.

"What?"

"Then why don't we leave? Head up past the howling cliffs and into the world?"

The idea had always been in the back of her mind. It had been for years. Does he think I never thought of that? He just didn't understand.

"Quirrel, you know we can't and you know why we can't. I'm the future queen of Deepnest and your chief advisor of the archives. We can't just abandon all these bugs, leave them to their fate." She said, anger rising in her voice slightly. How could he think of that after all the sacrifice for the plan?

Quirrel went quiet for a little, staring off, before answering.

"Hollownest is doomed."

Once more she was quite caught off guard by a comment.

"The plan is doomed, it's been doomed from the start." He paused. "It's not a problem with our science or our math, no they're spot on, the problem is with the vessel. It's not emotionless, it has feelings, it can't contain the Radiance." He pulled his arm off of Hornet and placed them on his knees. Sadness washed over his face.

"Monomon and I discussed it, it was the last conversation I had with her before they put her in. We told the citizens, the nobles, and even the Pale King himself. No one will listen." He let out a sigh. "It's too late to listen anyways."

"She was like a mother to me, you know." He went on. "And it's shaken me up something fierce. But you know what, I know for a fact the last thing she'd want me to do is throw my life away trying to save a sinking ship."

She was at a loss for words. It all made sense but she didn't want to believe it. She had never liked Hollownest but it was still her home. To think it was doomed just seemed crazy, and abandoning it seemed even crazier.

But then she'd never liked many of the bugs here and even fewer liked her. She'd been toted around as a diplomatic weapon, and forced into a life she knew she didn't want, and into a marriage to someone she didn't love.

Maybe they could leave.

"Do you think… Do you think we could make it?" She asked.

"I know we can." He replied. "In 4 days' time I'll pay off the quarantine guards again and I'll wait for you at the back end of the cliffs."

She didn't have anything to say to that. Nothing but a soft smile. She had a lot to think about. Perhaps on what the ethics of such a move would entail, or maybe what to pack. The world seemed to creek open before her, but she was afraid to push it all the way.

But now wasn't the time for that. She could deal with that when the time came. For now, she laid back down, Quirrel following suit next to her. The sky was a huge mass of flickering lights and endless void. It seemed far more looming but far less threatening.

And it was beautiful,

End Notes

This was a relatively short fic I wrote in 2 days. I've been on a pretty long hiatus from writing, I just got so bogged down from college and work. But for some reason I was struck with inspiration and vigorously typed this out. Hopefully I'll post a little more consistently after this. I have one more story left in this collection and another Hollow Knight fic based around Quirrel/Ghost, I also have a Night in the Woods fic I haven't updated in months I need to get back to. Anyway, thank you for reading! If you enjoyed the fic please leave a comment I love getting feedback from people!

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