A Kingly Endeavour

Rated: R for Ranni's rampage

Discaimer: Elden Ring belongs to Fromsoft and Fate/ franchise to TypeMoon

It was not every day when one, especially his kingly self, was rudely wrestled from the Fujuki Church by a mysterious interference reminiscent to the Grail that had attempted to taint his magnificent personage, which was unforgivable. Completely naked as the day he was born, the King of heroes was whisked to an unfamiliar place. The sheer gall of this being was enough for Gilgamesh to grow into frothing rage and draw Ea, the Sword of Rupture, from his treasury, alas the King of Humanity found that the feat was simply not possible. It was serious enough to use Sha Nagba Imuru in an attempt to discern his assailant and what had happened to his weapons.

It was gone.

All of his noble phantasms, his treasures- everything had been as if erased by this malevolent being who had conjured him to this prison. He would crush, eviscerate, obliterate or simply destroy the being who had done such a grievous insult to himself. After all one did not steal from the King. Stealing a single lowly noble phantasm from his gate would consign a soul to oblivion, theft of his entire treasury ensured the offending parties oblivion.

So, the King swore, and the King's word was law.

He was deposited in some ghastly tomb, surrounded by mold and corpses covered in white bedding as a shrine of robed woman looked down upon him. Against a wall lied a maiden, different from the rest of the corpses, already departed from the mortal coil. In her hands was clutched a note stained with blood.

"Though the path be uncertain and broken, claim your place as the Elden Lord!" the message proclaimed, Gilgamesh knew not what was such a title, however in her hand rested something more- a wizened finger.

"What a strange place I find myself in" he scoffed and turned to the closed door before him, not sparing a look at the dead woman "A jape in poor taste, offering a dead finger. It seems that whoever did this to me is intent on making the King suffer humiliation on every turn"

Opening the door, his sight was that of night and golden leaves that filled the night sky. In front of the Lynchpin of Heaven, across distance incalculable, laid a glorious castle that though did not compare to wonders of Uruk and his kingdom, was a riveting sight for the demigod. However, there was one thing that made his blood boil and eyes gaze with hatred was the sheer divinity oozing from the Golden tree towering like the tower of Bab-ilim. There was no question of wherein dwelt the fatherless cur that had brought him so low. Clenching his fist, Gilgamesh resolved that the whoever this god was, it would face the same fate as Humbaba or Bull of Heaven.

Still frothing with rage at these indignities, the King of Heroes found the quintessential weapon that humanity had used aside from their fists. It was a far cry for any of his treasures, however Gilgamesh decided that this humble cudgel would serve him well until he got his hands on a more suitable weapon, which he doubted.

Truly the humiliation he had to go through was beyond compare. Only his failure to attain immortality had scoured the Sumerian King's soul before, but this hatred was enough for the golden-haired man to fully devote himself on his path of warpath. There would be no theatrics, no grandiloquent taunts for the mongrels that inhabited this garden of weeds. Even if it was not his garden- a land beyond his own, Gilgamesh promised himself that he would scour the entirety of it until he reached this wretch that had subjected him to…this!]

Past the rickety rope bridge, he entered a small plateau which was overlooked by statue of a woman of middling beauty, her arms stretched out while a sign of three rings loomed behind her. He narrowed his eyes as this woman reminded him of a certain goddess and there was no coincidences. Should it be that she was an accomplice, the blonde demigod would wreak havoc on her body until she reversed her theft and cried for mercy that would never come. Scoffing the demigod took a step forward and was rewarded with his first victim that announced its arrival arrogantly and with undeserved pomp from behind the statue a grotesque monstrosity reared its misbegotten head.

Whatever pit had spawned such an abomination required swift obliteration and oblivion as its design was a mockery of the perfect human and if there was one thing that could not be forgiven in Gilgamesh's view, it was this disregard for natures design, this pretence to be more than they already were.

It once may have been a child, but now what Gilgamesh faced was a horror of mismatching limbs grafted together, holding itself barely together by uneven, sloppy grafting of limbs. As if the demented sculptor had gotten inspiration from grafting branches of trees and then completely disregarded the process.

With a roar and rising two gilded swords, the beast launched itself at the King of Heroes.

"This world truly never ceases to amaze me at the filth that assails my way" the blonde demigod snarled and ducked out of the blade's way. It had been long since he had fought without his treasury, his law and greatest weapon. Yet he had not been an idle, helpless princeling before his ascension to the throne. He spied that the wrist holding the nearest blade, was no wrist at all, instead a myriad of hands was clumped together as clay and such creation could be nothing else, but brittle.

Swinging the King of Uruk was satisfied as bone and rotten meat shattered before his strike alongside with the club that had been his initial weapon. Throwing what remained of the wooden weapon at the many armed monster, he dove under its second swing and managed to pick up the golden weapon as already other hands of the beast reached for the blade.

"Oh no, you cur" Gilgamesh sneered and cut at the limb, eliciting a stunning scream from the creature's bowels. Yet he was a man who had faced far dangerous threats and had prevailed against them "You will suffer far more for daring to attack my royal person"

His next strike was aimed at the horribly made legs. It screeched horribly as with superhuman strength, the naked man cut through the bone as if it was butter. Stumbling the grafted assailant attempted with all its supernatural might to pin its prey to the ground and was rewarded with another severed limb.

At first an enemy with too many arms was a novelty which he hadn't fought in a quite the while, however, when the mutilated creature failed to show his promise, all that the King of Heroes could do was to end this useless excuse of a battle.

"I had hoped that there would be at least a rudimentary exercise" the golden demigod sighed, frown gracing his pursed lips "Yet this clumsy dance must come to an end"

Then he dodged another stab and when he was about to offer his own blade to return the insult, the misshapen cur brought forth his golden shield. How innovative, yet it was not enough. Dashing from the creature's shield hand towards the one wielding the remaining golden sword, Gilgamesh stopped himself momentarily, waiting for the sword to come sailing at him. Clicking his tongue, the 2/3rds god swung his sword, parrying his opponent and used his free arm grasped the disgusting sword arm.

"Enjoy oblivion and do not taint me with your presence, filth!" He thrust the blade in the hooded head and the creature attempted one last, desperate roar, to stop the ancient hero.

The corpse fell on the ground and with little hesitation, the displaced monarch and heroic spirit wasted no time to procure its armaments and now armed with twin swords, the shield would just encumber him more in the long run, without armour to protect the blows sent his way.

To his mild surprise, whoever had created the blades the grafted used were of a high quality make. He felt faint traces of magic coming from them, even if it was called differently in this world. Blades remained ever sharp and for a crude tool it would suffice. Now Gilgamesh had to find his way towards the looming castle and then make his way over to the golden tree in the distance. Had the wretched being allowed him to possess his gate, then this journey would be a short one as Ea was rather destructive, when roused.

As the golden demigod walked through the ark, right of the statue, he was greeted with a sight that did little to improve his mood as no certain way was found down the mountain on which this monastery, he supposed, was perched upon. Yet as he trod upon the stones closer to the ledge, the treacherous objects gave way beneath his feet and the King of Heroes tumbled into the chasm, roaring with anger, which a certain woman thought sounded quite similar to words "Mongrel".

Nevertheless, the blonde had survived his fall and found himself laying on the dirt, some sort of coarse fabric draped over his body as faint traces of prana and energies of life emanated in front of him. Opening his crimson eyes, Gilgamesh was greeted with two golden bottles laying by his body alongside the swords pillaged from the monstrosity he did not wish to recall.

With a groan the Sumer hero rose from the floor and wrinkled his nose at the cloak that had been used to cover him. It did not suit him and frankly it insulted the King! He would wear only the finest garments that would be offered to him and in the direst moments try his hand at crafting his own, being certain that those of his make would be far superior to what a commoner would create.

At least whoever had crafted this world had created aesthetic that was thematically fitting and concise. Had he not been kidnapped, Gilgamesh would have commended the architects and gods of this world that had shaped it so. It was highly likely that his beloved Artoria would enjoy a world crafted in her ideas of the age when she had lived. Perhaps she would appreciate it if he would give this world to her. No, the King shook his head as he stepped onto the elevator's pressure plate, his foolish King of Knights would never accept such wedding gift, she was so attached to her little island. It truly would not deserve such a flower as its Queen.

It was not long before his eyes gazed on the lands that had become his temporary prison. Verdant plains littered with ruins and slabs of stone dotted the landscape and painfully the golden haired man had become aware that a calamitous war was being fought and the King of Uruk had missed it. Now facing the victors and remnants of whatever these mongrels had fought for.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a small golden portal by a smaller edge as someone in a white mask looked as if waiting for someone. He slowly approached this person and tried to sense his noble phantasms. Yet there was nothing.

"Oh yes... Tarnished, are we? Come to the Lands Between for the Elden Ring, hmm?" the White mask addressed him and it was most unwise as the crimson eyed man's patience had ran dry, to say the least. Looking up from the golden portal that was not his gate of Babylon, Gilgamesh straightened out and raised one immaculate golden eyebrow at the man. If this was a poorly made imitation of Kirei, so help him Anu.

"Who are you calling tarnished, mongrel?" he snarled, but in the return received an amused chuckle that indicated that this man was going to die, immediately and in pain which would only increase if he kept talking more and more.

"There's no shame in it." The white porcelain's expression was unreadable, but it seemed that fortune had abandoned this mad fool "Unfortunately for you, however, you are maidenless."

It was never said that Gilgamesh possessed tolerance for nonsense and as Varre, the Adherent of Lord of Blood found out when it turned violent as the naked blonde man smashed his mask in with a single punch and through the spilt blood from the shards of porcelain cutting his face, the cultist tried to fight back, but his hands were pinned to the ground by Grafted Scion's ornamental blades of all things.

This was no mere Tarnished, who was that monster?!

"Enlighten me of this world , mongrel" Gilgamesh cleaned his bloody knuckles on Varre's robes "and your death will be quicker than the punishment for slandering a King"

A.N: Elden Ring got its hooks in me and that's about it, love the game even if it's as buggy as Skyrim. I know about Hellsing and Zuko, Malekith's stories and those are right now on the backburner for various reasons. Have a nice day.

-Spook