Session
An NCIS oneshot
by mew-tsubaki
Note: The NCIS characters belong to Donald P. Bellasario, not to me. Can't let a chance for Parker to fret about his feelings go. ;P Read, review, and enjoy! *Note: Set any time after s19e18, "Last Dance," with only vague spoilers for that; also vague spoilers for s19e21, "Birds of a Feather."
- ^-^3
"So kind of you to join me, Special Agent Parker," Dr. Confalone said as she shut the door behind him and he took in the sight of her office. She gestured to the couch, smiled when he took an extra second before choosing to sit, and settled across from him in her upholstered chair.
Parker leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, and threw his hands up partway, letting the motion reach his left shoulder in something of a shrug. "Ah, yeah… Sorry, Doc. All the reschedules were because of cases—"
Dr. Confalone raised her eyebrows. But instead of pushing him on the issue, she commented, "Nope, I understand. You're not the first cop I've had in here, let alone the first tough cookie—probably not the hardest, either." She grinned; clearly the addition had been for her own amusement. "But I promise to go easy on you, Agent Parker. This is just a mandatory psych eval. Then you can get right back to those cases."
Parker pursed his lips. Suddenly, he was reminded of last fall, of being in Interrogation, sitting across from McGee before he'd had to out himself as an FBI agent. "…all right. Do your worst."
The petite doctor grabbed a pad of lined paper and a pen from the table beside her, that grin never leaving her face as she flipped to a clean sheet. "'Do your worst'—is that how you see therapy and psychological evaluation, Agent Parker?"
He huffed and leaned back on the couch. "No. Evals are a fantastic tool for law enforcement. For armed forces, too. Gotta keep the bad ones from having access to weapons and doing bad things—from creating cases for NCIS and other agencies."
Dr. Confalone nodded. She folded her hands atop her blank notes, though, and peered at him. "That's just the evals, though. What about therapy?"
Parker scratched at the scruff along his jaw. "…it helps, for some people. Doesn't work for all. It makes people talk."
"Well, true, on all accounts. But I like to view it as problem-solving, too."
He frowned. He knew that tone of voice. He came from a big enough family; he couldn't grow up without hearing the implied question there. But he had no problems to solve that weren't tied to cases, and he didn't need her expert opinion on those, so he kept his mouth shut.
Dr. Confalone likely sensed him putting his guard up and dropped her eyes to her pad for a second. "But, as I said before, this is just a mandatory psych eval. So let's stick to that."
Parker nodded, less tense this time when she picked up her pen.
"And? How are you fitting in? Switching from the FBI to NCIS…"
"That was practically a no-brainer." He ran a hand over the back of his head. "With Gibbs and LeMere, the FBI wasn't gonna hear any excuse I offered." He snorted. "I rather think someone was looking for a reason to fire me."
"Oh?"
"Yeah, I'm, ah, not everyone's favorite person over there. I was there long enough, I have my connections, but I burned quite a few bridges at the same time." He shrugged. When he glimpsed her suppressing a smirk, he internally sighed. "What?"
Dr. Confalone shook her head. "I try to develop my own impression of people, but you'll have to excuse me this time. It's not just your current team but Tobias, as well, who told me a little about you. And he had nothing but glowing things to say, Agent Parker."
"That's because Fornell's one bridge I haven't burned."
She nodded again and noted that. "Well, since I brought them up—what about your team? How's everything going with McGee, Torres, and Knight?"
Parker folded his arms comfortably in front of his chest and tilted his head a bit to the right as he considered them in turn. "They're a solid team. They've got the know-how. McGee and Torres already have years between them, which I think helps form the base bond, although—" He chuckled, briefly, to himself. "Knight's got a knack for fitting in anywhere, I think. She doesn't seem as if she joined them not long before I did."
"You call them a solid team. You don't consider yourself part of it yet?"
"Ah—" He bit back a second sigh. This felt a little like Vance's prodding, but it made more sense now, given how much more time Parker had had with the trio. "No. I do. I think I do." He unfolded his arms to wave dismissively. "It's just the biggest change in all of this for me."
Dr. Confalone narrowed her eyes. "Being a team leader?"
"Being part of any team. I had partners, on and off, during my tenure at the FBI. But the air there's a little more…self-motivated."
"How do you mean?"
Finally, Parker heaved a sigh, letting his shoulders sink as he thought of countless times interacting not only with his team but even Kasie, Jimmy, and Vance. "Everyone at NCIS is quite insistent on you feeling like family. Even if you're someone for whom 'family' is a four-letter word."
She raised her eyebrows. "Ah. Well, NCIS has been through a lot over the years, but it's true that agencies differ from one another. Still, it can't be all bad, can it? At least you haven't had family involved in a case."
"Yet," Parker said. "Considering I joined on a personal case—for the team, with Gibbs—it's felt a little bit like bad luck in recent weeks." He furrowed his brow and rested his right hand on his knee, pinching the steamed crease in the fabric. "Most recently, Torres' undercover work coming back to bite him in the ass. Vance's daughter, Kayla, getting taken on our watch. Jimmy and Kasie nearly losing their lives because of some nutjob with access to a biological weapon." He stopped short, though he had more on his list.
"And?" the doctor prompted.
He debated going back further, to months ago when McGee's mother-in-law had been the last to see a victim alive…but he had said "in recent weeks." Parker grimaced. "Even me," he admitted as unpleasant memories came to mind. "My best friend's nephew was one of our victims. It's not as though I've kept away from Billy, but it'd been a while since I'd last seen him."
"Not the ideal conditions to cross paths," Dr. Confalone summed up, unable to resist pulling a face of her own.
"Definitely not."
For a minute, the scratching of her pen on paper filled the quiet room. Then she put the writing implement back down. "Has the stress of these personal cases caused you to maintain your stress in ways you don't normally lean on?"
Parker locked eyes with her. Then he shook his head. "No. All things—legal—in moderation." He dragged his hand over his face. "Besides, much of the time if I'm not at the office, I'm catching Zs at home or I'm with my family."
Her eyes widened…likely because he'd just a few minutes ago called "family" a curse word. "Family? Family can be good, Agent Parker."
"Eh, yeah, well, too much time spent with my siblings and their families or my father will have even you reaching for a bottle of aspirin or an extra doughnut, Doc."
Dr. Confalone made another note, but she smirked at his remark. "Hey, that's a good way to handle things, Agent Parker."
He pulled a face, and he waited until he caught her eye before starting, "As for handling things poorly…"
"Nice try, but we're not here to talk about Nick. You and Director Vance get weekly updates from me already. But thank you for being amenable to letting him come into the office late on Mondays."
Parker shrugged it off. "The guy's had a rough year. I've seen that with friends and coworkers before. Family, too. Hell, been there myself."
Dr. Confalone paused and pushed her glasses up into her hair. She rubbed her eyes. "You know, Agent Parker, you're giving me a little whiplash. You're huffy, obviously not thrilled at having to be here and answer my questions. But you're also relieved that Nick comes to see me." She rested one wrist across the other, casual, and cocked her ahead at him, as if asking, "What gives?"
"Hey, given the trouble this team gets into, it's not just him. Kasie and Jimmy, too." He paused, recalling several times a certain someone had leaned on him to open up—if not to her, then to Dr. Confalone. "…Knight, as well."
"Hmm." Dr. Confalone glanced at her notes. "So is this what a team is to you? Everyone else can ask for help, but you're the Teflon Man? Nothing scratches, nothing sticks," she added with that entertained smile of hers just in case Parker missed her meaning.
Parker narrowed his eyes at her. "I'm in good shape," he replied instead. "If they're not, that's a problem. And you implied you're a problem-solver."
This time, she laughed. "Touché, Agent Parker." She wrote, then scribbled, then crossed out something on her pad. "So it means a lot to you that they're in good shape, too."
"Of course it does. My feelings about the 'team' label aside, I can and do rely on them." He held up his hand, ticking off his fingers as he went. "Vance is craftier than I originally gave him credit for, but he's solid when it comes to cutting through the red tape; I didn't really have that with my higher-ups at the FBI. The bulk of our physical evidence comes from Kasie and Jimmy, who've even risked their lives at times because of work. McGee's—well, he's more of a whiz with the IT stuff than I am, but only because he stays completely in the loop with current stuff. Makes me feel the need to catch up," Parker added with a snicker. "And Torres has his temper issues, but he's scrappy and relentless. He's a damn good investigator when his head's in the right place."
Dr. Confalone smiled while he came up with his list, and the motion reached her eyes. She noted a few more things and then asked, "And Knight?"
Parker blinked. "What about her?"
"You left her off your list."
The good doctor really never missed a detail… But while Parker had plenty of good things to say about Knight, she was the only one whose character he felt unwilling to describe for Dr. Confalone. And he knew why. So what could he share that wouldn't give him away?
That he felt most reassured when it was Knight watching his six out in the field?
That her stubbornness to get to know him actually made it easiest to get along with her, even though he'd only shown her bits and pieces of himself?
That he appreciated her concern and interest in him…both of which he returned, for Knight herself?
Luckily, this all hit him at once, so he didn't hesitate long before coming up with an answer to satisfy Dr. Confalone's curiosity. "She—She's a hell of an agent, a quick thinker with a wide range of skills, and she's made it easier for me to fit in at NCIS." A humorous notion elicited a scoff-chuckle from him. "Kinda like the most recent new kid invites the actual new kid to the lunch table."
Dr. Confalone smiled at the idea and made a note. "Sounds as though you're part of the team more than you thought."
"Yeah, maybe…"
After that, her questions felt a tad more regimented, less to answer her own questions about the current makeup of the MCRT and more to get Parker through his eval. Questions about his sleeping patterns and how he controlled his anger were apparent, and he wasn't that surprised by the dry look Dr. Confalone gave him when he let slip how he'd kicked a dent in his desk during Sean Doyle's case amidst frustration. On the bright side, though, when she asked about his family and ex-wife, she didn't prod him much about Vivian.
"Especially because, if you need to know about her, bring up her personnel file on your own time," Parker griped with a glance at his watch.
"I will keep that in mind," she said, writing his suggestion down. Dr. Confalone wrote a few more lines before setting her things aside and getting to her feet. "You realize you don't have to keep peeking at the time, Agent Parker? I'm well aware our appointment's just about over."
Parker winced and stood. "My bad. It's just…"
She chuckled on her way to her office door, stopping with her hand resting on the handle, not yet opening it. "Something else on your mind?"
He fidgeted, put his hands in his pockets, and took them out to smooth his blazer. Parker also twisted his lips around. "Honestly?"
"That's why they pay me the big bucks."
"Ha, yeah…" Parker tipped his head to her. "I just wanted a second to give you a proper apology about before and the whole 'It's a date' comment." Good grief, even the memory of it made him grimace…! He thought he felt a headache coming on, too, and he rubbed above his right eyebrow.
Thankfully, she wasn't as creeped out this time, simply giving him a curt nod. "Apology accepted." Dr. Confalone paused, peering at him as Parker exhaled a visible sigh of relief and joined her by the door. "…you know, sometimes people say things they claim they don't mean, but it's actually more revealing than they realize." She raised her eyebrows as she looked up at him. "Do you have someone you go home to at the end of the day, Agent Parker?"
He snorted but managed not to roll his eyes. "No. Not in a long time."
"But you have someone you care about."
Knight's bright smile flashed in his mind's eye—another of a hundred things he hadn't shared about her during today's appointment and didn't plan to in the future.
His hesitation lasted long enough for Dr. Confalone to catch the scent, though, and her smile was small and eerily knowing now. "…someone…who perhaps was in the room at the time you slipped up," she guessed correctly.
Parker cleared his throat in discomfort.
She nodded one final time, that smile not fading as she cracked open the door for him to leave. "Well, that's none of my business. It only becomes my business if something troubles you, Agent Parker, or if something begins to affect your work. My door's always open—" She even gestured physically to the door as he headed out.
"Yeah, I know, I know."
"—and I wish you luck."
Her parting words had Parker doing a double-take, stopping him in his tracks right before Dr. Confalone closed the door behind him. The latch clicked…but it wasn't with finality. The sound oddly enough gave him some hope. It was nice, really, having a little encouragement, since he lacked confidence about what lay ahead for him and Knight.
On the way to his car outside, Parker's cellphone rang. He pulled it from his pocket—and shook his head, not fighting a smile this time. Perhaps it was a sign to have a little confidence, too, if the mere thought summoned her…
"Yeah, Knight. I'm on my way in. Mm? It went well. Dr. Grace isn't too shabby. No, just an eval, so I'm all set on that front. …no, I don't have much on my mind…but if I did, I can think of another ear that's been offered to me…."
- ^-^3
:3 So! Here is another story that I had planned on writing ages ago, after e18 aired, but then I got to thinking that, depending on what I wanted to include and where it coincided with what canon would be revealed in the s19 finale, I could hold off on writing this. In the end, it feels a little silly now, since I mostly used my own hcs here and just sprinkled in some vague finale details. ;P But this was fun to write! Dr. Grace's way of wheedling info from people is v conversational, so Parker has to be on his toes so as to avoid the pitfalls. -w- This was also interesting to write after rereading my oneshot, "close, closer, closest," since that ending almost feels like a setup for this, altho these stories are not necessarily related (but could be read that way, idm). I just dig the chemistry Parknight have, and the way Parker struggles to get close to people easily could mean he hesitates to start a new relationship, IMO, so him ending here with some pep in his step (not only bc Dr. Grace is rooting for them, *LOL*, but also bc Knight called him right after to check in with him c:) just puts a smile on my face. I want to see Parker, Knight, and Parknight happy…! ;w; AHHHH. Sry. I love them so much. Altho I'm guessing that's p obvious as I close in on two dozen fics for them, in addition to a sideblog and a bunch of fanart for the, too. And now—onto the next story! :D
Thanks for reading, and please review! Check out my other NCIS fics if you liked this. And, as with my other NCIS fics, show your support via tumblr with a reblog~
-mew-tsubaki :3c