A few years back, I started writing a Chosen Swap AU with Lloyd and Colette's roles switched. I hope to continue more with it someday. There's also more of this AU posted on my AO3 page if you're interested!
Cover art is by frayed-symphony on tumblr.
On one of Lloyd's past birthdays – fourteen to be exact – Colette had seemed surprised that he was getting her a present instead.
"But, it's your birthday! I should be getting you something…" Although she couldn't take her eyes off the little carving of a doggy figure he was just finishing up. They were far from the Church, far from Colette's house even, in a part of Iselia's forests where few others would stumble upon them. At least not yet.
"Hm, I don't really care about my birthday that much," he said once, and maybe that had already been too much. But just then, he had just finished his gift, remembering what the dwarf had taught him when the pastors weren't paying attention. "And it's more fun making stuff for you!"
He would never forget the way Colette's eyes lighted up. How happy she seemed to be at one of his first attempts at crafting. But as long as Dirk kept visiting the church, and as long as Colette kept being his friend, he wanted to give her even more.
In the distance, they heard some voices call out to Lloyd. Although not by his name.
"Ah, I'm sorry," Colette said then. "I hope I don't get you in trouble." She held the doggy statue safely in her palms.
Chosen, Chosen One the wind kept repeating. Lloyd shook it away.
He took her hand then, the one free of the statue, and smiled. "Hey, if you want to get me a present, you should take me exploring! I don't think we've done much of it lately."
Colette had smiled too, gripping the boy's hand tight. Once they rushed away from the voices, Lloyd had sometimes imagined that they were both running away from those voices forever…
"Chosen! Chosen One!"
Lloyd had been trying to work on the necklace for the past three weeks, but there was always something interrupting him. The knock on his door, along with the insistent calling, was just another one of those.
He instantly put away his tools and the nearly finished necklace in a small tin box. Doing it fast enough while also not scratching up the jewelry proved to be a bit challenging, and he probably just made more noise that way. He could already hear the pastor grumbling outside his door. "J-just a minute!" he called out, going to a nearby cabinet.
"Chosen, this is the fourth time this week you have been late for your lessons. Punctuality is highly important-"
"Yeah, yeah, no problem!" Lloyd was trying to fasten up his outfit. It always felt so stiff and hard to move around in, but just getting away with the shirt and pants he slept in never cut it. (He tried). Once everything was set, he finally opened the door, totally not looking like he had been up half the night working on his project. "Okay, I'm set!"
Even after a lifetime of being at the Church, he never knew how to talk to the pastors, always so proper and formal in their speech. The old man looked at Lloyd with a certain air of disapproval – just a little bit, for he was still to be the savior of their world after all. He inclined his head slightly to Lloyd, maybe too much. Lloyd thought the big hat he wore would fall off from the action, and even shifted a little to catch it if it did.
"You've been doing so well lately in your memorization of the scriptures, Chosen. It would be beneficial of you to simply focus on that than on other, less vital pursuits."
…Crap, did the old man already find out what he'd been doing? Lloyd shifted nervously on his feet, which probably didn't help his image. "I just overslept a little! Sleeping is pretty important!"
The pastor didn't argue, because it was frowned upon to argue with the Chosen. A little loophole that Lloyd had found out about when he was little, and may have used it to his advantage numerous times.
Well, until his dad got involved.
Lloyd pushed that thought aside and was more or less nudging the pastor away from his room's door to get going. "Anyway, uh, let's go! Got a lot of books to get through!" And man, was there a lot of books. He could read fast and well with all the years of book-reading he was forced to do. Not like he enjoyed it, but what else could he do?
"My, I must apologize then, Chosen. It is good to see you eager for a lesson!"
Lloyd put on a big smile until the pastor turned away to head for the stairs. Once unseen, he was back to frowning. The old man really was old and had not noticed Lloyd had long stopped following him. The Chosen watched him descend the steps, then leaned back against the wall, sighing so deeply it pulled at his chest.
Was there really a point in having more lessons?
As a Chosen, there wasn't much Lloyd was allowed to do, and there weren't many places he was allowed to go either. He was salvation itself, so he needed to be safe, and to stay safe, he needed to remain within the Church at nearly all times until he went to school. Going to school had always been something he'd look forward.
But as time passed, it was getting harder to enjoy much of anything.
Anything except the necklace, which he had been working on day and night – whenever the priests weren't paying attention. At the very least, he could leave something behind for her, hoping that was enough.
And… if he had to choose, he would rather go through all this than anyone else… He imagined briefly of another dealing with the role of Chosen and it only made the ache inside him worse.
It was better this way.
Down the stairs' corridor, he could hear the confused mutterings of the priest. He rolled his eyes and quickly followed after. Just something he would have to go through. Again.
…Still, these lessons dealt with way, way too many books.
Living at the Church did have some benefits though.
For one, it was right by the beach, which Lloyd had definitely snuck off to on more than one occasion. Colette had worried if it was okay for him to go, and Genis had worried he would trip against one of the rocks and crack his head open, thus ruining Sylvarant's one chance at salvation. But that had only nearly happened one time! Making highly detailed sand castles with Colette, and burying a napping Genis in the sand, were things he didn't ever want to trade away for just being safely cooped up in his room.
Another was that he got to see Dirk a whole lot.
Just after another mind-numbing book lesson, he made his way down to the atrium, the place more wide, the walls helping reverberate the sounds of his footsteps. He was glad to see the dwarf there, already setting up another work sculpture of Martel. Or maybe it was Mithos? Lloyd still had trouble telling the difference sometimes. He really, really tried to keep that fact hidden from his instructors. It had worked so far!
The dwarf turned to him, his bushy beard hiding half of his face, but not his grin. Hands were on both of his hips, eyes angled up at the boy that was slightly taller than him.
"Ah, Lloyd! Ya look ready to fall asleep on yer feet!"
"Ehehe… I'm fine! Really!" A tiny stumble against one of the pews but Lloyd more or less righted himself up. The dwarf merely shook his head.
"Well! I was just finished with my work. Need anything?"
Sometimes Lloyd wondered what made the dwarf come back here so much. He had been here ever since Lloyd was little, seen much more of him than of… Anyway, he was always traveling around so much, working on crafting commissions, sometimes even bringing back a souvenir he had bought on the road. Lloyd still had some of them; one of the famous Palma Potions from Palmacosta, some pottery from Triet, and even a cool-looking wooden figure of a swordsman! Dirk hadn't specified where he got that last one, making Lloyd think he had made it himself.
He had thought about asking him many times before. But the years kept passing, and the day for when he would leave was only getting closer. He figured there was really no point in asking now.
Instead, he reached into his pocket, pulling out the necklace he had poured everything into. He held it up for Dirk. "You think this looks any good?"
The dwarf placed a hand on his chin, mock-deep in thought. "Hm, I don't think that color works on ya."
"Not for me!"
Dirk laughed loudly, his voice bouncing across the walls of the Church. After so much stress on being quiet within these walls, the dwarf's laugh was welcome. He held out his hand. "Here, let me see."
Excited to show off his work, but also worried on being judged, Lloyd gave it to him quickly. "I, uh… kinda had to rush through it this morning. But I think I got the size right this time! And, I didn't waste the metal like you said and-"
"Hold on a bit, Lloyd."
"Right, sorry."
Dirk was holding up the necklace by its chain. The sunlight from the stained windows glinted off its pendant, a deep red jewel embedded in its center. After a brief look, the dwarf was grinning. "Really outdone yourself for this one." He gathered it back carefully in his palm. "The chain work is strong, and the pendant is much more even this time. Not completely! Still need some work on that." He handed it back to Lloyd. "She'll be very happy with it."
With Dirk's praise, Lloyd felt something lift off his shoulders. The weight of everything else was still there… but this one thing, it gave him some lightness.
He held the necklace in both his hands before putting it away. "Thanks!"
"Yer welcome, lad. But.. I gather you still have more on your mind?"
Man, was he this easy to read with everyone now? Lloyd shook his head. "Nah, not really. Just bored with the same things, like always."
"But your training should be giving ya some excitement." Dirk crossed his arms, finally resting his legs by seating on a nearby stool. "And ya still got that sword I gave ya? The one the priests said was lost?"
Lloyd scratched at his cheek, grinning. "Hey, I did lose it! But then I found it again. Who knew it was under my bed this whole time?"
Dirk grinned back, laughing into his beard. "A shame it was not before they asked me to make you another one to continue with your training. But I suppose it's good that you have a spare."
Lloyd nodded at that. "Yep! And, well, can't leave your other sword to waste. So it's only better to use both, right?"
Both Dirk's and Lloyd's plan for him to use dual blades should have been so see-through, but once Lloyd started training with his double weapons, the priests couldn't find much to argue with. The Chosen had to know how to defend himself, after all. And… his logic did make some sort of sense to them. Wouldn't two weapons be better than one?
The dwarf shook his head. "Mighty clever thinking there! I'm sure that will help on your journey."
The mention of the journey put a dark cloud in Lloyd's head suddenly. Right. In the end, that was the point of the swords anyway. To protect himself until…
"Also!" Dirk's voice broke through, and he watched as the dwarf reached around him towards a satchel, bringing it towards the front. "Got my latest commission done! And no worries. The Church will take care of the bill when they see it later." He handed the folded clothes to Lloyd.
His eyes widened in glee at the design. "You already made it! Nice!"
"Fitting for a master swordsman and a Chosen, right?" Dirk seemed pleased as well. "At the very least, these would help you move around better, and has a place for your swords."
Lloyd would have gone to hug the dwarf if he could – or if that wasn't a bit weird. "I'm definitely wearing these from now on!"
Even as Dirk looked very pleased, he stared at Lloyd with another expression, one that Lloyd couldn't place. "You've been doing a lot lately, lad. I hope you remember to rest in between all your work."
In all fairness, this was a first that he ever heard come from an adult. Usually there was always something do, another thing to learn… "Ah, I'm okay enough. Besides, I'm taking your advice on things!"
"Oh, that so?"
"Yep!" Lloyd nodded. He had his new clothes underneath one arm, standing proudly. "Dwarven vow #4! Don't depend on others. Walk on your own two legs." He then grinned, glad he could remember that right! He only knew a few of the vows Dirk had mentioned to him, but some like those stood out. "I'm taking that as my mortal from now on!"
Dirk raised a bushy eyebrow. "Think you mean motto there, lad."
"…Huh. That does make a lot more sense."
"I thought ya read a lot."
"I did! I do! Just, after a while of non-stop reading, all the words start to look the same…"
Still, the dwarf smiled. "Anyway… I'm glad you think my old sayings are of any interest. However, here's another for ya. Dwarven vow #7! Justice and love will always win!"
"…That doesn't sound as cool at all!"
It was easy to talk with Dirk, easier than most other adults. His dad sometimes just… well…
He saw the light in the sky in a nearby stained-glass window and flinched a little. "Oh, shoot. I gotta go. I'll wear these though!" He held up the clothes then made his way back to his room, waving back at the dwarf. "I'll see ya later!"
"Don't trip over the stairs again!" Dirk called out, his bellowing voice finding every nook and crevice in the room. The pastors would have hated such a sound, but Lloyd was ecstatic. At least for now.
"…Is that a new outfit?"
Lloyd had been waiting forever for someone to comment on it, and Genis was never one to disappoint. He put his hands on his hips, knowing the euphoria he felt would be brief but trying to take as much as he could. "Yeah! Special tailor-cut for me!"
Genis looked to his Chosen best friend with a curious air. And maybe some suspicion. "Huh. Suits you better. Even those weird suspenders you have seem to work."
"What do you mean weird?" Lloyd asked with a small frown.
"Nothing! I said they worked. I don't get those white strips on your collar but… they also work, too." Genis stared at Lloyd with more thought. "Yeah, this literally wouldn't look good on anyone else."
"Remind me to never come to you for compliments."
Even as the younger boy laughed, Lloyd was grateful for Genis' honesty. It was hard finding that in most people around him when they spoke with him. It was harder finding that in himself. He pulled at the, high collar in his new outfit, hoping someone else he knew would like it too. Or at least like it enough.
"You haven't been to school in a while," Genis hedged. Lloyd had just come back to Iselia as he walked from the Church, both of them meeting right by the schoolhouse. The day was already late, classes long over. Easier this way. Less people to speak with, less incredibly boring phrases to recite. "Chosen duties getting too much for you?"
It was meant as a joke. Lloyd didn't really have it in him to laugh along to it though. He pulled at his collar, feeling an anxiousness to him that he had been stemming down for so long, but was slowly beginning to rise the past few months. "Just things. It's nothing really."
When Lloyd was quiet like, his friends always noticed. Genis raised his head, noting the tone. "Sorry. That was stupid to say."
"It's fine. Really!" He grinned, glad that the collar of his new outfit could hide away some of the strain there. "There's been a lot of things lately anyway. I only had time now to even leave."
Genis stared a little, but gave Lloyd some relief when his young eyes lost some intensity. "Don't worry. I won't tell them you snuck out again."
"Heh… thanks."
"Anyway, I know you're not here to see me." It was then Genis grinned, much brighter than Lloyd's, much more hopeful than Lloyd could ever imagine to be. "Colette's been talking about you all day. I don't know how or when you got Noishe to deliver her a letter, but she was real happy about it."
Noishe was his father's dog first and foremost, but the creature always did him favors. And with Kratos having been gone for so long lately, it just made it easier.
"Shut up," Lloyd muttered jokingly, and Genis only laughed again, the awkwardness about his duty of being a Chosen momentarily forgotten.
He wished it could be forgotten completely.
When he was younger, Lloyd had always wanted to travel the world, to see what it had to offer. When he was younger, the Church told him that he would someday, and he had looked forward to it, excitement lighting up his mind.
But on his eighth birthday, all that excitement went away.
Lloyd sat on the outskirts of Iselia, the grass around him still a bright green, the sky darkening as the sun began to set. He had been there early – a first for him. But for Colette, he would go the extra mile.
He heard her trip over the ground before he even saw her.
"Ah, s-sorry! I messed up." He turned, finding Colette brushing away the grass stains from her dress, just a few feet away. Her blonde hair was a bit frazzled from her fall, but she still smiled.
Gloomy thoughts instantly went away at the sight of her.
"You're such a dork. You didn't need to rush here, you know." Still, he couldn't take his eyes off her as she sat next to him. She was always so cheerful and bright, and it made the world a little less scary to Lloyd when she was near him.
But it also made him feel bitter over the things he would miss as well.
"I know! Just, um.." Colette fiddled with her hands. "It's been really boring the last few weeks without you. I was so happy seeing Noishe show up to my house! Though I think my grandmother's sneezes might have scared him a little, sorry."
"Oh. Oh right! I forgot she's allergic.." Gah, why did he have to be stupid about these things? That explained why Noishe was all frantic when he came back. Even the sound of a twig snapping put the dog in a panic. "I guess I should have sent a person instead…"
"No, no! I was really glad to get it from Noishe… I missed petting him, hehe." She pulled in her knees, looking at Lloyd with such curious eyes. "You said you got a new outfit from Dirk! It looks so cool on you!"
"Heh, yeah, it does make me cool, doesn't it?" He smiled, sitting up straight. "It's even got the Church of Martel symbol on it, see?" He pointed at his vest. Dirk had suggested it as one way to curb away any disdain from his pastors. With this symbol, it was still Chosen-appointed clothes. And with Dirk's many, many work contributions to the Church, the pastors couldn't deny him either. "It's way better than the robe things they always make me wear."
Colette nodded. "Yeah! You even have these cute ribbons." She played with one now, always reaching out to Lloyd with little reserve, and Lloyd always glad she did. He was not someone far off or otherworldly like so many other people would view him as. "Are they meant to do anything?"
Lloyd thought about this. "Um… to make me look cool!" Just saying that made him laugh, and made Colette laugh too. It had been weeks since he felt this relaxed, and happy. It would be weeks that he would not feel this again.
He thought the time away would make him forget, but it only brought everything out in full force.
Lloyd was already handing her the necklace before he thought too hard about it.
Colette stared. "Lloyd?"
"I… I've been working on this for a little bit. Just to keep busy." Just to make the days bearable. "Probably not as good as Dirk does it… but he can't really teach me stuff for very long because of.."
Colette carefully took the necklace in both hands, eyes shining. "It's so pretty! You… you always make such beautiful things, Lloyd."
There was always something in her voice that stopped him, that made him wonder… While Genis and Raine always called him by his name, the way Colette does so was always different. It always pulled at him in a way that was sweet and painful. It had gotten too painful lately. Raine had already let him know today… only a month left before he would need to go.
"Is this really for me?" she asked, surprising Lloyd out of his thoughts.
"Yeah! This can replace the that other one I made for you a few years ago. That was all uneven anyway."
"Oh, I still have that too… and the doggy figure! It's still on my bookshelf!"
As Lloyd was momentarily stunned at that information, Colette circled the chain around her neck, the red jewel glinting in the waning sunlight. "I know you have so much to do lately. But I'm so happy!"
Some of that happiness got to him too. He wished he could keep it. "Heh. I wanted to give it you before I-" He stopped.
"Before you what?"
He had nearly told her then. Lloyd had been trying so hard to keep quiet about things, about what will happen, about what he would have to face. But Colette was looking at him, and suddenly he was ready to tell her everything.
That wouldn't have been fair though. At least one of them should be happy?
"Before I go on my journey, I mean." His voice was quieter, which was hard to change. "I'll probably be gone a while, so I wanted to give that to you first."
At that, Colette was quiet too. Again, something that made him wonder. She looked ready to ask him a question. He anticipated it, unsure if he could keep lying.
Then she smiled. "I'll miss you so much." She kept holding the necklace in her palm, the sun making her hair shine. "I'm glad you wanted to come out here with me today."
Lloyd wanted to hug her, and he did. That was one thing he would let himself do. He brought her close to his chest with a strong grip, and Colette held him back, her hands holding tight onto his new outfit. He didn't care if it was wrinkled or whatever.
"Of course I wanted to," he said softly. Then he pulled back, a smile on his face. "And once I regenerate the world, I'll come right back again, okay? So don't worry about anything!"
Colette kept one hand on Lloyd's arm, while the other clasped the necklace again, pendant going between her fingers. At least, she would have something of him left.
"You don't have to go back so soon, do you?" she then asked. The sun was nearly past the horizon, and the stars blinked up from their places in the sky. "Maybe, you can tell me what you've been doing? Not much happened in the village though.. so I'm sorry if I'm a little boring."
Lloyd laughed. "Colette, I usually just stay inside and read old books all day. Believe me, nothing is more boring than that. And definitely not you! So no more apologizing, okay?"
If a pastor heard this – if his dad heard this – he'd have been in trouble. The most would have been a stern lecture, but he had heard nothing but lectures for weeks. Colette's happy voice was such a difference for everything.
He could enjoy things for one day.
Colette was smiling again, looking beautiful as she always did. "Okay!"
So they both sat back, and they talked. Once the sun had long set, they were still seated by each other. Through all that time, Colette had not let go of the necklace. He wanted to keep that image of her for as long as he could.