L Lawliet died a little over six years ago by the hands (well, manipulations) of Light Yagami. So, the question was, why did Light keep thinking that he saw the man? First, he could have sworn he saw L when he was walking to the subway, then he thought that he saw him while heading to "work." A couple of days later, Light thought he saw L on his way to his and Misa's shared apartment. Later that same week, he thought he saw L on his way to the grocery.
What the Hell was going on? Light decided not to think about that too much. That was a part of his past. He should not think about the past anymore. Especially concerning… Him.
So, over the next nearly three weeks, Light did not think about or see Him. It was great. That was until… it happened.
One day, Light was walking to work later at night when he passed a small fruit stand. He had gotten food from there a few times when he needed ingredients for something but did not want to walk or drive all the way to the grocery store as it was about halfway between the tower and his apartment. So Light waved and smiled at the man running the stand. The man waved back.
Light was just a few steps away from the stand. That was when he heard, "Hey! What the Hell do you think you're doing!"
Light turned to face the man because of the sheer volume of his voice, thinking that someone was trying to steal something or push something over. It would not be the first time.
That was when he saw Him. There was no way that he could be mistaken as anyone else. The spiky black hair, pale skin, white sweater, and blue jeans that have come to haunt his dreams were all there. It was unmistakable and right in front of him. L looked at the man with wide eyes and then ran off.
Light's only thought was to run after him. After all, this was L. He had to know why L was back. But unfortunately, an officer who (in Light's opinion) had way too much time on his hands also decided to chase after L as well.
L then ducked down an alleyway. By the time Light reached him, the cop had already made it and was yelling at him.
"Hey, hey!" Light shouted. He rushed over to the officer, knowing that most of the officers would recognize him as "Yagami's Boy," a name that he despised even as a teenager, but he had been hearing less and less now that he was an adult and distanced himself from the NPA.
Thankfully, the cop was older and did recognize him. "You're Yagami's boy."
It was said as a statement, but Light nodded and said "yes."
"Do you know this guy?" the cop asked, looking at L with disgust in his eyes. Light understood the look. L was currently bowing like a servant bowing down to his king, on his knees with his whole torso and forehead to the ground. He was crying so hard that he was shaking, though his sobs were quiet, and he was whimpering. He looked pathetic, nothing like the L he knew 6 years prior. Not to mention, L was filthy. His shirt and pants were covered in mud and grass stains. His skin was covered in a thin layer of dirt. His hair was so greasy that Light knew that he had not had a shower in a long time. It was disgusting.
"Yeah," Light said, quickly coming up with a lie after years of practicing, "Rue's my cousin, he just moved here a couple of weeks ago, and he has mental problems. So he sometimes runs away from home. He doesn't know any better."
"He's your cousin?" the cop asked with a raised, skeptical eyebrow, "your father never mentioned a cousin."
"Dad doesn't like to talk about him," Light said, "because of his mental problems."
The cop did not say anything to that.
"Can we go now?" Light asked, taking a step toward L. He had no idea how he would get L out of here without some sort of fight, but he would blame it on L's 'problems.' He would then figure out what was going on once they got back to the tower. After all, people don't just come back from the dead, and Light had seen L die all those years ago. He should not be here.
The cop either believed Light or did not want to deal with L and said, "Yeah, sure."
"Thank you," Light said, slowly approaching L. He squatted down and placed a hand on L's back. L flinched violently, but he did not try to get away. Light took this as a sign to continue. "C'mon, let's get up," Light said, placing his hands under L's arms and lifting him up. Thankfully, L went with him without protest. Unfortunately, he was still crying hard when he got to his feet.
From there, it was easy to get him back to the tower. All Light had to do was keep a hand on L's shoulder. L did not try to get away from him, although he did not stop crying.
Light could not decide if it was more annoying or pathetic. Perhaps slightly sad.
"Okay, you need to calm down, L," Light hissed when they got into the tower.
L did not listen. He did not seem to hear him at all. He just continued to sob, biting on his finger.
Light sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He took a deep breath to try and calm himself. It would not help to lose his temper at L. Light did not know what was going on or why L was back. The thought that this could be a trick of some sort crossed his mind. If this was a trick, it did not make any sense. Why show himself to Light after six years? Where would he have been if he did not die? He felt L die in his arms all those years ago. He was at the funeral. He saw him get buried. L died.
So, how and why was L back. How was he standing right next to him, breathing and crying?
Light sighed again before leading L to one of the couches. He sat L down, not bothering to speak as L was not answering him.
Light just needed a moment to think. If L was not trying to trick him, what the Hell happened to him? He needed to talk to someone.
He called Misa
"Hi, Light," Misa answered.
"Hey, Misa," Light greeted, "look, I don't really know how to say this, so I'm just going to say it. L's back."
"What!" Misa exclaimed. For once, Light understood the shouting.
"L's back," Light repeated, "but… he is not the same."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Misa asked.
"He's crying and is acting like he cannot hear me," Light explained, looking back over at L. He was still sitting down on the couch and chewing on his first finger. He was looking around the room with wide, confused eyes. He whimpered and sniffled, rocking back and forth. The other man looked terrified.
"Are you going to kill him?" Misa asked.
Light was almost startled by the question, but he did understand it. "I don't know. I mean, the Death Note did not work on him. So how do we know if it's going to work now? I just need to talk to Ryku."
"Okay, I'll bring him over. You're at the tower now, right?" Misa asked.
"Yeah."
"Well, I'm across town, so it's going to take me a few minutes," Misa told him.
"Okay, I'll see you then," Light said formally, hanging up the phone. Light took a moment to close his eyes and take a breath. He leaned against the table for just a second. Only a second because then he heard something from the kitchen.
Light rushed into the kitchen to see what the noise was. When he got into the kitchen, he saw L rummaging through the cabinets. He was muttering… something that Light could not hear.
"Hey, what are you doing?" Light asked. He tried not to sound angry or harsh as Light finally realized that maybe L might not have control over how he was acting right now.
L still flinched back and looked at Light with wide eyes. He was shaking and said in a meek voice, "vado." It was a begging tone- almost desperate. Just a few years ago, he might have relished in the pathetic tone coming out of L. But, right now, Light was just happy that L was attempting to communicate with him. If only he could understand what he was trying to say.
"I have no idea what you're saying, man," Light told him. The statement seemed to confuse L further. His eyebrow frowned, and his eyes looked lost. He looked so lost. That was when Light realized that L was not ignoring him. L did not understand what Light was saying to him. Something must have happened to the other man for him not to understand. Light just needed to know what that something was.
They looked at each other for a few seconds before L went back to looking through the cabinets. He was still muttering 'vado' under his breath.
"Okay, okay," Light said, starting to become overwhelmed. It was obvious that L was looking for something. Light just needed to know what it was. "Let me help you."
Of course, L did not answer Light. He did not even seem to realize that he spoke.
Then, L grabbed a container full of bleach. Light felt his heart drop when L attempted to open it.
"No!" Light shouted in a panic, running to L to wrench the beach away from hands. L, who just stopped crying, let out a terrified shout. If Light's hand had not been on the bleach container, it would have dropped to the ground when L let go to cover his ears. He started crying again. He took a few steps back and curled up as much as he could while still standing.
Light took a deep breath, trying to quell his initial panic. He had no idea why he panicked like that, but he did have the time to psychoanalyze his reactions. L was now upset again, but now Light knew what he wanted.
Light ignored L for now as he knew he would not get L calm until he got what he wanted. So, he walked to the cup cabinet and pulled out one of the disposable plastic cups. He then went to the sink to fill it up with water.
Now, the hard part, getting L to realize that he had water and to get him to take it.
Light gently took one of L's hands that were still covering his ears and tried to pray the hand off his ear. L whimpered and tensed up further.
"Okay, okay," Light said in a gentler voice that he did not know he was capable of. Then, he very gently (as if L was made of glass) Light rubbed L's hand. Eventually, the soft touches made L relax to the point that Light could get his hand off his ear.
"Listen," Light said, voice still calm and soothing. He knew that L would not respond to his words, but he might respond to his tone. He just needed to get L to look at him again so that he could show him the water. He still rubbed L's hands and then realized that they were shaking. L was terrified of him. That made a weight settle in his chest. He made him scared all over again. Well, Light was going to fix that. "I know that you're scared. You need to open your eyes. C'mon, Man, just open your eyes so that I can show you something. It's something good, I promise."
Light continued to ramble until L opened his eyes again. The man sniffled, tears still streaming down his face. "Vado," L whimpered again.
"Yeah, yeah," Light nodded, attempting to show him the cup full of water, "vado."
L's head snapped up. "Va-vado?" L asked, pointing to the cup.
"Yes," Light said, nodding his head exaggeratedly. He just hoped that L would understand the gesture.
L slowly, very hesitantly took the cup of water. He brought it up to his mouth slowly. Once he took a sip, L's eyes widened as if the water was the best thing he had ever tasted. He then gulped the rest of the water down quickly. Light almost told him not to drink so fast or else he would get a stomach ache, but how do you explain that when they did not understand each other?
"Vado?" L asked when he was done. He handed the cup out to Light. He then flinched back as if he was expecting a hit.
"Okay," Light said with another nod, not reacting to the flinch. Though the flinch did make Light think, 'what the Hell happened to you, L?'
Light refilled the water and handed it back to L. L once again gulped it down, but he did not try to hand Light the cup again. Instead, L held the cup to his chest as if it was the most precious thing to him.
"If you're that thirsty, I bet you're hungry too," Light said mostly to himself, "then again, you were trying to steal food."
He put his hand on L's shoulder to guide him to the kitchen table. "Okay, let's sit down, L," Light said, pulling out a chair. He gently pushed down on L's shoulders. Like with the couch, L sat down and placed his cup on the table. "Stay right here. I'm going to get you something to eat," Light said, putting both of his hands up to try and communicate that he wanted L to stay.
Thankfully, L seemed to be content where Light placed him. He did not seem as fearful anymore, though there was a sparkle of fear in his eyes. He looked mostly curious right now. He looked around the kitchen as if he was not the one who designed and authorized the build.
"What should I get us to eat?" Light asked himself. He checked the fridge to see if there were any leftovers or ingredients he could throw together. Misa would be here any second, so he needed to be quick. Thankfully, there was a large bowl of chicken and rice. He was going to use it as lunch for the next couple of days, but he would be able to make or get something else for lunch. L could stomach chicken and rice when they were cuffed together even though it was not sweet.
"How about some rice and chicken?" Light asked. He looked at L over his shoulder, but L did not reply. Instead, he was still looking around as if Light had not spoken. 'I'll just take that as a yes,' Light thought to himself. He just hoped that L would eat it.
Light filled two smaller bowls with the rice put it in the rest of it in the fridge. He then placed the bowls in the microwave. When he closed the door, he saw L flinch out of the corner of his eye. So, L was not fond of loud noises. He never really was, but he never had a fear of them like he seemed to now.
L flinched and gasped when he heard the high-pitched beeping. He curled up further, bringing his knees to his chest. He looked like the old L in a way despite the wide, tear-filled eyes.
"Don't worry, L," Light said in a soothing voice that helped him calm down earlier. He did not want L to start crying again. Light opened the door to the microwave, effectively stopping the beeping. "It's just the microwave telling us our food is done."
Light realized that he was talking to L like a child, but he was basically acting like one. He took the bowls out of the microwave, put a spoon in one, and chopsticks in another.
"Here it is," Light said, placing the bowl in front of L. L looked at the bowl but did not make a move to start eating. Light started to eat slowly, hoping that L would copy him. Thankfully, L seemed to get the message and started to eat. He ate very, very slowly. After each bite, he looked up at Light. It was almost like he was expecting some sort of punishment for eating. Light did not react to the fear. Maybe the more relaxed Light was, the more relaxed L would also become.
Unfortunately, Light did not have the chance to test that theory for too long because he heard Misa's squeaky voice shout, "Light!"
L flinched and nearly choked on his rice. He then stood. Light thought that he was about to bolt.
"Hey, hey," Light said. He also stood and placed his hand on L's shoulder. L startled and looked up at Light. "It's okay." Light pushed on L's shoulders again. The man gave a tiny whimper, but he sat down. "Good," Light nodded. "Now, keep eating," Light pushed the bowl that was now half full, closer to L, "I'm going to be right back."
When L did not start eating, Light scooped a bit of rice on his spoon. He then handed the spoon to L. Thankfully, L seemed to understand and brought the spoon to his mouth.
"Good," Light said. He then started to walk out of the room. Before he left the room, he looked over his shoulders for a few seconds. L was still eating and seemed okay now. Light left the room.
"Light!" Misa shouted, rushing up to him and hugging him tightly.
"Shh, Misa," Light whispered, pushing her away with a glare, "we don't have time for this right now," he scolded. "Where's Ryuk?"
"Right here, Light-O," Ryuk said with a wave. "Misa gave me a run down. Your little L is back. 'e's acting weirder."
"Yeah, you can say that," Light told him, crossing his arms. "He's not really responding to me. I don't think he can understand anything. But the bigger problem is that he is alive. How is that even possible?"
"There's a few ways since his body was still intact," Ryuk said.
"It was still six years ago," Misa pointed out.
"Doesn't matter. His body was intact," Ryuk repeated. "You know about the eraser."
"Yeah," Light said. Ryuk had told him about the death eraser once about two years after L's death. "But no one would have had the opportunity to erase L's name."
"Then I need to see him," Ryuk told him.
"Why?" Light asked.
Ryuk did not answer him, flying to where L was sitting in the kitchen. Light and Misa followed him. Ryuk got close to L. At first, L did not react. He was still eating the bowl of rice and chicken very slowly. Then after a few seconds, a shiver ran up his spine; his teeth even chattered. He looked directly up at Ryuk, but he did not react. Instead, he simply whimpered and looked back down. L then started to squirm. Ryuk touched L's shoulder. L jumped and gasped. He fell out of his chair, landing on his bottom. He put his hands up to protect his head.
Light then rushed over to L. "What the Hell was that?" Light asked. It was almost like L could feel Ryuk but not see him. He had never seen a human react like that to Ryuk. He could normally touch or even go through a human without them reacting.
"I know what's happened," Ryuk said.
"Can you explain it?" Light asked. He kneeled down to L, who was once again crying. This time, however, he was crying silently. Light helped L to his feet and put him back in the chair. L whimpered again, pushing Light's hands off of him before standing to walk over to a chair that was further away. Light let him be, turning to Ryuk.
He did explain it. Basically, souls could become confused when they were supposed to go to Heaven or Hell and were drawn into the Shinigami Realm. This was more likely if a person had been using or around a Death Note or Shinigami in life. A select few Shinigami tried to turn the human soul into Shinigami when this happened. Sometimes, it was easy. Others it took a bit of 'convincing.'
"What type of convincing?" Light asked, heart dropping as he thought he might know the answer.
"The painful type of convincing," Ryuk answered.
"So, he was tortured," Light asked, looking back at L, who was once again rocking. "For six years."
"Well, the thing about that," Ryuk said, "is that time works differently in the Shinigami Realm."
"How so?" Light asked.
"Every month is like ten years," Ryuk answered. He looked almost sad, but Light did not notice that.
"720 years," Light whispered. That was was something that Light could not wrap his mind around. That was over seven human life spans. Nearly 36 generations. It was an amount of time that Light could not imagine living, but L did. For the majority of his life, L had been tortured, possibly in ways that he could not think of. Light felt sick.
"I've never heard of a human soul come back before. It doesn't matter how much time it takes. A human soal always gives in."
"Stop talking," Light snapped. He did not need to hear about that. He did not want to hear about that.
Ryuk knew when he was not wanted, so he left. Misa entered as Light sat back down next to L, rice forgotten.
"Did you hear?" Light asked.
"Yeah," Misa said, looking at L with disgust written on her face. "I still say we should kill him."
"Why?" Light asked, anger rising in his chest. It was partially their fault that this happened to L. Why would they then kill him as soon as he could get away?
"He's still L," Misa said, "he may not remember anything right now, but what if he does. He would stop at nothing to take you down, just like last time."
"Do you remember anything from when you were a baby?" Light asked.
"No," Misa answered, sounding confused.
"That's what it would be like for L," Light said, "the life that he had before, he probably won't ever remember because too much time has passed for him. Plus, we don't kill people for what they might do."
"Then kill him for what he did do," Misa told him.
Light felt more anger raise up inside him. However, he did not let it show as it might scare L. L was looking back and forth between them as if trying to decipher what they were saying.
"You don't kill someone for what they did as a kid. So we're not killing him," Light said. He stood again, saying, "it's nearly ten, I don't know about you, but I'm going to bed."
Light placed a hand on L's shoulder. L, who seemed to understand, stood up, grabbed his cup, and Light led him to the elevator, leaving a shocked Misa in his wake.
When they got to the elevator, Light pushed the button to his (and L's) floor with a bit more force than necessary. L flinched when the elevator started to move. He looked around the elevator with curious eyes.
Light just wished that he knew what was going through L's head.
"It's okay, Buddy," Light said, rubbing his shoulder and not knowing where the friendly name had come from. If anyone else but L had heard him, he would have blamed it on his exhaustion. He wanted nothing more than to curl up and go to sleep once they got to their room. However, with one look at L, it was obvious that he needed a shower. The only spot on his skin that was not covered in dirt were the streaks under his eyes. He would probably feel much better when he was clean. Plus, there was no way that L would get into his bed when he was that filthy.
"Okay, we're going to take a shower first," Light said. He had taken so many showers with L while they were chained together that he did not think of it too much. 'Let's just hope that the showerhead doesn't freak him out.' He thought as he guided him to their room after stepping off the elevator.
L looked behind him at the elevator doors closing. So, Light stopped so that L could watch. He looked fascinated. Then, he looked around the entrance to their floor. They were in the living room. L looked at the art and photos. He looked like he wanted to take a closer look, but he did not move.
"Let's go, L," Light said, putting slight pressure on his shoulder to get him to move. "I'll give you the tour tomorrow."
L did not protest. Light walked into their bedroom.
"Okay, let's get you some clothes," Light said. Now, he sort of regretted boxing up all of L's clothes. But, he could give L a change of his clothes. A pair of sweatpants with a string and a t-shirt should be fine.
Light led L into the bathroom then went into his walk-in closet. Once Light picked out grey pants and a red long-sleeved shirt, he walked back into the bathroom.
It seemed that L knew about his own bodily urges when it came to the bathroom and knew how to take care of it. That was a relief that Light had not thought of beforehand.
Light wordlessly took off his shirt and pants. L looked him up and down, head cocked and eyebrows furrowed. Light chuckled. It must seem quite odd from L's prepspective as Light just started to randomly take off his clothes. But unfortunately, he had no way of explaining to L that they were just going to take a shower. So, he would need to show him.
"Don't worry, Buddy," Light said, holding up his hands in an innocent gesture, "I'm not going to do anything weird." Light said, walking over to the shower and turning it on. L startled at the sudden news. He then cocked his head and looked interested. "Vado?" L asked. His voice was a bit stronger, which Light was happy about.
"Yeah," Light said with a nod. "Vado."
L walked over to the shower and put his hand under the stream. He clenched and unclenched his hand. Then he did something that made Light warm. He smiled.
"Do you like that, Buddy," Light asked softly, placing a hand on L's shoulder.
"Vado," L said, looking up at Light still smiling.
"That's right," Light said, "Now, let's take off your clothes so when we can get under. First, give me this," Light took the cup out of L's hand and put it on the sink.
Of course, L did not respond. So, Light turned L so that he could more easily grab the hem of his dingy shirt. When he removed the shirt, L gave a full-body shiver. Light saw the hairs on L's arms were standing on end.
"Cold, aren't you?" Light asked in the same calming tone that he used with L. "Don't worry," Light said as he unbuttoned L's pants so that they fell to the ground. L must not have been buried in underwear.
"Let's get in," Light said. Like every other time, L went with him. While it was nice that L was compliant when he was scared, confused unable to understand him or communicate with him, it was disturbing. Normally, L was stubborn and would not let anyone guide him. Then again, that was L from over 720 years ago. Maybe that was what he was trained to do. Light felt sick to his stomach again.
L gasped when he was placed under the showerhead. Light thought for a second that L would start to freak out and cry again. Thankfully, that was not the case. L smiled again and let out a squeal of delight. Light could not help but smile. Thank the universe for vado.
Light watched in slightly morbid fascination as the dirt turned into mud and washed off L's body and down the drain. As far as Light could see, there were no new scars. Then again, the torture was not done to L's physical body but to his soul. Light wondered how many scars were on his soul. Would that damn him back to the Shinigami Realm when he did die?
He swallowed down bile and pulled L from the showerhead.
This time, L made a noise of protest. His eyes then widened as if fearful was retaliation for the protest. He looked down and tensed.
Light once again ignored the frightened response. Instead, he said, "I know you like it, but I need to wash your hair," he ran a hand through L's hair. It felt greasy to the touch, and Light could feel the dirt still stuck to his hair.
Light grabbed his shampoo, making his movements obvious so that L could see what he was doing. He put a generous amount of shampoo on his hand. L watched everything that Light was doing. When Light worked the shampoo through L's hair, the man closed his eyes. He seemed to be enjoying it. It must have been a long time since he received any amount of gentle touch. With that thought, Light played with L's hair for longer than necessary. He then took the showerhead from its holder and sprayed L's hair free of the suds, using his other hand to keep the soap from his eyes. The same steps were repeated with the conditioner.
Light finger-combed L's hair until his hand did not get caught anymore. L whimpered a couple of times because of a couple of particularly tough tangles, but he did not try to get away.
"Okay," Light said, returning the showerhead to its holder, "now we just need to get your body clean. Then, I guess, you can stand under the water for a little bit."
Light did just as he promised. He soaped up a soft washcloth and gently cleaned his whole body as fast as he could. L then stood under the warm stream until he nearly fell asleep. His eyes were closing every few seconds, and he was swaying on his feet.
"I think it's time to get out," Light told him, turning off the water.
L pouted, but he did not try to fight against Light as he guided him out of the shower. L shuddered once his skin hit the cool air. He looked back at the shower longingly.
"I'll dry you off," Light said, taking a soft towel from the linen cabinet. He started to dry L from his hair down to his feet. After Light had dressed him in the long-sleeved shirt and sweatpants (tieing the string so that it fit around his thin waist), he took off his soaked boxers and dressed in a pair of silky pajamas.
Light left the dirty clothes to deal with later. L obviously needed to get to bed. He was fisting and eye, chewing on his first finger. He yawned and whined.
"C'mon, L," Light said, placing his hand on his back, "it's time to go to bed."
Once they got to the bed, Light gently urged L to lay down on the pillow. "There you go," Light said, covering him with a thick, fuzzy blanket. L jumped when the fuzziness touched his skin. Then, his eyes snapped open, and he looked at the blanket. When he rubbed his hand across the soft object, he might have realized that the blanket was not going to hurt him. So he relaxed into the bed and closed his eyes again.
Light was content that L was going to stay in bed. So, he went back to the bathroom to gather the dirty clothes and towels. When he saw L's dingy shirt, everything hit him. He felt sick to his stomach all over again. This time, however, he could not hold back. Light barely made it to the toilet before he threw up.
Light rinsed out his mouth and splashed his face. "Get ahold of yourself," Light said, looking in the mirror. "Everything's going to be okay. Everything's going to be okay. L's not going to get hurt again, not while you're watching over him. Shinigami be damned."
Feeling better that he promised himself that, Light picked up the dirty clothes. He put his clothes and the towels into the laundry hamper and threw L's clothes away.
Once he returned to his room to go to bed, L was sitting up in bed. He was rubbing his left eye, looking around the room. Confusion was edged on his face.
"Hey, Bud," Light said, sitting down on the bed, "lay down. It's time to go to bed."
Light laid down, urging L down too. L squirmed for a second. Then, he turned his back to Light, bringing his blanket to his face. This time, Light heard L snoring in just a few moments.
He was asleep.