Chapter 4

Steve helped Eddie up the stairs, his side ached from the effort, but he hid it well. He was starting to understand how Eddie functioned in small ways. He'd probably been let down by people most of his life so he didn't ask for help anymore. It was a sad thought that Steve told himself he would change. Eddie was gonna feel safe relying on him if it killed him dammit.

Eddie hissed in pain as Steve tried to help him onto the bed.

"Shit sorry! Did any of your stitches pop?" Steve asked, frantically pulling up Eddie's shirt to take a look at the massive cut that ran up his torso to check for blood.

"Whoa there cowboy! I'm fine, it just tugged a bit. I'm not gonna die." Eddie yelled out, surprised by the sudden disrobing Steve was subjecting him to.

"Sorry, I just… you barely made it out the first time. I can't have you bleeding out again." Steve said, the panic creeping into his voice again.

"Hey you'll be the first to know if I start bleeding okay Harington?" Eddie grabbed both the sides of Steve's face and made him meet his eyes. "I'm okay dude. I'm right here, alive and breathing okay? Not going anywhere."

Steve's eyes met Eddies and he silently nodded, his panic subsiding. Eddie was right. He wasn't on the verge of death. Not like he had been. He was gonna be fine. He had to be.

After making sure Eddie was comfortable in bed he got ready to head to bed himself. He took off his wet trunks and threw them into the laundry basket in the corner of his room and put on fresh boxers and brushed his teeth. His body still ached from days before and he still had a few small bruises on his side and thigh. They were a pale yellow now, better than the massive blue and purple there were days ago.

He washed his face in the sink and looked at himself hunched in the mirror. He looked exhausted. Bags were beginning to form under his eyes and his eyes were red with exhaustion. This would be his first night sleeping in his own bed since their fight with Vecna. It was a surreal idea. How could life ever just go on after stuff like this? But it always did, it had before. He had kept going to school, gotten a job, met Robin, developed a crush on Robin and been let down gently. All normal teenage stuff. Like nothing had ever happened, because no one could ever know it had.

Steve wiped his face dry with a hand towel and made his way to his bed. His mind was racing at the thought of what nightmare he would have tonight. Just the thought made him dread going to sleep.

Instead he turned on his tv for noise and decided to do some reading. He didn't have much in terms of books, but Dustin had given him his worn copy of the Lord of The Rings. He opened the first chapter and started reading. It was definitely a dense book, and though it wasn't really his vibe, he could see why guys like Eddie and Dustin liked it. It was a sort of escape from the shit storm that was the real world.

A small knock on his door broke his concentration on the book and he looked up as the door cracked open.

Eddie stood there in his boxers. "Can't sleep either?" he asked sheepishly.

"Nah. I just wanted to get some reading in to tire myself out. Helps prevent nightmares." Steve replied with a shrug before getting up from his bed.

"Good book?" Eddie asked, nodding to the book left open and face down on the bed.

"Uh yeah. So far I like it." he said nervously. "Dustin let me borrow it."

"It's one of my favorites." Eddie said, giving a timid grin and leaning against the door frame.

"I can see why." Steve replied, sitting back down on his bed.

"Hey… so… do you mind if I crash in here? I just don't think I can sleep alone in this big creepy house." Eddie inquired, looking a bit uncomfortable. He was rubbing his shoulder and looking down at the floor.

"Sure dude. Honestly it might help me sleep better too." Steve grabbed his book and marked the page before setting it down on his night stand.

Eddie smiled a goofy smile and turned to shut the door before striding over to the bed. "Thanks. I honestly wasn't sure if you'd be cool about it."

"I mean it's just like a sleep over. I've had plenty of those in my day." Steve said nonchalantly, shrugging.

"I bet you have." Eddie teased, wagging his brow.

"Not like that Munson. Just regular ones." Steve groaned as he laid back on the bed.

Eddie crawled in on the other side. Wincing slightly and he tried to get comfortable.

"God you can't take a joke can you Harrington?" Eddie teased further.

"I take plenty of jokes all day just fine, Munson." Steve retorted as he followed suit and got under the covers.

"Yeah yeah." Eddie replied, moving a hand back and forth, brushing off Steve's reply.

After seeing Eddie had gotten situated he reached over and turned off the lamp on his bedside table.

In the dark it seemed empty. Just the sound of quiet breathing as Steve laid back down. After a minute Eddie broke the silence.

"Well this isn't awkward at all." he said with a small chuckle.

"It wouldn't be if you went to sleep, Munson." Steve replied dryly.

"I've been asleep for five days dude." Eddie laughed out. "I think I've gotten enough sleep for a week."

"Well I haven't." Steve retorted, snuggling down into his bed.

"Because you don't wanna stop to deal with your feelings." Eddie stated matter of factly.

"Yes." Steve replied defeated, staring up at the ceiling with hooded tired eyes.

"Well maybe if you get that shit off your chest you won't have so many nightmares." Eddie suggested. His knuckles grazing Steve's when he moved.

He stiffened slightly at the touch, waiting for Steve's reaction.

"I just can't get over the guilt of it all man. Like logically I know I couldn't have done anything more than I did, but we barely made it out of there alive and not without a cost. You know?" Steve seemed to be a dam ready to burst wide open.

"I mean you got all the kids out alive." Eddie said, building up the courage to brush Steve's hand again. "That's more than a lot of us expected. I think pretty much everyone was prepared to die doing what we did." Eddie's heart was starting to beat faster and faster as he lay there in the quiet of the room.

Steve contemplated what Eddie had said before replying "I guess you're right. It just kills me that I can't seem to keep everyone safe." His voice had become somber as he thought about it.

"Well you're not superman, but you still manage to be on par with him regardless." Eddie said, pushing his shoulder into Steve's reassuringly.

Steve scoffed at that thought. "Sure Eddie I'm a superhero." he stated sarcastically.

"You are to me. You straight up saved my life." Eddie said quietly. He was getting nervous again and he didn't understand why. This was Harrington for christ's sake.

Steve turned his head to look at Eddie's face. "You would've done the same in my shoes." He replied, releasing the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. It was so strange to think Eddie could make him nervous all this time. He wasn't scared of him like he had been when they'd first met and Eddie had held a knife to his throat. Being around Eddie now created a different sort of fear in him. A fear of saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing. Right now he needed this boy more than he had ever needed anyone and he couldn't risk losing him again.

Eddie was quite for a moment before he finally grabbed Steve's hand. He really didn't have any more to say. All he could do was this small gesture to show Steve he cared. Steve's thumb gently brushed over the back of his hand as they sat there. It felt good, this little sign of affection. It was what they both needed. At least it was enough for tonight. Just holding hands and facing each other.

Eddie studied Steven's face for any sign of discomfort, but his face was blank, content even.

"Thanks for being at the hospital when I woke up. I don't know what I would've done if I'd been alone tonight." Eddie said, biting his lip slightly at the corner.

Steve gave a small smile and placed his forehead against Eddie's, breathing in Eddie's smell. It was warm and spicy. Like cigarettes, weed and cinnamon. He felt comforted by it and just stayed there for a moment taking it in.

Eddie stiffened at the unexpected closeness, but quickly relaxed into the feeling. He squeezed Steve's hand lightly and smiled.

He didn't know why this was so nice. It was like for the first time in his life he was just accepted, wholly for who he was. Without judgment or persecution. With that calming realization he drifted off to sleep.

Steve heard the lightest snores coming from the other boy after sitting like that for a while. He smiled to himself and let himself drift off into sleep. He dreamed, but this time all his friends were alive and well. Nobody was dying or dead. Just smiling happy faces of all the kids he'd grown to love. And Eddie, the goofy nerd holding his hand as they joked and laughed at meaningless trivial teenage things.

For the first time in nearly a week, Steve didn't wake up in a cold sweat screaming. He slept soundly in his bed, feeling not so alone in this world anymore.