Re:Turn To The Real World

Subaru opened his eyes. It was just like before, and everything was gone, Rem, Otto, Beatrice, "Emilia…" Subaru said out loud and opened his eyes wider, he looked to the left and the right and saw he was exactly where he was before, standing outside a convenience store at night holding a bag. "Emilia!?" Subaru said again and dropped the bag, uncaring of the chips and ramen inside of it, and did a total 180 to see if he was wrong and that maybe all of his friends were still there. "R-Rem? Beako? Otto?" The boy desperately begged nobody, "Somebody please answer me!" Subaru shouted into the night air as he dropped to his knees and grimaced, his face washed with despair and regret, he wasn't even allowed to say goodbye to them. "Why? Why did you do this to me? Why didn't you just kill me? Say something you stupid fucking witch! Satella! Tell me why you did this!" Subaru screamed and slammed his hands onto the pavement, his tears already starting to fall onto the ground beside his hands while he sobbed loudly and occasionally said something to himself.
Eventually, Subaru stood back up, with his tears now mostly dried and stained on his cheeks, he wiped his puffy eyes and slowly walked back into the convenience store and looked at the cashier. "Can you tell me what day it is?" Subaru asked him, his already nasty eyes looking even worse when they were as red as they were, "Nani datte?" The clerk said and looked back at the rough-looking teen standing in front of the register. It took a moment for Subaru to even realize what he said, his mother tongue sounded so foreign after not hearing it for so very long, after all, he hadn't spoken Japanese or had it spoken to him since he was taken to Lugnica. "C-can you tell me what the day is?" Subaru asked again after a few moments, this time in Japanese, which sounded much more broken than it should have, "Oh…it's still the same day as when you came in a few minutes ago," the clerk told him, "is that all you needed?" He asked Subaru, and cocked his head to the side slightly from confusion, which made Subaru shiver. "N-no, thank you," Subaru said before he turned and left the store, and began running as fast as he could to the only place that still felt familiar in his head, home.
Subaru's body was nearly as conditioned in the real world as it was back in Lugnica, but that didn't stop him from running all the way back to his house, where his parents would be, where his old life was. 'Damnit! Was it all a dream? The entire year I was away? Did none of it happen?' Subaru thought as he ran, the cold air stinging his lungs as he gulped down breath after breath, his brain going a million miles per second while he tried to get a grasp on what the hell happened, and why he was forced into a new life just to be ripped out once he had adjusted and embraced it. Perhaps it had never happened at all, and he just hallucinated or passed out for a few seconds while standing up and dreamed everything. But that couldn't be true, Subaru knew it was real, he felt all the pain and deaths, he loved Emilia and Rem, how could his friendships with Otto and Garf be fake? Maybe this was another test by the witch, and dying would reset him. But then again, it was too risky to try.

As Subaru got to his street he started running even faster, until he reached his house and charged through the door and didn't bother to take off his shoes, though he knew his parents would be mad at him. Subaru rushed through the house until he got to the kitchen and saw something angelic, "Mom!" The teenager shouted before he pulled his mother to him and wrapped her up in a tight hug, his face burying itself in her neck while he squeezed her with all he had, "Subaru! What's gotten into you?" His mother asked him, and looked at her son for answers, but only got sobs as a response. Slowly she hugged the boy back, her gentle and loving arms wound their way around the teenager as he cried into her neck, "I-I thought I lost you!" Subaru gasped harshly and sobbed some more, his thoughts of Lugnica and the world he spent a year in were all but gone now, replaced by the memories of his life before the hell he lived. Of his parents, of his home, suddenly nothing but the hug he was in mattered to Subaru, "What are you saying? I was right here the whole time, you were only gone for a few minutes." Subaru's mom said softly and with concern, her comforting voice floating into her son's ears while he continued to sob loudly. "Naoko? Who is that crying?" Subaru's father asked as he came out of his room and down the hall, "It's Subaru, he's acting strange." The kind woman responded and took her eyes off Subaru to look at her husband, who was quickly approaching them in the kitchen.
Once Subaru's father was close enough he turned around and hugged him too, his face going into the man's chest, "Subaru…" His father mumbled before he put one arm around his son and looked at him, "Talk to me, you just keep crying." Subaru's father pleaded with him, and patted his back softly, "I-I was g-gone for so long! I l-left you guys for so long, a-and I'm sorry!" Subaru cried, his tears staining his father's shirt like it did his mom's apron, "What are you talking about? You were only gone for 10 minutes, and we're okay, no need to apologize." Subaru's father told him and smiled reassuringly down at his son, who was still sobbing into his chest. After a few more minutes of crying, Subaru pulled away from the hug and looked at his parents, his eyes were even puffier now and the tear stains on his cheeks were somehow more noticeable than before, "I'm…I'm sorry, I don't know what got into me," Subaru meekly switched his gaze back and forth between parents, "I guess I'm just tired, sorry." The boy lied and then looked away from his parents before he tried to push past his father, who stopped him in his tracks, "Subaru, what happened?" His father asked him, and held him in place so he had no choice but to answer him, "I lost it all." Subaru responded quickly and then failed to hide the pained expression he held, "Emilia, Rem, Beako, all of them. They're gone as if they never existed in the first place." Subaru muttered barely loud enough for his parents to hear, "An entire year, gone, all the struggle and pain." The steely-eyed teen mumbled as he thought about everything he had done for the sake of his friends, the blood that had been spilled, and the deaths that happened, it was too much for the teen to comprehend now. Subaru gulped and then let himself fall crumpled to the ground, his face going pale while he thought about everything, he thought his life was taken from him due to some witch. But in reality, it hadn't even been a second, it was as if he blinked and a dream happened, and not like he spent a year suffering. "Naoko, call a doctor, I think he's passing out!" Subaru's father said as he kneeled next to the teen and grabbed his shoulders to shake him, but got nothing from the boy.

Si:x Years Later

Subaru sighed as he strolled through the park and inhaled the toxic smoke of a cigarette, a habit he had picked up to cope, despite his doctor's many warnings. Subaru looked around at the people happily living their lives, children and families all enjoying their times and having fun, something Subaru found hard to do now. The man averted his gaze and continued walking, but now his pace was quicker, he sucked in another breath of smoke and exhaled deeply to try to distract himself from his own thoughts. In six years Subaru made few advancements in his mental health, which led to him being dropped by his therapist, which Subaru wasn't opposed to since he wasn't much help anyway. Subaru, of course, didn't go to university and instead decided to find a job in the construction field, which was just a way to make ends meet for now, but more than likely would be all he would ever do. And he knew that, of course. A high school dropout doesn't have many opportunities in Japan, which Subaru also knew. His parents offered to let him stay with them, but he couldn't stand their worried looks and confused stares, which he endured for years before he moved into his own apartment. Where he would likely live for the rest of his life, a sad life, with no wife or kids and nothing to leave anyone. A life befitting of someone who had dreams of living another life, one that he had a purpose in, that he had love and a future in. Subaru let the cigarette fall out of his mouth so he could grit his teeth, today was the day, Subaru had decided.

And so he walked back to his apartment building and took the elevator all the way to the roof. Today was the day. Subaru was sure of it, sure it was the day. So he walked to the edge of the roof and stood there looking down, from up high it was jarring, but he'd been higher. At the same time though, he knew it was enough, and so without much more hesitation, Natsuki Subaru walked off the edge and closed his eyes. And for the first time in years, he smiled a real smile, even as he heard himself speed towards the ground, his yellowed teeth showed all the way down. Until finally, he stopped falling and opened his eyes again.

"Subaru, hey, open your eyes," Emilia demanded from her knight and used her index finger and thumb to pry open Subaru's eyelid, "Why are you crying?"

A/N

I hope you all enjoyed this, just figured it was a pretty good concept and I hope I did well enough writing it.