They haven't been back here since Matteo found David. The hallway there was even dustier and spider web infested than before. They had to find another entrance as the window had been boarded up within the last year. The pool tiles were falling off and the ladder was half broken. There were weeds growing through the grout of the tiles on the floor. David turns around smiling,
"Where are we?"
"Underwater." Matteo smiles back at him. His hair longer than it was last year. Almost fully covering his eyes. Pushing his hair back with his hands. "It looks so much creepier than before. How did you stay here for a week?"
"Okay." He points, "It wasn't a week. It was like four days, max. I bet I can hold my breath longer than you?"
"Seriously?" He cocks his head chuckling. "Again?"
"Of course. Gotta keep up tradition." David steps closer like he did one year ago and takes a deep breath. Matteo breaths in and they stare at each other holding their breath. One. Two. Three. David steps closer and kisses him. Matteo breaths out.
Smiling David claps his hand. "I won."
"That's not fair you cheated! You can't do that again."
"I just did."
They sit down on the middle of the deep end. David leaning against the wall with Matteo's head in his lap.
"Y'know I'd never thought I'd get this."
"Get what?" David looks down at Matteo.
"Well, when I met you I was so deep in the closet and denial that I never thought I could be out. Let alone have a boyfriend."
"Mh. I can understand what you mean. I never really thought I could be in a relationship with anyone."
"Have I told you about what happened with Hanna?" David shook his head. Matteo pushes himself up so he's sitting next to him. He looks up at the ceiling.
"The school year before you transferred was hard. For everyone I think but I made a mistake with Hanna and Jonas that I still regret. I basically broke them up." Matteo looks over and David nods at him, silently saying that its okay to keep going. Matteo breaths in deeps and exhales. Like he's trying to sike himself up for what he's about to say. He moves his head so he looking at the ceiling again.
"So, Hanna had made out with some popular senior at his party while she was still dating Jonas. They were fighting for a while before this but still excuse what I did. She told me. That she cheated and I was like, if my girlfriend." He laughs, "If my girlfriend kissed someone else I wouldn't want to know. Which is really shitty advice in hindsight."
"It really it." David laughs grabbing his hand. Matteo looks down and starts to play with David's fingers.
"Well, she took it and didn't tell Jonas. I didn't either. Until it went around the school that Sam, the senior had kissed someone at the party and I kinda told Sam's girlfriend that I was Hanna's boyfriend. I told her what happened. That Hanna was the one that kissed Sam. And that just snowballed out of control there was a fight between the girls and his girlfriend. I forget her name." He breaths again. David reaches over and grabs his face. Holding him in his hands.
"You don't need to tell me. If its too hard right now. You don't need to." Matteo smiles slightly and kisses him. It slow and cold. David's hands are freezing.
"Your hands are fucking freezing." Matteo whispers when pulls away. They laugh, probably too much for a small joke. Well not even a joke more of an observation. Matteo holds David's hand again and keeps talking.
"I was jealous. Of Hanna and Jonas. Of Hanna having Jonas. I can recognize now that I definitely liked him. I don't think I could have admitted then."
"And now?"
"And now what?"
"With Jonas?"
"What with Jonas?" He furrows his eyebrows looking at David like he's an idiot. "Everything I felt or thought I felt about Jonas disappeared the minute I saw you. Idiot." David laughs exhaling through his nose and smiles at him,
"Just checking." He says teasingly. Matteo rolls his eyes and shakes his head.
"Well, yeah that's kinda it. Once Jonas found out he broke up with her. And then Hanna figured out it was me and I lied and said that I liked her."
"Matteo, you weren't the only thing that went wrong with that relationship. There were things that built before she kissed Sam, right?"
"I mean yeah. She thought that Jonas was cheating on her with his ex who he cheated in with Hanna."
"Jesus. You guys are a bunch." Matteo smiles.
"Yep."
"Anyway, you said they were fighting and it doesn't look like Hanna trusted him. You weren't the reason they broke up. Hanna messed up when she kissed Sam and should've gone to Jonas not you." Matteo doesn't answer. He scooches over so he's half sitting on David's lap facing him. He pulls David into a tight hug burying his face into David neck and sweatshirt. David wraps his arms around him tightly like he's making sure he's real. They stay like that for how long? They don't know. They don't need to know. When David finally breaks the hug he pulls Matteo into his lap and rests their foreheads together.
"You're not the only person whose done stupid shit because they liked someone."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, I ate a sandwich with whipped cream and pickles on it because I liked you."
"That gay."
"Matteo!" He pulls back from him pushing him making him almost fall off David's lap. "I'm trying to be sentimental here."
Laughing while trying to gain his balance back, " Right. Right. Sorry."
"Anyways, What's I'm trying to say is don't beat yourself up about it. Hanna and Jonas are fine and you're fine."
"Thanks." He says quietly. David looks around them. "It hasn't felt like a year. In a way I still feel like I'm going to wake up and be back where I was. Alone and constantly on guard of everyone that looked at me." Matteo leans his head on David's shoulders.
"You're not alone." He says. "You were never alone."
"I know that. I know that now. I have Laura. The boys. And you. I have you. Matteo, you have no idea how much you have done for me." David arms are wrapped tightly around Matteo's waist. "You made me realize that I can be happy. That I wasn't goi-"
"Shouldn't." Matteo says, "No one should ever go through anything alone."
"That I shouldn't go through this alone." He kisses Matteo's head. They're silent, listening to each other's breathing. The echo of their voices still bouncing off the walls.
"I love you, y'know that?"
"You tell me all the time."
"No seriously, I. Love. You." David looks at Matteo, he's never been this serious. Other than when be was yelling at him when he found him.
"I know I don't show it in the most conventional way but I do."
"I know you do. I love you too. I like how you show love. It's intimate and unique. You show love in a very Matteo way." Matteo smiles. He knows he doesn't show his appreciation and love for David the way others do or would. He can't verbalize how much he means to him. There's no way to say how much David has had an impact on him. How he changed his view on life. His view on himself.
"Is it March in this pool, too?" David pushes him off his lap.
"I am never going to live that down."
"You make fun of me for the sandwiches. I make fun of you for the bus. This is how this works."
"Is it?"
"Mhm." He nods and David moves closer. Their noses almost touching. Their faces are red and flushed, unable to tell if its because of each other or the cold. Probably both.
"I love you, too. I don't know if I said that."
"I know."
"Good."