"You look, great mum," Jessie said, sounding a bit exasperated.
I was looking critically in the mirror. I was wearing tight black trousers, showing off my long legs and I was wearing my high heeled black leather boots with them, that was all fine. But the t-shirt I was wearing was new. Well, not completely new, but I'd dumped it in the bottom of a drawer after impulse buying it in a sale. The colour was a beautiful deep dark red, which is why I bought it, but it was just a bit too small.
"It's supposed to be like that! It's stretchy, not baggy," Jessie didn't see the problem. The problem being, that it was just too tight around my breasts and the cleavage was just a bit too deep for my comfort.
I pulled at the hemline, trying to hide what my bra was so generously pushing upwards.
"Stop pulling at it, you'll pull it out of shape!" Jessie took my hand and pulled it down. "You look amazing."
I looked at myself in the mirror again. My long dark hair was tumbling in curly waves over my shoulders and back. The hair straightener had broken just as I was about to use it on my hair, so it had dried in its natural wavy shape instead. I actually liked it better that way, I realised, wearing it straight always made me look a bit severe.
I was wearing more make-up than my usual lipgloss and mascara combination as well, the smokey eyeliner accentuating my brown eyes and red lipstick glistening on my lips.
I did look great, it just wasn't quite my style.
"Or perhaps I should wear something else…" I hesitated.
"Or perhaps you could join the convent and become a nun so you can wear a habit for the rest of your life!"
Jessie grabbed a short black leather jacket from the wardrobe and tossed it at me. "Just wear this over it if you have to!"
"It will make me look like a biker chick!"
Jessie rolled her eyes. I put on the jacket, which did nothing to hide the generous amount of cleavage I was showing. Jess, however, had enough and started pushing me towards the door.
"Will you just go, poor Loki has been waiting for you for ages!"
Loki had been waiting for a long time. He had dinner with us, as usual, and then had gone for a shower and to change in the guest room.
I'm normally not one of these women who takes hours to get ready. I'll throw on some clothes, put on some lipgloss, run a brush through my hair and I'm ready to go. But tonight had been different. I wanted to look amazing.
I was expecting to find Loki in the sitting room, reading a book in his favourite chair, but he was pacing up and down the hallway.
'Oh great,' I thought to myself, 'he's annoyed I made him wait so long.'
He looked up as I came bounding down the stairs, almost tripping over my own feet.
"Sorry, I'm so late…" I started.
"Oh, my, you look…" Loki said at the same time.
We both chuckled awkwardly.
"I'm sorry I took so long," I said nervously.
Loki eyed me from top to toe, his gaze lingering as he smiled appreciatively.
"And I was going to say 'You look amazing.' You truly do. Well worth waiting for," he smiled and winked, taking my breath away.
Loki was wearing black trousers and a black silk-blend button down shirt that fit snugly, accentuating his broad shoulders and narrow hips. His hair was a bit longer now than when we had first started to work together, curling around his collar and down to his shoulders. He was wearing the long charcoal grey coat that looked so amazing on him, and a green scarf dangled loosely around his neck.
"Shall we?" Loki gallantly offered me his arm.
I wish I could tell you what we talked about as we walked to London together, I really do. But I was so nervous, I think I just babbled the whole way about anything that came up in my head. Even Loki couldn't get a word in edgewise, and that is saying something.
"After you," Loki, always the gentleman, held the door of the pub open for me. It was busy that night. Loki put his hand on the small of my back, gently guiding me through the crowd. "They're there, in the back."
Standing on my tippy toes I could see the table in the back over the crowd. I sighed in relief, they were all friends.
Cedric was there of course. Next to him sat Jen. Small, wiry, with short black hair with neon blue ends, Jen was pretty. Jen was Canadian, second-generation Korean. She was a Bee like me, and we had worked together before. She saw me and waved.
I could see Matt and Calinda as well. Matt was tall, with red hair and freckles and built like a wardrobe. He was an American ex-Navy SEAL, now working for the Templars after getting his Bee. Calinda was his work partner, she had worked as a police detective before she got hers. Calinda was dark and striking, casually wrapping an arm around one of her girlfriends.
Everyone in the Horned God seemed to know Loki, and he seemed to know everyone's name. Smiling and laughing he made his way through the crowd, shaking hands and patting backs as he went along.
"Ah, there they are!" Cedric greeted us warmly. "I was starting to wonder if you two would make it! Sorry, we only just ordered a round, but let me get you something to drink!"
"It's fine," Loki smiled, "I'm standing up anyway, I'll get us something. What would you like?"
I hesitated. I normally don't drink, for reasons I'm sure I'll go into another time. "Just a sparkling mineral water, please," I smiled at him.
I slid into the booth next to Calinda, putting my coat behind me. It had been a while since I'd seen everyone, and we were soon catching up.
Loki slid in beside me and handed me my drink.
"What have you got there?" I asked Loki curiously.
" I thought I'd join you since you're not drinking tonight."
I took the cocktail glass out of his hand. The drink inside it was green, and it had a little umbrella in it with fruit speared on it. It smelled like banana, lime and rum. I took a sip, it tasted the way it smelled.
"There's rum in here," I grinned at him.
Loki crinkled his nose and winked. "Human alcohol, it doesn't affect me. I need to order from their special menu if I want to get drunk."
"It's a banana daiquiri, isn't it? It's nice." I took another sip.
Loi rolled his eyes at me. "You truly are the most infuriating person I know, you know that? Fine, I'll get myself another drink." his words may have sounded annoyed, but his eyes twinkled. I happily took another sip.
As always, when a bunch of us meet, the conversation soon turns to war stories. Loki is a great storyteller, and we were soon all hanging on his every word. Even I was, and I knew the story already.
"...cautiously we made our way up the stairs, the unnatural sound becoming louder and louder. It was the most blood-curdling thing I'd ever heard, and it was easy to understand why the family had called in for aid.
We followed the sound into a bedroom, slowly making our way so as not to disturb what lay within.
I summoned a dagger in one hand, and opened the wardrobe with the other, safe in the knowledge Sorcha was readying her magic behind me. The rung inside the wardrobe had fallen down, hiding whatever was making these unearthly wails underneath a pile of old coats.
I carefully lifted the clothes with my dagger, steeling myself for the horrors that would surely lie beneath..."
"It was a Furby!" I howled, unable to contain myself any longer. A peal of laughter went up around the table. "It had been in the bottom of the wardrobe for years, and the family had forgotten all about it. It must have been jolted awake as the rung fell down!"
"Are you telling the story, or am I?" Loki was laughing despite himself.
"Team effort!" Cedric grinned. "One of my favourite stories is about the first time I met Sorcha."
"Oh no," I moaned quietly, knowing exactly what Cedric was referring to. I began to slide down my seat as if to hide under the table. Loki's leg had been pressed against mine all evening, and now he put a hand firmly on my leg as if to stop me from sliding down.
He bent his head closer to mine, and said quietly, "Surely it can't be that bad!"
"Oh, it's worse!" I answered morosely.
"...vampires had desecrated and made a nest in an ancient temple in a small village in China. The troubleshooter had warned me that a Templar had arrived shortly before me. I started making my way up the mountain, and soon lighting was striking down all around me, and a huge hammer went flying over my head."
Loki's hand was still on my leg, very slowly sliding higher.
"By the time I got to the top, it had gone quiet. I took my pistol from its holster, not certain who had won the battle. Out of the temple walked a woman covered in blood, wearing a t-shirt with puppies on it and sensible shoes. I figured it had to be one of the vampire's thralls, the thought she might be one of our own never crossed my mind. I aimed my pistol and bared my fangs.
To my surprise, she whipped out, and I kid you not, a bottle of garlic mayonnaise, and splurted it all over my suit. 'And I've got more where that come from!' she yelled angrily at me!"
I hid my face in the nearest place I could, which happened to be against Loki's chest.
"I didn't have any fresh garlic in the house, and I thought that perhaps garlic mayonnaise would work as well!" My voice was muffled. I was laughing myself, I had still been so new to the Secret World back then.
"It was a ten thousand dollar worth suit, Versace's summer collection!" Cerdic bemoaned.
I could feel Loki's body shake with laughter as he put his arm around me and gently patted my head.
"Stop embarrassing the poor girl, she's mortified," Loki chuckled.
"I'm okay," I sat back up again and wiped my hair out of my face, "and I did offer to pay for Cedric's drycleaning."
Loki's arm slipped from my shoulder down to my waist, his hand gently caressing my stomach. His other hand was still on my leg and slowly began sliding upwards again.
My whole body was tingling, and I could have sworn everyone at the table could see what was happening underneath the table just from the way I had started to breathe faster. I put my hand over his hand on my leg, and he intertwined his fingers with mine. Loki's hand was warm and strong, his thumb gently caressing my fingers. I looked at him from under my eyelashes, but he wasn't looking at me. He seemed to be paying full attention to the conversation around the table, a sly smile playing around his lips.
"What do you think, Sorcha?" Jen asked. I hadn't been paying attention to the conversation at all, I had been completely focused on Loki and the effect he was having on my body.
"Sorry, about what now?" I asked, sounding flustered. Loki gave my hand a squeeze under the table and his mischievous grin became wider. He knew what he was doing to me, he knew!
"John Wolf and Jack Boone, are they a couple or just work friends? What do you think?"
Wolf and Boone were the troubleshooters who'd helped me on Solomon Island. I had met them a few times since.
"I don't know," I stumbled over my words. "Maybe they are just good friends, or maybe more. Or maybe just people who work together but love each other in a totally platonic way, or maybe it's love."
Wow, great job Sorcha, I thought to myself sarcastically.
"I think t doesn't matter, it's none of our business as long as they are happy," Calinda smiled.
"What do you think, Loki?" Matt asked.
"I don't care, as long as they are having fun doing it," Loki said with a wink.
"Loki doesn't believe in love," Cedric grinned.
"What?" I turned to face Loki in disbelief.
"I don't," Loki confirmed. "Physical attraction, obviously. But love? No, love is an illusion, a lie the weak tell themselves in a desperate attempt to stave off the loneliness all of us inevitably find ourselves living in."
I was perplexed. "But that's like saying you don't believe in gravity."
"I believe in what is real. In what I can see with my own eyes."
"You can't see gravity either," I pointed out.
"Oh, but I can," Loki argued stubbornly. He untangled his fingers from mine and picked up a glass from the table. In one quick motion, he smashed it on the floor where it shattered into pieces.
"ANOTHER!" Cedric and Matt promptly yelled at the same time.
Loki grinned at them. "Shush you two, I'm making a point here."
The conversation around the table had moved on, but Loki and I weren't done yet with our own argument.
"You see, gravity I can see, I can feel, I can prove. Can you say the same about love?"
"Love you can see and feel too. If you can't, well, you just aren't looking hard enough," I said stubbornly. "But it is there. Parents that love their children, siblings that love each other, soulmates that find one another against all odds and spend the rest of their lives together. Old couples that die days apart because they can't live without the other. It is real, you just have to look."
Loki frowned and his eyes studied mine, as he so often did, as if he was looking for something he was afraid to find. His hand took mine under the table again and firmly placed it on his own leg, holding tight while sliding my hand higher and higher.
"Prove it," he said hoarsely, "show me that there is more than this, more than just people groping around to find a pleasure that is only fleeting."
I was mesmerised by his eyes, by his voice, unable to resist as his hand moved mine higher. His breathing became as rapid as mine, his eyes dark as his pupils dilated. He licked his lips as if his mouth was suddenly dry.
"Show me something that is real, something that is true, because I want you, but I want more than just passion, I need more than that!"
My hand slid higher and I could feel how much he wanted me, while at the same time the desperation in his voice told me how much he needed me. I could barely breathe, I wanted him so much too. The others at the table had been forgotten, for a moment only the two of us existed.
"I would love to show you how much more there is than just that, but we can't, not while you wear that collar." I hated myself for saying it, it would have been so easy to let him sweep me off my feet there and then.
"If you could, would you remove it?"
"Yes," I answered without hesitation.
"Then that is enough for me," Loki breathed. We quickly said our goodbyes and left the Horned God as fast as we could.