Diary Of A Camp Mascot - Entry Two

Guess who's back! That's right, everyone's favorite little camp mascot, Buttons. In my first entry, I covered the most favorite people in my world. I guess I should probably cover the people who are in the middle and then those who are on my definitely not favorite list.

I guess all the other men in the camp can go in the middle rank. There's a couple men I really like in Barracks 1, but other than that, it's only what I call Hogan's Team and Maisie that are my top humans. Everyone else is below them, and at most, I tolerate them. I let them give me pats and slip me food now and then, but I have my favorite people, and I don't mind them knowing that at all. If someone other than who I like tries to call me over, I ignore them. I choose to associate with them on my terms, not theirs. After all, they need to know who really rules this camp. Me.

Now we get to what Hogan calls Germans. I don't understand why humans have different names when they're all the same. The Germans do speak differently, though. I quickly learned that. I also learned that Maisie and Hogan don't trust them, so I don't trust them either. There's only two people who are Germans that I like; Kommandant Klink and Sergeant Schultz. The rest of them I don't like. The guards I stay away from, except for one young boy who reminds me of Carter. I don't mind him, but the rest, I don't go near. I especially don't like Hochstetter, but I'm jumping the gun by mentioning that.

Kommandant Klink. Apparently he's the one in charge here, though I highly disagree with that. He might be the one seated behind the desk in the big office, but no, he's not the one who's running this camp. He just thinks he does when it's really Hogan directing the whole show. I guess Klink isn't really all that bad. I mean, he does seem to like me. I guess after being here for a year he's slowly starting to grow on me. He's alright, but he's not a favorite as much as I like Hogan or his men. Sometimes I'll go into his office while he's not in and have a little fun knocking things off his desk. It's one of my favorite kinds of mischief that I get up to. That and chewing on his papers. Come to think of it, I also really like taking naps in his chair. Huh. Perhaps I do like him more than I first realized.

Good old Schultz, he most definitely is my favorite German. He always has a tasty morsel in his pocket just for me; a little cheese here, a little sausage there. I show him plenty of affection in return, mostly by waking him up with my cold nose when he falls asleep on guard duty. He likes it when I rub against his boots. He always stops to give me a pat or a hug if he has the time. Sometimes I think Hogan is a little mean to Schultz, but that is humans for you. And they think we're the strange species.

Then there's General Burkhalter… He's Klink's commanding officer, and it is absolutely something funny to watch when he comes to visit. Klink really doesn't like the thought of going to a place they call 'The Russian Front', and it is very amusing when the general threatens him with that. I don't know where that place is, but by the way Klink behaves when that topic comes up, it doesn't seem like a place I'd like to visit. The general isn't too bad, I guess. He treats Maisie really well, so there's that. He doesn't seem to mind me, either. He'll give me a pat if I'm curled up in one of the chairs in Klink's office. I think underneath his act of being hard and tough, he's really pretty nice. I think I'm a pretty good judge of character, don't you?

Another person I should mention is General Klink. Yes, that's right. Kommandant Klink has a brother who is a general. I don't see him very often, but he drops in from time to time to check on Maisie or help Hogan with whatever business it is that he does. I think he's on our side. I'm not really sure. I haven't had much of a chance to get to know him, but he keeps Hochstetter on a leash, so I think he's pretty good.

Hochstetter. Ugh. Even his name just makes me want to hack up hairballs in his boots. If there is one person I hate, it most definitely, certainly, without a shadow of doubt, is Hochstetter. He's always yelling, it scares the hebbedy-jebbedys out of me! I really don't like him, and he doesn't like me. It's the only thing we both agree on. Our first meeting wasn't exactly a good meeting, especially when I climbed up the inside of his trousers. Yep, my little claws are pretty sharp, especially back when I was a kitten. Apparently, it was rather amusing, because Hogan was laughing like crazy about it. That really deep laugh he makes when he's really happy. Everyone else thought it was funny, too, so I guess I did something right? After that, however, both of us go out of our way to ignore each other when he comes to visit. One of these days, though, he's going to push me too far, and I'll be happy to let him know my claws are as sharp as ever.

I guess that just about covers my introduction now, and it would appear that we've finished just in time. It sounds like Colonel Hogan is returning to his office- Ah, yep. He has, with a giant stack of paperwork that he places on his desk. Time for me to go show him some kitty affection while he tries to work. Buttons out.

Meow.