It was a lazy Saturday morning. I was doing dishes and Loki was ironing his shirts. The cats were chasing a fly around the kitchen. So was Thor.
"Small zaps please Thor, I don't want to have to change the fuses again," I warned him.
Thor just frowned. "This insect vexes me, it's incessant buzzing is driving me to distraction!"
The fly flew into the hallway, Thor and the cats chasing after it.
"Sometimes I wonder how we could possibly be related," Loki said dryly and shook his head. "Then I remember with a sigh of relief that we aren't."
I grinned at him.
"Talking about distractions, do you have to do your ironing shirtless?"
"If I had a shirt left I wouldn't be ironing," Loki explained.
"You object?" He winked at me.
"No, I don't object, it's just… distracting," I said as I eyed his athletic body appreciatively. His muscles rippled under his flawless skin as he expertly ironed his shirt, his black hair tumbling down his back. Even now it was still hard to believe sometimes he was mine, that he wanted me as much as I wanted him.
Despite my thoughts, I stifled a yawn.
"And yet the view seems to bore you," Loki teased.
"I'm not bored, I'll never bore of that view. I'm just tired." I hadn't slept well that night.
"That was my fault," Loki realised. "Did my nightmares keep you awake?"
"That was only part of it, I had bad dreams of my own." Seeing the concern in his eyes I reassured him quickly. "Not the Dreamers, just normal dreams."
One thing the other Bees I met had in common was terrible nightmares sent to them by the Dreamers. I never had those, and I didn't know why. Loki thought it was because I had spoken to the Dreamers directly, after Loki and I fought when I had disappeared into the portal. Loki believed that they couldn't affect me because I had rejected them. Because my will was too strong. Thor insisted it was because I stood under Thor's protection.
Maybe it was a bit of everything, I didn't really know myself.
"You were there too after the Gaia prison was partially breached." I suddenly realised. "Do you the Dreamers ever give you nightmares?" I wondered.
"No, never," Loki answered. "I have plenty of demons and nightmares of my own. Between those and my bad memories, it is probably crowded enough in my head even to scare the Dreamers away."
There was something about the way he avoided my eyes, the way his face was kept carefully blank.
"You are lying!" I realised.
"Most certainly not. I would never lie to you." Loki put down the iron and took me in his arms. I slid my own arms around his bare shoulders and pulled his head down.
"That is a lie too," I said.
"True. I lie, but not about things that truly matter. Not to you."
His blue eyes met mine, his face serious. "I've never had a nightmare sent by the Dreamers. Trust me."
I studied his face for a moment. I believed him. So why had I thought he had lied before?
The cats came running into the kitchen, followed by Thor who knocked over one of the kitchen chairs. The fly buzzed around the table and flew back into the hallway again.
I hid my face against Loki's chest, trying not to laugh. I could feel Loki's shoulders shake with suppressed laughter, and we both burst out laughing as our eyes met.
"He is such an utter buffoon!" Loki was practically cackling with laughter.
"You know, the sight of him chasing that fly makes me miss having a dog!"
"Loki!"
I laughed despite myself, the way Thor was bounding around did remind me a bit of a young dog.
"We always had hounds, growing up," Loki reminisced. "I invariably named mine Fenrir."
"Ah, that's where that whole myth comes from," I realised.
Loki nodded.
"What about the serpent, Jörmungandr?" I asked curiously.
"No idea," Loki shrugged. "The Poetic Edda is as full of fancy as those fanfics one can find nowadays on the internet. It's mostly a lot of nonsense.
Thor was the one who loved snakes as a child."
"But your armour is decorated with them."
"It's all about imagery," Loki winked. "Snakes have forked tongues, which people associate with clever lies. They are dangerous with their poisonous fangs, just like I am with my daggers. And they have the ability to shed their skin on a regular occasion, which back then was considered similar to changing shape. It felt appropriate."
It was rare for Loki to be so talkative about his past. I could hear Thor and the cats run up the stairs. As long as I had Loki alone and talking, I might as well ask a few more questions.
"What about your helmet, with the horns?"
"Heh." Loki hesitated for a second, a small crease appearing between his brows as he considered how to answer. His eyes met mine.
"It makes me look taller," he admitted with what was half a wince and half a smile.
I looked at him in surprise.
"You try being the smallest one all your life!" Loki sounded a bit wounded.
I stood on my tippy toes and kissed his lips.
"I think you are the perfect height," I smiled. It was the right thing to say, as I was promptly rewarded with a kiss in return.
"One of your cats ate the fly!" Thor interrupted us after a while.
"Are you… disappointed?" Loki asked incredulously. "Didn't you say it's buzzing vexed you?"
"Well yes," Thor admitted, "but it was great fun to chase it!"
Loki scoffed and rolled his eyes.
The cats came into the kitchen as well, looking at Loki expectantly.
"Oh fine! Very well," Loki said irritably, and his eyes flashed green. "Have another one then!"
Soon another fly buzzed around the table and flew into the hallway, promptly chased by the cats.
"Wait… that first fly! That was one of your illusions too!" Thor realised.
"Loki!" I shook my head trying not to laugh.
Loki looked at me innocently. "What? It keeps them entertained and out from underneath our feet while we are busy!"
Life had become slightly easier since Thor's failed attempt at flight. Loki and Thor both seemed to have realised they'd pushed things too far. And while they still argued and played pranks on each other, it was more lighthearted than before.
I suspected that the way Thor had carried Loki home after he'd gotten so drunk and had tried to start a fight had made a difference too.
They both seemed to have finally remembered that being brothers meant more than just fighting and pranks, that it meant having each other's backs too.
"I know he still has those terrible nightmares some nights," Thor had confided in me that night after he had carried Loki to bed for me. We were sitting down on the stairs. I had no idea what to say, I just hoped Thor wasn't thinking less of Loki, and wouldn't say anything mean. I didn't have the energy to get into yet another fight with one of the Odinsons.
"He's had them since he was little. He used to wake me up. Once, when we were small, one of our nursemaids decided it would be better for us to sleep in separate rooms so Loki's bad dreams wouldn't disturb me.
She'd have a habit of drinking a nightcap or two after she thought we were asleep. I'd wait until she'd fall asleep in her chair, then I'd sneak out of bed, and take my blankets and Thor-Bear and…"
"Wait," I interrupted, unable to help myself, "Thor-Bear?"
"Yes, I had a stuffed bear named Thor-Bear," Thor nodded.
"You named your stuffed bear 'Thor-Bear?'? Why?" I tried very hard not to giggle.
"Because it would get too confusing if he was called Thor or well, or so Loki said. I tried getting people to call me 'Asgardian Thor' but that never stuck, so Thor-Bear became Thor-Bear instead," Thor said as if that explained everything.
"So, as I said, I used to take my blankets and Thor-Bear and sneak into Loki's room and sleep on the floor, just so I'd be there when he woke up from his nightmares. So he wouldn't feel so scared and alone."
Unbidden tears welled up in my eyes and I tried to swallow away the lump that suddenly appeared in my throat at the thought of a young Thor looking after his little brother like that.
"Once our nurse realised, she tanned my hide for disobeying.
Mother found out and chased her out of the palace. I've never seen Mother so vexed. Not even when Loki changed the labels on all her potion bottles and she had no idea which one was which.
After that, Mother took me to the side, gave me a big hug and a honey cake and told me that Loki was different from me, that he needed looking after at times. That he'd find his own path eventually, but until then it'd be up to me to have his back. That I'd have to carry him sometimes until he could stand on his own feet.
I might have forgotten about that for a while, but I remembered her words tonight."
I started to realise that the big blond giant by my side might not have been the brightest, but he had the biggest heart possible. I wiped the tears from my eyes and kissed Thor's bearded cheek.
He smiled at me in surprise.
"What did I do to deserve that?"
"Thank you," I said softly. "Thank you for remembering tonight."
Thor wrapped his arm around me and I leaned against him for a while.
"I love you, you know that?" I said impulsively. "I haven't had a brother in a really long time. It's nice to have you around."
"I love you too," Thor rumbled. "I've never had a sister before, but I'm starting to like it."
"You know it annoys the life out of Loki when you call me that, don't you?"
I smiled at Thor. Thor smiled back and winked. "That's part of what makes it so much fun!"
Loki tried to apologise to me the day after, but I told him there was no need. I could see the hurt, and the shame, in his eyes.
"I told you before it was going to be hard and complicated to fix what was broken, to correct your mistakes and to keep your promises."
Loki nodded, he remembered that conversation as well, back in his apartment when he had gotten so drunk and smashed up his guitar.
"Can you remember what else I told you?"
"That I was the strongest person you know?"
I nodded, "You are, you know."
Loki just eyed me in disbelief, his hair dishevelled, his eyes bloodshot.
"And I told you something else as well."
Loki shook his head, not sure what I meant.
"That we were going to do it together."
I took his face in my hands.
"You are not alone. You get to make mistakes, you get to make the wrong choices, it doesn't matter, I'll be here by your side. We'll pick up the pieces together and start again. I am not leaving you. You don't have to prove yourself, not to me, I love you just the way you are."
Loki closed his eyes.
"It isn't easy to love me, is it?" he asked. He was trying to smile wryly, but his voice cracked.
"Loving you is the easiest thing I've ever done. It comes as natural as breathing and I can't stop, I won't stop, until I the day die. And even after that, I'll still love you."
"How am I ever supposed to go back to a life without you? How did I ever live without your love, your light, your unwavering faith in me?
You always know exactly what to say to make me feel better.
If I were to ask now, would you still agree to marry me?"
Loki's eyes met mine, always searching for the truth behind my words.
"I'd elope right now if you ask me to," I said without hesitation.
"No, you deserve more than that," Loki said softly. " I am only planning on marrying you once, and that memory will have to last us a few thousand years."
His dazzling eyes suddenly smiled into mine, his love for me shining so brightly that even I could not deny it was truly there.
"When I marry you, it will be perfect. It will be glorious."