Author's note: thanks for your continued support. Of course, it will go in an obvious direction, won't it?

Barbara stared at the amusement ride. Above the door, two-foot high brothel-red were letters screamed: "Portmouth's One & Only Tunnel of Love". Beneath it in black, dripping as if written in blood it read, "Grab your sweetheart and have some fun."

"Not by the neck," Winston said with a ridiculous schoolboy grin.

"Oh, grow up, Constable."

She stared back at the ride. Grubby, slightly oily and artificially blue water flowed across the front. White cars with plastic red seats were festooned with love hearts painted to look like they were pulsating, bobbed in the water waiting for the bums of the next intrepid lovers game to take on the challenge. The cars were individual. Although short-backed, they had smooth rear ends with nowhere anyone could hide. She watched as an empty car pulled out, followed by a second at least 10 seconds behind. At that interval, it would be impossible for someone in the following car to strangle someone.

She wandered back to the group who were loitering near the carousel and sidled up to Tommy. "Single boats, no place to hide. The boat behind is too far for anyone to reach."

He nodded. "I suspected that. Thanks."

"It's three pounds per ride, or two for a fiver."

"Okay, a double circuit perhaps?"

She shrugged. "Yeah, I guess."

"Right," Tommy said in a clear signal the team should gather around. Tommy had brought down three uniformed officers, including to Winston's delight, Sandra Williamson, Nkata's latest flame. They were all in civilian clothes so as to blend in, but Barbara felt like they screamed "Police". As they gathered, Tommy continued. "Stuart Lafferty has confirmed that the toxicology results show that both victims had sedatives in their bodies. Lafferty found a puncture wound on the neck of Tracy Parkins. The working theory is that he injected her, rendering her immobile and probably unconscious, then strangled her."

"Which is why Betts didn't notice," Winston said.

Tommy nodded. "Yes. The question is how. As you can see, it would be impossible to hide on the same boat or reach from the one travelling behind. So, someone must be inside the tunnel."

Barbara wasn't convinced. "But surely if someone did that, Betts would have felt them land on the boat - it would have rocked."

Tommy shrugged. "Yes, or he walked beside it."

"In calf deep water without making a splash? That's not as easy as you think, especially if you're strangling and injecting people."

"Fair point. So, as there is no CCTV anywhere around here, we need to test the theory that someone could get in, murder Parkin and get out unseen, or at least without arousing suspicion. Havers, you and Nkata will travel in the first car. Williamson, you and Butler will be in the second. I want you to look like normal lovers, but keep an eye out for anywhere it would be possible for someone to act."

Winston and Barbara stared at each other in equal horror. "No," she said first, "no, I'm sorry but it wouldn't be appropriate for me to be paired with Winston."

Tommy raised his eyebrow, just a single one, a movement that infuriated her because she could never do it. "Why not?"

Everyone was staring at her. She realised some thought she was being racist. Her neck coloured in anger and embarrassment. "It's not age appropriate. I'd look like some sort of cougar."

"I see," Tommy said with a straight face. "Well, we can't have that." He made some sort of growling noise which made everyone snigger until they lost it and began to openly laugh, even Barbara.

"Constable Williamson and I will do it," Winston said.

Tommy shook his head. "No, I'm sorry, you two might get too carried away and miss details. I really want Sergeant Havers or myself to go in. We have more... experience."

Barbara felt her face heat as everyone tried to hide their smiles.

"I'll go with you, Inspector," Williamson said.

"No," Barbara and Winston said in perfect unison.

Tommy's ears twitched, which Barbara knew was a sure sign he was embarrassed. Tommy coughed then turned to Williamson. "Thank you, but that's also age-inappropriate."

Williamson shrugged. Barbara overheard Winston hiss, "what are you doing?" The young constable simply grinned.

"Well, someone's got to do it," Butler said, sighing heavily as he folded his arms. Barbara looked around. the only other pairing was her with Butler. There's no way I'm going in there with that oversized rodent.

"Sir, actually, I think it has to be us. We sit next to each other in a car most days. I'm sure we can sit in a boat for ten minutes."

Tommy smiled. "As long as you're comfortable, Sergeant. I don't want any harassment complaints."

Barbara saw the expressions on everyone's faces, a mix of salacious curiosity and fear. "There won't be. Come on, let's get it over with." She turned and walked towards the ride.

"Remember to look like you're in love," Winston called out behind her.

Tommy held Barbara's hand as he helped her into the boat. It was warm and very dry. He eased himself down to minimise the wobble, but the boat still rocked, and they slid together. When he tried to move apart a little, he realised that the seats subtlely sloped towards the centre. Clever trick.

He smiled at her and leant forward. "You look scared of me. Try to relax."

Barbara grunted. "I'm not scared of you. I just feel... ludicrous."

The boat slowly edged forward towards the gaping entrance. There were still two boats before they would enter the tunnel. He took her hand and stretched his other arm around her then leant into her neck.

Barbara froze. "What are you doing?"

"Acting like we're in love. Just pretend I'm that pimply-faced boy you were mad about at school."

"I was never mad about anyone like that, regardless of their acne status." Tommy kissed her neck. She jumped. "That's going too far."

"What if it's the ride operator?" he whispered in her ear, feeling her skin tremble against his lips. "We need to look convincing, not like two grizzled old cops."

Barbara leant into his shoulder. "We are two grizzled old cops."

Tommy kissed her ear. "Are we? Really? You don't feel grizzled to me."

"Shh, we're in next."

The boat lurched as the mechanism beneath it engaged with the track. Barbara's hand grabbed his leg to brace her body. He felt a pang of regret that this wasn't real.

The boat entered the tunnel and for the first few seconds, it was totally dark. Then there was a red glow up ahead. Barbara pushed herself away from Tommy. "They were holding hands. He was basking remember?"

"I do."

Barbara held his hand loosely but to her annoyance, Tommy tightened his grip. She sat back and watched as the boat crept through the tunnel past illuminated love hearts. Then something jumped out at her and there was laughter in the tunnel. "How's that supposed to make you love someone more?"

"It encourages people to snuggle closer," her boss said. She could hear his amusement.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, passing by animated dioramas of famous love scenes from books, most of which she had read.

Then it happened. "Arrrggghhhh!"

In the dull and intermittent light of the red lamps and rather amateurish moving figures, Tommy was watching the tunnel for any hiding spots. Beside him, Barbara screamed immediately before he was crushed by a heavy weight. What the...

"Something touched my neck," she said almost hysterically as her arms tightened around his shoulders, "something touched my neck!"

"It's okay." He turned and scanned the area behind the boat but could see nothing. "Did you feel a sting?"

She shook her head, bumping against his. "No. Just a brush like this." She stroked two fingers lightly across his neck.

He pulled her closer. "It's okay. You're fine. I won't let anything happen to you. Ever."

"I'm sorry." She tried to pull away, but he held her against him and softly kissed her hair until she relaxed against him. "I..."

"Shhh. It's fine. I'm sure it wasn't the murderer, but we are going to go through this place properly. This was a silly idea."

"No, it wasn't, Sir. It made sense. I think I saw something immediately before it. An alcove I think."

"Perfect. We get a team in and search. Meanwhile, you take it easy."

"I'm not soft."

He squeezed her gently. "I beg to differ." He chanced a small kiss. Barbara didn't respond, but she didn't move away. Then she returned the pressure. Her arms changed grip from fear to desire.

Barbara realised a bit too late that they were leaving the tunnel. As Tommy gently pulled away from her she could see Williamson, Butler and Nkata staring open-mouthed at them. She waved then leant back against Tommy. "They saw us," she whispered.

"I don't care." As they disappeared inside the tunnel, his lips caught hers again with a ferocity that could only come from a decade of pent-up desire.

As they edged towards the exit a second time, Tommy pulled away. "We... didn't see much."

"I know where the alcove is. You said you'd search it properly."

He nodded. "I did, didn't I. I'd forgotten about that."

They were both laughing as they brushed through the string curtain into the light. Tommy helped her off the boat, both of them studiously ignoring the three constables looking on.

"Hmm," Tommy said under his breath.

Barbara smiled and then walked past their colleagues. "What? We had to look convincing as lovers."

She walked on another twenty feet. It was only then that she realised that she was still holding Tommy's hand.