This is pure crazy bullshit. This is literally me just writing random shit and having fun. Non of this will make sense. Non of it at all. For the dirty minded, you know how on AO3 one of the tags is called, porn with plot. Well that is this WITH OUT the porn part. So this has no plot and will be random funny, slightly violent things. I will have a bunch of random one-shots I this, from lots of different fandoms, if you have a request just comment and if I know of the fandom then I will do my best to cause even more madness. Welcome to my multiverse of madness
Umbridge entered diagon Alley with her Malfoy hair coat and Voldemort arse skin handbag. She saw Potter and quick rushed over, pulling out her Snape nose sledge hammer she tried to steal his ears. For her collection of famous ears of course, she had George Weasley, Minister Fudge, Gilderoy Lockhart, Ablus Dumbledore (side note: tomb raiding is a tough work out) and soon Harry Potter's.
Voldie popped behind umbitch and booped the large swelling boil on the back of her beck say, "If my man main, money bags, Hazza P can saves the smart man's rock then you, a wild umbitch, can't do dicky bird shit."
Harry bitch slapped Tom saying how he want to scold the pink toad. Summoning a boxing ring, Lee Jordan grabbed a microphone, and began announcing, "Welcome Mother fuckers, MILFs, hags, codgers, rangas, since there's now a whole army of them, respectable shop keepers and children! To the diagon rumble! The biggest battle of the century!"
"Buts it's January 1st, of the year 2000, at 9am. We've only had 9 hours of this century." Point out Terry Boot before he summoned his broom, winked at Hermione who jumped on behind him and sped off. WTF?!?!
Harry, Umbitch, and the question mark guy from snapes rich cousin's 90s rich emo snapes cousins movie, you know, the guy from Dumb and Dumber, the one that gets stabbed in the arse whilst holding tomatoes in a cobbled Spanish street being chased by moo moos, sorry, cheeseburger flavoured goats, started trading blows.
Eventually Bruce walked in and gave Nico Di Angelo and Artemis Fowl the job of looking after that dead snobby guys snakey son. So they of course gave him to Mathias who had fun torturing the bastard. Minnie changed the toad into a really toad not that many adjustments had to be made, of course toads are now heavily regulated Class XXXXX creatures, you know, keeping people wary incase of an uprising.
Hazza broke up with Ginny and kissed Daphne Greengrass and admitted he'd loved her since 2nd year. Ah, Haphne, such a drama filled, saucy, spicy, lovely paring.
Idk what the fuck just happened but I have interjestgon, idk where I am or what the time is. I also lost the ability to spell, but I hope you enjoyed the confuse above.