It was early morning when Ahsoka finally opened her eyes after having the long, deep slumber that makes one forget where they are when they wake up. She groaned wearily as she rose, feeling a particular kind of ache and slowly recalling why. The worst part about getting a taste of the strap, she decided, was not being able to get the flavor out for a while. The lingering ache would serve as a humbling reminder of what she had been subjected to and why.
As Ahsoka gingerly stepped out of her bunk and went through the motions of readying herself for the day ahead, she reflected on the events of the day prior. She had rescued Senator Keteris, returned to Coruscant, and received a sound whipping from her master. The latter had helped her to see where she went wrong with her actions, but she was not and could not bring herself to be sorry for what she had done. She was only sorry to have disappointed her master, a fact of which she had been made painfully aware.
Despite the severity of the correction, Anakin had easily forgiven his padawan, having seen himself in her behavior. Ahsoka was grateful to have felt his forgiveness, but her bodily ache told another story. Never again, she vowed to herself, hoping she would be able to keep it.
Ahsoka opted for the softer surface of her bed to meditate upon, and she was grateful when her master knocked, interrupting the exercise that was made challenging by her nerves. He gave her a tentative smile when he entered, trying to assess her emotional state. Anakin wasn't sure if she would want to hold a grudge over the discipline she most certainly was still feeling the effects of.
"Morning, Snips," he said lightly. "How are you feeling?"
Ashoka grinned at him wryly. "You must know the answer to that, Master," she said, a little annoyed by the question.
Anakin sighed and pulled out her desk chair, taking a seat across from her. "I'm not going to apologize for disciplining you," he said sternly, but he took her hand and squeezed it to show his affection. "Tell me though, do you think your punishment was unjust?"
Ahsoka thought for a minute before answering, working through her emotions. "No... Maybe?" she said with hesitation.
"Why 'maybe?'" Anakin asked her patiently.
"Well for one, it's not over yet, is it? I'm still going to be grounded for who knows how long. And because... Because..."
"Because you're not sorry for saving the Separatist Senator, I know." Anakin completed her statement for her, fully aware of what was holding her up. "But I thought I was clear that I punished you for lying to me and being reckless, not for having noble motives. If you don't quite understand that, maybe I need to work on you some more."
Ahsoka stiffened at the subtle threat. "No, Master," she said quickly. "I'm not trying to be stubborn, and I was telling the truth when I said I was sorry for not communicating with you, really. I'm just nervous about having to face the Council is all."
"Well, I'm nervous too, but you do deserve it. You've been disciplined only for your offense against me, but you stepped outside your role again, and that's a problem for your place in the Order. The Council doesn't take that lightly, and they're going to correct you for it. I don't think I can make you sorry for everything you did, but I know they can."
"Well that feels a little unfair," she confessed. "I did them a huge favor, and sometimes that means stepping outside of your role."
Anakin groaned quietly because he didn't disagree with her, but he also knew the consequences of encouraging reckless behavior. She had taught him that by inviting his discipline and instruction over it. As he schooled his expression and demeanor to emulate one of wisdom and authority, he thought he had never related to Obi-Wan more in his life.
"Snips, I'm sorry I let you think you can get away with doing whatever you want... You can't. When you do get caught, you just have to accept what you earned and try to move on. I know it's hard, especially when you don't agree, but when you're being disciplined you have to meet them halfway, or you'll only make it harder on yourself... And I don't want that for you, so I need you to try to shape up and check your attitude, okay? Can you do that for me?"
What was left of Ahsoka's iron will was made more pliable by her master's speech, and she nodded respectfully. "Yes, Master," she conceded.
"Thank you," he replied, giving her a warm smile. "Now, since we still have some time before the meeting, why don't we meditate together and try to work through our nerves?"
Ahsoka agreed, appreciating her master's presence as she thought about what was coming. Anakin was not the best instructor to have when it came to mediation, and sometimes his padawan was better at it than him, but Ahsoka took encouragement from his efforts. Eventually, they both did find themselves more at peace than they were at the beginning of the exercise, and this helped give them the strength to rise and head to the Council with a degree of confidence.
Anakin paused outside the council chamber and turned to Ahsoka to give her one final warning before they entered. "Remember, Padawan. Be respectful, and accept the consequences. Now is not the time to be defensive. Leave that to me."
Ahsoka nodded, and Anakin gave her a couple reassuring pats on the back as he urged her through the doors. Ahsoka's stomach was in knots, but she did her best not to betray her nerves as she stood before the Council members. Anakin thought she carried herself with dignity as she gave her account and answered the various questions about her motivations. He'd hated this exercise at her age... He still hated it... But he was proud of his padawan for handling it fairly well.
When the questioning came to an end, Anakin took his queue to speak. "Masters, if I may speak on my padawan's behalf," he began, taking a step forward. "Despite her error of judgment by neglecting to seek counsel, she behaved admirably by responding to Senator Keteris' need without hesitation. I believe she showed great bravery and quick thinking, protecting both Keteris and Senator Amidala and managing to return safely. I ask you to consider this as you judge her offense."
"Thank you for that assessment, Anakin," Obi-Wan said. "It may have been brave, but that does not make it excusable. I think Ahsoka needs to see the larger perspective, to learn where the little actions can cause big problems. Master Plo, what if we had Ahsoka assist you in the planning and strategy area while she is grounded here?"
"I would be happy to have her," Plo said kindly. "She would learn a great deal."
"Patience, you must also learn, Padawan, and self control," Yoda added.
"I suggest assisting in the Creche and in classes with the younglings for that," Obi-Wan said, recalling how it had tested and improved Anakin's patience in the past.
Ahsoka found the idea of being forced to sit in a class with younglings a bit humiliating, and she was about to protest when she felt Anakin touch her arm. He had sensed her frustration, and when she turned to glance at him he shook his head in warning. Ahsoka bit her tongue immediately and averted her gaze to the floor.
"Something to add, Padawan, do you have?" Yoda asked.
"No, Master," she replied quickly. "Only that I wish to make amends."
"I know what you want is to be restored to the front with your master," Mace acknowledged, "but you'll need to take this time to reflect on your error and work on areas of weakness."
"Your bravery was admirable, Ahsoka, but you are young, and you still have much to learn about the proper way to behave." Obi-Wan's tone was more soft than stern, and he gave her a reassuring smile.
Ahsoka thanked the Council and acknowledged them with a bow, and the meeting was concluded. When they had dismissed themselves and were walking through halls, Ahsoka felt the knots in her stomach slowly unwinding as relief of having the task behind her came over her. Anakin put his arm around her and gave her a quick hug.
"You did very well, Snips," he said, flashing her a smile.
"Indeed," Obi-Wan agreed, coming up beside them. "Much better than your master," he teased, grinning at Anakin. "If only whippings had been so effective on him."
Anakin rolled his eyes, and Ahsoka smiled but resisted the urge to laugh at the joke, happy to have her master's approval for the time being. "I wish you both didn't have to leave so soon," she said sadly, knowing she would miss the bantering while she was stuck at the Temple.
"We'll be back before you know it," Anakin assured her. "You just need to focus on completing your tasks."
"And learning your lesson," Obi-Wan added.
"And try to be good and stay out of trouble, please. They won't hesitate to discipline you around here," Anakin cautioned knowingly.
"I'll be so good, Master. You'll be proud of me."
"Come on, Snips, you know I already am," Anakin said warmly, and Ahsoka believed him.
Some time later, when she had said her goodbyes and seen her master off, she joined Master Plo in the strategy room. "You miss your master already," he said knowingly, sensing her dejection.
"I guess so," she acknowledged. She wanted to say that it still didn't feel fair, but she didn't think Master Plo would agree with her.
"Come here, little Soka," he said, motioning for her to sit beside him. "I know you are questioning the Council's decision to ground you here."
Ahsoka was taken off guard by the accusation. "I wasn't trying to be obvious about it," she said sheepishly.
"But you are," he replied, lightly chuckling. "Did you know that I thought about taking you as my padawan?"
"You... did?" Ahsoka stared at him, a little surprised by this revelation.
"I did indeed, but the Council believed you would be better served at Anakin's side... That you would help each other. I did not agree at the time, but I trusted in the will of the Force and the vision of those who had a clearer mind than my own about the matter. It would have been foolish to reject their wisdom, and in time I grew to see their point of view. Do you understand why I am telling you this?"
"Because you want me to respect the wisdom of my superiors," Ahsoka stated matter of factly.
"Of course, and because guarding yourself from impaired judgment is a lifelong exercise. Having the humility to trust the people around you will help strengthen you in this regard."
"I understand, Master Plo... But my feelings aren't there yet," she admitted.
"They will catch up with you in time," he assured her. "As a young Jedi, you are bound to make mistakes. If you can admit them, and do your best to learn from them, you will go far."
Ahsoka nodded, appreciative of the encouragement. "Thanks, Master," she said, smiling warmly and feeling comforted by his presence.
"Whenever you are questioning, and you need someone to talk to, you may always come to me," he offered kindly. "Keep that in mind the next time you feel the urge to make any illegal travels."
Ahsoka flushed, but she could sense that Plo was being genuine and not wishing to tease her. They exchanged an embrace and Ahsoka was comforted by it. She knew the days would go by easier with Master Plo, and she was happy not to feel so lonely while she was separated from her master.
THE END