A/N: This is maybe a good warning that is needed, but this is a really slow burn romance story. The first season is way more focused on Mary as a character and her life and her story. I want her to feel like a fleshed out character with nuances, feeling like she belongs in the world of Stranger Things and has legroom for character development. Please read and comment what you think about it!

~X~

Chapter 3:

We do not Despair

"So bye-bye, Miss American Pie" Mary stood by her locker the next morning, her walkman headphones over her ears. "Drove my chevy to the levee but the levee was dry"

It had become a more and more frequent thing that she did to feel comfort. She could escape to the land of music, just for a little while, to make Hawkins disappear around her. Yesterday evening had stirred up some real anxieties inside of Mary, as for the first time in a long while she had gotten flashbacks of her time there.

"Have you seen Barb?" Nancy made Mary snap out of her thoughts violently, the taller brunette looked insecure and anxious as people walked passed.

"Jesus H Christ" Mary gasped and clutched her shirt and frowned at Nancy. "No?"

Nancy just nodded, "Okay" she said before once again looking around the corridor.

"Why do you ask?" Mary asked.

"Nothing, nothing.. I just didn't see her leave the party last night" Nancy explained as she started to fiddle with the strap of her bag. Mary knew Nancy always poked and prodded when nervous, she would fiddle with stuff until it broke when she was wound up.

"But she was your ride, right?" Mary asked, trying to recall the conversation she had with Barbara over the phone last night. Barbara had been nervous to go, and hadn't felt a good feeling about going without Mary, but she had insisted that the redhead should go if she wanted to and to not be held back by conflicting feelings between Nancy and herself. Mary frowned, if she hadn't gone home with Barbara, what had she-

"Oh" Mary said as she guessed what had happened.

"Maybe she is sick or something" Nancy said as to deflect from the other topic to be brought up. Nancy was scared that her best friend would judge her too.

"Yeah, totally" Mary said with an awkward nod, she didn't really know what to say. She and Nancy stared at each other for a solid 10 seconds before walking away in different directions. Oh how Mary had missed the days where Nancy would literally squeal over the phone with joy and nervosity when she had kissed a boy or when they would sit and talk with Barb for hours about their dramatic teenage life. But the more Nancy seemed to close parts of herself off, as to fit in with the popular clique according to Mary, the more they drifted apart. Growing up wasn't fun.

~X~

When Mary was stressed, she cooked or baked. She needed to focus all of her energy into one single thing, lest she would do nothing and fall into a state of doing nothing but be in bed. So to focus on something other than her missing best friend, who hadn't come to school nor been at home all day according to her now very worried mother, she planned to bake her famous oatmeal and raisin cookie to comfort Joyce Byers.

Will still hadn't showed up anywhere, and the media was running some utterly bonkers theories on the evening news. On her way over Mary dropped some cookies over at the Holland's as well, because she knew Barbs' parents were a sucker for sweets. Her mind kept racing as she drove all the way out to the Byers at the edge of town, she wondered where Barb could have gone or if she could have been hurt. She was so into her head that she didn't realize that she was being followed.

Getting out of her impala, she spotted a friendly face who seemed to have the same idea as her. "Hi Mrs Wheeler" Mary said with a gentle smile, and looked down to the blonde girl holding her mother's hand. "Hi Holly!"

"Madhee!" Holly said and ran over to Mary, the three year old didn't quite have the 'r' sound nailed down yet.

"Hi Mary! What are you doing here?" Karen asked, she had been certain that Nancy had said she would be with Mary after school. But here Mary was with a purple plastic container in her hands.

"I made my famous oatmeal raisin cookies for Joyce to… " Mary shrugged her shoulders, she didn't really know why exactly she had done what she had done. "To be of some help" She sighed.

Karen smiled, "That's so sweet of you, luckily I made dinner" and gestured to her own wrapped dish.

"Up!" Holly asked and motioned with her hand towards Mary. Karen slightly frowned, her youngest was still small and used to being carried but she had tried to start having Holly getting used to walking alone.

Mary looked at Karen, who shrugged an 'okay' and a motion to grab the purple box from the teenager. With ease, the 5 foot girl picked up Holly and settled her on her hip. Not an easy thing, a three year old weighed a lot more than one would think.

"I need to hire you to babysit sometime, you are so good with kids" Karen murmured as they walked over the front door.

"Of course Mrs-"

"Karen" Karen insisted. Mary nodded.

"I sometimes babysit for Mrs Henderson while she works at the hospital" Mary explained with an indifference in her tone, she had been over at the Wheelers a million times and some extra cash could be useful. "Holly would be a piece of cake" She added and tickled the child, much to Holly's delight. Karen smiled and turned to knock on the door, it took some time before Joyce opened.

"Hey" Karen said, she had prior to this prepared herself for whatever state Joyce Byers might have been in, but she was quite a lot more haggard than what she had thought. Karen couldn't blame her, her child was missing, and a small part wondered what herself might have looked like in that situation.

"Hey Karen" Joyce said and waved awkwardly at her unexpected guest.

"I brought you a casserole, and Mary here made you some cookies" Karen explained and showed the things in her hands. Joyce's shoulder sagged in slight relief.

"Aww Mary, you shouldn't have" Joyce said, she didn't know the teenager all that well. Red Forman wasn't really a friend of the Byers family, and was a proper hardass when it came to those his daughter hung around with. But with Jonathan inviting her over a few times to study, a small bond of friendship had formed these couple of months.

"I know they are your favorites" Mary said gently, recalling the time when she had brought them when she met up with Jonathan. Will had adored them too, and had eaten enough to get a stomachache.

"You wanna come inside?" Joyce said and opened the door further.

"Sure" Karen said, and together they went inside. Both women held their tongue at the state of the house, it was messy and there were christmaslights everywhere. They settled around the kitchen table, Karen was quick to throw the casserole in the oven to heat it up a bit before serving.

"Will always loved christmas, you know" Joyce explained as Karen sat down next to Mary at the table. "So I thought that if I put up the lights up, I don't know, he would feel like he was home somehow"

Joyce saw the pitiful look Karen gave her. "It's silly I know"

"No, no it's not silly" Karen insisted and took Joyce's hand. "How's Jonathan holding up?"

Joyce took another drag of her cigarette, Mary couldn't help but frown at the smell. "He's good at taking care of himself, he always has been" Joyce explained, which didn't sit right with the teenager either, but decided that it wasn't her place to say anything other than positive reinforcement to the very stressed out mother.

"He hasn't let me down in science class yet, he has a good head on his shoulders" Mary said, and Joyce smiled a bit more brightly at that. It was obvious that she loved her son.

"He thinks I'm losing my mind" Joyce huffed a small laugh.

"Despair is only for those who see the end beyond all doubt. We do not" Mary said, both of the mothers and even Holly looked at her with questioning eyes. "Sorry, Dustin made me read Lord of the Rings" She added, nervously tucking a strand of her messy brown hair behind her ear.

"If you ever need anything-" Karen started to talk to Joyce, and the two mothers ended up in their own little bubble of conversation. Mary on the other hand looked after Holly, who had decided to jump down from her chair and walk down the hallway.

Mary mumbled, "Where are you off too?" before following the child. In the ceiling the christmaslights blinked in a sequence that led the way down to what Mary remembered to be Will's room. Holly had pushed at the door, and inside the lamps placed around the bed were flickering in a circle. Mary was properly freaked out, as she had never ever seen this kind of thing before. It felt like a trap. Yet she still followed the little girl inside the circle of lamps. Then suddenly, they stopped.

"Holly?" She mumbled as the little girl walked up to the wall, the very air around them seemed to vibrate a rumbling… growling almost. The two of them stood fixated on the wall, it was like they were glued to the floor with fear. Holly held Mary's hand, her grip hard for a toddler. They were shaking, without realizing. Their little hearts were beating so very fast inside of their chests. And as soon as a large claw seemed to push through the wall, as if it was skin, the adults came back to break the spell.

"She shouldn't be here" Joyce said and picked up Holly and handed her back to her mother.

"Sorry" Mary mumbled, still scared from whatever it was that they saw.

"Did you see something?!" Joyce asked frantically as the toddler still had her eyes glued to the wall behind them. At Holly's small 'yeah', the woman got even more desperte. What did you see?"

"Joyce!" Karen exclaimed, not liking the tone the mother was using towards her child.

"Karen… thank you for the casserole but you need to leave, now" Joyce said, and Karen just shook her head and left. Joyce felt bad, as well as another headache. She was the worst person ever, but she needed time alone to get Will to speak to her. She also needed another cigarette.

"Joyce, w-what was that?! I-" Mary said, still standing in the spot close to the wall, Joyce had totally forgotten about her.

"Look, Mary, you should leave too" Joyce said with a bite, she was so done with this day. So done with this week. She just wanted her baby back home. Mary stood still, thinking. She didn't want to leave, she wanted to help. She wanted Joyce to feel better and to have the energy to keep going and fight to get her son back. But it was so obvious that she was exhausted and hanging by a thread.

"Can you keep a secret?" Mary asked, following behind Joyce as they went back to the kitchen.

"Of course Mary, but now's no the-" Joyce started, but halted as she felt Mary's hand on her shoulder. Suddenly, it was like she could breathe again. The stress, the exhaustion, the hunger that had been lying dormant, gnawing at her energy all just seemed to float away. She felt lighter, healthier than she had been in years, and she felt no rush for a smoke anymore. Turning around, the woman looked at Mary with wide eyes.

"I am… different" The teenager said and wiped her nose. It took a lot out of her to use her powers on others, more so than when she used them on herself. Joyce was in shock.

"It feels like, i-it feels like-" She couldn't even put words on the feeling inside of her. For the first time she realized how she smelled, how grimy her hair was. She really needed a shower.

"You have had the best sleep in ages? and that you have eaten the fullest and best meal in the world?" Mary said, knowing that that's how her father had explained it when she used her power on him once after a bad fall from the stairs as he had missed a step.

"Yes,"

"That's kinda my thing" Mary smiled, knowing full well that this put her, her father and now Joyce in the line of fire. If Joyce were to say this to anybody, Mary couldn't even imagine the consequences. But she just wanted to help.

"What?" Joyce had a hard time processing this, while still feeling like the world was closing in on her with Will gone.

"I will tell you more later, now we need to follow the lights" Mary said, pointing to the new line that appeared in the ceiling, pointing into the living room. Joyce gasped and went ahead, following the lights leading down to a crawl space behind a bookcase. Mary wondered how Joyce knew what to do as the woman took a ball of lights and went inside. She guessed it was all a mother's intuition.

"Will?" Joyce's voice was small and broken. Even with the new energy, she was just trying her best to get contact with her lost son. "Are you here?"

The light lit up, and Mary realized a breath she didn't know she was holding. It was the most beautiful light she had ever seen.

"Okay, okay good" Joyce said, hope filling her. "Blink once for yes, twice for no… c-can you do that for sweetie?"

The lights lit up once.

"Good boy" Joyce said, hugging the ball of lights close to her chest. This was her only connection to her son, she hoped he could feel her. Feel her love and her hope for him to be close.

"Are you alive?"

One light. Mary gasped and started pacing, what did all of this mean? Where was he, why could he use the lights this way. Was Will like her? Did he have powers?

"Are you safe?" Joyce asked, but the mood quickly fell in the room as the lights blinked twice.

"W-we need to know where to find you, can you tell me where you are.. can you-" Joyce started to panic with questions, she needed her son back now. She needed to protect him. Joyce turned and looked at Mary, who had scared tears running down her freckled cheeks.

"Paint" Joyce said, more to herself than Mary. And went in a hurry outside.

"What? Joyce?" Mary looked at her retreating figure, who stopped and pointed at the wall in the living room.

"Wait there" The woman said, and Mary did as asked.

"S-sure" Mary said, but no one could hear her. This was utter madness, what the hell was she doing here. But it was too late to back out now, maybe Will needed her help once they found him. Joyce came back to the livingroom and handed a paintbrush to Mary and opened a can of black paint. As Joyce started to paint a big A beneath a light, Mary quickly snapped up the plan and started on the second row of letters. When it was done the two women stepped away from their creation, hoping that this would work.

Joyce took a deep breath. "Okay.. okay baby talk to us… where are you?". One by one lights turned on.

E

"I-I don't… I don't know what that means," Joyce exclaimed and looked at Mary, who shook her head. The tension was back in the room, hairs were rising at the back on Mary's neck. "Tell us what should we do?"

R

U

N

A growl was heard, and the wall behind Mary tore open. The lights went haywire and the women stood in shock as a huge pale creature came through the wallpaper. The monster opened its head and roared, and Mary finally found the courage to run. "Joyce!" Mary screamed before taking the woman's hand, the mother was in such deep shock that without Mary it was uncertain if she would've been able to move at all. Mary was fast, and ran away from the Byers house as fast as she could, Joyce behind her, struggling to keep up with the unnatural speed.

They ran up the road leading back to the main road, suddenly coming to a halt when headlights shone upon them. It was Jonathan.

"Jonathan!" Joyce screamed in both relief and panic, letting go of Mary's hand to run up to her son to hug him. Mary stood there, out of breath and nose bleeding. In the distance, police sirens came closer and closer.