Stupid Ideas on A Friday Afternoon
"You got the day off too?" Marcy asked, as Anne stepped through the door to their apartment earlier than expected.
"Yeah, we had a last minute cancellation and were overstaffed. There are some other co-workers that need the extra hours so I volunteered to take the rest of the day off." Anne said, walking over to join her on the couch. She noticed an open box on the table. "Whatcha got there Mar-mar?"
"Sasha's mom came by to drop off some of her old things. I think she was hoping to run into Sasha." Marcy said thinking back. "She seems-"
"Awful?" Anne completed with a frown. "Yeah, after meeting her I think I understand why Sasha was so controlling back then."
"I'm surprised Sasha still talks to her after all these years." Marcy said scratching her chin. "I don't know if she was trying to be mean or not-"
"Knowing Sasha's mom, she probably was."
"But look what she brought over." Marcy said, sifting through the contents of the box. "She brought it over open and everything. I think she wanted us to see this to embarrass Sasha." She pulled out old homework assignments that had low grades, a photo of Sasha with a former boyfriend, and a broken trophy.
"Geez her mom sucks." Anne grimaced as she and Marcy looked at the photo.
"We're burning that." Marcy said flatly.
"Yup." Anne replied without hesitation. "I think I remember this guy too. He was such a jerk to Sasha." They put it aside. There were other random items thrown in haphazardly. An old yearbook, a stained shirt, a raggedy stuffed animal, and a crushed box half full of cigarettes. Anne saw writing scribbled on it and pulled it out. "Your first pack, love mom." She read aloud. Marcy held out her hand looking disgusted.
"Seriously?" She said taking the box and looking at it. "What kind of parent gives their kid cigarettes?"
"That would explain why she started smoking in high school." Anne said, thinking back. "I'm so glad she stopped." Marcy avoided her eyes nervously. She had caught Sasha sneaking a cigarette less than a week ago. She had begged her not to tell Anne and that it was just a small relapse. Marcy went back to sorting through the box of random detritus.
"We should toss most of this out." Marcy said looking upset. "I swear she packed this just to hurt Sasha." Anne nodded. Marcy tipped over the box to shake the rest of the contents out. A small green baggie fell out along with a plastic bong. Anne and Marcy stared at it. "Is that drugs!?" Marcy shouted.
"I think it's weed." Anne said, cautiously prodding the bag with a pencil.
"Anne, we can't have drugs in the apartment." Marcy said, panicking slightly.
"I mean, it's legal, but I agree." Anne said, pushing the offending items away. "Well, that settles it. Sasha's mom packed this just to be a bitch."
"I never knew Sasha did drugs." Marcy said in a whisper. Anne shook her head.
"She doesn't, Marcy. I think she maybe mentioned trying weed in college but she doesn't use it anymore. Especially not with her job now." Anne said, throwing several of the items back into the box.
"What are we going to do with it?" Marcy asked.
"We'll just throw it out with the rest of this junk." Anne shrugged.
"We can't just throw it out. What if someone finds it?" Marcy said worriedly.
"So flush it?" Anne suggested. Marcy considered the idea and nodded. "Cool. Let's just flush it then." She said pinching the small bag and getting up. Marcy followed her. They lifted the toilet seat and opened the bag. They both covered their noses.
"Why does it smell so bad?" Marcy asked, trying to fan the smell away.
"Why do people like this?" Anne agreed.
"It makes no sense." Marcy said, staring at the thing. They both hesitated.
"Do… Do you think we should try some to find out?" Anne asked nervously. "You know for, uh, science reasons?"
"You said it's legal, right?" Marcy said timidly.
"Yeah, and like we wouldn't do much, just like, a little teenie tiny amount and flush the rest." Anne said quickly. Marcy gulped.
"Oh, absolutely! And it's just for science." She said as they slowly walked back into the living room. Marcy tentatively picked up the bong. "How, uh, how do we use this?"
"I have no idea. I've never touched the stuff until today." Anne said, raising her hands. "I listened to the anti-drug assemblies at school."
"Me too." Marcy said, turning the thing over. "You put water in it right?"
"I think so?" Anne said slowly.
"Oh! I think I remember now." Marcy snapped her fingers.
"You remember how to smoke weed?" Anne asked, confused. Marcy shook her head.
"No, remember the anti-drug videos they had us watch in school? They showed people using these. Provided that the videos were accurate we can do the same thing." Marcy said, taking it over to the sink and filling it partially. Anne scratched her head as she recalled the videos. Marcy returned and took a pinch out of the baggie to pack into the bowl.
"Woah, they maybe shouldn't have shown us those videos." Anne said as Marcy finished setting everything up.
"Is there a lighter in the box?" Marcy asked, looking over. Anne dug through the box.
"Got it!" She said, pulling one out and handing it to Marcy. They hesitated again.
"Should we really be doing this?" Marcy said as her heart raced. Anne couldn't think of a response. "It's just a small amount. We'll stop if we feel high."
"Right." Anne said, trying to reassure herself. Marcy lit the edge of the bowl and took a deep breath in. She immediately coughed and set it down. "Marcy!" Anne said worried as she patted her on the back. Marcy finished coughing and waved a hand.
"I'm fine." She said passing the bong to Anne.
"Do you feel anything?" Anne asked, concerned. Marcy shook her head.
"It was a small amount. It might not even do anything." Marcy reasoned. Anne put her mouth to the piece and inhaled. She was able to hold it in longer before coughing. "Anything?" Marcy asked and Anne shook her head.
"Nothing." She said, passing it back. They took a couple more hits. Only a few minutes later Marcy's pupils started to dilate.
"Anne." She said, reaching out to her.
"What?" Anne asked before suddenly feeling it too. "Oh my god."
"Anne, why can't I perceive time?" Marcy asked in a panic.
"What?" Anne said as it was getting increasingly more difficult to think and focus. She started to laugh. Everything felt relaxing and comfortable. Marcy started freaking out.
"I can't tell time." She whispered. Anne looked at her and gave her a hug.
"It's gonna be okay Mar-mar." She soothed. "What even is time?" Marcy stopped panicking to consider the question. She relaxed and leaned back onto the couch.
"I never thought about that before." Marcy said slowly. Anne had started kissing her. "Like time and space and gravity are linked."
"They are?" Anne asked as she kissed her neck.
"Yes and no." Marcy frowned and reached for a piece of paper. She flipped over one of Sasha's old homework assignments and started drawing on the back. "Okay, so here's Earth right? The gravitational pull looks like this." She drew what looked like a grid that sank into a cone. "And the further you get from Earth the faster time is. It's called gravitational time dilation."
"You're, like, so smart Mar-mar." Anne said, cuddling her. Marcy looked at her and blushed.
"I love you so much Anna-banana." Marcy said before pausing. Anne read her mind.
"Do we have bananas? I'm feeling kinda hungry."
"We should cook something."
"That is such a good idea."
"Anne?"
"Yeah?"
"I think we're high." Marcy said seriously. They both giggled before running to the kitchen.
A couple hours later Sasha was fumbling with the keys to their apartment. She took a deep breath to relax. She turned the doorknob and stepped inside. Several things hit her at once. First, it smelled like really good food. Second, the apartment was a mess. Third, the TV was playing loudly. Fourth, she could have sworn she smelled… She spotted the bong on the kitchen table next to an empty baggie.
"What the fuck?" Sasha demanded as she strode over to pick it up. She looked around the apartment for her two idiot girlfriends. They were passed out half naked on the couch surrounded by food. She closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. She grabbed the remote and turned off the TV. Marcy started to stir. She looked around with bloodshot eyes and spotted Sasha.
"Anne, wake up. Sasha's home." Marcy said half asleep half excited. Anne jerked awake.
"Oh shit, really?" Anne asked, slightly panicked. She looked up to see Sasha looking down at them unamused.
"Sashy." Marcy said, getting up to pull her into a hug. She started kissing her while feeling her up. Sasha blushed and grabbed her hands.
"I love you too Marbles." Sasha said, kissing her forehead. "Why don't you put some more clothes on?"
"Why don't you take some more clothes off? And then I can wear them?" Marcy reasoned. Sasha couldn't help but crack a smile. She looked around at all the food.
"I'm surprised you two didn't get into the ice cream." Sasha said slyly. Marcy's eyes widened.
"We have some?" She asked and wandered off. Sasha looked at Anne who was sweating. She put the bong down on the table and pointed at it.
"Who gave you weed?" Sasha said calmly.
"Your mom." Anne said nervously. Sasha blinked. She glanced back at the bong and put a hand to her face as she recognized it.
"What the fuck mom?" Sasha groaned.
"She brought by a box of your old stuff." Anne said, pointing to a box in the corner. Sasha looked into it before frowning.
"How thoughtful." She said sarcastically. She turned back to Anne and sat down on the couch beside her. "Why did you try it? You and Marcy are so strait-laced." Sasha said, frowning slightly.
"It was for science." Marcy said walking back over with the tub of ice cream.
"We were going to flush it, I swear." Anne said quickly. "But one thing led to another." She gestured to the room. Sasha sighed and nodded.
"Is there any left?" She asked. Anne shrugged.
"I think there's some left in there." Marcy said pointing to the bong. Sasha picked it up.
"I'm flushing the rest of this." She said getting up. Anne and Marcy nodded guiltily. "I'm not mad either of you. I just wish you had waited to talk to me about it before trying it. You could have had a bad trip and gotten really scared and anxious."
"Sorry Sash." They both said, avoiding her eyes. Sasha's expression softened and kissed them both. She headed to the bathroom and lifted the toilet seat. It took her a minute to process what she was seeing. It looked like half of a torn photograph that was partially burned? Wait. Was that a picture of her ex? She laughed. Of course they would have thrown it in there. She emptied the bowl and dumped the water into the toilet before flushing it. She walked back into the living room. Anne had joined Marcy in eating directly out of the tub of ice cream.
"So I take it you didn't care for the picture of my ex?" Sasha grinned. Anne swallowed a huge bite of ice cream before responding.
"He was such a jerk to you!" Anne began angrily as she pointed with her spoon.
"Yeah, he was." Sasha said joining them. "Did you two try burning it?"
"Maybe…" Anne said shiftily.
"We burned it over the toilet before we got scared of the fire and threw it in." Marcy admitted. Sasha took Anne's spoon to scoop herself up some ice cream.
"What did you do with the other half?" Sasha asked curiously. Marcy casually pulled it out of her bra.
"Anne said you deserved to be somewhere nice." Marcy nodded seriously. Sasha turned red as she took it.
"You two are stupidly cute. You know that right?" Sasha said, hugging them both.