Extremely cursed bullshit

!THIS IS A JOKE DON'T TAKE IT SERIOUSLY!

CHAPTER ONE WHAT THE FUCK!?

Hogwarts' newest student was strolling through the halls like he owned the place. He had a velvety, black robe covering his entire small body, leaving only two red eyes uncovered. He met up with his new Slytherin friends. Crabbe, who was a dumbass, Goyle who was also a dumbass and finally Draco Malfoy. Who was a slightly less dumbass-y dumbass. Together they smoked weed in the toilet stalls. They knew they were late for class. But they didn't really care. After getting stoned so hard that they licked each other toes whilst praying to the Lamp from the Pixar intro. They went to professor McGonagall's transfiguration class, whilst still being high.

Boom! They busted through the classroom door.

'Well well well, look who finally decided to show up.' Professor McGonagall remarked sarcastically.

At first there was a dreadful silence but then he said: 'Yeah, we're here now. Got a problem with that?'

The classroom was filled with audible gasps. McGonagall, now truly furious answered: 'How DARE you speak like that to a professor!' Her voice was shocked but stern. 'Who do you THINK you are? I am going to report you to professor Dumbledore immediately, and I am going to take two hundred points-'

'Avada Kadavra. Bitch'

The room was filled with a toxic green light as professor McGonagall was blasted through the classroom window. It sounded like an explosion had gone off, and the textbooks were launched in the air by the sheer force of the spell. And then, nothing. The textbooks were falling back on the grounds. The trembling students, who were hiding under their desks were re-emerging and an all-encompassing silence filled the classroom.

'Who do you think I am?' He asked broodingly whilst gazing with a lifeless stare at the place where professor McGonagall used to stand mere seconds ago.

'Well…' The camera zoomed in on him slowly whilst he carefully removed the robe of his head and put it on his shoulders.

'I am. Kermit. THE. frog.'

Finally Kermit looked around. He only saw trembling fools who were too scared to do anything. Kermit turned to the class and said: 'It's not easy being mean.' Kermit walked to the door with slow but heavy and thunderous footsteps. He stopped before his Slytherin friends.

'Come on, let's go boys'. His gang obeyed, leaving the rest of the class behind, in utter shock and terror.