Author's Note: Hello, readers! I'm back with another story. This story is written in third person point of view, but jumps between Jimmy and Cindy as the focus. I used line breaks to indicate when the focal character changes. I hope you enjoy this one.
Merriam-Webster Catfish noun (kat-fish): 1. Any of an order (Siluriformes) of chiefly freshwater stout-bodied scaleless bony fishes having long tactile barbels. 2. A person who sets up a false personal profile on a social networking site for fraudulent or deceptive purposes.
"I'm not doing this anymore, Sheen!" Jimmy hollered as he slammed the front door of their apartment closed.
"Date didn't go well, I'm guessing," Carl stated, as he glanced up briefly from his video game.
"You didn't even give her a chance. You know, I worked really hard setting you up with Colleen," Sheen responded.
"Bullshit!" Jimmy shouted, turning off the TV.
"Hey!" Sheen and Carl yelled at the same time.
"You did not work hard finding me a date. Colleen is just some random girl in your American History class."
"Okay, so I didn't work that hard. But what's wrong with her? She's nice and pretty and smart. And she likes you."
"She told me that when we get married we're going to move to the countryside. And that we're going to have four kids, two of each, and we'll probably get a dog when the kids are older. I mean, damn, Sheen! This was a first date. I'm not trying to plan my entire life out tonight. I'm just trying to…" Jimmy sighed as he trailed off.
"Yikes. I'm sorry. I really didn't think she was that intense. She seems so cool in class. I know it's been hard since your breakup, but the best way to get over someone, is to get back out there," Sheen replied.
"Nope, you're fired from setting me up with girls. I'm not going to go on any more dates. I'm just going to go to my room and wallow in my own pity." Jimmy walked into the kitchen, grabbed the whiskey off the counter, and headed toward his bedroom.
"Jimmy!" Carl called as he set his game controller down and followed his friend down the hallway. He knocked on Jimmy's closed door and said, "Come on, Jim! You can't go back to wallowing. It's not healthy. Besides, we can't afford to restock the alcohol after your last pity party."
"Fuck off, Carl! Just let me drown my emotions in peace. I'm not ready to move on. I just want to be sad and alone."
Carl sighed in defeat. They had gone through this exact situation a few months ago when Jimmy and Cindy broke up. It hadn't been an easy break up. On the outside, it seemed like everything was fine. They didn't fight, nobody cheated. One day Cindy just decided that she didn't want to date Jimmy anymore. She didn't even explain why. That was the hardest thing for Jimmy. He didn't get any closure. He had locked himself in his room for a week, drowning his sorrows in alcohol.
After a week of sadness, Jimmy was ready for a rebound. He created a Tinder profile and started swiping right on pretty much any girl that popped up. He was unsuccessful. He got hardly any matches and the ones he did get were really boring. So then he asked Sheen to set him up.
Jimmy went on a few blind dates with girls Sheen had set him up with, but none of them really interested him. Jimmy was ultimately using his dates to complain about his ex girlfriend. And after this last date, Jimmy had finally hit his breaking point.
Jimmy took another swig from the bottle as he opened up his Instagram. He sneered as the first post to pop up was Cindy's. She had posted a picture of her and Libby at the university baseball game from early that night. Jimmy's sneer turned into a look of longing and sadness. He just wanted to know why she broke up with him. He thought that he deserved at least that. But she didn't offer an explanation. She wasn't seeing anyone new (this was confirmed to Jimmy by Sheen who had asked Libby). So Jimmy didn't understand her reasoning.
Jimmy scrolled through more pictures. There were several from the baseball game that must have ended recently. Jimmy stopped scrolling and looked at a photo posted by a member of the baseball team, Chase. It was a picture of a few of the guys from the team at that bar they always go to after games. Jimmy read the caption: "Celebrating another win with my bros. I'd tag Derek, but that prick doesn't have an instagram."
Suddenly, Jimmy had an idea. He went to his Instagram profile and tapped on his username. He clicked on Add Account and began creating a fake profile. If Cindy wouldn't tell him why she ended things, then maybe she would tell Derek Miles.
Cindy maneuvered around a group of already drunk seniors as she brought her and Libby's drinks back to the table they snagged after the baseball game. It was a post-win tradition to celebrate at the campus bar. It was also a tradition to lament a loss at the same bar, but tonight was definitely a celebration.
Cindy set Libby's drink down as she slid into the already crowded bench. Libby nodded her thanks to her best friend and went back to talking to the guy next to her. Cindy forced a smile on her face. Normally she loved coming to the bar after a game, but tonight felt different. Libby was flirting her way through the guys at the table and Cindy, quite frankly, was terrible at that. She usually didn't care about things like that, but ever since she broke up with Jimmy she had been trying to get back out there.
Cindy and Jimmy had dated since high school and while they were happy, Cindy felt like they were already an old married couple. Jimmy didn't mind coming out to the sporting events and after parties, in fact he liked it just as much, if not more than Cindy. But Cindy felt like neither of them was getting the full college experience. Cindy thought she was doing both of them a favor when she broke up with him, but now as she sat at an overcrowded table she had never felt more alone.
"Hey!" Libby shouted across the table to Cindy. "What's bumming you out?"
"Nothing. Just thinking," Cindy replied.
"You're not thinking about Neutron again, are you?"
"No," Cindy lied. "Why would I be? I broke up with him, remember?"
"Yeah, and you've been all mopey about it recently. That was ages ago. Live a little! You are a hot, single, college junior. You've got the pick of the litter." Libby gestured to the guys sitting around them.
Cindy just rolled her eyes and smiled. Libby didn't get it. Just because Cindy was the one to end things, didn't mean she didn't miss Jimmy. She did. She missed hanging out with him. She missed being friends with him.
Cindy finished her drink quickly and stood up. She wanted to go home. She wasn't in a celebratory mood. She turned to tell Libby she was leaving, but Libby was making out with the guy she had been talking to since they got to the bar. Cindy shook her head and walked out of the bar. She pulled her phone out and typed out a message to Libby: Wasn't feeling it tonight. I'm heading home. Let me know if you need a ride.
Libby texted back immediately: What?! The baseball team isn't even here yet. There are lots of cute guys on the team. Come back so you can flirt with them!
Cindy chose not to respond. Libby would be insistent until Cindy would break down and come back to the bar, and Cindy really wasn't in the mood. Instead, Cindy swung by the store, picked up a box of the end-of-day donuts at the bakery for half price and a bottle of cheap wine, and headed home to change into her oversized university sweatshirt and a pair of pajama shorts. She just wanted to watch trash TV and drown her sorrows in donuts and alcohol.
Cindy sighed as her phone pinged with another Snapchat from Libby. Libby was trying everything she could to get Cindy to come back out. Cindy finally sent Libby a picture of herself in her pajamas, drinking wine straight from the bottle, with her hair in the literal definition of a messy bun. Libby replied with a video rolling her eyes. "Okay, I get it. I'll leave you alone. I'll see you when I get home," video Libby practically shouted.
Cindy smiled at her cleverness. Before she put her phone down, she noticed she had a new Instagram notification. She clicked on the icon to open it up. Derek Miles started following you.
"Who's Derek Miles?" Cindy asked out loud. She clicked on his profile. There wasn't much. Just a few gym selfies, and group photos. Cindy tapped on one of the photos to get a better look. While she was slightly disgusted that he took gym selfies, she had to admit he was attractive. She closed out of the photo and looked at his profile. All it said was Hamilton Univ. Go Hyenas!
"I've never seen this guy on campus. I wonder how he knows me," Cindy said to herself. "I guess I could have just popped up on his 'people you may know.'" She opened up one of the group photos and noticed the caption: Post-game celebration! Thanks to everyone who came out to support.
Cindy saw that this had been posted about thirty minutes ago. She looked closer at the picture. They were at the campus bar she was at earlier. Of course. Cindy thought. He's on the baseball team. I thought his name sounded a little familiar. Cindy scrolled through and looked at his other few pictures. She noticed that they all had been posted tonight. Clearly this is a fake profile. People sure can be dumb. Cindy closed out of her Instagram app and went back to watching whatever horrifying reality show was on. Her phone pinged a new notification. She looked and saw that she had a message request from Derek. Against her better judgement, Cindy opened the message: Hey. I don't want to come off creepy, but I've seen you around campus. You sure are cute! My lame teammates set up this account for me, but when you popped up on my suggested followers list I decided to shoot my shot.
Cindy smiled to herself. Ever since she broke up with Jimmy, all she wanted was a little attention from a guy, and she finally had some. She was pretty sure that it wasn't the guy in the pictures though. Cindy hit Accept Message and typed out her reply: Hey yourself. How do I know this is really you? I would have thought someone on the baseball team would be all over social media.
Cindy's heart raced as she saw the three little dots pop up at the bottom of the screen.
Derek: I was never really interested in it. I didn't really want to have my whole life on display.
Cindy: What's with all the posts in one day?
Derek: My teammates said that was how to get more followers or something? I don't really know. The last picture I posted is current though. I just got back from our post game celebration. Did you go to the game?
Cindy: Yeah, I did. I was actually at that bar earlier tonight but I came home early.
Derek: Oh. That's too bad. I would have loved to meet you in person.
Cindy: Yeah, that would have been a lot of fun. I just wasn't in the mood for partying.
Derek: Oh? Why not?
Cindy didn't respond right away. How could she begin to explain to a complete stranger what she was feeling? Cindy's phone pinged a new message.
Derek: Sorry, I didn't mean to pry. I've never met anyone like you. You seem like a really cool person.
Cindy: It's okay. I don't want to make you feel weird, because I don't really know you.
Derek: Can we change that? Because I really want to get to know you.
Cindy smiled. This is what she wanted: someone who put in some effort. Jimmy was great, but they'd known each other and had been together for so long that there wasn't any heat between them anymore. Derek was different. He seemed to have a genuine interest in Cindy and that made her heart beat just a bit faster.
Cindy: I really want to get to know you too. :)
Holy shit. Jimmy thought to himself. He was staring at the message on his phone from Cindy. Had he really pulled this off? Was Cindy actually falling for this guy? Jimmy's heart was beating a mile a minute.
Making the fake profile wasn't too hard. All Jimmy had to do was take screenshots of photos that Derek was in from his friends' account. Even though he wasn't tagged, they were easy to find on any of the baseball players profiles; jocks do pretty much everything together.
Jimmy's mind raced as he thought about how to respond. He never thought that this would actually work. He was actually a little surprised. At face value, Derek didn't seem like Cindy's type. Jimmy didn't know him personally, he only knew a few of the guys from the baseball team because of Sheen, who seemed to be friends with everyone. Derek seemed like a pretty typical college frat bro based off of the photos he had found of him on other people's Instagrams. Cindy was never into guys like that. She didn't like gym rats with overly toned bodies and guys with perfectly styled hair. Or maybe she did.
Jimmy glanced down at his own body, noticing the slight beer belly. He looked at his arms which had no definition to them at all. He touched his hair, realizing he hadn't been to the barber in several weeks. Is that why Cindy dumped me? Jimmy thought. Have I really let myself go that much?
Jimmy's phone chimed a new notification from Cindy: Uh oh. Did I scare you off? ;)
Jimmy composed himself and replied as Derek: Haha no. You'll have to do a lot more than that to scare me off. So, tell me about you. What do you like to do for fun?
Jimmy and Cindy messaged well into the night. He felt a little guilty for catfishing Cindy, but this was the only way he could talk to her. He figured he could talk to her for a few days and then he could start trying to get her to tell why she broke up with him. After that, he would probably just have Derek ghost Cindy or something and then he could talk to Cindy as himself. They might even get back together, although Jimmy knew that was a long shot.
The next morning, Jimmy was in a much better mood. This did not go unnoticed by his roommates.
"What's with the mood change?" Sheen asked. "Last night I was convinced you were going to drink yourself into a coma."
"Sheen!" Carl scolded. "Don't question it. He's a ticking time bomb."
"Ha. Ha. You guys are hilarious," Jimmy replied as he finished cleaning his cereal bowl. "I decided that I'm not going to let it bother me anymore." Jimmy knew that he was lying. But he couldn't bring himself to admit what was really going on. His friends wouldn't understand.
"Well, good for you then!" Carl exclaimed. "There's no point in letting your ex-girlfriend get to you."
Jimmy chuckled nervously. "Yeah, absolutely." Jimmy casually looked at the time on his watch. "Well, I better get going so I'm not late for class. See you guys later!" Jimmy grabbed his backpack and walked out the door before Sheen or Carl could say anything else.
Jimmy hopped onto the shuttle to take him to campus. He pulled out his phone to see if Cindy had messaged Derek. He didn't have any messages, but that didn't worry him. It was still early. The shuttle stopped at the next stop and Jimmy saw Cindy step onto the bus. It shouldn't have surprised him because he shared his first class with her on Friday mornings. He quickly switched his phone to silent in case Cindy decided to message Derek while on the bus. Jimmy pretended not to notice as Cindy walked by, and she did the same. They hadn't been exactly friendly since the break-up. It's not that they were mean to each other, life was just easier if they pretended that the other one wasn't there.
The shuttle pulled up to Jimmy and Cindy's stop. Jimmy waited for Cindy to get off, and then took a different route to get to class. He wished he could be more mature about their break-up, but she had never given him a reason as to why she broke up with him. If she was going to be immature, then so was he.
Jimmy felt his phone vibrate. The speed at which he pulled his phone out was astonishing. The eager look on his face faded when he saw it was a text from Sheen: I got next Friday off for Carl's birthday. Don't schedule any study groups or some other stupid shit because we're taking him out.
Jimmy: I know. Why the fuck would I schedule a study group for Friday? I'm not an idiot.
Sheen: A simple, "thanks for the reminder" would have sufficed.
Jimmy chuckled as he put his phone back in his pocket and walked into the lecture hall.
Cindy sat down towards the front of the lecture hall. She was one of the only ones in the first five rows. Cindy had given up on trying to be cool by sitting in the back. She could focus and hear the professor better when she sat up front. She pulled out her phone to see if she had a message from Derek. She was a little surprised that he hadn't messaged her yet. Maybe he's still asleep. She thought. She switched her phone to silent so that she wouldn't disrupt the class if she got a message.
About two minutes later, Jimmy walked into the lecture hall. Cindy pretended to look through her backpack for a pen. She knew she was being immature and she should just talk to him. It's not like he did anything wrong. Cindy was afraid of what he would say or how he would react though. She watched him from the corner of her eye as he walked past her and sat a few rows behind her. Cindy remembered how just a few months ago they would walk to class together and sit by each other. Sometimes they would even leave early enough to get a coffee before class. She knew that those things would never happen again.
After class Cindy pulled her phone out again to see if Derek had messaged her. Still nothing. Should I say something first? Cindy thought. I don't want to seem clingy though. As Cindy contemplated her next move, her phone vibrated. She smiled when she saw that Derek had messaged her: Good Morning :) Sorry I didn't message you earlier. I was in class.
Cindy: Hi. No worries. I was in class too.
Derek: What are you up to now?
Cindy: I was going to grab a coffee before my next class. Would you want to meet me over at the Library Cafe? Cindy knew she was being very forward, but she wanted to shoot her shot.
Derek: I wish I could. I have a packed morning schedule so that I can get to practice in the afternoon. My next class starts in about 5 minutes.
Cindy: I understand. Good luck with the rest of your classes today.
Derek: Thanks, you too.
While she was disappointed, Cindy knew that being a college athlete meant busy schedules. She would just have to settle for phone conversations for the time being.
Throughout the weekend, Cindy and Derek messaged almost constantly. The baseball team was out of town for an away game, so while she couldn't meet up with him, Cindy enjoyed being able to talk to him for more than just short conversations. She had asked a couple times if he wanted to video chat, but Derek was sharing a hotel room with a teammate and didn't want to bother him.
Cindy told Libby about Derek Saturday morning. There would have been no use trying to hide it. Libby would find out eventually.
"Cindy, I know it's not what you want to hear, but this Derek guy is giving major catfish vibes," Libby warned.
"In what way?"
"The new Instagram. The six posts in one day, all of which are group photos. He won't meet up with you. He won't video chat with you. He won't even give you his phone number!"
"That doesn't mean he's a catfish. Besides, it's not like it's serious. I'm just having fun talking to someone new," Cindy justified.
"Girl, you are blinded by lust." Libby shook her head. "Don't say I didn't warn you."
One week later
Jimmy took another shot of tequila. It was Carl's birthday after all, and they were out celebrating. To be completely honest, Jimmy was also trying to get too drunk for Sheen to set him up with someone. All week Sheen had been trying to make it up to Jimmy for the horrible date with Colleen. Sheen had no idea that Jimmy was talking to Cindy. And Jimmy needed a better excuse than the ones he'd been giving because Sheen wasn't listening. Getting too drunk was the best excuse.
"Woohoo!" Sheen shouted as Jimmy sucked on the lime after his shot. "Damn, Jim! You are on one tonight."
"Yeah, Jimmy. Maybe you better slow down," Carl insisted. He was already feeling dizzy and knew he couldn't keep up with his friends.
"Carl, we're here to celebrate your birthday! I'm just trying to have a good time," Jimmy retaliated.
"Yeah, Carl. Live a little! We're here to get you drunk!"
"You're right. Let's get fucked up!" Carl shouted as he grabbed the tequila shot in front of him.
"Dude!" Sheen practically shouted after finishing his shot. "Check out that hot chick over there." Sheen pointed at some girl across the bar.
Jimmy rolled his eyes. "Sheen, no. I told you I'm done dating."
"Come on, she's super hot."
"Then you go talk to her."
"Jimmy, please. You know that Libby and I have a thing going on."
"You mean that you guys hook up whenever she can't find a date for the weekend?"
"Shut the fuck up, man. At least I'm getting some."
"Screw you." Jimmy turned back to the bar to order another drink.
"Where'd Carl go?" Sheen asked.
Jimmy looked around for a minute, then spotted Carl talking to the girl Sheen had pointed out. Jimmy smiled, then nudged Sheen and nodded his head in the direction of Carl and the girl.
"Damn, Carl moves fast!" Sheen chuckled. "Well, I guess you won't be getting any tonight. How many days is that?"
"You're a dick," Jimmy stated.
"You love me," Sheen replied. Sheen felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. "Well, well. Looks like I'll be having some fun tonight." Sheen wagged his phone at Jimmy showing a message from Libby.
"No you won't. You promised Carl that you wouldn't ditch him tonight, remember?" Jimmy said casually.
"Fuck! Aw, man! How's that fair?" Sheen complained. He messaged Libby and turned down her offer, reminding her that it was Carl's birthday. "This is stupid." Sheen crossed his arms and sulked.
"Quit acting like a baby. I'm sure Libby will understand." Jimmy tried to be sympathetic. All he really wanted to do was message Cindy, but he knew that he shouldn't when they were celebrating Carl.
Carl came back over a little while later with a grin on his face. Sheen and Jimmy cheered when Carl said he got her number. "Best night ever!" Carl shouted.
Sometime after midnight, the boys were shuffling back to their apartment. They had definitely overdone it and were already dreading the hangovers that would curse them in the morning. Sheen pulled out his key to unlock the apartment door. He had to really focus to get the key into the lock.
"Is that what you have to do when you're hooking up with a girl?" Carl joked as he watched Sheen use both hands, close one eye, and stick his tongue out in concentration to find the keyhole.
"Shh! I'm concentrating!" Sheen whispered. His key made it into the lock and Sheen smiled to himself.
Jimmy pulled out his phone. He still didn't have a message from Cindy. He had told her earlier that Derek was going to be busy tonight, but it still surprised him that she hadn't messaged him.
The boys walked into their apartment and all three nodded their goodnights to each other and went into their respective bedrooms. It wasn't really even that late. It was only a little after midnight but all the boys wanted to do was sleep. Except Jimmy. He slid onto his bed and pulled his phone out and messaged Cindy: I've been thinking about you all day.
"Well, shit," Libby sighed.
"What's up?" Cindy asked, pausing her TV show.
"Sheen's busy tonight. It's Carl's birthday."
"Oh yeah. I should text him and say happy birthday," Cindy thought out loud. "You're still hooking up with Sheen?"
"Sometimes," Libby replied. "We just click, you know?"
"So why not just date him then?"
"For the same reason that you and Jimmy broke up: I want to date around and explore my options."
"And catch venereal disease," Cindy finished Libby's sentence.
"Shut up. Quit being a hater just because you haven't had a good date in a long time."
"Whatever." Cindy turned back to her TV show.
"Come on, let's go do something!" Libby begged as she sat down next to Cindy.
"Why do we have to go out? I'm perfectly content to stay right here and watch TV."
"Staying home is so boring! You just want to stay home in case Derek texts you."
"For your information, he said he was busy tonight."
"Yeah, sure. He's probably out on a date with a girl that he's not catfishing."
"That's not funny. You don't get to be rude to me just because your fuck buddy is busy."
Libby sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm just worried about you. I hate seeing you invest all this time into this guy that you haven't even met."
"I'm a big girl, Libby. I can take care of myself." Cindy shut off the TV. "Come on, let's go out. At least for a little while."
Cindy and Libby returned home around midnight. Libby was talking about something, but Cindy wasn't really paying attention. She kept looking at her phone to see if Derek had messaged her. She knew it was a long shot but she was still hopeful.
Libby stopped talking suddenly as she looked at her phone. "Ugh, Sheen just texted me. He's clearly wasted. Why would he think I would want to come over now? I'm not some booty call."
"Isn't that exactly how you treat him though?" Cindy questioned.
"That's different."
"No it's not. When was the last time you guys actually spent time together that didn't involve sex?"
"No comment." Libby stood up and stormed to her bedroom.
Cindy chuckled. She knew that Libby liked Sheen, she just wouldn't admit it. Cindy's phone pinged a new notification. She had a small smile on her face as she read the message that Derek had just sent: I've been thinking about you all day.
Cindy composed herself and tried to play it cool as she typed out her reply: Really? I've been thinking about you too.
Derek: I wish I could see you.
Cindy: Me too.
Derek: I can't wait for baseball season to be over. I want to take you out on a real date.
Cindy smiled to herself. She hadn't felt like this in a long time. Cindy's phone pinged another message.
Derek: What are you doing tonight?
Cindy: Nothing. I'm just at home. I wish you could come over.
Derek: Yeah? What would we do if I was there?
Cindy paused and took a deep breath. Was she really about to sext a guy she's never met in person? She felt ridiculous, but it had been a few months. She stood up and walked to her room. She quietly closed the door and turned the lock. She couldn't believe she was doing this. She wanted to play coy at first to see what exactly Derek did.
Cindy: We could watch a movie. ;)
Derek: Or we could make out while a movie plays in the background.
Cindy: That's an option too. I quite like that option.
Derek: Yeah? Could we do other stuff too?
Cindy: Like what?
Derek: I could pull you onto my lap and you could straddle my legs. I just want you as close to me as possible.
Cindy: That could be interesting. Clothing optional?
Derek: Clothing is always optional. ;)
Cindy laughed lightly. The one thing she liked about sexting guys was that she had all the control. With just a few dirty words, she could convince a guy to do whatever she wanted.
Cindy: In that case, your shirt needs to come off immediately. I've seen your gym selfies.
Derek: Tit for tat. Or I guess tit for tit. Lol
Cindy didn't respond right away. That was something Jimmy used to say. It had to just be a coincidence, but Cindy still proceeded with caution.
Cindy: Clever. Come up with that one on your own?
Derek: I wish. I heard it from someone. I thought it was funny. Sorry, did I kill the mood?
Cindy: Nothing I can't fix. What are you going to do now that my shirt's off?
Cindy woke up the next day still holding onto her phone. She remembered that she had been talking to Derek. Well, sexting Derek. She had been sober, but she had a feeling that Derek had not been. He didn't send her any pictures (thank God) and he didn't ask for any from Cindy, so at least he was smart enough to know where they stood.
Cindy typed out a message to Derek as she got out of bed: Good Morning. How's the hangover ;)
Cindy walked out of her room and into the kitchen. She watched as the three dots appeared waiting to see what Derek would say. She grabbed a mug from the cabinet and poured a cup of coffee.
Derek finally replied: Ugh. It's the worst. I always go overboard at parties.
Cindy smiled as she thought of what to say.
"What are you smiling about?" Libby asked as she ate her breakfast. "Get off your damn phone. I thought we were going to spend some time together. You've been so attached to that thing. It's driving me insane."
"I'm sorry, Libby. I've been talking to Derek. He is so funny!"
Libby rolled her eyes. "Honey, you haven't even met the guy. You've been talking to him for, what, a week now? Why hasn't he tried to meet up with you?"
"He's busy! It's baseball season. He has practice and games and stuff. He doesn't have time," Cindy argued.
"But he has time to text you constantly? I'm telling you, something about this guy doesn't seem right."
"Yeah, yeah. I know you think he's a catfish. Look, I'm pretty skeptical too. I'm going to do some digging. I'm bound to see him on campus sometime." Cindy was already planning in her head of places she could possibly run into Derek.
Jimmy exhaled sharply as he did one more rep on the lat machine. He tried to convince himself that he was going back to the gym for himself and not because of Cindy, but he knew that was a lie.
He released the bar and grabbed his water bottle. He wandered over to the sanitation station to grab the spray bottle to wipe down the machine. He was looking at his phone for a message from Cindy as he reached for the bottle, and touched someone's hand that was also reaching for the same cleaner. He looked up and saw that it was Cindy.
"Cindy, hi. Sorry." Jimmy released his hand. "I guess I should watch what I'm doing."
"Hi, Jimmy." Cindy smiled. "I didn't know you went to the gym. Not that I think you need to. I just. Ugh. Now I feel like a bitch. Sorry."
Jimmy chuckled. "It's okay. I'm sort of trying to get into better shape. We're not going to be twenty-one forever, right?"
Cindy nodded her approval. "That's awesome. I'm glad you want to get healthy."
"I'm guessing you're not here for the free bottled water, so you must be here to workout too," Jimmy guessed.
"Sort of. I was looking for someone, but I don't see them." Cindy had a look of disappointment in her eyes.
"Oh," Jimmy responded. Was she talking about Derek?
Cindy smiled. "Is it awkward if I ask how you've been? I haven't really seen you around."
Jimmy furrowed his brow in confusion. "I didn't think you wanted me around. Isn't that the whole point of a break up?"
"Well, it's not like I never wanted to see you again. We're friends, right?"
"I don't know, Cindy. Are we? You broke up with me out of the blue and you didn't give me a reason why. And now you want to catch up like nothing happened?"
Cindy was stunned. "I just thought we could still be friends. I mean, we've known each other for our whole lives. Doesn't that mean anything?"
"I thought it did." Jimmy was getting frustrated with the conversation.
Cindy's face scrunched up in anger. "You know what? Never mind. I thought we could be mature about this, but apparently not. Have fun being alone." Cindy turned and stormed out of the gym.
Jimmy grabbed the cleaning solution forcefully and walked back over to the machine he had been using. It's so typical of her to just assume that I'd be okay with being friends. She thinks she can just get whatever she wants.
Jimmy's phone chimed a new message. He looked at it and saw that Cindy had messaged Derek: Can you talk? I've had a pretty bad day.
Immediately, Jimmy regretted his interaction with Cindy. He wanted to be the one to comfort Cindy when she was upset, not be the cause of her problems. He unlocked his phone and tapped the notification to respond to Cindy: Sure. I'm sorry you're having a bad day. What happened?
Cindy: I ran into my ex today. He can be such a jerk!
Derek: I'm sorry. Are you okay?
Cindy: Yeah, I'm okay. What are you up to?
Derek: Just heading home from practice. I have a ton of studying to catch up on.
Cindy: Do you want some help? :)
Derek: I think you would be too much of a distraction if you know what I mean ;)
Cindy huffed in frustration. Her ex wanted nothing to do with her and apparently neither did Derek. Maybe Libby was right: she was too blinded by lust.
Derek: I'm sorry. I promise once baseball season is over I'll take you out for real. I just really have to stay focused on my studies or I'll lose my scholarship. I would love to have you help me study. It's just not a great time.
Cindy smiled. It was hard to stay mad at him. Cindy: I understand. You owe me though.
A few days later
"Hey, Jimmy. Can you come help me with this? I've been trying to figure out this math thing all day," Sheen said walking into Jimmy's room.
Jimmy didn't answer. He was messaging Cindy as Derek. He had a small smile on his face as he read whatever it was Cindy had just sent.
"Hello, Jimmy?" Sheen tried again. Jimmy still didn't say anything. Sheen slammed his textbook closed and dropped it on the floor. The loud thump broke Jimmy out of his trance.
"Woah! What are you doing in my room?" Jimmy asked, startled. He shoved his phone under his pillow.
"I came to ask you a question about my math homework, but now I'm curious as to what you are doing in your room," Sheen replied.
"It's my room. I can be in here if I want."
"I didn't say you couldn't. I just want to know what was on your phone that was so interesting. What were you looking at?" Sheen interrogated.
"None of your business," Jimmy stated, eyeing his pillow.
"Jimmy, everyone watches porn. It's nothing to be ashamed of. You should probably lock your door if you're going to do that though," Sheen explained.
"I was not watching porn! Jesus, Sheen! Why do you think that's all I do when I'm in my room? Did you ever consider that I'm just trying to get away from you?" Jimmy was being mean to try to get Sheen to leave.
"Dude, it's been months since you've gotten any. I'm just saying that guys have needs."
"And I'm just saying, 'get out of my room.'"
Jimmy's phone chimed a new notification. Jimmy glanced at his pillow and then back at Sheen.
"Oh, you've been talking to someone! Tell me who. Is it another Tinder girl?" Sheen lunged at Jimmy's pillow and slid his hand underneath. Jimmy tried to beat him to it, but Sheen was too fast. He pulled out Jimmy's phone and tapped the screen to wake it up.
"Sheen, stop. Give me my phone back!" Jimmy tried to grab his phone, but Sheen held it out of Jimmy's reach.
"You're messaging Cindy? Wait. Who's Derek? Jimmy, what are you doing?"
"It's none of your business, Sheen. Just stay out of it."
"It is my business if you're catfishing your ex-girlfriend! Fuck, Jimmy! What were you thinking?"
"I was thinking that I deserved some closure. She never told me why she broke up with me, and I haven't been able to move on because of it. Was it something I did? Something I said? How can I fix a problem if I don't know what it is?" Jimmy sat down on his bed in defeat.
"How is catfishing Cindy helping you get closure?"
"She's actually talking to me. Do you know how many times I've tried to talk to her as myself? She never answers my texts. But as Derek, she tells me everything. I'm not even putting on a show. I'm just being myself and she talks to me."
"And what are you going to do when she wants to meet you in person? Surely you know that this is going to end badly."
"I don't know. I haven't really thought it through all the way," Jimmy admitted.
"Shit! For real, Jim? This is bad."
"It really is. I'm running out of excuses to not meet up. I don't know what to do."
"You have to tell her the truth," Sheen stated.
"I can't! She'll hate me forever. I admit that I made a mistake creating this fake profile, but I'm in too deep now," Jimmy admitted.
"You can't keep doing this forever!" Sheen explained. "Eventually you're going to have to come clean."
"I could just ghost her," Jimmy thought out loud. Remembering his original plan.
"Is that really what you want to do?"
"No, of course not. But I don't know what I can do."
Sheen thought for a minute. "I've got it. What if we have a party? Then—"
"How does having a party solve my problem?" Jimmy interrupted.
"Let me finish!" Sheen huffed. "We'll have a party and we'll 'invite' Derek. You tell Cindy, as Derek, that she should come to the party. She'll show up, but of course Derek won't be there. You can swoop in, as Jimmy, and save the day." Sheen smiled at his plan.
"But what if by random chance the real Derek shows up? You know a lot of people. There's a possibility of him actually being here," Jimmy pointed out the flaw in Sheen's plan.
"Okay, so if he does show up, Cindy will go talk to him and he won't know anything about her. She'll realize that someone has been catfishing her and she'll be upset, so that's when you can go and comfort her."
"I'd still be lying to her though. Fuck, Sheen! How do I fix this?"
"I don't know. But don't you kind of want to have a party now?" Sheen gave Jimmy his phone back and walked out of the room, leaving Jimmy's problem unresolved.
Jimmy's phone chimed a new notification. He saw it was from Cindy. Derek had been aloof the last few days because Jimmy was trying to decide his next course of action. Any scenario he thought of ended in disaster. He decided that he should at least message Cindy back. He didn't want to come out with the truth at the moment, but ignoring her messages was not how he wanted this to end.
He tapped on the notification expecting Instagram to pop up, so he was surprised to see his text message window appear on the screen. He looked carefully and saw that Cindy had messaged him. Jimmy, not Derek. He looked at what she had written: Hi. It was simple, yet was clearly an act of vulnerability and an attempt at compromise.
Jimmy messaged back: Hey. What's going on?
Cindy: Nothing. I need someone to talk to.
Jimmy: Is everything alright? Is Libby not around?
Cindy: I'm safe if that's what you're asking. And Libby can't really help me with what I need.
Jimmy: But I can? Jimmy needed to tread very lightly. He had no idea what was wrong, but he didn't want to upset Cindy. He deleted his text and typed something else: Oh. Is there anything I can do to help?
Cindy: Can you come over, actually? I'd rather talk in person.
Jimmy: Sure. I just need to clean up my dinner, but then I'll come over. Okay?
Cindy: Thanks, Jimmy.
Jimmy sat in a state of confusion. What on earth could Cindy need his help for? And why would she message him? They hadn't spoken to each other for months, and then they got into that argument at the gym, and haven't seen each other since. Something must be pretty awful if Cindy was contacting Jimmy for help.
He gathered his thoughts, and quickly cleaned up his dinner mess. He went to his room, changed his shirt and fixed his hair. Jimmy was grateful that he had gone to the barber the other day. He messaged Cindy that he was heading over as he closed and locked his apartment door. He made his way down the stairs and out the door. He walked the two blocks to Cindy's apartment building, climbed three flights of stairs and walked down the narrow hallway. It was only when he was standing in front of her door that he noticed his heart was pounding, and it wasn't from the quick burst of exercise he had just performed. Jimmy didn't know what to expect, but before his brain could process anything, he was knocking on the door.
After a few seconds, Cindy opened the door. She wore a weak smile. "Hi," she said.
"Hi," Jimmy replied. Cindy stepped aside so Jimmy could come inside. She closed and locked the door once he was past the door frame. Cindy said nothing else, but walked over toward the couch in the living room. Jimmy followed. They both sat down. Neither said anything.
Breaking the silence, Jimmy said, "I haven't been here in a long time."
"I did something really dumb," Cindy blurted out.
Jimmy was taken aback. "Oh. Um, is that why you messaged me?"
"Yes. No. I don't know. I guess I just thought that you wouldn't be judgemental." Cindy sat fiddling with her fingers.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Not really."
Jimmy didn't respond. If she didn't want to talk, then what did she want?
"I'm sorry for yelling at you at the gym," Cindy said after several minutes of silence. "It wasn't fair of me to just assume you would want to be friends still."
"I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have been so rude. I do want to be friends with you. It's just hard, you know?" Jimmy apologized.
"Why is it hard?"
Jimmy swallowed nervously. "Because I don't really know why we broke up in the first place. It kind of came out of nowhere."
"I thought it would be good for both of us to experience life without the commitment of a relationship. We've been together since high school and haven't really had the chance to be individual people. It's not that I stopped liking you, I wanted to see what else was out there." Cindy explained.
"You mean that you wanted to see other people?" Jimmy was trying really hard not to lose his temper.
"Not necessarily. But honestly, after a few months of being apart, it wasn't really what I thought it would be. I missed you. A lot."
Jimmy's face relaxed. "I missed you too."
There was a long pause as Jimmy and Cindy gazed at each other. Cindy leaned forward slowly trying to read Jimmy's face. Jimmy started to lean forward too. He reached up and touched Cindy's cheek right as Cindy placed her lips on his.
Their kiss was soft at first as they both tried to find their old rhythm. Cindy scooted closer to Jimmy and draped her arms on his shoulders. Jimmy turned his body towards Cindy and placed his other hand on her waist. Cindy placed her hands on the back of Jimmy's head and pulled him closer, guiding him to get on top as she moved to lie down on her back.
Jimmy repositioned himself so he was more comfortable. Then he moved his lips to Cindy's neck, knowing how much she liked being kissed there. Cindy softly sighed. She tugged at the hem of his shirt, urging him to take it off. Jimmy stopped for a moment to remove his shirt, then pulled Cindy's shirt off of her.
Cindy's eyes were dark as she looked into Jimmy's. She pulled him close to her again and kissed him fiercely. He pulled her onto his lap and held onto her hips to keep her as close to him as possible. She ground her hips against him and she could feel how hard he was. She reached down and undid the button on his pants. This caused Jimmy to stop and pull away from their passionate kiss.
Cindy gasped quietly. She opened her eyes still in a daze. "What's wrong?"
"Cindy, I…" Jimmy paused. This is what he wanted. To be with Cindy again. But he was still lying to her about Derek. He needed to tell her the truth. But there were two things preventing him from telling her right there. One: At the present moment, things had already gone too far. It wouldn't be a good time to tell her. Two: He really missed being with her. They weren't good reasons, but they were honest.
After a few seconds, Jimmy finally finished his thought, "I don't have a condom."
Cindy smiled. "Oh. Don't worry. I have some in my room. Which, we should probably go to anyway. Libby would be mortified to see us."
Cindy moved off of Jimmy and picked her shirt up off the floor. She walked over to her bedroom and looked back at Jimmy, who was still sitting on the couch. "Are you coming?" She undid the clasp on her bra and let the straps fall down her arms. She gave Jimmy a cheeky smile.
Jimmy returned the smile and shook his head. He stood up and walked over to Cindy. He grabbed her face and kissed her passionately as he guided her into her room. He used his foot to shut the door and pushed Cindy onto her bed. Cindy scooted up to her pillows as Jimmy climbed on top of her. He started to undo the button on Cindy's pants when she giggled.
"What's funny?" Jimmy asked. He paused what he was doing and looked at Cindy with a serious look on his face.
"Sorry, nothing. Didn't we come in here for a condom?" Cindy replied, trying to change the subject.
Jimmy sat back and crossed his arms, waiting for Cindy to answer his question.
Cindy furrowed her brow. "Don't look at me like that. That's so childish. If you have something to say to me, then say it."
"What was so funny?" Jimmy repeated.
"Nothing! I'm just surprised is all. I thought you hated me."
"I could never hate you, Cindy. If you thought I hated you, why did you message me?"
"I told you, I needed someone to talk to."
"Yeah, but you never told me why."
"I don't want to talk about it."
Jimmy huffed in frustration. "You wanted someone to talk to, but you don't want to talk about it. Is this why you wanted me to come over?" Jimmy gestured to the situation they were in.
"No. Well, not entirely," Cindy admitted.
Jimmy shook his head. "Unbelievable. Cindy, you can't just use me for sex. Either you want to be with me, or you don't. But I'm not going to do this friends with benefits, or one-night-stand, or hook-up, or whatever the fuck you want to call it. I've done that before, and I swore I would never do it again."
"That's not what I'm trying to do! I… I did something really dumb–"
"Yeah, you mentioned that," Jimmy interrupted.
"And I just wanted some comfort. I guess I asked the wrong person." Cindy faltered.
Jimmy relaxed his face. "No, you didn't. I'm sorry I got upset. Can I still help you?"
Cindy hesitated, then softly nodded.
"How can I help?" Jimmy asked. He was trying his best not to be judgemental, even though he knew that sleeping together wouldn't solve Cindy's problem.
"Can you just lie down with me for a little bit? I always slept really well when you were next to me, and I haven't slept all that much the last few nights," Cindy asked as she made room for Jimmy to lie down beside her.
Jimmy smiled softly and moved in next to Cindy. She nestled in next to Jimmy and closed her eyes. Jimmy looked down at Cindy briefly before closing his own eyes. He didn't sleep though. He was trying to think of a way that he could have this again for real without screwing everything up. Any plan he thought of either ended with him continuing to lie to Cindy, or ended with him coming clean and Cindy hating him forever.
It wasn't long before Jimmy found himself nodding off. He blinked several times to wake himself up and started to move slowly and quietly so he wouldn't disturb Cindy.
"Please don't go," Cindy muttered. Jimmy sighed as he settled back into the bed. "Thank you," Cindy whispered.
Jimmy felt guilty. If Cindy knew the truth, she would never speak to him again. He decided to give himself an hour, and then he would head home.
The beep of Cindy's phone alarm startled Jimmy awake. He looked at his watch and mentally cursed himself. It was eight in the morning. He had fallen asleep at Cindy's and accidentally spent the night.
Cindy reached over and turned off her alarm. She smiled at Jimmy. "I guess you kind of fell asleep, huh?"
"I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to spend the night. I'll get going." Jimmy stood up and looked around for his shirt that had been removed the evening before when things were going a different direction.
Cindy shrugged. "No need to apologize. That's the first time I've had a full night's sleep in I don't know how long."
Jimmy had to admit that she was right. He hadn't slept that well in a very long time. "Same for me. I really should be going though."
"Stay for a coffee at least," Cindy insisted.
Jimmy nodded. "Can I use your bathroom?"
"Of course. I'm guessing you remember where it is?" Cindy joked.
Jimmy chuckled as he walked out of the bedroom.
Cindy walked into the kitchen to put a pot of coffee on. She felt refreshed. She felt better. The thought of Derek ghosting her for the last few days didn't hurt so much anymore. Honestly, she felt like she was ready to move on. She had chatted online with Derek for a few weeks, but despite her best efforts, he couldn't (or wouldn't) meet up with her in person. That behavior was suspicious and catfishy. While she didn't think she and Jimmy would be getting back together anytime soon, Cindy suddenly felt okay with not being with someone. This time she was going to be single because it was what she wanted. Not because of some made up idea that she needed to experience life by herself.
Cindy pulled her phone out to message Derek. She needed to tell him now, or else she would chicken out. She opened Instagram and swiped over to her DMs. Derek's name was at the top of the list. She typed out a message: We need to talk. It was the most cliché breakup text, but she didn't know what else to say. Afterall, they did need to talk because he hadn't talked to her in days.
Cindy took a deep breath and hit send. About one second later she heard a chime coming from the living room. She walked over and saw Jimmy's phone sitting on the coffee table, the screen illuminated showing a new notification. Cindy felt her heart race and the color drain from her face as she picked up the phone and saw the message she had just sent to Derek. Cindy's eyes started to sting as she fought back the tears of betrayal.
Cindy heard the toilet flush and quickly pulled herself together. Jimmy would be out any second and she needed to keep her composure. Cindy tried to think of what she was going to say. She just needed to stay calm.
Jimmy walked into the living room and immediately, Cindy's plan to stay calm was forgotten. "What the fuck, Jimmy!"
Jimmy stopped in his tracks, in shock. "What?"
Cindy forcefully threw his phone at him.
Jimmy barely caught his phone and was confused until he looked at the screen and saw the notification for Derek that was sent two minutes earlier. Jimmy's eyes widened in panic. "Cindy, just let me explain–"
"Get the fuck out of my house!" Cindy screamed.
"Cindy, please!" Jimmy begged.
"Get the fuck out of my house!" Cindy screamed again.
Suddenly, Libby ran into the living room. "Cindy, what's wrong?" She turned and saw Jimmy. "Neutron? What are you doing here?"
"Cindy, I can explain. Just give me a chance–"
"Jimmy, just go," Libby interrupted.
Jimmy's heart sank. Without another word, he left the girls' apartment.
"What the hell was that?" Libby asked Cindy after Jimmy left.
"It doesn't matter. He's a bastard who can rot in Hell for all I care." Cindy walked past Libby to go back to the kitchen.
"Cindy, at least tell me what he did to make you so upset."
"The motherfucker catfished me, okay!" Cindy shouted.
"Shit, you mean he was Derek?"
"Yes, so now you can say 'I told you so,' because of course you were right. You knew that Derek was a catfish the whole time. I just didn't want to believe you."
"Hey, I didn't know he was a catfish, I just guessed. But I never would have guessed that Jimmy was the person behind it. What an asshole!" Libby responded.
"Whatever, I'm done talking about it. Derek never existed, and Jimmy is dead to me."
Libby walked over to her friend and gave her a hug. "I get it, I do, but don't you want to at least know why he did it?"
Cindy squirmed out of the hug. "No, I don't. It doesn't change anything. Whatever his reasons were don't matter. He chose to deceive me, and that is reason enough to never talk to him again."
The bass of the music playing in the living room was rattling the shelves in Jimmy's room. He couldn't believe that Sheen actually threw a party. After Jimmy told Sheen what happened at Cindy's, Jimmy figured Sheen would forget his stupid plan. But now Jimmy was convinced that Sheen didn't actually want to help him with his Cindy problem, but just wanted an excuse to throw a party.
Jimmy sighed and closed his laptop. He wasn't going to be able to get any work done with the noise. He slid off his bed and opened the door. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Jimmy walked out and headed for the kitchen. He needed a drink, and fast.
After the incident at Cindy's a few days ago, Jimmy had been avoiding any and all social interactions. He had fucked up and he knew it. But the worst part was that he didn't think there was any way for him to fix it.
Jimmy grabbed a beer from the cooler and tried to sneak back to his bedroom. He might not be able to get work done, but that didn't mean he wanted to socialize.
"Jimmy!" Sheen hollered from the living room. Jimmy cringed. "Get your ass over here, man!" Jimmy could tell that Sheen was already pretty drunk. He sighed and walked into the living room. Facing Sheen head on was better than trying to ignore him.
"Dude," Sheen slurred when Jimmy made it to the couch where Sheen was sitting with a group of people. "Tell them about that thing."
"What thing?" Jimmy asked, playing along.
"You know that thing about the baseball team and how you were–"
"Sheen, nobody wants to hear about that," Jimmy cut Sheen off before he said anything embarrassing.
"Come on, man. They'll understand. We all do stupid shit when we're in love."
"Thanks a lot, Sheen." Jimmy stormed off, angry and embarrassed.
Jimmy was walking back towards his bedroom when the front door opened and Libby and Cindy walked in. Jimmy stopped dead in his tracks about ten feet from Cindy.
"Great. I knew this was a bad idea, Libby," Cindy muttered. She turned to leave, but Libby blocked the doorway.
"Nuh-uh you are not leaving. This is the only decent party tonight, and you need to stop holing up in your room. You don't have to talk to him, just pretend like he's not here." Libby grabbed Cindy's hand and pulled her toward the kitchen to get a drink, glaring at Jimmy as they walked away.
Why did Sheen invite them? Jimmy thought. He knows what happened. Jimmy walked back over to Sheen to confront him. "I need to talk to you. Now."
"Damn, okay." Sheen stood up and followed Jimmy to the hallway. "What's up?"
"Why the fuck did you invite Libby and Cindy?"
"Libby's here? Shit! You have to help me sober up!"
"Sheen! Stay focused. Why did you invite them after I told you what happened at Cindy's?"
"I always invite Libby. I didn't think she would bring Cindy. And I sure as hell didn't think Cindy would actually come."
"This is bad. What should I do?" Jimmy begged.
"Here. You need to relax." Sheen handed Jimmy a plastic sandwich bag that had a few joints in it.
Jimmy rolled his eyes. "Sheen, I'm serious."
"So am I. It's medicinal. You know, for your anxiety." Sheen winked before wandering back to the party.
Jimmy sighed and headed back to his room. He tossed the weed onto his desk and lay down on his bed. If he had just been honest with Cindy in the beginning and asked her why she broke up with him, none of this would have happened. He was mad at himself for letting things get so far out of control.
After several minutes, Jimmy sat up. He eyed the bag on his desk. Fuck it. He thought. He slid off his bed, opened up the top drawer of his desk and pulled out his lighter. He grabbed the bag, opened his bedroom door and walked straight out onto the balcony.
Cindy and Libby were in the kitchen and Libby was talking to some girl from one of her classes. Cindy was just trying to get through the evening. She was mentally cursing herself for letting Libby talk her into coming to this party. Cindy sipped on her wine cooler and looked around the room to see if she recognized anybody. She saw Carl in the living room chatting up some girl. Cindy marched over to them.
"Can we help you?" the girl sneered.
"Go away before I mess up that face of yours," Cindy threatened. The girl scoffed, stood up and left.
"What the hell, Cindy," Carl complained. "I was talking to her."
"That was going nowhere. You know it. I know it. She knows it. Look, I need to talk to you," Cindy said as she sat down.
"I'm guessing this is about Jimmy."
"Of course it is."
"Look, I don't think it's really my place to–"
"Please, Carl? Libby is on an I-told-you-so kick and I just need somebody who can listen to my side without judging me."
Carl sighed, but nodded, indicating that he was ready and willing to listen. Cindy smiled and told him everything that happened from her point of view.
"So now I don't know what to do. I'm still really upset, but I also know that I wasn't completely fair to Jimmy either. I never explained why we broke up, and I never gave him a chance to explain why he catfished me. We've both just been really immature. What do you think I should do?" Cindy asked as she finished her story.
"Maybe you should talk to him. I know you're upset, but if you want to clear the air and move on, that seems like the best way to do it."
"I was afraid you were going to say that," Cindy grumbled.
"Look, you admitted that you were being immature. The best way to prove that you aren't is to clear the air. You don't have to date him again. You don't even have to be friends with him again, but it seems like you can't move on until you talk to him."
"Okay, okay. I know you're right. Do you know where he is?"
"No, I don't. He was in his room earlier."
"Thanks, Carl." Cindy smiled as she stood up.
"Yeah, yeah. Now I gotta find some other girl to talk to since you so rudely interrupted the last one," Carl joked.
Cindy scanned the room quickly and spotted a girl she knew from her apartment building. "Go talk to that girl. She lives in my building. She's super nice and I heard that she likes nerdy looking guys." Carl rolled his eyes but smiled as he stood up to go talk to the girl Cindy pointed out.
After Carl walked away, Cindy tried to decide what to do. She knew that Carl was right: she needed to talk to Jimmy. She hated to admit it, but she needed him to explain to her why he did what he did. She needed to decide if she could forgive him.
Cindy was feeling overwhelmed and needed some air. She walked over to the sliding glass door that led to the balcony. When she opened the door she heard a gasp and then some coughing. Startled, Cindy turned and saw Jimmy sitting on the cement floor coughing into his arm, holding a joint between his fingers. She started laughing as Jimmy caught his breath. "Forget how to smoke?" she said sitting down next to him.
"It's been awhile, okay?" Jimmy replied. He offered her the joint.
Cindy took it and took a long drag. "Sorry I scared you. I didn't think anyone would be out here," she said releasing the smoke. She passed the joint back.
"Whatever. What are you doing here?" Jimmy asked accusingly, taking another hit.
"I was actually looking for you. I was hoping we could talk about everything that happened."
"Oh," was all Jimmy said. He passed the joint over to Cindy.
Cindy held it in her fingers but didn't smoke. "Why are you out here getting high by yourself?" she finally said after several seconds of silence. She didn't want to have their tough conversation just yet.
"It's medicinal. For anxiety," Jimmy deadpanned. He tried not to smile.
Cindy laughed loudly. "Right, I'm so sure. Is that what Sheen told you to say?" She took a drag and passed the joint back to Jimmy. She held the smoke in her mouth as long as she could before she started coughing.
"Now who forgot how to smoke?" Jimmy laughed. As they both calmed down, Jimmy said, "Listen, I know what I did was wrong. And I'm genuinely, truly sorry. I'm sorry that I tricked you, and I'm sorry that I wasn't honest with you. I should have just asked you why you broke up with me in the first place. I was immature and I promise I won't do anything like that ever again."
"I'm sorry too. I wasn't fair to you. I should have told you why I wanted to end things. I was being immature too." Cindy pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. She was feeling very vulnerable, which she hated.
Jimmy took a long drag before saying, "So why did you break up with me?" He passed it over to Cindy as he waited for her answer.
"Well, the short answer is to say that I wanted to see what else was out there. But I already told you that. The long answer is that I was feeling sorry for myself because I saw Libby constantly going out with all these different people and I guess I was a little jealous. I haven't ever really dated around just for fun. It seemed like it was something I was supposed to do in college. That's what so many people do. It's not that I didn't love you, Jimmy. I did. I do. But I was scared that I was missing out on something." Cindy took a long drag before passing the joint back. "I know it's not a great reason to break up with someone, but I was being stupid. I wish I could take it back."
Jimmy sat in silence, processing what Cindy said. She was right: it was a stupid reason. But Jimmy completely understood her reasoning. There is so much pressure and stigma about how people in college are supposed to behave. Sleeping around and experimenting sexually were practically rites of passage for college students. And while she didn't come out right and say it, Cindy was feeling like she was falling behind socially.
"I get it," Jimmy finally said. "I feel the same way sometimes. Remember when I was over at your house and I told you I didn't want to just hook up? After we broke up I tried to be that guy. I thought that's what I was supposed to do after a break up, because that's what everyone else does. But I hated it. I started to think something was wrong with me. That was a rabbit hole that I spiraled down quickly. Eventually I thought that I must have done something or said something to make you break up with me. I wanted to know what it was, but I was too afraid to ask. That's why I made up Derek. I was hoping that I could somehow get you to trust him enough to tell him why you dumped me. It's stupid, I know."
Cindy chuckled. "Just think: if we had been honest and upfront with each other in the beginning, none of this would have happened. We might even still be together."
"Yeah," Jimmy replied, taking a hit and passing the joint to Cindy. "Did you mean it?"
Cindy took a hit off the joint and looked at Jimmy, confused. "Mean what?"
"You said you still love me. Did you mean it?"
"Oh, that." Cindy blushed. "Of course I meant it. It doesn't mean I'm still not angry with you though."
"I one hundred percent expect you to still be angry with me. Looking back, I can't believe I even considered catfishing you. That has to be one of the dumbest ideas I've ever had. And I've invented some pretty fucking stupid things."
"As dumb as sitting on a balcony getting high with your ex-girlfriend?" Cindy laughed, taking another hit before passing the joint over.
Jimmy chuckled and took a hit. "Well, this beats sitting in there pretending to have fun."
Cindy leaned her head against Jimmy's shoulder. "Do you think it's possible for us to be friends?"
"I hope so, Cindy. I really do," Jimmy replied.
Author's Note: There you have it. I know the ending leaves something to be desired. I did that on purpose. I didn't want this story to be all wrapped up neatly because it wouldn't be honest. The betrayal that both Cindy and Jimmy feel toward each other is something that would take time to heal.
I'm considering doing a spinoff story about Sheen and Libby. Is that something that would interest you? Leave a review or PM and let me know.
Thanks for reading!