The next day Kermit and the lads were chilling in the Great Hall. They had the hour off, but the weather outside was absolutely horrible. So they decided to stay inside and vibe to MCR and the Thomas the tank engine theme song, which was Kermit's personal favourite tune. The songs were being played on a large black boom box that had MEAN GREEN GANSTA written on it in green paint.

'Oh yeah!' Kermit exclaimed, whilst he was head banging to the Thomas the tank engine theme song.

'This shit goes SO hard!' Suddenly Kermit's phone rang. Kermit was slightly annoyed that someone was interrupting his vibe. But he decided to check his phone anyway. Kermit looked down, grabbed the phone from his super edgy black robe, and he turned it on.

Kermit gasped longingly. It was a text was a text from Lord Voldemort himself! He was overjoyed.

Hey babe, how u doing? UwU 3 said the text.

Kermit always tried to remain cool and edgy. But every time the dark Lord called him babe, his little green hart skipped a beat! That was probably because he had a chronic cardiovascular disease. But his love for Voldemort certainly played a part in it to. Kermit tried to hide his blush, and replied:

Nothing much, just chillin with da bois vibin to MCR and Thomas the tank engine. How 'bout you?

Did that how 'bout you part sound a bit to pushy? Kermit wondered. Like, I want to show interest in him. But I don't want to be a creepy groupie like that weirdo Bellatrix. Just as Kermit thought this, Voldemort had replied to his text.

Im doing fine but like, oh mah gaaaaaaaaaawwwwwd u listen to MCR! Gerard is sooooooooooo hot. But like not, as hot as u babe ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 3

This time, Kermit couldn't hide his blush. Not only did Voldy call him babe again. He also said that Kermit was somehow hotter than My Chemical Romance's lead singer Gerard Way! (like whaaaaat?! Isn't that impossible?!) Kermit had always known that he had loved Voldy. But at this moment, he knew, that they were destined to be the greatest power couple in the entire wizarding world. Kermit was blushing so hard that his cheeks turned from their normal sexy green, into a deep red. He let out a small giggle.

'Hey Kermit, are you all right mate?' Asked Draco in a concerned tone after seeing Kermit blushing.

'Shut up ya little bitch boy.' Replied Kermit swiftly. Whilst staring at Draco with an unmoving, unforgiving look on his face.

'Okay sorry I won't do it again…' Draco replied softly.

After staring at Draco for an uncomfortably long amount of time Kermit redirected his attention to his phone. He send Lord Voldemort one last message.

Luv u hottie but now I gotta go with the bois to potions class with those stupid Gryffindorks

Kermit got up, turned off the boom box and pointed his wand at it to cast a spell. The boom box exploded when Kermit produced the nonverbal spell, because it was easier to blow it up than to store it away.

'All right lads let's go to potions class.' Kermit commanded.

The lads all got up immediately and they started walking behind the menacingly hooded Kermit. But just as they were about to leave the Great hall, they ran into Harry Potter and his Gryffindor friends!

'Potter? Shouldn't you and your Gryffindork friends be in Snape's class?' asked Kermit bitterly because he was a super edgy edgelord.

'No! We just came from Snape's class.' replied Harry. 'Why weren't you and your 'servants' there?'

'Well…' said Kermit softly, his smirk being the only thing visible under the black cloak covering the rest of his face. 'Because we-. Wait what do you mean you just came from Snape's class?' Asked Kermit in a confused manner. A realisation then dawned upon him. Oh shit! Thought Kermit to himself. I mixed up our free hour with our potion class! Okay, let's try to change the subject so that Potter won't realize that I fucked up.

'Did you just call Draco my 'servant'?' Asked Kermit, trying to be as intimidating as possible.

'Yeah. I did, and what about Crabbe and Goyle?' replied Harry. 'Are you just going to ignore them?'

'Crabbe and Goyle aren't important okay, the author just wrote them in here to make my gang seem more intimidating. Draco is the only one that's going to get character development.' Harry had an extremely confused look on his face. Kermit ignored that and he asked:

'Speaking of ignored characters. Where is Weasel?' Hermione suddenly appeared next to Harry.

'Ron is still in the dungeons.' She said. 'He told us that he had some extremely important business to attend to.'

'What kind of important business could Weasel be attending to?' Asked Kermit in a disgusted and derogatory way. Hermione was extremely shocked.

'I am SURE that it is some VERY important business like… uhm… or maybe…' Hermione was very puzzled. She was clearly in a state of deep thought.

Actually, what WOULD Ron be doing? Asked Hermione to herself.

MEANWHILE IN THE DUNGEONS

Ron was standing alone in a dark, empty, damp hallway. The air was thick and warm. There was a sort of eeriness that most student didn't like. He was standing in front of two rats. Ron stared at them continuously without blinking his eyes ones. A huge grin appeared beneath his dead, soulless eyes as the two rats started fornicating. Ron slowly removed his clothes, one item at a time without breaking eye contact once. Eventually, Ron removed his last clothing item, his extremely tight underwear, revealing a surprisingly GIGANTIC penis that was now erect. Ron kept standing there whilst the rats were STILL going at it. He still hadn't broken eye contact, he still hadn't blinked and he never stopped smiling.

He was just watching.

RON LIKED TO WATCH…

BACK IN THE GREAT HALL

Kermit and Hermione were having a heated discussion about Ron. But to Draco, it all just sounded like white noise. Their mindless bickering was but a wave that hit Draco's body and washed away, seeping through his stinky toes back into the sea. Never to be seen from or heard from again. No, Draco couldn't possibly focus on the conversation, even if his life depended on it. For he was focused on something far more important. Something that made his heart flutter. Something, or should I say someone, that gave meaning to his meaningless existence.

HARRY. POTTER. (Yes of course there's Drarry in here, what did you honestly expect?)

Draco maybe called him Saint Potter in public as an insult. But in reality, Harry really WAS his Saint. Draco's mind started to wander off into daydreams where he was spending endless summer nights with Harry Potter.

But then Draco noticed something… Harry was looking at him too! And he was blushing! Harry walked up to Draco, ignoring Kermit and Hermione, who were now practically trying to kill each other. Draco smiled shyly. What was he supposed to do in a situation like this!? Harry chuckled and said:

'Hey, do you maybe want to meet up at the Quidditch field later today?'

Draco was shocked. He couldn't believe it! THE Harry Potter had just asked him out! Was this a date? Or did he want to be just friends? Harry's blushing cheeks and sparkling eyes gave away that he wanted more than just friendship, and Draco noticed that.

'Of course I would!' Replied Draco, trying his best to sound cool and collected, but failing utterly at that task. 'When do you want to meet up?'

'Is after dinner okay with you?' asked Harry.

'Perfect!' Said Draco joyfully, his face absolutely beaming. 'I'll see you there!'

They had barely finished their conversation. But from the corner of his eye, Draco saw that Kermit had taken his wand out of his cloak, and he heard:

'Avada Kadavra, bitch.'

Hermione's lifeless body was catapulted through the doors of the Great hall. Her body slammed into the wall behind the doors, leaving a big blood stain on the wall as her corpse fell to the ground.

'HOLY SHIT DID YOU JUST KILL HER!?' Shouted Harry hysterically as he ran towards Hermione's lifeless body.

'Yeah, what about?' replied Kermit casually.

Beads of sweat were rolling down the face of Draco and his heart started to beat at an uncomfortably fast pace. Draco had seen Kermit commit murder before, but this was different. This wasn't just some stupid teacher that nobody cared about like McGonagall. This time he killed a fellow student, and not just any student at that. This was Hermione Granger, one of Harry's best friends!

Not only did it fill Draco's heart with sadness to see his beloved Harry in so much pain. It also filled his heart with fear, because everyone knew that you shouldn't fuck with Potter or his friends. (Actually, Draco DID want to fuck with Potter, but that was a different kind of 'fucking with'.)

Harry turned back to Kermit, Hell's fires BURNING in his eyes.

'WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'WHAT ABOUT IT!'?' Shouted Harry so hard that his voice started to break.

'Jesus, calm down dude, I just killed her.' Kermit rolled his ping pong ball eyes. Ugh, what a Karen! Thought Kermit to himself.

Harry's eyes widened as his jaw fell down to the floor in complete shock.

'YOU CAN'T JUST KILL SOMEBODY!' Harry had shouted so much that his voice had completely given out by the end of the sentence.

'Yes I can.' Replied Kermit calmly.

…

Harry stared at Kermit, his face turned completely red.

…

Kermit stared back at Harry with his 'Soulless Ultra Giga Chad Death StareTM.'

…

'Oh okay then.' Remarked Harry casually. Then Harry and his Gryffindor friends left the Great Hall.

'Okay boys let's go!' Said Kermit.

As Kermit and his boys made their way back to the Slytherin common room, Draco was lost in his own world. He was having sweet day dreams about him and Saint Potter. But little did Draco know that Kermit was also dreaming about his sweetheart, Lord Voldemort!

Kermit knew that he and Voldy could spend some time texting each other during the break. He was sure that the dark Lord had another mission for him and his goons…

A/N Thank you so much for reading the second chapter, I hoped you liked it! I'll try to update as soon as I can, I think that will be once every 3 days or so. (Don't kill if I miss a day or two ;-).) But anyways, the plot thickens! So stay tuned for the next chapter: Hagrid, the Satanic Crackhead!