"It's okay, life is a tough crowd. Thirty-two and still growin' up now." — Taylor Swift (Innocent)
1000th Ghost, the greatest sister in the entire world, is turning 32, and, as such, it is my humble duty to write even more fics for all her random couples. If all goes according to plan, I will be doing this challenge until the end of time, and no one can stop me. *evil chuckle*
Challenge Rules: I wrote 10 mini fics, one for each couple. Then, for each couple, I shuffled my music, and paired them with the first song that came on. Also, I set a timer that decreased by 1 minute after each ship. Ex. #1 ship = 10 min, #2 ship = 9 min, etc, #10 ship = 1 min.
Note: While you don't need to listen to the songs before reading the fics, I might recommend it.
All bolded words throughout: Me
Okay, have so much fun! I hope you enjoy it!
1. JacobxIvy (Venal Thou) - "Daisy" by Ashnikko - 10 min. timer
Ughhh, okay so here's the thing. The ship alone pushed me into a hole, but the song sent me another six feet down. Anyway, I freaked out and about halfway through the song, as something of a defense mechanism, I decided to just full send it and write you Jivy smut. Also, this technically takes place within the mystical fourth book that you described to me (in graphic detail). You're welcome.
Jacob pushed her into the bed, then decided that wasn't nearly enough contact and pressed her back up into him, flush against the flexed muscle of his rigid frame. His mouth traversed every inch of her skin that he could reach, memorizing the path and every detail he encountered as heat flooded his veins.
Her small hand was around him, working him up and down into a frenzy while she panted helplessly into his ear. It was too much. They were too much. If he had his way, they would never leave this room again.
Her dark curly hair was embellished with small clusters of daisies, and he considered it a homage from the universe to the past he'd lived. Was still living, he corrected, because this girl, his Ivy, was his past, present, and future until the end of time. What a lovely, pure thought to have as she stroked his fervid erection.
He cursed, internally, externally, every way he possibly could, and she giggled breathlessly.
Ivy didn't curse. Not frequently, anyway. Even in her most passionate fits of rage, screaming at his portrait about whatever dramatics were encompassing her life, he'd never heard her use foul language.
He was not enough of a gentleman for that, especially given the circumstances and the absolute wonders she was performing. They had just found each other, truly this time, there was no space for wondering about pesky things like morals.
"Frick, dude, you're so hot. Gimme more. Now."
Ivy did, however, use odd modern language. Slang, she'd halfheartedly told him one day, as if perceiving his lack of understanding just from the stale air of the study.
He supposed it could be a bit of a barrier now that they had access to actual real time back and forth conversation, but the way her hips started grinding into his cleared up all confusion without any words at all. See, they worked together in every sense of the word. No matter the iteration or time frame, they belonged with each other. To each other.
He reached a hand between her legs and relished in the moan that resulted. Desperately, she bit into his shoulder, strong enough to draw blood, yet he had never felt more carefree. This, this moment, planned from a millennium away, was finally transpiring, and nothing had been nor would be more perfect ever again.
That night, after she had fallen asleep, he plucked the daisies from her hair and scattered them across the pillow and nightstand, dizzy from the familiarity of it all. He tucked himself in around her, arm encircling her waist, and assured himself that he'd never let go.
I don't know man, I panicked. I know this is a present, but I feel like I deserve some kind of compensation for the absolute strain this caused. Whew boy.
2. SaraphinaxJacob (Lovely Haunts) - "Wiggle" by Jason Derulo - 9 min. timer
Bahahahaha. That was laughter of fear, to be clear.
Jacob's boney hands clung to her ribs, then spine, then hips, tracing the once familiar journey as their teeth and skulls crashed into each other. He loved her, eternally, and was beyond lucky to be reunited with her, even if not in the alive, physical way they once were. The feeling of her wide hip bones in the palm of his hands was enough to take him back to the early days, back when nothing mattered except her and him and the love they made together.
Saraphina had been slight when she arrived, malnourished surely, but beautiful. He knew in an instant, from just a single second of wavering eye contact, that he would make her his own.
The ample meals and treats he provided her helped fill her out in no time, and he was transfixed on how she began to move, the prominent sway of her backside beneath layers of petticoats and skirts. He'd swear sometimes that she was flaunting it on purpose, holding it out to him like a carrot on a string.
A dangerous game to play, surely.
When he finally bed her, it was difficult to hold onto any semblance of self control. Every part of her, every inch that he uncovered, peeling her nightgown off like wrapping paper, was absolutely delectable and sent his muscles into convulsions at the mere sight.
He'd later think back on the night with a sort of mirth at the schoolboy like feelings she managed to arouse in him. Especially as he watched her then ample hips bounce back against him, moving in time with his sporadic thrusts.
Yes, he thought, as he lay in their constricted coffin, he no longer got quite that show from her, his glorious Saraphina, his beautiful little whore, but he had memories to last till the end of time itself, and that was more than enough.
Let's play a fun game called 'How many times will I accidentally write you smut?' The answer is all of the times, apparently.
3. LadybugxAdrien (Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir) - "Blackbird" by The Beatles - 8 min. timer
OH BOY, MIRACULOUS TIME! Also, this is my 7th favorite song ever. What a possibly nice combo. It is, however, not a very smutty song, which is upsetting because, oh, I would so rather write slurpage for them. But it's ok, I'll make do.
"Meet me in the park tonight at midnight. I need advice. –A.A."
Ladybug had read the note at least two dozen times over, trying to decipher how exactly the writer had gotten it into her possession in the first place. There had been an akuma attack, she and Chat Noir had resolved said attack with very little outside interference, and then she left.
But, regardless, she had received it, and now she was making her way down the dark streets of Paris, nearly deserted save for a few drunk partiers and overeager tourists.
She saw him sitting there on a bench, elbows hunched to his knees and hood over his eyes.
"Adrien?"
He jolted and looked up at her, shaken. He had the same deep circles imprinted under his eyes that he'd had in school for the past month. She assumed it was from lack of sleep. Or stress. Or both.
"Ladybug, you came." He smiled.
"Of course, I'm always here to help citizens in need." She tried to silence the drumbeat of her heart as she sat tentatively next to him. "What do you need?"
A deep breath in and out, then he determinedly met her eyes. "I want to run away. From my father."
She choked. "From Gabriel? Why? Where will you go?"
"I'll stay in the city, just away from him. I have my own funds and I can take care of myself. But I don't want him to come looking for me. I need freedom. And I was hoping you and Chat Noir could help settle any aftershocks of me leaving."
"Oh, o-of course, I– we would be glad to help you."
He nodded, but something in his resolve seemed fragile. "This is just–" his voice broke "–something I need to do, you know?"
She swallowed the butterflies threatening to spew from her stomach and reached a gloved hand up and around his shoulder until he was shaking into her embrace. "This is your moment, Adrien. And I know how harsh he is. Do whatever you need to do, but know that you can always rely on me."
He nodded again and hugged her back, firmly holding her against his chest, and she'd never felt more content.
Poor little sunshine boy. You go live your best life. And smash Ladybug.
4. MarinettexChat Noir (Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir) - "Love Story" cover by Sarah Cothren - 7 min. timer
Okay so for reference, this song is just "Love Story" by Taylor Swift but sung in a minor key, so suddenly it goes from cute beautiful fairytale to haunting depraved romance. Hot diggity.
This was not a love story. Of that, she was abundantly clear. Because there would be no perfect happy ending, white dress and fairytale kiss.
Marinette didn't love Chat Noir, and he didn't love her.
What this was… it was physical. It had happened by accident, a glitch in her routine, a catalyst that spiraled into an irredeemable mess.
It started when they were young, trivial meetings on her balcony, seeking innocent comfort from a familiar source. They complained about their lives, their unrequited loves, the affection they both desperately craved.
She should have known that emotions held that high for so long around a single person were bound to one day boil over.
They always kept quiet, mutually understanding the consequences should they be discovered. Her father already didn't like him, truly believed that Chat Noir broke her heart, and catching them in one of these fits of passion would surely send him over the edge.
And that was besides the humiliation it would cause her, to have her own father believe that her love for this masked renegade was deep enough for her to give herself over to him without any amount of commitment. The reality might have been worse.
Because it wasn't love.
Lust, maybe. Because he was attractive, and sometimes when she closed her eyes and turned away she could pretend that it was Adrien touching her, blonde hair and green eyes and greedy hands.
She wondered if it was the same for him. It must be easy enough to imagine she was Ladybug, giving into his pleas, letting him possess her fully.
He'd whisper things to her, too, mouth words against her skin, send her nerves aflame. He talked of a future, promises she knew he didn't mean, but it provided some kind of solace apart from the truth of it all.
This was out of presumed necessity, not want. There wouldn't be a happily ever after to this twisted tale of theirs, because it just wasn't possible, and, Heaven help her, she didn't care.
HELLO YES THIS WAS SO FUN TO WRITE. SIN SHIP FOR THE WIN!
5. AdrienxMarinette (Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir) - "Pretty Fly for a Rabbi" by "Weird Al" Yankovic - 6 min. timer
I- I don't know what to do with this. I am truly speechless.
Marinette's interest first peaked around a one off comment he made after winter break. Nino had been asking about his Christmas when Adrien kind of froze up and blurted, "I don't really celebrate Christmas."
Another was when the career fair came around and Adrien spent a bit too long at the synagogue table, complimenting the rabbi on his robes.
But the nail in the coffin was when everyone in Kitty Section decided to light their next show by candlelight, and Adrien contributed an entire menorah, then acted oblivious when Alya asked him about it.
All signs pointed to one conclusion: Adrien was secretly Jewish.
Marinette's main concern became making sure Adrien knew she would be accepting of him and his love, no matter his beliefs. As such, she started attending synagogue services all over Paris, looking for him, but to no avail. She met several officials of the religion, even began picking up on a bit of Hebrew, but Adrien never made his presence known.
Tired and confused, she confronted him, laid out all her evidence, handed him a bagel fresh from the bakery, then told him it was okay.
"Marinette, I'm not Jewish," he said slowly, placing a hand on her shoulder.
"Y-you're not?"
"No."
"B-but what about all the– "
"The rabbi's robes were super cool, and I notice things like that. The menorah was just the most amount of candles I could find at a pawn shop, not an ancient family heirloom. And I don't celebrate Christmas because my dad doesn't believe in merriment anymore."
"Oh. I'm so sorry, I don't know what I was thinking."
"It's okay, it was really nice of you regardless." He pulled her in for a hug and a chaste kiss on the cheek that made her heart blossom. "I promise I'll tell you if I convert to Judaism."
Oy vey.
I don't know how to feel. I do feel confident that Marinette would fully convert to another religion just to be with him, though.
6. ReyxKylo Ren/Ben Solo (Star Wars) - "All Is Found" by Evan Rachel Wood (from "Frozen 2") - 5 min. Timer
Oh my goodness gracious, it's my OTP! Hi, space babies, I love you very much! This feels like seeing a teacher outside of school. Wild.
It was eerily familiar, the dark cavern Rey found herself in. It spun her back to the island of Ahch-To, to her desperate search for her parents, to the comfort she had found in the most unexpected place.
She was on a similar journey this time, she supposed, trying to find her home, the place where she belonged.
The Jedi texts were there to guide her this time, though, on her treacherous quest to the World Between Worlds. So even as the biting, mystical winds blew from the river, she kept onwards, an unwavering confidence backing her as the thin light from her torch illuminated the ancient symbols on the cave walls.
She would find Ben, and she would bring him back. Finally.
It really wasn't fair, the way they departed. A single kiss, an all consuming urge to meld with him, a thousand unspoken promises swirling around them, the peaceful humming of the Force, and then nothing. The universe stole him, ripped him away from her bare hands. Just like everything else.
Not anymore. She wouldn't allow it. She was taking charge of her destiny, of what life had planned for her, because she would never be alone again, no matter what.
She held her torch higher, assured in her step, and continued forward.
And then she finds him and they smash and live happily ever after. Theeee Endddd.
7. LydiaxBeetlejuice (Beetlejuice) - "All For Us" by Labrinth - 4 min. timer
Huh. I do really ship this, but huh.
They were mutually selfish. That's what it came down to.
He, obviously, looked out for himself, for ways to scam the world and put himself a bit ahead. Hers was less obvious, but still present to those who knew her well, and he did, at this point.
Lydia controlled the things around her with her morose story and her dark, gloomy clothing and her halfhearted threats because it gave her a kind of power, however morbid. He admired her greatly for it.
He was unsure when their individual selfish endeavors had merged into what they were now. A relationship of sorts. Friends with benefits, but also complicated things like feelings if he squinted. An entirely unethical matter, seeing as they were both using the other for personal gain, and yet no complaints were put forward.
They didn't work, nor make sense, but they understood each other, in whatever odd way. Besides, she was beautiful, and he had his charming personality and winning smile that always got a snicker out of her.
And now, a massive inconvenience really, when he considered what to do with himself, plans for his afterlife, thoughts of how it would affect her always came into play. They worked as a duo. Unofficially, but still. Everything he did was done for both of them, and he didn't plan on stopping.
Hehe, Beetlejuice having feelings.
8. Moanna/OfeliaxPan/Faun (Pan's Labyrinth) - "Wonderwall" by Oasis - 3 min. timer
Oh dear goodness, the time has come. I remember not one single thing about this movie. Not one. How fun. Maui and Bread, ready or not, here I come.
"You saved me." Ofelia—Moanna—smiled at him the first chance she got, overjoyed and thankful for all that he had done. All that she now understood.
"Of course, little one," he hummed.
She'd been scared of him originally, but now, bathed in the eternal golden light of her kingdom, he was beautiful, just like everything else. This perfect life that she had fallen from, and he was the one to have brought her back. She owed him the universe and more.
"You'll stay with me, won't you? Keep me safe?"
"Of course, it's my duty."
"I mean as a friend, Faun. You're wonderful."
His stoney face turned up in some sort of grin. "As a friend, then, Princess. Forever."
Did this make sense? Maybe? I'm not one to judge, but why do you ship this again?
9. BombalurinaxRum Tum Tugger (Cats) - "This Could Be Us" by Rae Sremmurd - 2 min. timer
I also don't understand this ship either, but THIS SONG KIND OF WORKS. I just have to count my blessings and keep going.
Rum Tum Tugger was a player, and, Deuteronomy help her, she wanted to be his gameboard.
He was too delicious to ignore, she knew. A single glance her way practically sent her into heat. So as the strays lay languidly about an empty milk bottle, as she watched the neck launch from his claws and point to her, Bombalurina knew what she needed to do.
She crawled to him, a glint in her almond eyes, then sat in his lap and pulled him in by the unruly tufts on his chest. No more playful kitten, desperate for attention. She could fend for herself.
She rubbed against him until she felt a low purr rumble deep in his chest, then licked a narrow stripe from his jaw to his ear, nipped at the corner of it. She felt his arms begin tightening around her, but she pulled away, cast him a slow blink and a swish of her tail before sauntering back to her place.
Two could play this game of seduction, and she had won this round.
HELP WHY WAS THIS SO AMUSING TO WRITE. Maybe I can understand this one. Also, look how much I managed to write about cat slurpage? In two minutes? I'm so impressed.
10. Belle FrenchxRumplestiltskin/Mr. Gold (Once Upon a Time) - "Centuries" by Fall Out Boy - 1 min. timer
Back to something I actually ship! Hurrah. Now whether or not I actually remember the details of this show is a whole other question, lol.
"You're mine."
"I'm yours," Belle breathed. It resembled an earlier time, back in his endless library, his ballroom. But Rumple would always be possessive, she supposed.
"You're mine forever." He edged closer, hand clutching the small of her back.
"And ever."
This was their fairytale, their legend, shimmering brightly in golden glory, and no amount of detours could ever change their destination.
His lips found hers, and she found completion, an overwhelming sense of rightness.
In the end, it was always them.
I feel like this is actually such a cool song for them, but alas, only a minute.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this and the half-baked smut scenes it provided! I love you so much and all your questionable ships and I hope you have the absolute best year ever, regardless of how weirdly old you are! Mwah.