Zenkai Hax
Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon ball.
Author's Note: Just something I wrote to get my fingers writing. Warning: Pure crack ahead, fasten your seatbelts.
Android Saga
Goku pursed his lips.
The Cell Games were in a few days. They were screwed, and had absolutely no hopes of beating Cell unless he forced his son to face Cell and hopefully trigger his latent powers to burst forth and unleash his hidden strength.
Goku scratched his head.
He turned to Vegeta.
"Hey, why don't we just almost kill each other and have Dende heal us?"
Vegeta's eyes narrowed.
"Kakarot, have you no pride? You'd cheat your way to power rather than honorably earning it with blood, sweat and tears?" He gripped his gloved hands and looked away, a smirk on his face. "I like that idea."
Goku chuckled, "thought you would."
Goku and Vegeta then had a wonderful week of almost killing each other and traumatizing poor Dende as he was forced to heal the bleeding, gory, and horrifically mangled bodies as they kept bringing each other to the brink of death.
Vegeta emerged a different man after that. Smiling more freely, and his bloodlust slightly quenched as he took out all his frustrations on Goku.
While Goku learned more about Vegeta and all the horrors he'd committed while under Freeza's rule. Finding a glimpse of regret in the older Saiyan's tone, Goku was quick to latch on to it and propose whether he'd like to set off on a journey together. To make amends for all his wrongdoing and make the Saiyans a household name. This time, as one of protectors rather then destroyers.
Clasping their hands, the Super Saiyan 3 Goku and the Super Saiyan 2 Vegeta agreed to do just that.
Meanwhile, Perfect Cell yeeted himself off Earth the second the two Saiyans flared their true power after all that training.
"Holy shit?! Screw this!" Thought Cell to himself. "I'd rather be a baseball player!"
So, after a period of three months when Cell determined he was safe enough, he returned to earth from the moon and joined Yamcha's baseball team, quickly becoming the ace and also Yamcha's drinking buddy. The two of them enjoyed a long and happy rivalry, with Yamcha at first resentful of Cell for stealing his position but then extending a hand in friendship when he realized that Cell really had no friends.
Goku and Vegeta on the other hand wondered what happened to Cell. They later shrugged and promptly forgot about it.
Buu Saga
Babidi arrived on earth.
"Galick gun!"
Babidi arrived at Otherworld's check-in station.
Due to Goku and Vegeta's space patrolling, they quickly found out about the evil wizard and followed him, to their shock, to their own home planet.
They investigated his space ship and found Dabura.
"Final Flash!"
He became No-bura.
Goku frowned at Vegeta's fire first ask questions later attitude. But then shrugged, Dabura just radiated evil anyway. So no harm done.
They found a small pink ball and opened it to find a rotund and smiling creature inside.
Majin Buu smiled, "do you have candy?"
Goku chuckled and took Buu to a candy store, while Vegeta started writing his report on how Babidi and Dabura had kidnapped a pink man-child.
Meanwhile, Gohan and Videl went on a date where she proceeded to ride his face for the heck of it. Being a bookworm, Gohan shrugged and just went with it.
In a Karaoke bar, they met Yamcha and Cell, where Cell was singing 'I'll do it my way.'
Supreme Kai tried to attack Majin Buu, but Goku quickly apprehended him and took him in for questioning. Supreme Kai declared that he was a god. Goku shrugged, saying that it didn't make him above the law. But Majin Buu decided not to press charges as long as Supreme Kai did some charity work, such as helping solve the problem of worldwide poverty and the tragedy of kids not having enough candy. Thus Supreme Kai started an intergalactic NGO and became the spearhead of universal prosperity.
Super Saga
Beerus attacked earth.
Super Saiyan 21 Goku and Hyper Saiyan Vegeta took him head on and curb-stomped him.
Beerus smirked. "That was only one percent of my power."
Beerus took Goku and Vegeta as his students.
They lived happily ever after.
Goku Zamasu
Goku Black got one-shotted by a yawning Vegeta.
Future Trunks' eyes shone in admiration as he watched his father flex his power.
TOP
Jiren got one shotted by a Goku who just lightly tapped Jiren on the back in greeting.
Universe 7 won by a landslide.
And wished back all the other universes.
Zeno giggled and proclaimed that Goku was Kakkoii.
The End.
Author's Note: Haha, well, that was a trip.
Anyway, I hope you had a good chuckle at least.
Take care and have a great day.
Cheers!