Disclaimer: The world of Code Geass and the characters are not my property, they belong to Sunrise and Clamp, I'm only creating this story for fun and don't claim them.

I'm not an English speaker and this is actually my first full English story so yeah, please be kind and patient with me. More notes at the end.

Papa you are an addict (to power) and you passed it down to me

He knew what his father wanted, that he just cared about power, control and eternity. He was so obsessed with it that he was willing to control and then destroy everything, even his own sons and daughters, even his brother. At first he was not aware of it. Lelouch really thought his father only wanted power, but once he noticed that Charles was not intending to defend Area 11 when traveling there even if a rebellion was occurring, then he knew that the real obsession his father had was a superior kind of power, the Geass.

They were so alike.

Lelouch started to understand once he saw his father pass by Area 11 to land on a nearby island, the one he had to visit in the middle of his rebellion after being informed that his sister was kidnapped. The same island where he stopped him and decided to turn him over to the man he hated the most. His best friend and his worst enemy, Kururugi Suzaku.

At that moment he didn't think about Suzaku's decision; he felt betrayed and anger was all he was able to experience. But now, if he started to go back through those memories, he noticed that Suzaku was just doing the thing he wanted him to do from a long time ago, just after they met again. Suzaku was leaving behind his passive actions and fighting with teeth and claws for power, the one that he pretended to use in order to liberate Japan. He left that good boy attitude he had before and finally made a move in order to get what he wanted, what he needed.

At the end Suzaku was doing the same thing Lelouch did, just in a different way. Trying to get with the enemy so he can take all of Japan between his hands, and use the law created by Britannia in order to liberate his people. It was all for the elevens, all for the Japanese.

They were also so alike.

Lelouch was still betrayed, but did he really have any right to claim that? He, the one who did his best to see Suzaku as a pawn and make him act as he wanted, protecting his sister while he was doing his job and taking revenge. But everything got ruined when Suzaku met Euphy, his first mistake and his first love, the one he had to kill and defame in order to keep the trust of the Black Knights and the Japanese. At the end he didn't explain anything, and obviously the "truth" was provided to Suzaku in a way that made the Geass and Lelouch look like the most evil things. And he didn't explain it, he just kept with the lies, feeding his friend's anger.

But Suzaku didn't know the Geass was, apparently, a family thing.

He made his own choice and decided to turn him over in order to get the power he was looking for. Because Suzaku didn't have any tools or help as Lelouch, he didn't have any Geass or similar powers, he just had a ruined family name and the hate of his people, the people he loved, the ones he was fighting for. And that was the reason why he was finally willing to grab that power by any means, even if he had to put more blood on his hands and "betray" his friend. But due to Euphy and his anger, Lelouch was no longer a friend at that moment, so Lelouch started to ask if he was really betrayed or just punished.

When thinking more clearly he should not have been surprised by Suzaku's actions. He, the one who stabbed his father due to anger when he was not willing to stop his acts that were killing his people, being able to stop their deaths with that, but putting them on a different hell. With that, it was no surprise that after discovering the truth behind Euphy's death he decided to stop acting like a loyal soldier and turn his ex-friend over to get some power.

Suzaku was part of what made him realize his father's lies and obsessions, what made Julius rise and fall, what fed his own anger. On that day he wished to be killed by his father —and maybe that would have made Suzaku feel guilty—, but now he was so glad that it was not like that. He promised to remember, again and again, as Lelouch, as Zero, as Julius, and as Rolo's big brother; every time he promised to find a way to get his memories back, grab all those feelings against his father and fight back.

He hated all of him, including that sick obsession.

But finding the truth was so unpleasant, and made him realize that his father was not the only devil in his life. It was so hard to swallow because he was so full of sins, he and his best friend and worst enemy, and making up all the Zero Requiem was not really easy. He felt the hurt, but he decided to continue with the same determination he had when promising to recover his memories.

His father didn't deserve any power or a place in the world, but himself… did he deserve it?

"Your sins were huge, but caused due to mine, so I must leave this world and you must lose your life, and then we will be cleansed."

And so they did. It was not easy to gain the trust of the entire world to immediately turn into an enemy, but when he started to hear how he was called and feared, how people wanted him dead but trembled when they saw his knight, how they wanted to crucify both due to their crimes —some invented by themselves—… That was what he needed and what he was aiming for. Hate.

People needed to heal their wounds and blame someone, and he was the chosen one. He, who defeated his father. He, who was just like his father.

"Your Highness, I have returned with good news" his calmed voice made Lelouch leave behind his thoughts, and just a single movement from his finger was enough to make him continue. "The rumors about your order to execute an entire valley are spreading as expected, and villagers have added some details to the story."

"Wonderful, we need to keep feeding their hate and fear" Lelouch walked towards his knight, avoiding the gray cat who was trying to get their attention. "If we continue like this then everything may end sooner than we planned."

Suzaku nodded and raised his arm with the intention of taking a bow, an intention that he intentionally interrupted by grabbing his wrist.

"I need you to come with me, there are some things I would like to discuss with C.C and you."

Suzaku didn't even try to inquire, he just followed him through the corridors and the garden. Lelouch didn't like that, he knew why Suzaku preferred to act fully as a knight with him. It was not because he still hated him or didn't consider him a friend, they were just not really ready for the Zero Requiem.

He never heard him say it, but Lelouch was sure that Suzaku thought something like "it will hurt less if I try to not treat him all the time as a friend, but as a simple Emperor". C.C didn't agree with that thought, and Suzaku never had an opinion to share so he could know if he was right or wrong. They were all in this, but neither of them really wanted it. At the same time, the three knew they had to keep going, because it had to be done and could be done only by them.

To atone all of his sins he had to die, there was no other option.

"Once it happens" Suzaku spoke after a couple of minutes of silence, "how do you expect things to be repaired? Do you really think-" he tried to continue the question, but preferred to bite his lower lip while frowning. "Do you plan to leave some instructions to C.C or something?"

Lelouch giggled, he stopped his steps in the middle of the South garden and faced Suzaku.

"C.C can do whatever she wants" he replied with a calmed voice and a gentle smile on his face, "she was not a direct part of what I did, and she already paid for her own sins a long time ago."

Suzaku blinked in clear confusion. "So you plan to keep the Geass in the world?" Even if the question sounded recriminatory, his low tone showed his concerns. He didn't want to let anyone experience what they lived with Euphy, Shirley and Nunnally.

"Well, neither me nor C.C really know how many Geass or Code users are out there, so we will just need to hope for the best."

The wind blew coldly in his cheeks, forcing Lelouch to raise his head to face the sky, which was as clear and bright as it had never been. Every day was a great day to keep working towards his goal, and he acted as if all of those days were his last ones.

"I just hope that you will no longer have to cross your path with any Geass user" Lelouch added with his eyes still in the sky, "It should have burned with my parents back then"

And Lelouch really meant it. He was still ignorant about the Geass or Code, and every time he thought he had learned the truth a new revelation pushed him back to reality. He was so naive, but he really wanted the Geass to leave Japan alone.

It was what made his father ruin everything, and also what made him ruin some other things. He was always destined to be a sinner, but the Geass made him commit more sins, each one worse than the previous. Just like his father.

He was aware of all his failures and all the committed mistakes, and recognized that some things just got out of his hands without him even noticing. He wanted to save but ended up destroying, just like his friend and just like his father. It definitely was not what he was aiming for when he started to think about a better world for Nunnally, but it was what it was, and what he made. There was no turning back.

He always knew what his father wanted, power and control over the world and the Geass itself, he wanted to control and destroy the people in this world. And at the end he ended up taking his father's role, he started to destroy so people would have a single person to hate before being liberated, and a single person to thank and love. Zero. Not them —Suzaku or Lelouch—, but Zero, a facade created to make people free from Britannia's tyranny while not knowing all the damage caused by the Geass. A Devil was needed, and he was totally willing to be that if that meant creating the world he once promised, just as when he promised to get his memories or get revenge.

At the end he was like his own damn father, and that was (not) okay.

My biggest fear is coming true, father I've become you

Okay, this was supposed to be a song fic but I'm not good with those, so it ended up as this… weird thing. I just wanted to write about Lelouch feeling about his father, his mistakes (and obviously, the defects he shares with his best friend) because why not? Almost 15 years and the Zero Requiem keeps making me cry lol.

This fic is based on Falling in Reverse song "I Don't Mind" (one of my favorites from them), every time I hear this song I keep thinking about Lelouch and Charles, and originally I was thinking about an animatic but hey, I'm not good at drawing so I never did it. But finally after years I was taking a shower and thought about this fic and how I could just write a little about it. It doesn't contain all the lyrics, but yeah, the message is there so I hope you can hear the song and like the story.

Too short and weird, but be patient, this is not just a fic made in a different language but also my first fic after what? 5 years without writing? Yeah, it has been a lot.

That's it, I accept any grammatical corrections and that you for reading. Have a great day!