a pool of light
by Rose Thorne
Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with The Untamed, and make no money writing fanfiction.
Chapter One
Like far too many important things, they once again learn this one through the news.
They were having such a wonderful day, with A-Yuan visiting his bobo—Lan Xichen had relocated to be nearer to Nie Mingjue, his offer to help having been gratefully accepted, and he was in a position of independence that suited him—so they could enjoy their anniversary alone.
Had they ever, not leaving the bed for most of the day. Even in the shower after several rounds, A-Zhan had pressed him against the tile, lifting him to allow Wei Ying to hook his ankles behind him, to allow access, water pooling between their bodies and adding another rhythm to the cacophony of their fucking.
They had reservations at a fancy restaurant, a celebration in part of not having to dodge journalists anymore, now that the trial was over, having allowed them to return to their normal life.
But Wei Ying turned on the TV as background noise while they got ready, to a local station that carried an early broadcast of the news.
And so here they are. Wei Ying, frozen on one leg in the middle of pulling on a sock, as Jiang Cheng's face fills the screen.
The headline at the bottom of the screen reads Compu-Jiang Sues Gusu Lan Tech and Jin Enterprises.
"—didn't do a proper investigation, and of course the Jin were fine with my brother being framed for their criminal activities."
A-Zhan catches him when he loses his balance, leading him to the couch. Sitting pressed close, their hands clasped together, they listen to Jiang Cheng's brief statement to the press. Wei Ying fixates on his brother's smart suit—a blue so dark it was almost black, with a heather blue French cut shirt (which meant he broke out the cuff links for this, so he's taking it seriously), and a deep purple tie. Modern businessman chic, but he could probably drop the tie and open the top buttons to more effect.
It takes real effort to force himself to listen as Jiang Cheng discusses his civil suit "on behalf of my brother, Wei Ying," taking no questions afterward, simply walking away.
The urge to laugh and cry leaves him numb. Laughing he can understand and maybe even explain in words that make sense—his emotionally-constipated brother has chosen this as a way of very publicly apologizing. Or, well, not-apologizing, really.
But the desire to cry isn't wrapped up in happiness. It isn't that at all.
The trial had stretched months. Meaning for months their lives were disrupted, journalists and hacks following them, slander from the Jins that led to tabloid stories that got uglier and uglier, and which Wen Qing handled quietly.
Her version of quiet was to sic an uncle on them, the uncle being a lawyer. Public retractions and large sums of money resulted, but it didn't make the shitstorm any less traumatizing to weather.
And here it's going to happen all over again, though that was a certainty anyway with the appeals process being what it is.
"A-Ying?"
Wei Ying reins his mind in, focusing enough to realize A-Zhan is looking at him with concern, and that he's tense in a way that implies he's angry about this, and not tempered by any feeling of brotherhood with Jiang Cheng.
Then Jiang Cheng returns to the podium.
"And you vultures better not harass my brother and his family. They've been through enough!" he says before stalking away again.
That was too much, Wei Ying knows, as the world and its noise grows distant, recognizing he has slipped into a dissociative episode. Usually he isn't aware, like a computer on standby mode, but this one is like being underwater. Hazy and safe. He likes it, and he doesn't fight it.
He can tell Lan Zhan is speaking to him, but not what is being said—he can't focus enough to make it out, his mind diffused, scattered. Distantly he can feel hot tears on his cheeks. Movement, then a weight settles around him, grounding, keeping him from floating away. Then a tiny warm bundle in his lap, fingers in fur—
And he's back so abruptly his sinuses throb with a threatened headache. He's on the sofa, wrapped in his weighted blanket, soft socks on his feet, and Turmeric burrowing into hand to demand pets.
A-Zhan is on the phone, and when he sees Wei Ying looking at him he mouths "Wen Qing" and a wave that tells him he's handling it.
So Wei Ying leans back into the embrace of the sofa, the blanket, and focuses on petting Turmeric.
His thoughts seem to fly around him, hitting at random, and he lets them. Wen Qing likely already saw the news, since the aunties tuned in to it and one of them would have called immediately.
Jiang Cheng is sorry.
Wei Ying wonders how long he's been sorry, how long he was unable to reach out because it would mean communicating in a healthy manner. And asking what Wei Ying wanted. And he knew enough not to expect either from his once-brother.
A-Li didn't warn him. Which meant either she didn't know, or is on board with this lawsuit. He's not sure what to think about the latter option. He wants to call her and he doesn't want to at the same time.
The Jins were all found guilty and doing lengthy prison sentences pending appeals. Even Jin Zixun had been found guilty of fraud and insider trading. A suit against them would be hopefully quick and easy, likely settled within a month.
It's the inclusion of Gusu Lan Tech that troubles Wei Ying. First, for A-Zhan, who not too long ago dealt with his uncle and then fallout over Xichen leaving the Lan family home and moving to help Nie Mingjue and Nie Innovations.
Lan Qiren was furious and blamed Wei Ying. His attempt to trespass again ended with the police escorting him away and a restraining order. They had to go to court for the order, and it was a struggle to face the man who had ruined his career and verbally abused him at every turn. A-Zhan has been forthright about his disappointment that there is little chance of reconciliation.
But a suit against Gusu Lan Tech doesn't have the criminal case to back it. A forensic hacker testified that an investigation would have easily revealed the culprit to be Su She, but it isn't a guilty verdict, just testimony.
And Lan Qiren would dig his heels in just to make life difficult.
And poor A-Zhan doesn't need to deal with that, after everything else Wei Ying has put him through; even if it wasn't his fault he still feels guilty for letting him suffer with him, sometimes wonders if A-Zhan's life would be better without him.
He's spiraling, trapped in a dissociative state, and down this drain is trauma he can't handle unpacking now or maybe ever. The tears are falling again, leaving hot trails down his cheeks, making his eyes ache.
The couch dips beside him, and a set of chopsticks appears under his nose, the smell of spice and potatoes, and suddenly he's back in his body, wrapped in his weighted blanket, Turmeric successfully having burrowed into his shirt, and shredded potato salad with Sichuan peppercorns and shredded hot peppers is on the chopsticks, so he does the logical thing and opens his mouth.
A-Zhan feeds him gently, then picks up more from the bowl he's holding to continue to feed him, and Wei Ying should stop him and take the bowl and eat himself but the energy required is too much, so he lets him, opening his mouth and enjoying the burning spice.
"Third Auntie brought it. I canceled our reservations, and the Wens are cooking for us tonight," A-Zhan tells him. "They've promised a feast."
Wei Ying was beyond much more than nodding that he understood, and simply existed like a baby bird, opening his mouth to be fed.
"Xiongzhang is keeping A-Yuan as planned for the night. He said Huaisang is going to look into Jiang Cheng and the civil suit. So is Wen Qing. Song Lan called and said they'd keep their ears out in the freelance industry, as well."
A-Zhan is thinking about rumors on how his family's company might conduct themselves, which strikes Wei Ying as colossally unfair.
"'M sorry," Wei Ying murmured around a bite, letting the peppercorns numb his mouth. "Didn't know he'd…"
"No apologies. I know you didn't. We will weather this… and you may come out of it wealthy."
The unexpected quip startles a laugh from Wei Ying, and he has to be careful not to accidentally aspirate a Sichuan peppercorn—somehow he doesn't think that would be an enjoyable experience.
"I guess it'd be kind of nice to add to the nest egg," he says once he's calmed.
They've been careful over the years and A-Zhan's inheritance makes him independently wealthy, for all that they live frugally; it would be nice to contribute to that.
"Jin Zixuan is now the head of Jin Enterprises, so I expect he will settle quickly for a large sum to please your sister," A-Zhan comments.
That fact slipped his mind somehow, despite the viewing party Dafan Applications had for the sentencing—most of the main family aside from Madam Jin and Jin Zixuan are serving lengthy prison sentences now, and it's widely expected Jin Guangshan will die incarcerated. He does his best to ignore Wen Qing's betting pool, though privately, given the sallow complexion of the former CEO in recent newscasts, Wei Ying doubts it will take long.
He'd feel bad for Jin Zixuan but he knows his sort-of brother in law has never had a close relationship with his father and likely is relieved to not see him publicly embarrass the family anymore.
But that's just the Jin. There's also the Lan to consider.
"But your uncle…"
"Will do what's best for the company even if it hurts him personally," A-Zhan says, sounding just a little satisfied. "If he digs his heels in, the press will converge and it will embarrass Gusu Lan Tech even more."
Wei Ying knows A-Zhan chose this, chose him, but he hates the idea that he's broken another family.
He finds himself suddenly in A-Zhan's warm embrace, better than any weighted blanket.
"You didn't break any families, A-Ying. Never. You were not responsible for Yu Ziyuan's grudges and insecurities, nor for Jiang Fengmian's passivity and apathy. Nor are you responsible for Shufu's behavior."
Oops, so he said that out loud? His brain-mouth filter isn't the best usually, but following his spiral he apparently has even less of one.
"A-Ying is my family," A-Zhan says, his voice insistent.
Wei Ying curls closer, craving the contact, and A-Zhan holds him tightly enough that the pressure grounds him finally.
He isn't sure how much time passes as he lets their breathing sync and settles into a comforting place between asleep and awake, interrupted by a gentle knock on the door, followed by a key unlocking it.
Wen Qing lets herself in, not unusual following the resurgence of everything, followed by Wen Ning, Uncle Four, and Granny, each of them carrying stacks of Tupperware filled with food.
Even through the plastic, the smell is amazing, and Wei Ying's stomach growls loudly to remind him it's time to eat.
The Wens immediately start setting up the kitchen table, transferring each dish to a plate, the aroma mouth-watering. Wrapped in Lan Zhan as he is, he can't see what the dishes are, but he can smell enough to guess they're his and A-Zhan's favorites.
Which means he dissociated for quite a while, for this to be put together. From the twilight shining through the window, at least an hour. Of course they missed their dinner reservations.
Wei Ying knows better than to hold onto guilt for something he can't help, after this many years. He takes a deep breath, lightly massaging the back of his hand between the ring and pinky, a technique for calming his therapist taught him ages ago, one that's been handier than he likes to admit.
He focuses on A-Zhan's warmth, the song of his pulse, and lets that guide the cadence of pressure on his hand, syncs his breathing again, mentally reminds himself that his dissociative states are not something he can control nor something he should be ashamed or guilty over.
"Wei Ying?"
Wen Qing's voice is closer than he expects, and he opens his eyes, startled from his near-meditative state. He forgets, sometimes, that before she got a degree in business administration to help her brother with Dafan Applications, she was at the top of her class graduating from medical school.
"Would you like us to stay and eat with you, or would you and Wei Zhan prefer to be alone?"
He has to think about that for a moment, weighing the possibility of being overwhelmed by company versus the potential to spiral without—and he's sure she has something to say about the news, anyway, and the sooner there's a plan, the less likely he is to spiral.
"Stay," he says, then clears his throat when his voice comes out hoarse. "We need to talk."
Wen Qing lips twitch in a half-smile, agreement from her, and then she reaches forward and takes Turmeric from his lap.
"I'll put him in his hutch, then," she says, tucking the bunny in the crook of her arm as she straightens.
A-Zhan doesn't let him try to get up, instead lifting him, weighted blanket and all, into his arms in a princess carry, taking him to the table. Wei Ying doesn't even bother fighting him; they've talked about his spirals and A-Zhan's need to help him in any possible way, and he's learned to let him.
Spread across the table and lazy Susan are all of his favorite dishes, he can see, and it makes him teary all over again. The Wens have come together and done this in the short time since the broadcast, and he loves them all the more for it.
When A-Zhan puts him down on a chair, Granny immediately takes the one beside him and starts piling his bowl high with the best bits of everything, fussing over him in a way that grandmothers do when something upsetting has occurred.
After straightening the weighted blanket on his shoulders, A-Zhan moves the chair on his opposite side a little closer, and sits so their shoulders touch, a gesture Wei Ying appreciates.
All of it makes him feel safe and grounded and loved, and energized enough to pick up his chopsticks and start enjoying the meal.
There's even ground shrimp dumplings Second Uncle only makes for special occasions—and usually only for hotpot—but he must have decided it was needed today and made a broth to go with it. Wei Ying's portion is awash in a spicy sauce, just like he likes it, and it makes him so unbearably fond of these people who treat him like family, more than Uncle Jiang and Madam Yu ever did.
Fourth Uncle is filling A-Zhan's bowl with his favorites, much milder and with less meat and more savory foods, though not heavy on sauces. He can see at least five varieties of mushrooms in the mix, and he can bet the bao on A-Zhan's plate have more mixed in the filling.
The Wens know their plans were ruined, and so have come together to make an anniversary meal they can both enjoy. The care they've taken in remembering their favorites and making them special brings tears to Wei Ying's eyes.
He knows better than to thank family, who show their love without expectations of thanks, for whom thanks would be distancing. So instead he shows his gratitude by eating everything Granny puts in his bowl and more, sipping the tea Wen Ning keeps refreshing for him. He lets A-Zhan feed him morsels of mushrooms and picks out milder bits from his own bowl to return the gesture.
Dinner is a time for family and food, and while Wei Ying often chatters through it, tonight he is content to listen to the people he's closest to enjoy this meal with them.
Later, he knows, after dinner, they will discuss how to handle the lawsuit filed on his behalf.
For now, he basks in the warmth of good food and loving family.
The title is a different translation of the Li Bai poem "Quiet Night Thoughts," which has been used to title all the other fics in this series.