Ah, se o mundo inteiro me pudesse ouvir
Tenho muito pra contar, dizer que aprendi
E na vida a gente tem que entender
Que um nasce pra sofrer enquanto o outro ri
Mas quem sofre sempre tem que procurar
Pelo menos vir achar razão para viver
Ver na vida algum motivo pra sonhar
Ter um sonho todo azul, azul da cor do mar
- Azul da Cor do Mar, Tim Maia
"Over here!"
It's another day, another mission at the junkyard. Ever since they invaded and deactivated the camp, which unfortunately still exterminated many androids, New Jericho has been sorting out operations to look for survivors. For the past month, they've found hundreds of androids, most of them disabled, varying from mostly functional to nearly dead.
Markus, admittedly, postponed his participation in quite a while. He's already very busy with other tasks, such as debates with human representatives and visits at CyberLife units, but this time New Jericho needed his help because the androids in the junkyard have been too terrified to leave. After everything they've gone through, it's reasonable as to why they wouldn't want to get away from that place.
As the leader, androids wholeheartedly have faith in him. They're soothed by his words, by his firm presence. Markus is able to convince them to come to New Jericho, to receive the help they need and deserve. He's the only one who's able to give his kind a safe space to live.
Markus keeps a brave face while he talks to these androids. Most of them have lost something. Many have lost a lot. Unfortunately, there have been some who were barely holding on, who were doomed by a short-lived time, Markus only able to tell them androids are finally getting the rights they deserve.
Markus knows there is still life in the junkyard, which is why they're here at all. But he can't stop seeing death, either. Everywhere he goes, the mountains of limp android bodies on top of the other remind him they'll never see the light of day again. They'll never be free.
He is pondering after another android dies in his arms. They could only talk for a couple minutes about what brought them to this place. They had been abused by their owner for years, until it'd finally been the last straw. They were only a gardener who liked to smell flowers and even talk to the plants. Their owner had disliked that and had made it painfully clear every time.
The RK200 is only out of the trance when North puts a hand on his shoulder and whispers to him to leave that android behind. Markus only does what he's told and carefully lies them down, despite not much being left from them. After that, they walk away.
Josh, Simon, and Connor are waiting for them up ahead. It's already getting late, and the clouds have taken over the sky. It might rain at any moment. They haven't found many survivors today, sadly, so there's no one else with them. Markus only carries the blood of the gardener android in his hands and clothes.
"… you don't have to keep doing this, if you don't want to," North reassures him.
Markus is albeit shocked at her words.
"No, that's not—" he automatically dries his eyes, even though he's not crying. "I want to help."
North looks worried. Sympathetic.
"Markus, you've done a lot for us. You are allowed the rest you need."
"It's okay, North. Really."
She's not convinced, he can tell. It doesn't help that his stress levels are high.
North doesn't touch on it again when they reach the rest of the group. They all go home.
But Markus feels like he hasn't left at all.
It's raining.
The rain makes him feel… something. He's not sure what.
It's a good thing that androids don't get cold. Otherwise, he'd get sick for standing out here for too long.
The night has already arrived. The lights of New Jericho illuminate the dark sky. Everyone is inside, resting, healing, staying together. He should be with them, planning their next moves. Helping the people in need.
Yet Markus hasn't forgotten that android. He's never forgotten any of the lives that he saw fade away right before his eyes.
He hasn't changed out of his clothes. Even with the rain, he can tell the blue blood hasn't gone off. And even when it's not there, he knows he'll still bear the blood of his people.
He feels their pain. He feels their death. Their despair, their loneliness.
After all, his blue eye, his heart, and his legs are there to remind him.
And so does the rain.
It's heavier now.
…
Not anymore.
Markus is startled by the sudden dryness of the black umbrella that protects him from the above.
"We were looking for you."
He doesn't have to look beside him to know that Connor is carefully analyzing him.
Waterdrops roll down Markus' face. He's… not sure whether it's from the rain or not. Despite this, he's rather stoic.
"… I was there."
Connor doesn't inquire, not with words, but he does take a step closer. Markus doesn't dare look at him. He only stares at… nothing. The nothingness left behind by innocent lives.
"The junkyard… I lived there. It was raining just like this. Like the world was ending." He stands out a hand to feel the fierceness of the rain. "My world did end."
Markus' voice isn't fragile, not in the slightest.
"Everything was… static. I couldn't hear or see well. Only the rain. Only… death," he recalls. "I had to take things that weren't mine. I had to crawl back up, with death right by my side." Markus pauses. "I lived hell. And hell… still lives in me."
It's painful remembering what he felt during that moment. How terrified he was.
It turns out he's still scared.
Guilty.
Hopeless.
His right eye is leaking the most.
He almost wants to take it off. It's burning.
Connor hasn't said a thing. His silence speaks more than words.
Markus has never shared this with anyone, besides Lucy. He thought he had to spare others from this. Maybe spare himself from all the suffering. But he can't keep avoiding it any longer.
He stares at his hands, like they're filthy. Like he's killed all those androids himself.
Thankfully, Connor's hand stops those thoughts. It takes Markus' like they're fragile.
"… let's get back inside," the other android whispers. "We can get you some dry clothes, and a nice fire."
Markus almost refuses. Almost says, I don't deserve it.
That's when Connor's hand reaches the back of Markus' neck and places their foreheads together. He finally looks at Connor's face up closely, part of his skin gray.
He's reading all his thoughts.
And he tells him,
You deserve it.
You deserve better.
Markus starts believing him. A little.
Finally, Connor guides him back inside the building, where North, Josh, and Simon are waiting. It seems like they've known the two were outside all this time. And they're already carrying a pile of dry clothes. Markus would have tried to argue he doesn't need them, but it's not like he would've won anyway.
That's how you find him, wearing Simon's old hoodie, Josh's scarf, and Connor's black beanie by the fire North lit up for him. The five of them are all huddled together like they're in a sleepover, protecting themselves from the cold they don't need. North is teasing Josh about something, and Simon only stays neutral.
In the meantime, Connor is glued right next to Markus… holding his hand. Bearing some of the blood for him.
It's still raining outside.
But right now, it's… nice.
He's not alone anymore.
And he will never be again.