In the privacy of her office, Olivia held Amanda close as she sobbed out her guilt over the devastating news of Esther Labott's death. Amanda sobbed on Olivia's shoulder for several long minutes before she finally began to calm down.
"I want you to take the rest of the day off, sweetheart. Go home, soak in the tub, change into something comfortable, and relax. Maybe try to take a nap." Olivia spoke kindly, but her tone left no room for argument.
"Are you going to punish me for losing my cool in there?" Amanda choked out.
"We are going to talk about you throwing that chair, but I'm not going to punish you for it this time. When I get home, though, if you need my help, I'll give you some stress relief. Go on, now, do as you're told." Olivia gently patted Amanda's bottom.
"Yes, Ma'am."
Amanda turned and walked out of Olivia's office, gathered her things, and left the precinct trying to dry the tears from her eyes. When she arrived home, she soaked in the tub for a little over half an hour before getting out of the tub and changing into her pajama pants and tank, having no intention of going anywhere else for the rest of the day. She didn't want to take a nap, so she flopped down on the couch and picked up her phone to scroll through social media for a while. She turned on the TV for background noise and turned over on the couch so that she was lying comfortably on her belly. After a while, she set her phone aside and watched TV. She didn't even realize it as she began to drift off to sleep.
Olivia let herself into the apartment and smiled when she found Amanda asleep on the couch. She decided to let Amanda sleep a little longer as she quietly turned the TV off and went to the bedroom to put her things away and change her clothes. Olivia knelt down beside Amanda, giving her several tender kisses to her temple and gently rubbing her pajama-clad bottom. Amanda's deep blue eyes tiredly fluttered open and focused on Olivia.
"Feels good." Amanda mumbled, feeling Olivia's gentle hand rubbing her bottom. She offered a sleepy smile.
"Come with me to the bedroom and I'll hold you while you wake up a little more." Olivia smiled.
Amanda obediently dragged herself off the couch and followed Olivia to the bedroom where the brunette detective sat on the bed with her back against the headboard and opened her arms. Amanda willingly snuggled into Olivia's arms, laying her head on Olivia's shoulder, and let out a happy sigh as Olivia resumed rubbing her bottom. You could hear a pin drop as the two women sat in the peaceful silence for a long while.
"Livy?"
"Hmm?"
"I think I need you to help me." Amanda blushed lightly.
"I can do that for you, baby. Pajamas off and over my lap with you."
Amanda obediently stood up and stripped out of her pajamas before crawling back up on the bed and draping her naked body across Olivia's lap, settling in comfortably and lying her head down on the bed.
"Who does this beautiful bottom belong to, little one?" Olivia resumed her gentle rubbing, encouraging Amanda to relax her bottom muscles.
"It's yours to do with as you please, Ma'am."
"That's my good girl. Today was a rough day, wasn't it?"
"I didn't mean to kill her." Amanda whimpered, tears filling her eyes.
"I know you didn't mean to, angel. It wasn't your fault, it was just one of those unfortunate situations that comes with the job. We had no choice but to draw our weapons. How do you feel about what happened today?" Olivia picked up a bottle of lavender-scented lotion, drizzled some on her hands, and began to gently massage it onto Amanda's back, making sure to take her time and cover every square inch.
"Guilty. Worried. Anxious. What if IAB takes my shield?"
"They won't. I'd bet my next paycheck you'll be back on the job in five days, tops. I would say three days, but we all know how IAB loves to drag out an investigation." Olivia grinned.
Amanda giggled through the fresh tears that had gathered in her eyes. It was true, IAB was notorious for stretching what could be a thirty minute conversation into a week's worth of paperwork. Olivia drizzled more lotion onto her hands and gently massaged it onto Amanda's bottom, sit-spots, and thighs down to her knees. The comforting scent filled the room and caused Amanda's body to relax even further into Olivia's lap.
"Are you going to take my gun?" Amanda asked.
"I have to while the situation is being investigated, you know the rules. But I'll give it back to you as soon as you're cleared. In the meantime, I have a mountain of paperwork you can help me with and we'll let the boys do the heavy lifting for a few days." Olivia explained.
"Yes, Ma'am." Amanda sighed sadly.
"Tell me what you're thinking, sweetheart." Olivia said, even though she already had a pretty good idea what was going on in Amanda's head right now.
"I'm sorry I can't pull my weight." Amanda frowned. She felt like a useless burden.
"That's not true, baby. You're an excellent detective. Can you believe me when I say that?"
"I'm trying, but right now…"
"Well, maybe we better spank it in, because I really want to drive that message home." Olivia gently patted Amanda's bottom, having finished massaging in the lotion.
"Yes, Ma'am."
Olivia raised up her strong right hand and brought it down sharply, varying the speed and intensity of the spanking in an unpredictable pattern to try to shock Amanda's system into letting go of whatever stress it was holding on to. Amanda closed her eyes and drank in the loving spanking her wife was giving her, letting out an occasional squeak whenever a particularly hard spank landed on the back of a tender thigh. As she lay there across Olivia's lap, Amanda thought about Esther Labott, wishing with all her might that the situation had turned out differently. She had seen so much of herself in Esther and that bothered her more than she was ready to admit. When Olivia was satisfied with the bright pink color of Amanda's bottom, she reached over to pick up the hairbrush from the bedside table.
"Okay, angel, time to kick it up a notch." Olivia tapped the hairbrush on Amanda's bottom.
"Please spank me, Ma'am." Amanda requested. Olivia raised up the hairbrush and brought it down sharply, again varying in speed and intensity.
Finally, after several minutes, Amanda burst into tears.
"That's my good girl. Just cry it out all you want, lovey." Olivia encouraged.
Olivia spanked until Amanda went limp across her lap, completely letting go of her stress and sobbing like a young child. Esther Labott's death would haunt her for a while, but this time spent over her beloved wife's lap being lovingly spanked was Amanda's first step to healing. Olivia finally threw down the hairbrush and very gently rubbed Amanda's fire engine red bottom to provide some small relief from the pain. She let Amanda rest across her lap for as long as Amanda wanted to lie there. She listened to Amanda sob and tried to gauge where Amanda was at mentally and emotionally, debating whether to follow through with the last part of the session that she had planned, or whether it would be more beneficial to just pick Amanda up and cuddle her, bringing the session to a proper end. Amanda sobbed heavily across Olivia's lap for quite a while, saying a proper goodbye to Esther Labott, before she finally began to calm down. She stayed lying over Olivia's lap until her heavy sobbing died down to whimpers.
"Get up when you want to, baby girl."
Amanda pushed herself up from Olivia's lap a few minutes later. Since this was not a punishment, she reached back to rub her bottom as Olivia led her out of the bedroom and to the kitchen.
"Sit down, honey." Olivia instructed, pulling out a chair for her.
Amanda obediently sat down on her thoroughly spanked bottom, whimpering when her bottom made contact with the hard wood. Olivia retrieved several sheets of paper and a pen and placed them on the table in front of Amanda.
"Okay, sweetie, now I want you to write 'I am not a burden and I am not useless'. You're going to fill all of these papers front and back, no skipping lines. And writing one line at a time, not writing down and over." Olivia explained.
"Yes, Ma'am." Amanda sniffled.
"That's my good girl. When you're done, we'll have dinner and I'm thinking we'll call it an early night since we've had an emotional day."
Amanda soon lost count of how many lines she had written, but she had been told to fill all of the papers Olivia had given her, so she continued to write, pausing every so often to flex her hand. While Amanda was writing, Olivia moved about the kitchen making dinner, wanting to stay close and within Amanda's sight. Olivia was putting the finishing touches on dinner when she heard Amanda call her name softly.
"Livy." Amanda put her pen down and placed her hands on top of her head to wait.
Upon hearing Amanda say her name, Olivia immediately turned and walked over to where Amanda sat. She glanced over Amanda's lines and smiled, tenderly kissing Amanda's forehead.
"That's my good girl. Excellent work, my angel. Come here." Olivia opened her arms.
Amanda jumped up from her chair and snuggled into Olivia's arms, laying her head on Olivia's shoulder. They spent a few minutes just standing there in the kitchen with Amanda snuggled in Olivia's arms while Olivia showered her with gentle praise. Olivia led Amanda back to the bedroom and Amanda dressed in her pajamas again. Then they went back to the kitchen where Olivia sat at the table with Amanda kneeling at her feet and fed Amanda by hand as usual. After they had eaten, Amanda cleaned up the kitchen while Olivia went to shower. When the kitchen was clean, Amanda went to the bedroom where Olivia was coming out of the bathroom freshly showered and dressed for bed in her own boxer shorts and t-shirt. Olivia sat on the bed and Amanda dropped to her knees at Olivia's feet. She reached over to retrieve a bottle of lotion and smoothed it onto Olivia's legs.
"Thank you, baby. Good girl." Olivia praised, and Amanda smiled.
Olivia turned down the sheets on the bed and got in bed. Amanda crawled into bed beside her and snuggled into Olivia's arms.
"Cold feet! Cold feet!" Olivia yelped. Amanda giggled and obediently moved her cold feet away from Olivia's warm body, only to move them back a few seconds later, her deep blue eyes sparkling with mischief.
"Cold feet! Cold feet!" Olivia yelped again, and playfully popped Amanda's pajama-clad bottom a few times.
"I love you." Amanda smiled and snuggled down comfortably to go to sleep.
"I love you too, brat." Olivia teased, gently kissing Amanda goodnight and turning off the light.