Authors note/ I listened to Mr. Loverman by Ricky Montgomery and Atlantis by seafret while i wrote. I like to write one shots in between my longer works in progress. I was thinking about the deleted scene from deathly hollows where Draco throws Harry a wand. Then this kind of spiraled out of my head. Enjoy darlings!
It had not been his parents. It had not been the death eaters. It had not even been the students and teachers gathered in Hogwart's courtyard. No what had made Draco Malfoy decide to do, what was arguably, the dumbest thing he would ever do had been Hermione Granger.
Draco Malfoy would die at Hogwarts, he had accepted that. Living in the actual moment leading up to it though was harder than he ever considered it might be. The thought that any moment, any second could be his last made Draco more afraid than he could remember being in his entire life.
Hermione had merely been the catalyst for his decision to finally do the right thing, for once in his life. He had spent far to much of his life denying his better nature. Denying his feelings for a girl who had never been anything but kind to him.
The battle of Hogwarts had been underway for sometime when Draco arrived. The castle was in pieces. Broken chunks of cement, and stone littered almost every area Draco had covered. He also noted blood, alot of blood, on everything. People were dead. He tried to avoid looking at the bodies when he stumbled upon them. Draco recognized many of the faces.
Everyone gathered in the courtyard had thought Harry Potter dead, even Draco had momentarily believed it. Then suddenly when all hope was gone it came crashing back all at once. Blood rushed in Draco's ears. His mind was working double time to operate, as Potter seemingly jumped back to life. Potter skittered around people as Voldemort pursued him with renewed menace. Shock colored the faces around Draco.
There it was, his chance to ensure The downfall of the world's darkest wizard.
With shaking legs Draco darted across the courtyard following them. He had to make it to the very much alive Potter, and fast. He had to get him a wand, before it was to late. Draco had Voldemort in his sights, he was throwing curse after curse at Potter. Aiming not only to kill but to obliterate. One spell nearly got Potter when he tripped over some rubble running backwards.
People began to run and, scramble to get to safety as the shock wore off of them. The Weasley's were prominently battling, and dueling in pairs. Most of the death eaters had fled when Potter shot back up, but not all of them.
Draco could see his parents in the distance, he knew they thought he was running to them. To their side. His mother's arms were open, waiting for him. When he finally got close enough Draco watched his father's face contort horrifically when he realized what exactly Draco had in mind. Draco wasn't trying to flee with his family, he was betraying them. He loved them, he really did, but his parents had been so wrong. Wrong about their pureblood beliefs. About Voldemort. It was no longer about survival for Draco. It was about doing what was right.
A great, wise man had once told Draco, "It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities." At the time Draco had been young, and naive he had not understood what it meant. Now Draco understood it all to well.
Draco was choosing to be brave by following after Potter. Choosing to die for his beliefs. It was the harder choice, and that's how he knew it was right. Before Hermione Draco would have taken the easy choice, the cowardly choice, he would have left with his parents. Now though Draco could take a stand for Hermione, and every muggleborn that would come to Hogwart's after her.
"Potter!" Draco screamed and threw the spare wand up and over Voldemort's reach. It clattered onto the stone ground. Potter scooped it up quickly, he looked up confused by Draco's action. Hermione had not shared anything about Draco to her best friends then. Potter was clueless as to why Draco had helped him.
Cold snake like eyes turned on Draco. Draco was frozen, to scared to move. Hermione had been right, it turned out there had been a little Gryffindor in him all this time. This was after all the stupidest, and yet also the most brave thing he had ever done. Then Draco heard a menacing hiss, saw a bright light, and then Draco was floating far, far away. He never even felt the curse hit him. He forced himself to think of mints, books, and Hermione Granger as everything grew darker. He concentrated hard on her, and only her. He let everything he could remember come back to him, as he died.
Hermione Granger had been a thorn in Draco's side for years. She was a know it all of the worst kind. Desperate to prove herself in a world she had only just discovered existed. She always seemed to top Draco on everything, no matter how hard Draco tried. Potions, charms, in each of their classes Hermione was always the student with the highest marks. By Draco's own estimation her only 2 weak links at Hogwarts had been Divination, and Quidditch. Draco had spent a good amount of his time thinking about Hermione Granger and her many accolades.
Draco had never given much care for the art of Divination. Like his father he believed it was rubbish. So the snobbish part of him did not find fault in Hermione's inability to master the subject, more so it made him regard her even higher.
He did not hold Quidditch in that same regard, however. Quidditch could be taught, Draco rationalized, and he did not begrudge her this fault. Maybe Draco could teach Hermione about Quidditch properly. He theorized that learning the sport, from someone other than the witless duo she paraded the castle grounds with would make a difference. Who knows what kind of idiocy they were teaching her, he would to himself. They had probably filled her head with that rubbish Chuddley cannons team. No wonder she hated the sport.
Then Draco realized slowly, horrendously, and all at once. Why exactly did he care if Hermione Granger liked Quidditch? Quidditch was important to Draco, so what did it matter what she thought of it?
The answer was simple and yet, like the spoiled child he was, he refused to accept it until Slughorn had made it impossible for him to deny any longer. 6th years had brewed Amortentia for Slughorn, and that was the beginning of the end for Draco. Draco had tried to get leave class that day, because he had a good idea of what he might smell in his cauldron.
Slughorn had not allowed him to leave. When Draco finally allowed himself a whiff over his finished brew, the smell nearly knocked him over. Draco had been right. Mint, chocolate, ink, and old parchment. He could count on one hand how many times he had been close enough to Hermione to smell her. All the same he would have known the scent anywhere.
Draco watched her from across the room, with his hands neatly folded on his desktop. He finally let it seep into him. Draco was in love with Hermione Granger. He had been for a long while. How, he wondered? Draco had barely spoken or interacted with the girl during their time at school, unless you counted the times he had ridiculed her. He watched the way she laughed with her 2 best friends, who Draco disliked greatly. Or did he really dislike them? In all fairness he had thought he hated Hermione. Draco was confused, he was becoming unsure of who he even was.
Draco could hear their hushed conversation from his desk. He was close enough that he could smell a fresh wave of Hermione when she flipped her hair. She was sitting between the two. Potter, and Weasley. Potter had one arm slung behind Hermione's chair, the other slid across his book absentmindedly. Weasley looked like he might drift off to asleep at any moment, his palm was rested against his cheek as his eyes blinked heavily.
Draco wasn't sure if he was more jealous of Potter, and Weasley sitting with Hermione. Or if he was jealous of the friendship they shared. Draco had never been as relaxed, and comfortable with anyone as the trio clearly were together.
"He likes to sell this stuff on the black market." Potter said to his friends, motioning to the potion, like he had admitted to some deadly secret.
"Really?" Weasley asked as he leaned in closer, thrilled and suddenly fully awakened by the admission.
"Yeah, i caught him stealing tentacula leaves from the greenhouse, and then he asked Hagrid for a vial of his Acromantula's venom when it died." Potter nodded grimly. "So yeah i'd say this lot is headed for the black market, very soon."
"Harry." Hermione scolded him like a child. "Didn't you think to tell someone?"
"What's there to tell really?" Potter smiled up at Hermione as she rolled her eyes. Draco had always thought the lot of them were goody two shoes, especially Hermione.
Was that it then? Draco thought to himself. Her goodness, could that be what drew him to her. Draco assessed her. She was pretty but there were alot of pretty girls. Her hair was plain, and brown. Many times Draco had noticed ink stains on her hands, and shirt collar. She wasn't a slob though, she was deadly precise when it came to her work.
Draco deduced that maybe it was the way she worked that had bewitched him. Draco had been studying her all these years, without even realizing he was doing it. She seemed a devoted friend, a loyal friend. Loyalty was a quality the Malfoy family held in high regard. That was good. Then Draco remembered her blood status. That could be it, she was forbidden fruit. The fruit of a tainted Mudblood, he could not sink his teeth into. He tried desperately to lie to himself, to concoct anything that might excuse his fascination with her.
"I am so fucked." Draco whispered under his breath so no one else could hear. The only girl in the wizarding world he couldn't have, was the only one he wanted. He had been raised to believe she was lesser, her blood was dirty. Draco was quickly realizing he didn't care about any of that, not anymore. How had it taken him this long to question the beliefs of his parents? How had he allowed himself to live in denial for so long?
"It just feels a bit scummy now, knowing that i'm brewing a potion to help some bloke get his rocks off." Ron Weasley said as Draco continued to listen in on the three of them.
Hermione paused her cauldron stirring, and smirked. Then Potter chuckled. Weasley grinned, and before he even knew it the 4 of them were laughing together.
That had been the first moment Draco admitted to himself, that he had been very wrong about the trio. Draco had been wrong about alot when it came to the 3 of them. He began to hope that maybe someday he might right some of those wrongs he had done them.
As the peels of laughter died down a bit Hermione met Draco's eye, wistfully. Ron, and Harry were still in their fit of laughter and distracted. Hermione had heard Draco laughing along, she had known he was listening to them. She eyed Draco up and down while he schooled his face into passive indifference. He was slightly embarrassed at having been caught, at having been caught finding Ron Weasley funny. Then Hermione winked at him. It was so fast he wasn't even sure if it had really happened.
After that Draco had became bolder, spurned on by one simple wink. He began to spend more time in the library, hoping for a glimpse of her.
On one such night it was only Draco, and Hermione in the library. Draco was halfheartedly looking at the small section on Quidditch, he had already devoured all of the books on the shelf 2 times over.
"You know," Hermione began "they keep the best books under the circulation desk. Ones they don't want the students to ruin."
"Really?" Draco breathed, they had never engaged in an actual conversation. A civil conversation.
"Oh, yes." Hermione began to close the book she was reading, grinning ear to ear. Her fingers gently deposited a bookmark between the pages. Draco could make out what he thought might be a butterfly on it. Draco could not help but notice from the way her shirt hung on her chest, it was very cold in the library. Then very conspiratorially Hermione told him "You need a key though."
Draco was only a couple tables away standing at the shelves. He began to cross the room, daring to get closer to her. Draco shoved his hands in his pockets suddenly very aware of the ink that made up the dark mark on his arm.
"Think they have any Quidditch books locked up?"
"Let's find out." Then Hermione goody two shoes Granger produced a large brass key from her shirt pocket.
Draco had perched himself on the corner of the table opposite of her. Of course she had been trusted with a library key. "Granger." He laughed "You have a little Slytherin showing under all that red." Draco pointed to her house shirt.
"Everyone bends the rules, now and then." Hermione said shrugging her shoulders. She pushed back from her seat to stand.
"Just surprised to hear you say something like that. Aren't you like the head of the committee for all things good and right in the world?" Draco teased. He did not want their conversation to end anytime soon. He would talk about the bloody weather if he had to.
"Maybe you just don't know me that well, Malfoy." Draco was following her to the circulation desk. It dawned on him that the library was why she smelled of ink and parchment. She spent alot of time in the library. Draco was enjoying their chat far to much.
"Maybe, i don't." Draco agreed.
"Would you like to?"
"Like to what?" Draco asked as she fit the key perfectly into the lock. There was a hidden panel under the circulation desk. Hogwart's always found new ways to surprise Draco. Hidden things were scattered throughout the castle.
"Know me well." Hermione answered then continued before he had a chance to flounder over his answer. His tongue felt heavy as she spoke on. "I have this theory about you, Malfoy. Earlier you said i had a little Slytherin in me. Well i've held the belief for awhile now, you might just have some Gryffindor in you. I would like to get to know you, and see if i might be right."
The tumbler in the lock clinked as it turned. It was silent for a moment while Draco's brain struggled to respond, and Hermione swung open a door. A collection of books were neatly organized on 2 racks.
"I'd like that Granger." He finally settled on.
"Here." Hermione stacked together 3 books on Quidditch, the front one was signed. They all looked brand new, untouched and clean. She pushed the stack towards him across the counter. Their fingertips brushed, and neither of them seemed in a hurry to move. Her hand was warm, it made him smile.
"Won't someone notice they've gone, Granger?"
"Not as long as you make sure to bring them back tomorrow night, at the same time." Hermione smiled up at him, and her teeth sparkled. She was shorter than him, and he liked that she had to look up at him. It gave him a better view. He could see now, he was wrong before. There was nothing plain about Hermione, not even her hair.
A promise to bring the books back was really a promise to see her again. "Consider it done." Draco let his thumb drift across the back of her hand as he picked the books up in one palm. She had goosebumps, and he was pleased to find Hermione Granger was as effected by his presence as he was by hers.
Those nights in the library had been Draco's salvation. His 6th year had been a constant struggle like he was treading water, trying not to drown. Hermione had thrown him a life raft.
They spent their evenings talking about politics, classes, even Potter and Weasley. Draco had convinced her to give quidditch another try. She began attending the matches in earnest, Draco was always trying to pick her out of the crowds. She was on her way to becoming a proper fan in his opinion. The one thing they seemed to skirt around was the one thing they needed to address the most. Draco knew when they did it would ruin everything.
Draco had always known a life with Hermione was impossible. She was a muggleborn. His entire family was in league with the one dark wizard who wanted all of her kind dead. It would be unfair of him to ask her to hide some secret relationship, so he resolved not to. He was content to share these stolen little moments with her, tucked safely away in the library together. Hermione allowed him reprieve from the daunting task he had been set for the year. When he was with Hermione he could be someone else entirely.
Draco was becoming more, and more consumed with thoughts of Hermione Granger as the days went on. None of his thoughts were very chivalrous. In fact in all of the fantasies he had about her, he was anything but a gentleman to her. He was downright dastardly with her in his private thoughts. He had alot of thoughts about what he might like to do to her, alone. Alone, and in a bed with her.
Draco would go back and forth wondering if she liked him back, as more than a friend. He tormented himself night after night. Then one evening for no reason at all Hermione had pulled him into her by a fistful of his shirt, her lips crashed to his. Draco had felt like he was flying for a moment. It was everything he thought a kiss with her might be. Good, sinfully good. But then she had gone and spoiled everything with one single sentence.
"Go to Dumbledore, i'll come with you." Hermione thought that would solve everything, Dumbledore would wave his magic wand and make Draco's life all better. "The order of the Phoenix can help you."
"No." Draco pulled back, and it stung him to disentangle from her. Her lip trembled slightly. Draco expected she knew as well as him the two ways this might go. Either he picked her side or he picked his parents side. "I won't leave my parents to die."
"We can think of something Dumbledore can-" Draco cut her off because he saw it then, there was no rationalizing his choice to her so long as she thought they could be together. Draco had to crush any hope she had, so she could be free of him.
"Dumbledore is a fool, you cannot count on him. He won't be alive come next September." That had after-all been Draco's one task for the year. Not that he had told Hermione that. "If you honestly think Dumbledore's all thats keeping you safe in the castle, you may as well pack it up, and go home to your muggles."
"Draco." Hermione's eyes were glassy, she was hurt. She had come to trust him, and he was stepping back into bad habits before her eyes. Draco needed to hurt her much further. She still had hope in her eyes. Her hand was extended, trying to pull him back to her.
"What did you think this was Granger? Did you think you actually mattered to me? You are nothing to me, just something to mess with when i'm bored. Malfoy's don't marry dirty blooded whores, i could never marry a filthy Mudblood like you." Hermione let her hand fall to her side. Tears spilled down her face. Draco had called her the one thing he had used to wound her so many times in the past. This time it cut her deeper than the times before, because she had allowed herself to trust Draco entirely.
"You didn't push me away until i brought up Dumbledore." Hermione challenged him.
"I only let you kiss me because I wanted to know if it would be as disgusting as i thought. It was."
Draco turned away from her, resolved to leave. He was afraid to turn around to look at her, because he was afraid he might cave and apologize. But he was also afraid to see her hopeless dead eyes. He needed her to hate him, to get away from him before he got her killed.
"Please, Draco wait." Hermione called after him.
"Don't be at Hogwarts at the end of term." He threatened her. That was when he planned to let the death eaters into the castle. When he planned to kill Albus Dumbledore.
Draco left the library with his heart completely broken of his own accord.