When Evan and I walk into the common room together the next morning, talking animatedly about magic we know and spells we want to learn, the regal, platinum-haired boy who patted me on the back last night motions for Evan and me to go over to him.
Evan waves to him, and as we walk over, he says, "Good morning, Lucius!"
"How did you like your first night at Hogwarts, Evan?"
"It was fun!"
"Who's your little friend?" the boy named Lucius asks, looking down at me and smiling condescendingly.
"This is Severus! He already knows a lot!"
I look down at the floor and shuffle my feet.
"Nice to meet you, Severus. My name is Lucius Malfoy," Lucius says, and holds out his hand.
I shake it weakly, and mumble, "Nice to meet you, too." I remember my mum telling me about the Malfoy family! She said they're a very old pureblood family, just like the Prince's.
"You hexed Joseph Wilkes last night?" It isn't so much of a question as a confirmation.
"How'd you know about that?!" I exclaim.
"I already asked Clarence about his night. He told me," Lucius says in a lazy drawl, "Explain."
"He was makin' fun of me," I frown.
"It wasn't his fault— Joseph called him a mudblood," Evan says quickly, "but he's not."
I glance up at Lucius quickly to try to see if he is angry. My eye catches his Head Boy badge, and suddenly my heart rate quickens.
"Very impressive, Severus," Lucius smiles, "You did exactly the right thing to make sure your classmates respect you. Joseph has been headstrong since the day he was born. I think it was good of you to teach him a lesson. How have you already learned to do magic?"
"I read all my mum's old school books," I say, slightly more confidently, "and I practiced a lot with sticks in the woods and stuff."
"Who are your parents? I don't think I know them, and I am very well connected."
"My mum is Eileen Prince and my dad is Tobias Snape."
"Eileen Prince? Not the Eileen Prince! I know your grandparents and uncle! Elliot told me they disowned his sister when she got pregnant over summer break and ran off with some muggle before even graduating school! I'll have to let him know you're here! Perhaps he'll want to meet you! Now that I think about it, you do look an awful lot like him, don't you? Well, Severus, after your lessons today, I would very much like you to visit me in my dorm. The seventh-year one. I would like to speak with you more in depth about what you know. And Evan, have a good day! I'm sure I'll see you around. Let me know if you need anything!"
"Have a good day!" Evan smiles. I wave goodbye. As we walk away, I hear him murmur to his friends, "...new project…shouldn't be too hard," and I wonder what he's talking about. Are the professors already giving the seventh-years projects this early in the year? Anyways, I feel a little starstruck. I can't believe Lucius Malfoy wants to talk to me!
"How do you know him?" I ask Evan.
"Oh, you know," Evan runs his hand over his smoothed-down hair, "our families know each other."
"How?"
"We all just kind of keep in touch, I suppose," Evan looks sideways at me, and seeing my confused expression, he says, "You know, we're pureblood and all. We all just kind of know each other. Clarence and I were friends before school, too, but he and Joseph have always been best friends. My family's not super close with the Malfoys, though. We're a little closer with the Lestranges. Rodolphus and Lucius are friends. He was the one with the darker brown hair."
"Oh," I say, reddening, "That's cool."
"You didn't say you were related to the Prince's! They don't have any kids around our age, so I don't know them that well. I never knew about your mum or anything!"
"It's okay. I've never met 'em, anyways," I say, looking at the floor.
Evan glances at me, but doesn't say anything.
When we get down to the Great Hall for breakfast, I do not know where to start. I take a piece of toast, some strawberries, and an egg. I slip an apple into my bag just in case. You never know when you're going to run out of food. I see Lily walking into the Great Hall, and wave to her. She and the blonde girl she is walking with come over to the Slytherin table.
"Hi, Sev! How did you sleep last night? Is your common room cool? I love mine! I have so much to tell you already! Oh, this is Marlene McKinnon! She's in our year! Who's your friend?"
"Hey, Lily! This is Evan Rosier! He's in our year, too!"
After Lily and her friend Marlene have left our table, Evan turns to me and asks with an interested expression, "How do you know that girl already?"
"We live in the same town— we've been friends for a long time."
All through breakfast, I wonder if I would do better to keep my friendship with Lily quiet around my other friends. The way Joseph was calling me mudblood— but no, how would they find out? If I can just keep her parentage quiet, then it'll be fine. If they ask, I'll just change the topic. Someday, they'll see that Lily's different. Her parents are good muggles, not bad ones like my father. I know that we'll always be friends. Always.
When Evan and I receive our schedules, we see that we have History of Magic and Potions with the Gryffindors. Evan looks disappointed, but I feel euphoric! Lily has been making me promise her since she found out that I did potions with my mother that I would help her with potions.
"Hey, Severus?" Evan asks.
"Mmm?"
"Do you have a nickname or anything?"
"My dad calls me Rus, and Lily calls me Sev."
"What do you prefer?"
I don't want to say the wrong thing, so I just say, "It don't matter. I don't mind either way."
"May I call you Sev, then?"
"Mm hmm! Sure!" I smile.
"Sev, do you know any potions, too?" asks Evan. My euphoria crumbles into uncertainty.
"Yeah, a little. My mum and I both get headaches, so she sometimes has me make pain-relieving potions while she's at work. They're real easy, though."
"Wow, that's awesome! I wish I were smart like you," Evan responds with a hint of jealousy.
"I'm not smart," I say quietly, hearing the voice of my father in my head, 'YOU WORTHLESS, STUPID, GODDAMN, MOTHERFUCKIN' KID.'
Evan drops it as we head off for our classes.
Once we get to History of Magic, Lily sits to the right of me, Evan sits to the left, and Marleen sits to the right of Lily. As I take out my parchment, quill, and ink, I notice the boys from the train whispering. The one with the messy black hair and glasses looks at me and then turns back to his friend with the dark, wavy hair. I cock an eyebrow at them, then go back to carefully labeling the first page in my notebook with today's date. I try to listen and take notes, but the lecture is so boring that Lily, Evan, Marleen and I end up playing a large game of Hangman instead. I would rather have just played with Lily, but I couldn't exclude Evan, and she couldn't exclude Marleen. I figure I can just read the textbook later.
Later on in Potions, Lily, Evan, Marleen and I all sit at one table in the same setup as before. Professor Slughorn looks interestedly at our little mixed table, but says nothing. When he starts asking questions, I raise my hand for every one. My mum told me before I left to try to impress my professors. If I impress them, then maybe I'll be able to get somewhere in life. It is important for me to make connections and become more powerful than my mother. I don't want to end up like her. Every question Professor Slughorn asks, I answer correctly. Soon, he begins asking them only to me. As he grows more confident in me, my own self confidence grows. Soon I am speaking louder, sitting up straighter, and I even push my hair behind my ears and out of my face. When Slughorn is done questioning me, he gives me a smile, and turns away to begin the lesson. Lily smiles at me, "I like your hair back," she whispers. I smile as I write down the notes from the chalkboard.
When we are finished with our classes, Evan and I walk back to the common room together, joined by John, Clarence, and Joseph. As we reach the middle of the common room, I say goodbye, and set off towards the seventh-year dorms. Before I knock on the door, I take a deep breath, comb my fingers nervously through my hair, and straighten my tie.
I knock three times, quietly, so as not to be too annoying to the seventh-years who are so cool and powerful.
"Come in," calls a drawling voice. My hand trembles as I open the door, "Severus! How prompt!" I don't even ask what prompt is. I don't need to embarrass myself today, "Your classes went well?"
"Yes, sir," I say, "what about yours?" I add nervously as another one of the seventh-years turns to look at me.
"They were alright," Lucius turns to the other seventh-year in the room, "Rodolphus, I would like a private word with Severus. Would you give us a minute?" Rodolphus grins at Lucius, grabs his books, and walks out, closing the door quietly, "Now, little Severus, before we speak, would you like a chocolate? My mother sends them to me, and obviously I can't eat all of them!"
"No, thank you," I mutter.
"I insist. You're emaciated and you ought to put on a bit of weight. It's not a good look, Severus."
I want to yell at him and tell him it's none of his damn business, but I take the chocolate and thank him.
"Would you like to tell me a little bit about how you came to know so much about potions and magic as a first year?"
I choke a little on the chocolate, "How do you know about potions?"
"Professor Slughorn spoke most highly of you. He told me that I ought to make sure you come to his next dinner party"
"Th-that's nice," I stutter.
"So… mind telling me a little bit about yourself and how you know so much?"
I know I am boring him and he's not going to like me anymore. I'm just a nuisance, and nobody likes me, "My mum used to always make me read her old textbooks while my dad was out 'cause we ain't got no other books, and my dad don't like magic, and me and mum get headaches a lot, well, mainly me, but when my mum has money for ingredients I help her cut stuff up, and stir the potions, and and and and—"
"Severus, sit down," Lucius sits on the side of his bed, hands me another chocolate, and pulls me down next to him, "What's this about your father not liking magic?"
"My mum didn't tell my dad about her magic. He only found out when I started makin' stuff happen as a kid. It was my fault. I was bad," I say sadly. I put the chocolate into my mouth and let it melt. Something about Lucius makes me want to tell him.
"And what did your father do when he found out?"
"He got real mad. A few years ago, the steel mill closed, and now he's always mad, even though he's got a job at the car factory now. Mum taught me how to make some basic potions so I'd be okay when I got to school. She always says I gotta be better than she was and not make the same mistakes. She says I gotta focus on school and not pay attention to muggle girls when I get older."
"She is indeed correct. Muggles don't deserve our attention, do they, Severus?"
I hesitate for a second, remembering Lily's parents and my own father, then, because I don't want to make him mad, I shake my head, and say, "No, sir."
"And what about this bruise?" he asks, stroking my hair out of my face and uncovering the purple bruise on my cheek, "What happened here?"
"I'm real clumsy. And sometimes the other kids in town fight with me," I repeat the lie I've told a million times. Sometimes I even make myself believe that it's all my fault. My eyes start to burn again, and I look down at my knees, letting my hair fall back into my face.
Lucius puts his long fingers underneath my chin and tilts my head back up, "That's no matter, so long as you behave yourself at school. I'm sure it's a bit rough-and-tumble out where you live. You know, I think you're very smart, Severus. Not many first years come to school already making potions and doing magic. That's very special."
I look back down, letting my hair cover my small smile. Nobody's ever told me I'm smart or special before.
"You know, you look better without your hair in your face, Severus. Let me give you one of the bands I use to keep my hair back."
By the end of our talk, I have received a hair tie and eaten three chocolates. As Lucius walks me out of his dorm room, I thank him, and he says it's his pleasure, and that he'll see me around. I walk slowly back out to the common room, uncomfortably aware of Lucius' friends watching me. When I get close to him, the seventh-year named Rodolphus ruffles my hair and smiles at me, then he and another seventh-year head back to their dorm. I take my homework out, and tie my hair back in the new hair tie Lucius gave me. It feels odd, and I don't like uncovering my bruised cheek, but I want to make Lucius happy. Even though I am preoccupied with the thought of Lucius' generosity, I still try to do my best on the little bit of homework I have been given on this first day of classes. It takes me a long time because I'm not used to writing with a quill, and it's hard for me to understand some of the things in my charms textbook. When I finish my homework, I look through my potions textbook, and stop when I come to the page I was looking for. I mark the page and walk over to the potions lab. Potions are easy. No difficult reading passages or complicated spells and movements to remember. It's just you, the recipe, and your ingredients. Potions are challenging, but in their own, fun way, because in the end, you're rewarded with something cool! Plus, recipes are just suggestions— I know you can improve on cooking and baking recipes, so why wouldn't you be able to improve on potions recipes? Charms and transfiguration are cool, I guess, but you don't get anything for your hard work. One spell is just one spell, but one potion can be put into lots of vials to be used now and later. I know some people even sell their potions! I hope I'm good enough to do that someday.
The next day I skip lunch, choosing instead to go to the dungeons to finish the potion I had prepared the night before. My stomach growls as I stir the potion, gently tossing in the last two mistletoe berries. As I stir, I sing quietly to myself,
"Will ye go, lassie, go?
And we'll all go together
To pluck wild mountain thyme
All around the bloomin' heather
Will ye go, lassie go?"
All through the rest of my classes I check the clocks anxiously, my friends already know that I can't hang out right after class today. I only need to wait till Charms is over, then I will be able to run straight to the common room and give Lucius what I have prepared. When the bell rings, I grab my bag, wave a hasty goodbye to Evan and the rest of my friends, and dash off to the Slytherin common room.
"Where are you off to so quickly, Snivelly?" asks a sneering voice. I skid to a halt, whirl around, and take out my wand. There is no way anybody is going to hold me up today.
"My name is Severus, and you'd better mind your own fuckin' business."
It's that boy with the messy black hair and his friend again.
"No thanks," says the wavy haired boy, "you have somewhere important to be? James, I bet he's going to the library to read more about Potions so that old Slughorn still likes him tomorrow."
"No, that ain't where I'm goin', but if I had your brains, it sure would be. You need all the help you can get!" I turn on my heel and dash away, trusting the large number of people in the corridor to stop the boys from hexing me while my back is turned.
When I get to the common room, I see Lucius and his friends sitting by the fire, and I walk straight over.
"Hi!" I smile, sitting down on the floor in front of Lucius' armchair.
"Hello, there!" Lucius chuckles, then, noticing my hair, he exclaims, "Severus, your hair is a mess! Did you even try to do it nicely?" Lucius' disappointed tone makes me feel guilty and stupid.
"I did try! I combed it back with my fingers this mornin' and everything!" I mumble, smile slipping off my face.
"Merlin, that accent's terrible," Lucius' friend with the dirty-blond hair whispers. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Rodolphus nod.
Lucius motions for me to turn around. Embarrassed, I obey. He takes the hair tie out, summons his hair brush with a spell, brushes my hair back, pulls a couple of the shorter pieces out to frame my face, and puts the hair tie back on. I hate it, but I don't want Lucius to get mean and not like me anymore like my father. When he is finished, I turn back around. Without waiting for him to speak, I shove the vials of potion I made into his hands, "These are for you. Cure for Nausea. I thought you might like them."
"Severus, thank you! These look beautiful! They certainly might come in useful at some point. You did very well! You're so smart," he purrs, and runs his hand over my smoothed-down hair. I glow with pride, and flash him a small smile. He returns it, and says, "Would you like to sit here with me for a bit while you work on your homework?"
"Uh huh!" I nod emphatically, leaning against his chair next to his legs and taking out my homework.
"It seems like your little project is going well, Lucius," Rodolphus says.
"Yes, very well," Lucius drawls, leaning down to stroke my hair as if I am a prized show-dog, "Jealous, Rodolphus?"
"No, just entertained and impressed. I thought it would take longer for you to get so far!"
"Me too. I'm pleasantly surprised."
I tap Lucius' leg and he looks down, smiling at me, "What's your project?" I ask.
Lucius' friends snicker, and, pulling a lollipop out of his pocket, he says, "Just a little thing, really. You don't need to worry about it. Would you like a lollipop?"
"Uh huh! Yes, please!"
He unwraps the lollipop and I hold out my hand. Smiling, he says, "Open up!"
A bit uncomfortable, but not wanting to make Lucius mad, I open my mouth and he places the lollipop inside. It's cherry! I smile, and through the lollipop I say, "Thanks!"
"Do you like that flavor?"
"Mm hmm!"
"If you're good tomorrow, I'll give you another! I have a few different flavors!"
"Mm kay!" I chirp, looking back at my Charms homework. Confused, I tap Lucius' leg again, take my lollipop out of my mouth, and say, "Lucius?"
"Yes, Severus?"
"Can you help me with this question? I don't get it." Now that Lucius' friend pointed it out, I guess my accent does sound bad compared to everybody else. I never noticed it before, living in Cokeworth. That's how everybody speaks out there, except my mum, and Lily and her family, but they aren't from Cokeworth originally.
Lucius motions for me to hand him my homework, and I do so, "Is this for Charms class?"
I put the lollipop back in my mouth, saying, "Mm hmm!"
"You're in luck, kid!" another one of Lucius' friends calls out from the couch, then, to Lucius, he says, "Aren't you going for your charms mastery at the end of this year, mate?"
"I may," Lucius muses, still looking over my homework, "It would certainly be beneficial. This answer should be different, Severus," he says, pointing to the page. For the next few minutes, he helps me finish my charms homework. When Evan comes up, he sits down next to me and pulls out his own homework.
"Sev?" he says.
"Mmm?"
"Can we move to a table?"
I glance up at Lucius, and laughing, he pats my head, saying, "Go ahead!"
I smile at him, pick up my stuff, and Evan and I go sit down at a table to finish our homework.