Clynn vs Lynncoln

by Hatoralo

Lynn and Clyde are together, but the two are not prepared for Lynn's younger brother and his reaction when he finds out about their relationship. The subsequent argument escalates to unforeseen levels pretty quickly, with the rest of the Loud family getting involved as well, including some of their special ones. All while Lincoln fights for the right of being... Lynn's boyfriend?

Hatoralo: Hello everyone. What you are about to read is a collaboration work written by me and BarleyCup.
BarleyCup: And quite the work it is! As you're about to see, we had quite a lot to cover given the main premise and subject matter.
Hatoralo: Shipping can be very serious sometimes, and sometimes it can be, well...
BarelyCup: Let's just say it can be quite controversial when it comes to some ships, as are certain people who discuss said ships and how... colourful they can be about their opinions.
Hatoralo: As for what we mean exactly with that, you'll find out as soon as you start reading the story proper.

---

Clynn vs Lynncoln

by

Hatoralo and BarleyCup

---

On a sunny day Lincoln Loud was the absolute happiest guy around. He had two cans full of root-beer in his hands for his best friend and himself. After the drink they would search the forest for buried treasure and end the day with Lincoln's new game: "Avatar, the Last Airbender: Azula's Electric Bogaloo."

All was perfect, nobody would dare to rain into his parade, he had made sure of that or at least was very sure of that.

He walked around the corner to the backyard of his house, expecting the best day. "Hey, Clyde I ha-"
Lincoln let the cans of root beer fall to the ground, which they did in slow-motion and as dramatically as possible. What he saw shocked him too much to phrase it into words. It was something he never thought would have even been possible now and forever.

Lynn and Clyde stopped kissing and looked over to a very-shocked-to-the-core-Lincoln.

"Hi, Lincoln," said Lynn Jr. non-gallantly. "I know it is your day with him but I thought I would be finished with him before you would show up again."

"And we are a romantic couple bro," added Clyde shyly. "I forgot to mention that earlier this week, I am sorry."

Lincoln was not able to say anything about that. His mind was spinning, thousands of things echoed in his head and he had thousands of responses.

"How is this possible?" asked Lincoln meekly.

"What do you mean 'how is this possible'?" Lynn asked dryly. "Do you think there's something wrong with it?"

"No, of course not," Lincoln quickly replied. "I'm very happy that you two got together… As weird as that is."

Lynn glared at him, but Clyde immediately tried to intercede. "He's not entirely wrong. You have to admit we make a very peculiar couple, don't we? Heheh."

"Yes, maybe," Lynn retorted, "but that doesn't change why he asked, well why."

"No, but I really want to know!" Lincoln repeated. "I don't understand just how this came to be in the first place… But, most importantly, the why."

Clyde looked at Lynn and they exchanged a glance. Now the young boy with a Scottish surname was starting to get slightly confused by Lincoln's behavior as well.

"We… Just ended up together, Linc," Clyde tried to explain. "It just happened a bit out of nowhere, that's true… But I think I really like her."

"And I do like him…" Lynn added. For extra effect, she proceeded to wrap an arm around his shoulders. "He's got guts beyond that frail façade, I'll tell you that."

"I do?"

Lynn simply laughed, but her smile disappeared once she looked at Lincoln. Her brother had a very serious frown on his face, as if she'd just offended his online RPG skills.

"No, no, this isn't enough. This doesn't make sense! You aren't supposed to be together!"

Lynn left Clyde and took a step towards Lincoln as she frowned herself.

"Lincoln… why is this bothering you?"

"It doesn't make sense, why can't you two see it?!" Lincoln blurted out. He started to agitate with his hands as he repeated, "You two aren't supposed to be together!"

"You are crossing a thin line, Lincoln!" Lynn finally shouted, having enough of his BS. "Tell me exactly what the fuss is about or I'm going to consider to move up my exercise session to exactly now. And change it from baseball to karate. Without the safety rules."

Lincoln shook his head. "You don't understand, Lynn. You see, you can't stay with Clyde, because you already have me."

For a place that was called the Loud House, the silence that fell in the backyard was quite striking to say the least.

"…What?" Lynn managed to let out.

"Lincoln, I think I heard it wrong," Clyde added, as befuddled as his girlfriend.

Lynn took a few seconds to rationalize what Lincoln just said and then she retorted: "Lincoln, you surely mean that Clyde can't be with me because he already has you. You just misspoke."

"No, I mean it like… Like I said!" Lincoln ensured, yet was wobbly with his words and sounded slightly unsure. "You are mine Lynn, it has to be."

"You mean "my sister", right?" suggested Clyde, trying to rescue this situation and giving Lincoln an out. "This is the answer, correct?"

"No, I mean…. I mean… ARGH! No, I don't mean it like that", shouted Lincoln suddenly. "All I want is… Is… More time with Lynn, yes."

Lynn's expression of worry just increased in turn. She got on her feet and walked towards Lincoln. "Are you okay, lil' bro?"

"I am fine," snapped Lincoln quick. "Now, come here and… Hug me."

"No," gave Lynn back. "Not now. You are acting strange and I want to know why."

"I just don't want Clynn to be happening!" Lincoln blurted. "Is that so bad?"

Lynn just became infatuated with Clyde today and the she hadn't even thought of a couple name. Though, she liked "Clynn", it sounded right.

"Clynn will happen," responded Lynn. "You are not the one to dictate my love life."

"I'll tell mom and dad!"

Lynn laughed in return. "Seriously? I doubt that they will have a problem with that."

"I'll tell Lori!"

"She is Pro-Boyfriend."

"I tell… Ehm… I tell Leni, Luna, Luan, Lucy, I tell all!"

"Nice of you, because we have not to do that then," responded Clyde with a smile. "Don't forget my dads."

"And my friends as well," requested Lynn casually. "I give you their numbers."

"YOU… I… I mean… You don't know how complicated love is."

"I watched so much of "The Dream Boat" I know how it is going," said Lynn. "And if something happens where the show doesn't help I ask Lori, Luna or Luan. They have Boyfriend and Girlfriends already."

Lincoln grew desperate "Clyde doesn't know how to act around women. Just think of Lori!"

"Thanks to Lynn I feel like I can act normal around Lori more easily now," explained Clyde hopeful. "I just hope she doesn't turn jealous again."

"It is not a good sign if you can't even let go of an obsessed lover," continued Lynn. "I mean seriously, that wa-"

"That is not important," interrupted Lincoln. "You have to be my girlfriend Lynn."

Lynn didn't know how to respond to this. Neither did Clyde, agape at this statement.

"We know each other so well and are very close in age, also we have contrasting personalities," continued Lincoln with a lot more sincerity and assurance in his voice than before as if it was the most normal thing to say in the world. "It is just the perfect combination."

Lynn needed to come over her shock at hearing this first. "I- you- also… Lincoln, this is not normal, blood related people can't be in a romantic relationship!"

"It is the only logical choice for us and Lucy is too dark for me," continued Lincoln seriously. "I can only be with one of my sisters, I have no choice."

"You have no choice?!" Lynn blurted out in utter confusion. "What are you even talking about?!"

"I'm talking about the fact that there is no other way, Lynn," Lincoln explained. "No other ship has as good of a chemistry as our ship. It's basically like putting two puzzle pieces together, except it's you and me. No other combination is viable!"

Clyde took off his glasses, scratched his eyes, then put them back on before looking at Lincoln again. "Lincoln… this is just wrong. What's going on with you? Are you all right?"

Lincoln scoffed. "Of course I am! I'm fine and just stating the obvious. Now the two of you have to break up though, only for Lynn to go back to me once she realizes where her true love is found."

Lynn scowled. "I want to pretend I'm just hearing it wrong and you're messing with me, Lincoln… But I'm not breaking up with Clyde, period!"

Lincoln's eyes widened, apparently surprised by her reaction. "D-didn't you heard what I just said-"

"What you just said was just a load of nonsense, Lincoln! You're talking about… Gah, why are we even talking about this!? It's wrong! It's weird! And it's not something I want!"

"T-that's not true! You don't know yet, Lynn, but you'll come around, and-"

"And what? What are you going to do to stop me?" Lynn growled. "You can't control what I think, Lincoln."

"Y-you can't… I-I…" Lincoln sputtered, unable to come up with a good reply. Lynn glared at him, furious about her brother's behavior but Clyde was a tad more concerned.

"Lynn… there's something wrong with him," Clyde feared.

"He's just trying to get under my skin. But after I give him a knuckle sandwich, I'm sure he'll regain his composure," Lynn cracked her fingers as if to highlight her point.

"No, Lynn, he's not fine, just look at him!"

By now, Lincoln was glaring back at the two of them, and Lynn soon understood that Clyde had noticed something real. He was shaking, his hands were trembling as he closed them into fists, and his face was contorted into an unnatural grimace. And he was… Salivating?

Also, when did his eyes turn red?

"You… you can't change it, Lynn! You must be my girlfriend! Not Clyde's! Or anyone else's!" Lincoln's voice boomed with a low tone. He pointed a finger at her. "You are supposed to stay with me only!"

"Lincoln... I will get our parents and they will explain to y-"

"I love you!" shouted Lincoln in response. "With all my heart."

"It is forbidden," argued Clyde. "I am now expert, you should ask Lisa about that topic if you want more detail, but when two blood-related people have a child that child will most likely suffer from genetic-defects and-"

"Shut your mouth, N-Word."

Time stood still.
Lincoln had said it, the one word even the most crass comedian wouldn't say into the face of an any person descendant from Africa or in Africa with a dark shade of pigmentation.
The word so ugly, anyone using it would have a hard time climbing up. Using it ironically was also impossible.
Only certain people can use the word freely and Lincoln is not one of them.

"Mr. Lincoln Loud," said Clyde in a tone so serious it even send Lynn a cold shiver over her back. "I hope I didn't hear what I just heard coming from your mouth."

Lincolns eyes vibrated wildly, his hands were shaking and even more foam was coming out of his mouth. "Fuck you Clyde, you homo N-Word."

Clyde became even more cold with his next words. "I thought you were better. You should be better. I can't believe that my love for Lynn would reveal such a racist truth."

Now Lincoln was howling like a Werewolf, a pissed off Werewolf. "Lynching isn't a crime if it's a N-Word."

"Lincoln, I warn you," said Lynn now, here voice filled with hot fury. "I think I would get away with breaking a few of your bones if you continue this."

"Get that N-Word away from my girl!", he screamed now like an enraged racist on steroids.

This was enough for Lynn. She would drag his ass to their parents and they would ground him for a few months. But instead, Lincoln ran faster than Lynn could remember he ever was at Clyde, tackled him to the ground and started to pound on him with his fists.

"DIE GIRLFRIEND THIEF, DIE!"

Lynn grabbed Lincoln and tried to pull him of from her boyfriend but this was more difficult than she anticipated. "Lincoln, let Clyde be or I give you a blueberry eye with a knuckle sandwich!"

Lincoln with a strength Lynn wouldn't have suspected from him shoved her away and onto the ground and continue his attack. He said: "aaaaahhhhh! weird racial mix experiments! what kind of horror movie is this? LOL!"

Lynn instead of being angry or worried scratched her head. "Was this sarcasm? Or serious?"

"What in the bloody bagpipes is going on here?" wanted a British sounding voice to know. Luna who the voice in question belonged to grabbed Lincoln and Lynn quicky stood up again and helped her older sister to drag Lynn away from Clyde.

"Is your brother okay?" wanted the blonde rocker-girl and Luna's girlfriend Sam to know. Both were just coming back from a date. "Hey, Lincoln are you okay? Why did you attack your friend?"

"The gay community is Hell on Earth, praise Jesus folks, amen. Death to gays. This killed TLH!" shouted Lincoln towards Sam and bit Luna in the arm.

"Lincoln what…." Luna was so in shock she didn't register the bite.

"What are you saying Lincoln?" asked a surprised and confused Sam.

"What, are you fucking gay?!"

"Yes, yes I am," was Sam's answer. "I thought your entire family was tolerant and welcoming, Luna."

"I have no idea where this is coming from," swore Luna. "Lincoln behaving like this…. It makes no sense!"

Lincoln fought back, barking like an angry Lana. "Clyde is only meant to be cucked!"

"Clyde is not-" Luna stopped. "Cucked?"

"I and Lynn fell in love with each other today," explained Clyde who was pulled up and then supported by Lynn. He had some bruises but nothing too serious. "He doesn't take it well. I think he is going bananas."

"Fuck off N-Word!" was Lincoln's response before vomiting into Clyde's face from quite a distance and ran into the house.

Lynn, Clyde, Luna and Sam exchanged a few glances.

"What the hell was that?!" Sam shouted, flabbergasted like she never had been before.

"I don't know! He just… I thought he was just being weird at first, but this is uncalled for… I-We, and Clyde-" Lynn said. She gripped at her own air in frustration. "ARGH!"

"Lynn," Luna placed a hand on her shoulder. "This is not your fault. There's something very, very wrong with Lincoln. He's not being himself! Even if he was a little jealous of you taking his friend away, as much sense as that would make…"

"At least I hope that's the case," Clyde grumbled. He massaged his nose-only to find out that he'd gotten a light nosebleed from the previous beating, yet he showed a surprising amount of coldness as he talked. "I can't believe he was always like that…"

"I may have met your friend for a short while," Sam uttered, "And Luna may have told me a bit about Lincoln. It just… Doesn't add up with this behaviour!" she gestured towards the house. From the inside they could even hear more obscenities from Lincoln only partly muffled because of the walls. "That was not Lincoln!"

Clyde and the two Loud sisters looked at her.

"…What? What did I say what's wrong?" Sam's eyes skipped from one face to the other.

"That's… It!" Clyde clapped his hands. "That was not Lincoln! It was someone else!"

"Wait there, Clyde, you don't mean someone has been taking control of my brother, right? I mean… Who could even think of those things, and then make our brother say them and act on them?"

"I don't want to know…," admitted Clyde. "But it's the next best thing, and I think I'd believe that rather than thinking my best friend is also a complete racist."

"And a homophobe," Sam added.

"And into… Weird thoughts about me," Lynn shuddered. "Gee, I just hope this is not some possession mess or anything like that."

"Did somebody say 'possession'?"

Lynn jumped in the air, screaming, and ended up landing in Luna's arms. "LUCY!"

"How did you manage to appear out of thin air when we are outside, in plain light…?" Clyde wondered while his mouth was agape.

"I believe that's better left for another time. Since right now I have a brother throwing out insults and words worth of the deepest recesses of the dark web. And I think I have a method to save him."

"You could say that again," Luna said. "If you think you can get him to at least listen to us… And stop biting us, as well" she flinched at the recent memory, "I'd appreciate it."

"I can, but we better do it soon. Who knows what the influence that took control of him may cause if we let it go rampant any longer."

"LINCOLN LOUD!"

That was the voice of the Loud patriarch coming from inside of the house. "Uh-oh."

The group went back in just in time to see a rabid Lincoln dangling off the chandelier of the kitchen, all while Lynn Sr. tried to convince him to get down. How it came to that situation, the others had no clue.

"Get down this instant! The amount of disrespect you have for your little sisters-we won't tolerate that!"

Clyde, Lynn, Luna and Sam looked at Lucy with interrogative gazes.

"He found Lola and Lana arguing in the dining room first, and he told them they didn't have to fight as he could have them both. The foaming saliva and bulging eyes scared the wits out of them, I think."

"You can't stop me, dad!" Lincoln shouted back. "No matter how hard you try, you cannot stop true love!"

Lynn Sr. tried to climb up a chair and the table to actually catch him, but Lincoln leaped away out of the range of his grip, which led to Lynn unceremoniously falling down on the floor with a 'thud'.

"Haha!" Lincoln shouted, "You see?! Nobody can stop the perfect relationships from happening!"

He crawled out of the kitchen on all fours, leaving the bystanders one again in shock about what had just happened.

"…Any help here? I think I broke a rib," Lynn Sr. let out in form of asking. Luna and Sam proceeded to help him back up again.

"We really need to get him now, before our brother ends up doing something he'll later regret…" Lucy said in all seriousness.

"Then, after him!" Lynn Jr. cried out.

---

Lincoln was faster on the four than the rest on two right now so he escaped their sights and made his way up to the second floor. Foaming and growling he vanished into the air ducts to seek his next target. He would find his next mark soon enough as he looked through a grid and saw something happening in the room Luna and Luan were sharing.
There, on Luan's bed lay Luan, snuggled closely to somebody, both covered by the blanket.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Luan."

"Let us do it."

The two started to make some noise and witnessing that alone that was enough for Lincoln. He crashed through the grid and screamed: "Pure shit!"

Luan looked in surprised at Lincoln. "I awaited and expected a lot of responses but not this one."

"Luan is not gay!"

"Well, she may be bisexual but she isn't sure about that," said the other person in response and raised their head. "You are Lincoln, aren't you?"

Lincoln pointed his finger at the two and shouted: "Yurishit!"

Maggie looked with a worried expression over to Luan. "I remember your brother, he wasn't like this at my birthday party. Not funny but not so… Hostile?"

"Are you okay Lincoln?" asked Luan in a worried tone now. "You look so… Angry. But different than your usual angry expression."

"This is utter shit!" shouted Lincoln in response.

"Stop shouting at us," demanded Maggie annoyed. "Ugh, Luan throw your brother out. This is no fun."

"What are you, fucking lesbian?"

"YES!" shouted Maggie back, having enough of this. "Ugh, I thought your brother was better than this, actually he is scaring me right now, but in a really disturbing way. Look at how he is shaking."

"Lincoln, do you have a problem with me having a girlfriend?" asked Luan seriously. "I am so confused by this. You never said anything about Sam and Luna."

"Luaggie is shit and so is Suna."

"I think they are cute together," argued Luan. "And you thought this too, you said this to me the other day."

"Shit, forced ship. Suna too."

"What is wrong, with you?" wanted a now clearly angry Maggie to learn. "There is nothing wrong about homosexuality!"

"Hey, pushing an agenda is Luna's work!"

In protest Luan and Maggie gave each other a long and romantic kiss.

"On the list of things that never happened, this never happened the most."

Luan wanted to say something harsh in response combined with a pun as the door was opened and Lynn Loud Sr. stormed in.

"Lincoln, what did- LUAN YOU COULD BECOME PREGNANT!"

"Faggots!" snarled Lincoln.

Luan just responded with a shit-eating grin. "That is my most pregnant goal."

Everybody, even the possessed Lincoln groaned in response.

"If I managed to get her pregnant I would be very surprised," said Maggie and rolled her eyes.

"Sorry, one of my daughters getting an unwanted pregnancy is one of my greatest worries," admitted Lynn Jr. "We Louds are very fertile, easy pregnancy is no surprise."

Luan laughed. "Don't worry Dad, I did plan only for a fail-tilization. Get it?"

Another collective groan.

"Get out of that bed you blokes and help us capturing Lincoln!" demanded Luna. "He is going Coo Ca Choo."

"Okay," said Luan and Maggie and jumped out of the bed together. Everyone except Lincoln covered their eyes simultaneously. Clyde did the same even though every part of his developing puberty wanted him to look at two naked females.

"LUAN LOUD!" shouted Lynn Sr., his head having obtained a glowing shade of red. "You can't do this, not before so many people, even if most of them are part of your family.

"Don't worry, we are fully clothed," said Luan. The others looked at the two hand-holding ladies who were fully clothed.

"Luan's idea," said Maggie stoically. "She wanted to play a prank on you. I don't like such stupid pranks."

Luan giggled and gave Maggie a kiss on the cheek. "Oh, yes you do my EMO-tional-Darling."

"Shut Up," Maggie responded, her pale visage now turning to a shade of red.

"Lesbians are abominations. Kill these bitches with fire!"

And with those words Lincoln puked at Luna, Luan, Sam and Maggie, followed with spitting fireballs which the they were all able to dodge and finally flew via jumping through the closed window in the room of the musician and the comedienne, shattering it.

"NO DESSERT FOR THE NEXT FIVE YEARS!" shouted Lynn Loud Sr. "Girls and Clyde get after Lincoln, I get Lori and Lisa to help us with this."

---

As soon as the group left Luna and Luan's room, they heard a window shattering nearby, followed by the room to Lucy and Lynn's room being literally flung out and down the stairs. Lincoln droned out of the open door, and by now all of the Louds had realized that a simple case of jealously couldn't have caused their brother to turn into a literal demon.

"You cannot stop the inevitable!" Lincoln bellowed, raising his arms in the air. "Lynncoln is real! Every Loudcest ship is real and way, way, WAY better than what shitty couples you people have! And you won't be able to stop me from making all of them real!"

"Yes, we can. AFTER HIM!" Lynn Sr. cried an order, and the entire group of people—Clyde, Lynn, Luna, Sam, Luan, Maggie and Lucy—charged at Lincoln. But Lincoln simply raised a wall of flames, stopping them dead in their tracks.

"Oh, come on, this is unfair! I want to get demon powers too!" Luna complained.

Lori had just opened the door of her room to check what the heck was going on in the hallway after hearing unusual loud noises instead of the usual loud noises and currently she was gaping at the spectacle as Lincoln screamed and ran after various Louds and their love interests with bloodshot eyes and a foaming mouth, throwing more fireballs while sputtering more incoherent statements.

"Lori! Get out of the house and get Lisa to help us here!" Lynn Sr. shouted when he noticed his oldest child. "Climb your way over the roof to get to her! We need something to pin Lincoln down!"

"…but-"

"That is NOT a question but an order, do it NOW!"

Lori gulped and promptly respected her father's wish and command, slamming the door shut. "Leni, don't open that door for any reason at all! It's a literal war out there!"

Leni had already sought refuge under the sheets of her bed by now and simply showed a thumbs-up behind her covers. Lori wasted no time and rushed out of her window, almost falling off, and rushed over the roof to get to the window that led to the room of Lisa and Lily.

When she entered said room, she saw that Lisa had already a gauss cannon turret pointed at the door, the little genius waiting with a finger on the trigger for anyone to try to break in.

"Wait, what? No!"

"Do you mean that 2021 isn't going to be the logical continuation of 2020 and that we aren't all going to perish in a doomsday event as I guessed given the noises coming from our hallway?"

Lori glared at Lisa. "Yes, but we still need your help. Lincoln has lost it and he's currently fighting the entire family behind that door," she pointed at the door in question, from which both of them could still hear the distinct noise of inhuman forces being at play. With the odd 'WE DON'T NEED YOUR UGLY GAY RELATIONSHIP' throw in the mix by Lincoln's voice.

"So, we need a way to get him to behave, or well at least get him to stay put," explained Lori. "Any suggestion?"

Lisa looked at the gauss cannon. "Are you sure-"

"No!"

The young doctor shrugged. "Very well. Considering what I'm hearing coming from that door uttered by our distressed brother, I may have something that should work just fine for this unprecedented situation."

---

"You aren't made to be together! It's gross and it's wrong. There's only one person she can be with, and that's—" Lincoln suddenly stopped chasing Lynn and Clyde as well as his stream of threats and slurs when the door to Lisa's room was slammed open and an object was thrown out of it, landing in the centre of the hallway.

The rest of the Louds and friends stopped running in fright and looked with apprehension at Lincoln, which by then had basically turned into a warlock (in terms of abilities, he wasn't wearing a cape with a high collar... yet), slowly approached the object. He picked it up and read the words aloud.

"Why Lynncoln doesn't work? A thorough review of 10 thousand words? I can work with this," he happily opened it and a device suddenly expanded out of the box, entrapping him into a web of metallic rods that worked like a straightjacket. He immediately started shouting to be let free, but he was otherwise immobile.

"How did you know that would work?" Lori wondered as she and Lisa came out of the room.

She shrugged. "I just improvised with the note on the box. As for the machine itself, well, you never know what kind of things may happen when you work in a scientific field like mine."

"You work in all fields."

"That's the point."

The family and the others present at this time approached the squirming form of Lincoln, as he kept glaring from one person to the other. "You cannot regulate the content we put here! It's us who have the better content!"

"Dad, do you… actually, does any of you know what's wrong with him?" asked Lori.

Most of the people present either shrugged, shook their head or opened their palms to show they had nothing. With the exception of Lucy.

"I am positive that Lincoln has fallen under the control of external forces, Lori," the goth explained. "In other words: He's been possessed. We'll have to force the dark influence out of him…"

"What is that dark influence?" wanted Luan to know. "I heard about a lot of demonic possessions but those demons are rarely racist. Pretty foul mouthed and terrifying but not racist.

"You messed with the wrong people n-word, THAT MONKEY IS GONNA GET IT," shouted Lincoln loudly while trying to get on his feet, hindered by the straitjacket he was forced to wear.

"It is not from this place," explained Lucy. "Not from this dimension, our dimension of being. It is from far away, a place not known to humanity in a different universe."

"Oh god Lynn could have two children with a monkey!" screamed Lincoln, spewing lighting from his mouth as he finally came onto his feet.

"Why should beings from another universe be so interested in Lincoln and his love life?" wanted a confused Clyde to know. "It almost sounds like shipping."

"What is shipping?" asked Lana who had found the courage to join the others after witnessing Lincolns disturbing behavior. "Has it something to do with sailing?"

"Consider infanticide should Lynn and Clyde have babies," advised Lincoln in a tone of pure hate.

"No, Lana, it is about the practice of fans in different fandoms to bring characters in media you like together in a romantic way," explained Clyde. "I and Lincoln know of this thanks to reading fanfics about Ace Savvy and One-Eyed Jack."

"Should Clynn marry this would be the most horrible nightmare those 2 would ever have!" shouted a panicked Lincoln, jumping around the gathered people and vomiting everywhere.

"Thank to these fanfics and many fanarts I know the two are a very proud gay romantic couple," chimed Lynn in. "Why are you looking at me like this Clyde?"

"In your fuck dreams Clyde, will you only ever marry Lynn," Lincoln said now in a calm collected manner while kicking against the walls, making holes in them and was still filled with rage.

"They have girlfriends," Clyde said.

"ABSOLUTELY FUCKING DEGENERATE," shouted Lincoln trying to tackle Lori who easily dodged him while listening to the more important conversation.

Lynn gave a hearty laugh. "Sure, this is the reason they kiss each other in fanfics and never these ladies."

"N-Words have HIV/AIDS and other STDSs!" Lincoln shouted now in desperation, hating to be ignored.

"We can discuss shipping later-" wanted Lori to say but she was interrupted by Lincoln, who shouted:

"NO THIS IS ALL ABOUT SHIPPING!"

Lincoln who was still entangled in the metallic rods was now ready to attack, his mouth foaming from wrath. "Ship, ship, ship them all! That is that characters are for, shipping!"

"There is more to life than just romance," argued Lori. "And I love romance and I like the idea that Clyde and Lynn have a romantic relationship. Now come down here so we can-"

Lincoln jumped into Lori and started to strangle her with his legs. "Clynnfags need to Die, CLYNNFAGS NEED TO DIE!"

Lori tried to throw Lincoln off but he was way stronger than usual. "Turning you into a pretzel was always an empty threat. To Lincoln, that is. But I will do it to you demon!"

Lynn. Sr. had enough, grabbed Lincoln from behind and with some use of strength pulled him of his oldest child. "Young man… No, demon who possesses this young man, you are grounded."

"Fuck n-word Clyde!" screamed Lincoln and kicked his father into the face but his father didn't let go.

"We must prepare a ritual immediately," advised Lucy. seriously "Lisa, this is a strong demon. I need assistance from science for this one."

"I will provide," promised Lisa. "I need an exact PKI-Reading and my high voltage generator.

"YOU DON'T GET ME!"
Lincoln spit and vomited again at everyone in the room and got loose from his father, dodged the capture attempts by his sisters and their romantic partners and then ran down the stairs. They then heard him screaming: "N-Word, N-Word, N-Word, N-Word, N-Word, N-Word, N-Word, N-Word, N-Word!"

Lynn, Luan and Maggie somehow made it down before anyone else and what they saw was something they would never forget.
It was Lincoln, showing Lily a picture of Clyde, pointing at it and repeating the N-Word again and again.

Luan, reacting quicker than the others snatched Lily away from Lincoln. "Are you completely nuts? Don't corrupt Lily!"

As Clyde came down Lily pointed at him, then saying, "N-Word."

"FUCK!" screamed an enraged Luan, not caring that this was one of the seven dirty words, not allowed on TV. "We have to get that out of her head, NOW!"

"LUAN, I…. I mean… Shit, you are correct," realized Lynn Sr. who just came down the steps but had heard everything. "What do we do with Lily?"

"New information," said Lynn. "Best we use the works of a popular comedian. What do we have in regards of professional comedians?"

The father of eleven looked through the DVD's and Blu-Rays they had in their collection. "Quick, what should Lily learn instead? Wait, here is something: "The Class Clown" by George Carlin. It has the 'Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television' in it."

"Put it in!" shouted Luan, in a tone that made it resemble an order, almost.

"But…. This is… Well… Eh, it is better than the N-Word," decided Lynn and put in the DVD and got Lily to concentrate on this very foul-mouthed comedian.

Lori came after them who heard everything and commented: "Mom will not like this."

"Mom will like a baby that uses the N-Word even less," argued Luna. "Okay, dude mister, that is enough. We will not let you corrupt any innocent babies."

"The gay community is Hell on Earth, praise Jesus folks, amen. Death to gays," shouted Lincoln Loud very loud.

"I don't remember Jesus ever saying anything about homosexuals being evil," contributed Lisa. "My theological studies never found any evidence about Jesus having an opinion on homosexuality at all, never mind being against it."

"What the smart sis of Lunes said," said Sam not willing to let herself be intimidated by a homophobic racist demon who is obsessed with incest.

Lincoln opened his mouth, but before he could throw out yet another hot take, the sisters and Lynn Sr. finally managed to immobilize him, taking him on all together.

As much as whatever had taken control of its brother gave him inhuman strength, it couldn't rebel to 8 pairs of limbs holding him down. Lincoln's mouth was also closed fast enough by Lynn Jr. getting a kitchen napkin into his mouth. He kept trying to shout obscenities and racial slurs through muffled growls, though no one was paying attention to whatever he was uttering any more.

"All right, everyone to my room!" Lisa uttered. "We'll get rid of the malevolent entity that has invaded our brother's insides & mind and turned him into a maniac!"

"I still can't believe this… This entity, is more concerned with… This shipping thing, of all things," Lana wondered. "I don't understand what's the big deal with that."

Lincoln glared at her, but the anger of whatever was controlling him went unnoticed or ignored.

"All I can understand is that I don't want this thing to hold my brother under its continuing influence any longer," Luna said firmly. "I don't think I can live with this version of Lincoln."

The sisters along with their father and the few guests present, dragged the squirming boy up the stairs, through the hallway and into Lisa's room. Lisa immediately started to get the pieces of equipment she needed up and running.

"I'll go get something to get things going. I will be ready soon, but I need to check Abramelin the Mage's findings on demons," explained Lucy before she disappeared into the hallway.

At that point, Lincoln finally managed to spit out the cloth that was silencing him. "YOU IMBECILES DISGUST ME! NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO, I WON'T-!"

Another object was applied onto Lincoln's mouth, though this time it was it was duct tape, unceremoniously used by Lori. She sighed as Lincoln was finally silenced for good, though he kept kicking to get free and emitting unnatural groaning noises. The combined strength of six sisters, his father and three more people holding him down was still strong enough to keep him immobilized.

"All right, Lisa. What's the plan?" asked Lori.

"We'll need Lucy, but until she makes her return, get him to sit here. Don't worry, it only looks like an electric chair," Lisa ordered while pushing what was basically an electric chair into the centre of the room.

"Why do you even have something like that in the first place?!" Lori asked in worried horror.

"Seems like our little sis wants to shock the demon out of Lincoln!" Luan blurted out.

"I would slap you, were my hands not occupied right now," Maggie said, with her frown managed to get frown-er. "How did I manage to fall in love with you-"

Lincoln started yelling, though his yells became just muffled sounds as the others put their hands on his slurry mouth, and almost got free from the grasps of the people around him.

"Let's just refrain from mentioning the love interests here and their relationships until Lincoln is free from this… Thing," Lynn Sr. suggested. The Louds and others all nodded in unison as they brought Lincoln down on the chair and locked his limbs down. He immediately started to jump out as soon as they let him go, but the locks held him in place despite his strength.

"All right, I'm already getting some good readings here. As I said that isn't an electric chair anymore- I mean, it never was an electric chair," corrected Lisa quickly. "With the sensors it is equipped with, and my generator connected, we should have enough energy to stun the possessing entity. Lucy!"

"I am already here!" said Lucy while popping up through the door, a interesting looking book in her hands. "As I recalled, Abrmelin has a few guidelines on demon control rituals. He's an inspiration for what I have in mind, which hopefully works the other way around as well… That is, getting them to stop controlling our brother."

"Well then let's not waste more time and get my friend back!" Clyde cried, determined to rescue Lincoln.

---

A few hours later Rita Loud was surprised as she came home. Surprised how her youngest daughter sat before the TV alone. Surprised that she was watching George Carlin. And she was especially surprised as Lily looked at her and instead of saying "Mama" she uttered "Motherfucker".

"LYNN LOUD SR.!" Rita shouted. "Why is Lily watching George Carlin and learning from him?"

Nobody answered her. She then turned the TV off and took Lily into her arms. "How are you, Lily?"

"Piss!"

"I feel the same," answered Rita with a groan. "When I learn who did this then-"

"YOU FUCKING CUNTS I WILL RIP YOU TO SHREDS, ESPECIALLY THAT SISTER FUCKING N-WORD THERE!"

Rita's eyes opened in surprise, immediately recognizing the voice. "Lincoln?"

She ran up the stairs and encountered Leni, standing in the hall who was holding the Anti-Spider spray in her hands. "Leni?"

"There are totally no spiders here, right? I thought Lincoln was shouting "spiders" from the outside," explained Leni looking around nervously. "Like, I fear spiders so much mom."

"LET ME GO, I HAVE TO DESTROY ALL FOREIGN OUTSIDERS!"

"Oh, he totally meant outsiders," realized Leni with a sigh of relief. "But what is Linki's problem with foreigners now? Like, he almost sounds like-"

"QANON, IS RIGHT AND CLYDE IS PART OF IT! LOUDCEST IS THE ONLY WAY!"

"Like these people who are on the channel about the foxes."

Rita couldn't believe that Lincoln would say such things. "Leni, when did he start acting this way?"

"I don't know," reported Leni truthfully. "I only thought that I heard him screaming about "spiders" and then I hid under the blanket and let Lori deal with it."

Rita massaged her forehead. "Leni, come with me. We will go to the bottom of this."

"I think everything is okay with Lincoln's butt," commented Leni innocently "It looked fine to me the last time I saw it."

Rita swallowed down a sarcastic comment and avoided rolling her eyes. "Come with me Leni, please."

The two ladies entered Lincoln's room but he wasn't there. The cursing and other noises came from a completely different room, Lisa's room to be exact.

"Lincoln Loud, can you ex- WHAT IN THE HELL IS THIS?!"

What Rita was beholding right now was something she hadn't expected to see, today or at any other time of her live.

"Mother, what you see here I just a rational action in a rational environment," ensured Lisa who was standing at a console on the left side of a pentagram, concentrating on both and not looking over to her mother. It was not any kind console, it was a large and important looking one with more blinking lights, numbers, PC screens, coolant pipes, steam pipes and gears than Rita had ever seen before on a console. "A logical procedure."

Lincoln had been re-bound and re-gagged to a pillar which was a large tesla coil with a slightly smaller magic wands at the top of it. Painted on this one were runes, not Germanic, not Celtic, not Norse ones but from a language Rita didn't know. Around the tesla coil was a pentagram painted on the ground, filled with even more symbols, but those were easier to identify for the Loud mother. Some looked like demons, other like angels but with their actual true really scary and uncanny appearance as originally described in old scriptures and she was not able to identify the remaining symbols.

Around the pentagram were four more pillars placed. The pillar in the lower left was made out of steel, fitted with different scientific apparatus', the pillar on the lower right was one made of old wood, carved into it were more runes who described ancient magical incantations, the pillar on the upper left was made out of black obsidian, a complicated net of red-ley lines were on it and illuminating from the pillar and on the upper right was the last pillar, a holographic pillar, showing symbols like the Vitruvian Man, Euler's Identity, the blueprints for a space shuttle, a astrological chart of the universe, Plato's "The Republic" and Laozi's "Zhuangzi".

All four pillars were connected with the one in the middle via high-tech electric cables wrapped in papers full with magic runes which were brimming with magical- and electric energy.

"I know this may look like a bit excessive but that Demon from the Internet is really difficult to get out of Lincoln," explained Lucy as she saw Rita's surprised, shocked and worried expression while the goth herself stood on the right side of the pentagram. Lucy herself was dressed like a warlock in a black cloak with silver embroideries of mystical objects and many trinket hanging from this cloth while she herself was holding her crystal ball to channel magic in one hand and the arcane book by Abraham von Worms in the other. Lucy explained: "This will either get rid of the demon or kill Lincoln."

This was enough for Rita. "WHAT IN THE HOLY AND UNHOLY FUCK OF ALL FUCKS IS GOING ON?!"

"Exorcism," said Lori, nervous but because of the exorcism and not the wrath of her mother. "It is necessary."

Lynn Sr. then stepped to the side of his wife. "I should explain what is going on before you blow a fuse."

"YOU BETTER FUCKING… You better freaking do that."

"Too late for PG cursing mom," said Lana. "Too late."

---

After hearing the story of Lincoln going crazy because a racist-homophobic-pro incest Internet Demon took possession of Lincoln Rita would have not believed it. If Lincoln hadn't been able to spit out the different gags the family put into his mouth again and again to shout things like "Oh fuck it all looks terrible", "Self-insert N-Word lover", "since when did Luigi become a N-Word", "Suna is Sick. Sick and wrong", "twist Sam is actually a guy and hides being so to fool the faggots", "Luaggie is Fucking disgusting" and "How sweet, Maggie's mom has just agreed to pay for her to go to conversion camp" Rita wouldn't believe the truth but the proof was too tight.

"Uuuh…" Rita mumbled as her eyes moved from Lynn Sr, to her daughters, the friends present, and finally ending on Lincoln. She was simply unable to come up with a reaction that was fitting for the scene that was before her, as well as the story that they had told her.

"YOU SEE THE SHEER WRONGNESS OF THIS, MOTHER?!" Lincoln uttered, his red eyes suddenly fixing on Rita Loud.

She did not reply, simply staring at her son dumbfounded.

"AFTER ALL, YOU SHOULD BE THE ONE MOST AWARE OF WHY THESE SHIPS ARE LITERAL DOGSHIT. IN FACT, EVEN YOU CONSTITUTE A BETTER SHIP THAN CLYNN WOULD EVER BE-"

Rita decided to tune out whatever else her son was saying, to suppress any possible scenarios and images in her mind before they could even start to form.

"Okay, okay, I am convinced, he needs something powerful to get that thing out of his head," she said while shaking her head and ignoring the vivid arguments Lincoln was presenting concerning the obvious. "What's the next step of the plan now?"

"Simple enough, parental unit," Lisa concluded. "We execute the ritual. This is our latest attempt, but I'm positive that this time we'll manage to free our brother from the ugly grasp of… Whatever has taken him under its control."

"With Lisa's scientific power and the knowledge of the dark arts from Lucy, this really should work!" Lynn Sr. added. "Well… at least I hope this works. I don't think we can just slap the wrongness out of him, so I just have to believe in my daughters."

"Your trust is not ill-placed, dad," Lucy said trying to assure her father. She was right besides Lisa, but her interest in the console she was fiddling with was limited. Rather, she was holding in her hand the same book she had first brought to the room hours earlier, and more ancient papers Rita had no idea her daughter was even in the possession of were placed on a nearby stool. "We'll banish the internet demon from the dark depths of 8Chan it has come from!"

"Or kill our beloved brother in the process."

"Lisa, you are not helping!" Lori chastised her second youngest sister.

"All options should be considered," Lisa reminded Lori before she shrugged. "In any case, I want to ask you all to take your positions!"

"Wait… Positions?" Rita said, sounding even more confused.

"Apparently, we all have to share our psychic power for this undertaking to work out, honey," her husband explained, motioning for her to grab his hand. "Come on kids, wife, friends of the family: All together now!"

Eventually, the family and their friends and to some of them lovers made a circle that was just enough big to contain the entire ritual setup, beyond the four pillars. Lincoln hadn't stopped insulting them with every possible vulgar term and slur he could extract from the English vocabulary, but they didn't listen to him anyway. Clyde, Lynn, Maggie, Luan, Sam, Luna, Lola, Lana, Leni, Lori, Lynn Sr. and finally Rita with Lily in her hands, all of them were there in this setup for an arcane ritual.

Lucy nodded and made a hand sign. "It is time!"

Lisa gave a glance over to Lincoln. "This might hurt. I am sorry, elder brother."

"GO FUCK YOURSELF, YOU GAY-LOVING ROUND-EARTHER BRAT!"

"Maybe I am not that sorry," Lisa deadpanned in response. She placed a hand on a nearby lever. "I will go and hit the lever in three seconds. You know what to do, Lucy!

Lincoln started to shout and shriek, loudly talking about other obscenities, but once Lisa started her countdown, he realized that the family members and friends were not listening to him any longer. So, he switched to vomiting, but he wasn't able to do that for too long as Lisa pushed the lever up while she announced: 'three!'

The machinery whirred to life as electrical discharges went through the wires that started from Lisa's console and reached the central coil, turning into four signals that went for the four pillars each.

As soon as the pillars were touched, their colours and lights became bright enough to lit up the entire room, nearby hallway and even the outside through the window.

Lincoln's hair bolted up, but he did not scream, nor shriek, nor shout. Rita, initially worried about this, was gobsmacked to discover that her son was somehow invulnerable to electroshock. "How is he…?"

"That's what Lisa and Lucy discovered. That doesn't do anything by itself," Lynn Sr. explained his wife. "Once Lucy starts…"

Lucy started to speak in a language Rita could not understand or even knew the origin of. The magic wands on top of the coil that Lincoln was bound to suddenly started to emit bright red sparks, and the pillars started to become active. The science pillar emitted machine computation sounds, the rune pillar generated its carved symbols into floating runes that hovered around and filled the room, the obsidian pillar started pulsating with red energy and the holographic pillar, surprisingly enough, started to chant and echo Lucy's own words.

Even the pentagram around the central coil started to lit up It all was coming together.
And when Lincoln stated to scream, all the occupants of the room knew it was working.

"It- could- work!" Lisa couldn't help shouting when she saw as finally, the ritual was having an effect on Lincoln.

In fact, it started having even more of an effect, as in the blink of a moment, Lisa's room ceased to exist.

"Wha-aaaaaat…?!" the Louds collectively shouted as the room was substituted with pure black- only the floor didn't disappear immediately.

"What's going on?" Rita cried out in shocked surprise.

"Hold your horses!" Lisa said. "Lucy predicted this could have happened! Now it happened"

"Well, explain what is going on then!" Rita bellowed. "We're floating in the middle of-!"

She was going to say nowhere, but actually, there was no more nowhere.

The Louds stood on the floor of Lisa's room-the only part of the house that hadn't vanished into the ether. The rest of the house, as well as the neighbourhood, was gone, replaced by an empty space that went on for miles ahead. The sky as well as the abyss below were a mixture of grey and black, filled with what appeared to look like hovering text boxes full of words and sentences that were intelligible from the distance the Louds were standing at.

Lucy stopped chanting and gazed at the ritual set up. Everything was still standing where it was before, however, everything electrical was also turned off. Electricity seemed to have been cut off from the coils and the pillars and there was no magical energy resonating in the air and the wands. Essentially, everything was without power.

What was most surprising, though, was Lincoln himself. The sight of her brother took her aback… She had seen him in constant (and loud) turmoil for most of the day, so seeing him sleepy and somewhat peaceful was quite the sight.

"Lincoln!" Lucy cried, then abandoned her station at the console, leaving the ritual books behind. Her call alerted the rest of the family as well, who along with the three family friends, hurried too and around Lincoln.

"Lincoln, are you okay?"

"Wake up, Linky!"

"C'mon, rise and shine, bro!"

Lynn and Clyde where the first ones who actually tried to touch him and shake him awake. Lynn was particularly energetic. "Come on, get a hold on yourself and-"

"GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF ME YOU TRAITOR!"

The family jumped back with surprise, but Lynn remained where she was, only retracting her hand. She had noticed that Lincoln had not actually moved his mouth to talk. He still looked asleep, but the voice did come from him.

Before she could question the weirdness of this, she saw a mist coming out of Lincoln's mouth. It went out quickly, gathering above his head. Lynn walked back, suddenly feeling like she'd rather keep her distance from whatever was happening.

The mist became denser and denser, and with surprise speed it took the shape of a… Being. A being which turned towards the Louds almost as soon as it had a discernible face.

The being in question that formed out of the mist was not like most people expect a demon to be. The demon turned out to be surprisingly normal looking. Not a nerd with thick glasses, nor an obsessed fat fan but a normal looking Caucasian teenager. He was so normal looking it bordered on boredom when one would look at him.
He wore a plain brown T-shirt and plain brown trousers, his eyes were normal green in color and size, the nose ordinary, the brown hair was short and mundane, the mouth was standard, the chin of average size, width and length, the ears were as any other ears and the neck was also of normal length.

"Is that the demon?" asked a confused Lynn. "I thought they would have giant claws, sharp large teeth, large leathery red skin, weapons too large for humans to carry, impressive wings and be extremely muscular."

"Among other things," added Lucy. "Demons can have a variety of forms. Some a very subtle"

"Does that include looking like a piece of white Styrofoam?" asked Sam. "I know of the term "white bread" but this is ridiculous."

"Hello," said the normal looking boy with a normal voice. "My name is Hechizado, the Perfect."

"You don't look so perfect to me," said Luan, unnerved by the appearance of this person. "To be honest you look pretty unusual. You look to normal. Extra Normal. So normal it should not be possible. You look like as if you came from a mold, a poster, a movie, a painting…. You sir, are exploding the rating for normality at this very Moment and until the end of time and also retroactively to the beginning of time. You look THAT normal."

"Bland, very bland," added Maggie. "Blander than a piece of white bread on a white plate, on a white table that was also bleached on a white floor full with snow, surrounded by blank white walls, with a ceiling which is white and bland as white stone with sediments of salt lines. So bland, even romantic comedies made by a bored director couldn't be more bland than you are."

"I do not care for the opinions of a carpet-muncher," said Hechizado in an absolute normal sounding voice as if that sentence was an absolute okay thing to say.

"She doesn't munch carpet, I shave," explained Luan with a sly smile and Maggie blushed hard. "Also, she is one more person that would rather munch my carpet than yours."

"Burn in hell for your sexual deviancies, Luan," said Hechizado without any malice in his tone. "You two have no place in this world."

"Hey, you raspberry tart, piss off," shouted Luna. "You were raised in the most terrible way, weren't you?"

"You have no place either," said Sam, putting her arms around Luna's shoulders in defiance. "People like you who dehumanize other people should keep their poisonous opinions to themselves instead of trying to poison other peoples with it."

"I will cut your throats in your sleep," said Hechizado casually. "And I will make sure you are aware of that when it happens. You will know that you received a deadly wound and that you can nothing do against that."

"Try to hurt any of them and I remove your kidneys through your noses," threatened Lynn Jr. and had to be restrained by Luna and Luan.

The incredible homophobic demon produced a tray of cookies out of thin air. "Would you like to eat one? For wincest only."

"Then I am glad that I lose in this category," said Clyde with a smirk. "I will stay with this sports-ace and will help Lincoln to get rid of you."

"Die, N-Word," said the bland looking dude friendly. "You have no place in this country."

"My ancestors were brought here against their will," said Clyde in a chilling voice. Nobody had expected that Clyde could sound that serious and cold. "If you have a problem with that then piss off to the dark and unholy Internet place where you have come from and blame long dead southern landowners!"

"Stay away from the Loudcest," the demon demanded in the most 50's sounding Caucasian tone he was able to muster. "Lincoln Loud has to marry Lynn Loud Jr. and then the rest of his sisters later."

"Bro, will not marry any of us," shouted Luna. "Stop buggering him, stop forcing him to…" Luna tilted her head to the side. "Are you bloody aware how perverted all of this is?!"

"Brother and sister can create superior human beings," said the strange normal demon. "Incest is the way to the superior human being."

"Not even I, with the worst grades of biology in this family, could believe this crap," rejected Lynn what the racist pro-incest demon just said. "I will never love my brother! In a romantic way that is."

"Same for us," said Luna and Luan simultaneously.

"Now get out, I want to munch on a carpet," demanded Maggie. "And then I and Luan will have some sex."

"Traitor," Hechizado whispered in a threatening tone.

"Excuse me?"

"TRAITORS! the thing repeated. "ALL OF YOU ARE TRAITORS, SUPPORTING THAT KIND OF SHIPS!"

Hechiado's knees sprouted horns

"Incest Inferior, Homosexuality Superior," retorted Luna with a voice as robotic as she was able to muster but also trying to sound like a older sound system. "You are a relic of old times, Hechizado."

"NO!"

Hechizado's nose became two unsymmetrical holes on a big fleshy lump in the middle of the guy's face.

"Keeping the bloodline strong with the same blood makes it weak," added Maggie. "Just think of all the royal bloodlines that declined because of all the cousins and siblings procreating with each other. These mighty royal families became weaker and weaker until they collapsed internally and externally because of all the inbreeding."

DIE FROM CHOLERA!

The hands of the demons changed as well, one hand became green with the fingers gotten different types of length while the right hand just became a mass of yellow pulsating orbs.

"You are an evil person for creating a human that can have many disabilities," criticized Luan then loudly. "I pity the result but I despise the parents or parent who made the decision to engage willfully in incest."

"YOUR PUNISMENT SHALL BE ETERNAL!"

The Elbows of the demon turned into the thrusters of rockets which were spewing red acid.

"No ethnicity is worse than others," said Clyde. "Some nations were just luckier with the leaders they got. And then the different nations have many children with each other then we will become a superior nation of people through diversity!"

The Body of the demon turned into a message board. Not a forum but what they were in the past. But this message board was full of homophobia, racism, xenophobia, pure blood argumentation and that the there is nothing wrong about how publishers treat video game developers.

"CENSORING BASTARDS, STOPPING INCEST IS CENSORING!"

"We censor nothing, we inform about the dangers of incest," clarified Lynn. "From all subjects in biology that somehow stayed with me: When two people with familiar DNA have a child together that child can suffer from bad health, the lifespan can be shorter, it decreases fertility, can lead to malformations on the human body of the child, can lead to psychological and mental damages for the child and it could look like Kevin Spacey."

The Face of the demon stayed normal. Nothing happened to the face it looked still like the face of a normal person. He doesn't even look angry, despite the angry screaming and the threats uttered with a booming sound.

"YOU ARE LYING, YOU HAVE NO PROOF, I WANT A SCIENTIFIC COUNTER-STUDY!"

"There is none, and there will never be one from a respectable source", shouted Lisa in a level of anger that surprised everybody else nearby. "No, real scientist would ever support incestuous relationships and especially inbreeding."

The left arm of the demon turned into lighting, the right arm into earth, the left leg into water and the right leg into fire.

"I WILL KILL YOU, YOU DISGUSTING N-WORD LOVING, CARPET-MUNCHING, WHINING, WEAK, LIBERAL, COMMUNIST, RADICAL, ARMS-BANNING, FAGGOTS!"

"You forgot "Vegetarian" governor," Luna said like an old Englishman.

The demon lunged at Luna in response and tried to punch her with his left arm of lighting. She was able to dodge it and in turn all attending Louds, Sam, Maggie and Clyde counter-attacked the demon.

The demon found itself overwhelmed at first. Even if the Louds and supporting companions were mere humans, the constant barrage from a total of about 13 people proved soon to be quite the unexpected challenge.

After all, what powers could do against a punch in the face? Especially his very normal-looking face?

Thus, he barreled back when Lynn Jr.'s knuckles connected with his cheek, sending him stumbling on the floor.

"Don't like the feel of this, huh?" Lynn taunted. "You should've thought twice before messing with my brother, with Clyde, and all of us, especially at once!"

The face of Hechizado remained like it was, perfectly neutral, despite the bruise Lynn's punch had left. When this abomination opened its mouth, though, the tone was one of madness.

"YOU JUST SIGNED YOUR OWN DEATH WARRANT!"

"Actually, that doesn't make sense, since that would mean-" Lisa started.

"AAAAAHHHH!" The demon charged forward towards the three couples and the Louds behind them, his shouting cutting Lisa's remark off. His adversaries braced themselves.

The Louds, confident through their number advantage and in the initial hit they manage to strike on the demon, were taken aback when the thing started fighting them off with inhuman speed and dexterity. His elemental limbs kicked and punched people left and right, voiding any attempt at an attack very fast.

Lynn's punches ended up only scraping earth lumps, water splashes sent multiple Louds tumbling on the floor, electrical bolts zapped the backs of Lori and Leni, who received various dozens of ampere worth of shocking electricity running through their spines. Before Luan could make a joke about it, her ponytail caught on fire and so did the sleeves of various garments of the Loud clan and the loved ones present as well.

Rita managed to catch Lily, who surprisingly looked to be having fun while observing the fight, before retreating safely away from Heichizado's rampage. Lynn Sr. soon approached her, patting his head repeatedly in an attempt to putt off the flames before they could turn his partial baldness into a full one.

"That thing fights like a truck!" Lynn Sr. exclaimed. "The kids are barely holding it off!"

"I don't think we can handle it…" Rita mused with worry as she saw Luna and Sam flying, thrown off by a water wave summoned by the demon.

"Perhaps, beating it isn't needed."

The two parents looked down to spot their genius daughter. Her hair was upright, making her look like an anime character, and part of her clothes were singed. A result from an electrical discharge shot from the metal support of her glasses and to the ground.

She then raised a hand confidently. "Don't fret, parental units. I am still functional, for t-the time being," she reassured them. "What I mean is that, indeed, this entity from hell, or a place far worse than it, used Lincoln as a vessel of sorts. Without him, he can't effectively get back to the real world and we may be able to banish it here."

"That does sound like a good idea, but then we need to get Lincoln free first!" Rita concluded.

Lisa nodded. Rita gave Lily to Lisa before the two parents rushed towards the ritual scene. The four pillars along with everything else were still standing, with Lincoln still tied up to the central pillar. Lynn Sr. and Rita caught up to him and started to undo the knots.

This didn't last long though. Rita heard someone scream and she turned around just to see Clyde running with an earth-golem chasing after him. Lynn also ran, though she was actually trying to reach the golem to take it down.

When she looked back towards the fight, she realized that Lynn and Clyde had effectively left an opening for the demon, who was right now looking at her.

The extremely neutral face opened its mouth again, and bellowed, "YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS!"

He extended a hand forward, the one which had turned into pulsing orbs, and the spheres shot away like artillery shells. Rita yelped but she and Lynn Sr. did not move, shielding Lincoln from the incoming barrage, but thankfully the orbs proved very imprecise and most of them just ended up exploding around them. The pillars around the three louds were taken down though, falling over as soon as the damage proved too much.

Lucy let one tear go down her cheek. "Goodbye, sweet ritual."

Once the mother and father realized they were still alive, Lynn Sr. and Rita resumed the process of freeing Lincoln's sleeping body from the pillar.

"GAAH!" the demon cursed his bad aim and then tried to rush at them, but Luan and Maggie blocked his path. Soon enough, he was surrounded by Louds & friends again.

"Buy them some time! Come on!" Lori's voice thundered, and the entire group rushed at him at once. Yet once again, Heichizado was able to fend them off, but it did keep him busy.

Seconds later, Lynn and Rita were running towards Lisa, Lincoln firmly in Rita's grasp. The sudden movements ended up shaking him so much, that he suddenly gave out a yawn.

"Waa… mom?" Lincoln said when she saw her mother's face. "I just had a terrible dream… where-"

He was silenced when his eyes caught sight of Lola and Lana, flying like rockets and leaving a smoking trail behind them.

"…Nevermind. I'm still dreaming."

"Now what, Lisa?" Lynn Sr. asked in a stressed out tone.

"Mmh," Lisa mused, caressing Lily's head in the process as if she was the cat of an evil mastermind. "Perhaps we should jump off the platform and see how that goes."

Rita and Lynn exchanged a quick look, then looked back to Lisa with deadpan expressions and shook their heads.

"That's not going to happen, Lisa."

She shrugged. "It was worth considering. Still, we need to cause this current reality to fold within itself and throw us out back into the house, our home, and leave that web demon behind in the process. Mhh… That's quite the conundrum…"

Maggie who got thrown by a fire punch of the demon in Lisa's direction and landed besides her had heard what she said. "Couldn't Lucy just use a spell to bring us home?"

"Magic is not that simple to use," Lisa explained. "Magic has to follow the scientific rules too, not to mention magic's own rules, and interdimensional travel is not easy for a magician as well."

Lucy who was throwing fireballs at the demon from a distance commented: "Also I need a lot of pieplants for that and I am not sure if I have enough for us all."

"Is there any substitute you could use?" asked Lisa. "Like sugar?"

Lucy shook her head. "No, sugar would turn us into bars of steel."

"...Perhaps I need to read those magic books myself," commented Lisa with a deadpan expression. "For now: I think I have an idea how to get out of here."

"What is your plan?" asked Leni who was send flying by a hook of the demon. "Like, I will totally help you."

A few feet farther away Luan was throwing water balloons at the extremely evil demon.

"I really should have filled some of these with holy water," mentioned Luan. "And why is none of us a theologian? Somebody who could bless these water balloons would be perfect right now."

"Religion is literally not this family's thing," Lori said casually while holding Hechizado in a leg-lock and was choking him. "I could download a bible on my smartphone, maybe some psalming will get him to surrender."

"Dude, I could do some Christian rock if I really had too," added Luna with a lot of reluctance in her voice while clubbing her axe onto the demons head. "But only if I really have too."

"CHRISTIAN ROCK IS WEAK!", screamed the demon and bit after the axe."

"I agree Dude," concurred Luna, dodging biting attacks by the demon.

"Luna, maybe we can weaken this asshole through making out?" suggested Sam.

"A weird suggestion but why not, it also makes weird sense in this weird situation," answered Luna and started to make out with Sam.

"ARGH! WRONG, WRONG YOU BESMIRCH THE BOND THAT SHOULD ONLY EXIST BETWEEN MAN AND WOMAN!" screamed the demon and kicked fire and water at the two, only concentrating on them right now. They dodged while this move of the demon gave Lynn an opening to kick against one of his knees hard. So hard it broke.

"UUUUUUAAAAAAARGH!"

The Demon tried to heal himself and get up again but the Louds and their friends attacked the now weakened demon together and with much more furor. But he quickly got his composure back again and used the power of earth and wind to blast the Louds and friends away from him.

"We hurt him!" shouted Lori. "Quick Luan, make out with Maggie!"

"I usually only make out with Luan when I want to," said Maggie. "But I make an exception here."

"I am not a love machine but I can I can make a lovely exception for my lovely emotional girl," said Luan followed by wiggling her eyebrows. "Ready for some fun kissing?"

"It is probably more fun than your jokes," teased Maggie and embraced Luan. "I love you."

"I love you too."

The ensuing kissing between the two threw the demon into another rage. "PERVERSION, NOTHING BUT PERVERSION!"

"I bet in secret you like to see that," accused Luan. "Usually, you would probably only attack homosexual males but here are none at the Moment."

Forgetting his cover as he is homing in on Luan and Maggie, he gets hit by a ray gun and a magic beam at the same time by Lisa and Lucy respectively.

"He has to become even more enraged," shouted Lori. "Luan is right, such guys are angrier about male homosexuality. The next best thing is a romantic relationship of two worlds.

"Let me Kiss you Lynn, I will kiss you like I wanted to kiss Lori in the past," promised Clyde, understanding the plan."

"That was the worst romantic thing you could have ever said tome," said Lynn with a sigh. "But I take it."

Lynn let up from attacking Hechizado and came closer to Clyde. Surprising for her she took Clyde into her arms but was tender doing so, yet also in charge. She gave Clyde a careful and tender kiss and he kissed her back carefully and tenderly as well.

Hechizado recovering from the double blast didn't like what he saw. He could at a good day tolerate lesbians but never could he tolerate:

"MIXED RACE ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP HAPPENING BEFORE MY EYES AGAIN! I WILL STOP THIS, EVEN IF IT MEANS MY DEATH!"

Using all the four elements at once a barrage of deadly attacks flew into the direction of the McBride and the sporty Loud.

"I hold tight Clyde," said Lynn. "I get us through this."

Lynn started to dodge the attacks in a surprisingly elegant manner for everybody who was watching. She was more known as a roughish sportswoman and not so much as an elegant one. Nobody expected her to dodge incoming attacks like this.

"HOLD STILL YOU MOST PERVERTED OF ALL CREATURES!" shouted the demon. "HOLD STILL AND DIE, RACE TRAITOR!"

While Hechizado was fully concentrated on the two Lucy and Lisa made their final preparations. One preparing a spell, the other handling some technical gadgets. Lana was helping Lisa as well, as a mechanic she knew how to work on certain types of computer hardware, at least to a degree.

"Lisa, the wires are placed," said Lana. "Do you get the contact signal?"

"I do indeed get the signal, good work Lana."

Lucy at the same time got support by Leni who was helping her with the ritual.

"Like if you pose like this you will look more mystical," advised Leni. "I wished I had the time to make you a totally fabulous witch costume for this ritual."

"Thank you," said Lucy honestly. "If I knew this would' happen, I would have asked you for a witch costume myself and a lot sooner."

"What do you prefer?" asked Leni. "Like would you want to wear a big large wizard hat with mystical objects hanging from it on threads?"

"That sounds cool, but can we flee first and imprison this demon back into the Booru?" asked Lucy.

"Of course," answered Leni while placing candles at the right places in the pentagram.

Hechizado was losing the battle. He might me an immortal demon but he wasn't a invincible one. "I WILL RATHER DIE THAN LET YOU CONTINUE YOUR PERVERTED WAYS!"

"Then die," said Lynn without any humor in her tone. "If you are so willing to kill us for what we are you don't deserve continued existence because you will never stop do what you do."

"We can't kill him," reminded Luna. "But we could imprison him into something he may not like."

Sam was looking around, but properly for the first time. Scanning the area for something that could help she saw pictures nearby to their location flying aroud.

"I see something that could be useful!" called Sam to Luna and ran towards the pictures. Looking at them closer many emotions hit her at once. Love, affections, disgust, hate, sadness, happiness and curiosity. These pictures were presenting mostly the Louds and sometimes their friends in many different art styles.
In many different situations.
A good chunk of them was of NSFW in nature.
And a good percentage of these NSFW pictures had incest as its central theme.

Sam almost threw up looking at this garbage but kept the contents of her stomach in the same and started to search for pictures to imprison this demon from the Internet. Of course, his gallery of favorites had only depraved stuff so she instinctively clicked on the name of Luna on the left side and saw many pictures of her girlfriend.
Looking for something specific she continued to search in the Luna tag.

---

Luan kissing Maggie before the eyes of the internet demon enraged him even more, made him attack more aggressively but also weakened his defense for a few well targeted attacks from the Comedienne and Emo.

"HOMOSEXUALITY IS DEMONIC!"

"You are gay?" said Luan in played surprise. "But you are in the closet I guess?"

"FAGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTS!"

With that scream he threw lighting at the two and they dodged it with some elegant and romantic dancing moves.

Hechizado found these movements only disgusting and morbid.

But it was a mistake on his part because somebody threw something at the back of his head. It wasn't anything that could hurt him but he wanted to know what had hit him so he turned around to investigate and almost instantly had to stop himself from vomiting.

It was a picture of Luna giving Sam an innocent kiss on the cheek. The demon immediately attacked it with everything he had.

The picture was vaporized on the spot, the ash getting washed away by a tsunami wave the demon summoned on the spot. He thought he was done after destroying that one…

Unfortunately, that was just an appetizer, and the demon suddenly found himself under a battering rain of pictures.

Most of the images featured either Sam and Luna, Luan and Maggie or Clyde and Lynn in affectionate situations, ranging from humorous to cute, from cuddles to kissing.

However, there were a few additional combinations which featured more as well. What all of them had in common was one thing; being the polar opposite of what the demon wanted.

"No! NOOO!" he started firing out flames from his hands, flame-thrower-style, in an attempt to burn the pictures. "YOU AIN'T GETTING AWAY WITH THIS! THE WEB WILL BE CLEANSED OF THIS BULLSHIT, AND SO WILL YOU!"

"I'm afraid there's more from where they're coming from, big guy!" Sam rebutted. She had opened what to the eye of the beholder looked like a portal, from which cute pictures of ships were coming out at a fast rate. Turns out that she just had to think like she was surfing the web, to make the process automatic in this dimension.

By now, Luna, Lynn, Clyde, Luan and Maggie having started to gather more and more of the pictures that were coming out of the portal and were throwing them at Hechizado.

And there were many more! Lori started helping out as well. "You are disgusting! Take this- oh my, this one's with me and boo-boo bear and it is beautiful! Can I keep it?"

The picture was pulled out of her hands and thrown at the demon, who immediately shot a lightning bolt at it, annihilating it instantly.

"Sorry, honey," Rita said, "but beating that thing and getting back home is more important right now! Come on, throw more pictures!"

"Keep it up! Do it like you're spamming on an internet forum or something!" Lynn Sr. shouted. Lola and Lana behind him nodded to each other and started lobbing images at Heichizado as well. Even Lily, firmly in Lynn Sr.'s grasp, picked a floating image that was nearby and threw it at the demon with a babble—thankfully she was too young to actually understand what was going on and thought everyone was just having fun.

Heichizado was losing track and had completely stopped fighting, spending every bit of energy destroying the images thrown at him. They noticed that he was slowing down a bit as well. It was working, and unlike earlier they could keep it up without any of the three couples risking getting singed by thunder bolts!

"We've almost gotten him, dudes!" Luna called out. "We just… We need a final blow!"

"That'll come from us! Guys, we're ready!"

That was Leni's voice. Looking at her, the family saw that with her assistance, Lucy and Lisa had managed to get the final contraption to completion, an expanded, turret version of the ray gun Lisa had used earlier. There was a canister above it, which looked eerie enough with the cryptic writings pasted on it—surely an addition from Lucy.

"This Gauss-grade, laser-sighted energy cannon is powered via whatever we put in the canister Lucy here prepared. It should be able to gather an energy type of our choice in a single blast powerful enough to banish that entity to oblivion!"

"Or ban it to oblivion! Since it's an internet demon! Ha, get it?!"

There was a collective groan; even Heichizado growled under the impact of the pun made by the comedienne.

"Less jokes and more throwing those pictures, Luan!" Maggie reprimanded. "And, are you sure that thing's gonna work, Lisa Loud?"

"We just need a talisman, a probe or some other object to provide the energy. And the energy should be something that counters that thing," Lisa explained.

It took her a second to analyse what she already had. "Those pictures should actually suffice! Bring them here!"

The others nodded to each other and split up. As Leni joined the group busy in keeping the demon at bay with cute internet fanart of ships that it couldn't tolerate, the six people who were the main causes behind his anger went back to Lisa and Lucy. Luan, Maggie, Luna, Sam, Lynn and Clyde had their hands full of fanarts at this point.

The canister however was pretty small.

"We need the most powerful shipping fanarts you can find," Lucy recited. "The ones most brimming with positive energy, of romantic emotion of the types this demonic beast despises."

They started to surf through the pages. Eventually Sam, Maggie and Clyde soon lifted up a trio of pictures. Each picture featured its holder kissing their current love interest, in a passionate depiction of the relationship.

"These should work!" Clyde pronounced. "Hopefully!"

Lucy nodded, took the pictures, and put them in the canister. Upon closing, she recited a spell for an incantation and the canister lighted up, the pictures within it disappearing.

"The laser turret is primed," Lisa confirmed as she saw a gauge filling in and up. "Now, help us aim that thing!"

They saw Lori and Leni flying above them, then landing on their backs, not knocked out of consciousness but definitely knocked out of the fight.

"QUICK!"

The six started to push the barrel, turning the turret. Once the weapon was looking in the correct direction, Lisa motioned for them to push the barrel up as well.

"You sure you aren't going to burn your skin with the heat once you fire this thing?" Luna wondered, looking with worry at her hands which were grabbing the barrel's metallic surface.

"This is pure 'shipping' energy, I reckon," Lucy explained. "It will only hurt those who are too far gone and stand in absolute opposition to it."

"THIS ENTIRE FANDOM MUST BE PURGED!"

"…and this demon from the internet is one of those people," Lucy deadpanned.

Lisa closed an eye and looked through the sight on the turret's barrel. "Hold it! This is the correct position; we got the internet creature in our sight!"

Heichizado by now had managed to knock away Lola and Lana as well. Lynn Sr. had retreated in order to bring Lily to safety, leaving Rita to face the demon alone. The pictures however were starting to get less and less effective even if Heichizado still hated them with a passion.

The demon walked up to Rita, who kept throwing fanarts and images, but the demon by now simply blasted them out of thin air before they could hit him. "You made a severe mistake thinking these shitty pieces of fanart could stop me. There is only a limited number of these type of ships out here that are correct, and these images ARE NOT IT!"

He raised an arm and the ground below Rita started to shake, making her lose her equilibrium and fall on her back. Heichizado grinned evilly.

"If you think my way is not the correct way concerning these ships, then THIS FAMILY NEEDS TO BE REVISED FROM TOP TO BOTTOM! AND I WILL BE THE ONE DOING IT!"

Heichizado prepared to blast her, but he caught something in the corner of his eye. He turned around and saw a giant gun pointed at him.

"Oh, poop," Lynn lamented.

The demon rushed at them. "YOU CAN'T DESTROY ME! I WILL SURVIVE! I WILL LAST ON!"

But something struck his head. It turned out to be another pile of pictures, which quickly fell to the ground, dispersed around him, and when he picked one up to look at, he was displeased.

It was a picture of Lincoln and Ronnie Annie being cute with each other. The other pictures also featured Lincoln, with his other love interests beyond Ronnie Annie as well, but that was not very important right now.

What mattered was that not a single one of these fanarts featured Loudcest. Unacceptable!

The demon looked up to see Lincoln standing before him, half-scared, half-determined, more pictures in his hands.

"DON'T YOU SEE, LINCOLN!?" the demon screamed. "THIS IS NOT THE CORRECT WAY OF LIFE FOR YOU, BUT THE RIGHT WAY IS MINE! JOIN BACK WITH ME! YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO SUBJUGATE YOURSELF TO THE WOKE!"

"T-There is no such thing as the 'woke' in this family!" Lincoln rebutted. "The only thing I know is that you are a bad guy and we don't want ANYTHING to do with the likes of you you! I don't WANT YOU!"

Heichizado chortled. "It doesn't matter! YOU DON'T GET A CHOICE!"

"Actually, we have a choice!"

He turned back to the ray gun. Lisa and Lucy were standing nearby, while Sam, Luna, Luan and Maggie were holding the barrel, aimed straight at the demonic enemy.

Lynn and Clyde were over the turret, sitting right above the trigger button.

"And we know what must be done!" the two of them cried together. They intertwined the fingers of one hand and then let the combine fist fall onto the trigger button.

The laser discharged its blast, and in an instant, it struck the demon. There was a cry of pain, followed by a deafening lament as the demon started disintegrating.

"NO! NO! THIS AIN'T RIGHT!" Heichizado growled and screamed in his last moments as a free internet user. "NOT THIS!"

"Yes this!" Lisa retorted. "Have fun being locked in a heaven of shipping fanart types that you hate!"

"We won't miss you," Lucy ended.

"NO! NOO! NOOO!"

It took a few seconds of more laments and attempts at summoning QAnon, but in the end, Heichizado had been vaporized.

"Wow, that surely was it... 'Cause he got blocked from the web! Haha!"

Everybody groaned at Luan. After groaning was done the family and the others quickly regrouped around the turret contraption.

"All right, all right… So it seems everybody's okay. Concerning that thing… He is gone, isn't he?" Luna questioned.

"I think he is," Sam confirmed. "I don't see him anywhere any more."

"Soooooo it's over! Thank goodness!" Lincoln sighed in relief. "I don't think I want to… Think again about anything that demon Hechizado was thinking about or about what happened today ever again."

"Okay: We managed to defeat that demon from the internet. Now though: How do we get back home?" Lynn Sr. asked.

Silence. After a few seconds, there was a collective reaction from most of the people present in the group.

"Uh-Oh."

"Are you telling me we're stuck here!?" Lola bellowed in a mix of anger and fear. "I'm not gonna die of old age in some sort of internet-dimension-based-whatmacallit thing!"

"Wait!" Lucy interrupted her rant before it could go on farther and further. "The only reason we got here was because of that demonic spirit. We kickstarted this thanks to the ritual I and Lisa carried out, but in the end everything only worked because of the demon and its powers' leading us to the plane of existence where he truly resided."

"In English, please?" Lori was not impressed.

Lucy sighed. "He's not here any more, so the magic that caused us to get here and stay here is not present any more as well. As such, we should be brought back into the house automatically."

"Well, then why didn't that happen already?!" Lola thundered.

There was a blink. The family members and people accompanying them were dazzled by the white light.

Once they managed to actually check they surroundings, they were back in Lisa's room, which also served as her lab. It was exactly as they felt it and looked the same as before, the only change pertaining the ritual setup, which was replaced by the turret gadget they had used to banish the demon.

"Well… I guess even the powers that be in the internet have a sense of humour. It was waiting for the perfect timing to get us back! Ba-dum-tshh!" Luan commented.

"…a bad sense of humour," Lori muttered.

---

Sometime later everyone was gathered in the living room to rest, calm down and to process that happened. What happened was something incredible, weird, disturbing but also worldview changing. They have seen and learned things no mortal has learned or seen before.

"Like this was totally strange," spoke up Leni all of the sudden. "Visiting the Internet looked so much more harmless in that show in which they delivered packages."

"And funnier," added Lori sarcastically. "We didn't even had the opportunity to shoot each other with finger lasers."

"I would have murdered for a light cycle race instead of this," said Luna. "Running around in cool neon would have been so much preferable than fighting a demon obsessed with incest-shipping our family, not to mention all the Incest pictures of us…"

"I agree," Lisa said, joining the other's dislike for this place of the Internet. "The idea of an 80's interpretation of Cyberspace is more fun than to see how other people want us romantically involved."

"I love to do shipping with "Vampires of Melancholia" a lot," Lucy admitted. "But I stay far away from the incest shipping in that fandom as well."

"Vampires of Melancholia has incest shippers as well?!" shouted Lori in exhausted exhaustion. "Whatever, that is literally the smallest problem right now. Also shipping is okay Lucy, just keep it healthy, legal and no trace of incest should be found in it."

Lori looked over to Lincoln who looked incredible depressed, disturbed and horrified. He had the appearance of somebody who just saw the Cosmic Horrors lurking in alternate dimensions. Or a person who had been forced to watch "Zachary Schnitters Judiary Union" all at once.

"Are you okay Lincoln?" Lola asked, and stepped closer to him. "Was the possession so bad?"

"Not the possession itself," said Lincoln in a highly distressed tone. "But what I saw during the possession…"

"Fighting us?" theorized Clyde. "It's fine you were possessed, it was not your fault. The racist things that came out of your mouth weren't your fault either. But only THIS time under THESE specific circumstances it can be excused, in the majority of other cases it is the fault of the person who spoke them," made Clyde absolutely clear.

"I mean…." Lincoln appeared more than alone. "I saw the Fanart Hechizado liked."

Rita didn't like where this was going. "And he liked…?"

"Loudcest," said Lincoln, starting to shake. "Loudcest, loudcest and more loudcest. It was horrible. Age difference didn't matter, nudity didn't matter, consent didn't matter, time and place didn't matter, style didn't matter, colors didn't matter, legality didn't matter…"

Rita embraced her only son, hugging him with all her love she had for him in her heart. "Oh, Lincoln…"

"We heard a bit but he saw too much," was Lucy's grim conclusion. "Our fandom is full of perverts."

"Like, putting the characters in sexual situations is the norm in most fandoms," mentioned Leni. "It is totally okay with two legally adult consenting characters who are not related by blood but incest and pedophilia are just wrong."

Lynn Sr. looked over in surprise to Leni. "How do you know all of this?"

"Fashion Fandom," Leni simply said. "There are shipping wars over Satin/Velour, discussions if orange or violet is the new black, fanfics about how Calvin Klein gets into a battle with Karl Lagerfeld, flame wars about underwear and the question if nudity will ever be accepted as clothing."

"How does pedophilia and incest come into-" started Luan to ask before stopping herself. "You know what, I don't want to know. I have enough of that stuff forever."

"I fear Lincoln literally needs a psychologist," said Lori, with pain in her voice. "Clyde, would Dr. Lopez be able to help?"

"Certainly," assured Clyde, looking with worry at Lincoln. "I give you her number and-"

"I think can help with that in a more expedient manner," interrupted Lisa, correcting her glasses. "I think it is possible for me to erase his memories about what Hechizado forced him to see."

"YES, PLEASE DO!" shouted Lincoln all of the sudden. "Especially the picture were all of you gave birth to my children at once!"

Absolute silence followed for a while.

"Lisa, can you remove the information that this picture exists from our minds as well?" asked Sam Sharp, sounding slightly desperate.

"And the information what it shows too," added Maggie quickly.

"Yes," that is easy," assured Lisa. "But it will be more complicated for Lincoln."

---

After quickly removing the knowledge of the existence of this picture and the explanation of what it was showing from the heads of family and friends it was Lincoln's turn. He lay sleeping in a comfortable chair with a metal sieve on his head. Placed on said head were electrodes, blinking lights and several different antennas.

"Okay, I think I have found what he saw," informed Lisa everyone while sitting at a computer. "Now I have to connect my brain with his to remove all the horrible things he saw."

Lisa places a helmet on her head similar to the one on Lincolns head, leans back in her own chair and activates it with a press of a button. The surrounding family members wondered how long this would take but Lisa woke up after one minute.

"Finished," Lisa informed everyone, with no small amount of pride. "I removed all the pictures and other unsavory stuff Hechizado showed him from his demented mind. Took me a few hours but while in Lincoln's brain the time passed slower on the outside, so it was only a minute for everyone else."

"Hooray!" shouted all the other sisters in unison. "All hail Lisa!"

"Good work Lisa," added Lynn Loud Sr.

"You are my little genius," praised Rita Lisa but then added worriedly: "But you seem… Disturbed."

"Problem is to delete only the disturbing parts from Lincoln's memory I had to see them myself," explained Lisa in a calm tone. "I need to delete my own memories now before I have an absolute breakdown and turn mad over what I saw."

"Can we help?" asked Lori before she realized something. "Wait, when one of us deletes the memories in your mind we would remember them and ourselves at the end and… Oh, dang it!"

"Do not worry," said Lisa with a calming tone in her voice. "I can program my Memory-Deleter to do this automatically. Just take Lincoln out of my contraption, put me in and click on "execute" but fast before I am forced to self-immolate my person."

---

The family waited as the machine processed the next batch of problematic-content-images and their removal. Lincoln was still asleep since his own treatment, and there was a collectively agreed decision on letting him do so, considering how much he had to go through this day already. He simply rested, safely tugged in Rita's arms.

Eventually a 'beep' came from the machine, and Lisa opened her eyes right after. The first thing she did after waking up was releasing a sigh of relief.

"That was a close one," she elaborated as she sat up in the chair, adjusting her glasses right after. "One additional moment spent with the… indescribable images in my mind, and I would've seriously considering reverting to my primal self. Or borrowing a firearm. Or other ways to put an end to my misery… You should understand the connotations by now."

"Right, right, you can end it there, Lisa…" Lynn Sr. deadpanned gloomily.

"The good thing is that we're all fine and we managed to clean up and destroy most of the things we ended up seeing and hearing today. I'd rather let us all live on without leftover trauma from battling an internet demon obsessed with our family in, uh, unhealthy ways," Rita stated. A shiver went down her spine at the thought of what Hechizado wanted, but luckily no images came along to accompany the thought.

Thank goodness for her daughter's genius.

"So… the images and whatever they contained are gone, but… We still know about that stuff… Being a thing?" Lori questioned. "How is that literally any better?"

"It is better. Now that we have no such images to associate to those concepts in our heads anymore, we aren't going to be haunted by them at the most inconvenient of moments," Lucy replied.

"Correct. Most importantly however, I believe that remembering about today's events is going to be most vital for the times ahead," Lisa added.

"Wait… you mean this might happen again?!" Lynn shouted in terror.

She was immediately shushed, but it was too late. Lincoln scratched his eyes, now distracted from his deep slumber. Upon noticing he was awake, Rita let him stand up onto his own legs as he was ready.

"You okay, sweetie?" she asked.

"I… think so," he replied. The, Lincoln's eyes widened in realization. "I-It worked!"

"That's good to hear, bro," Luna said with accompanied with a big smile. "Thank luck for Lisa's memory machine…"

"Indeed. And, as I was saying, the machine deliberately selected only the things that were the most disturbing images and the such- but left us with the knowledge of the concepts. I don't believe… Well, and I don't hope, that another Heichizado is going to come after us anytime soon," Lisa glanced at Lynn, who passed a hand over her forehead after hearing that.

"However: let's just agree that it's probably better to keep these concepts in mind, than to be taken aback by them yet again."

"And besides, like," Leni reasoned, "there's no way we'd let weirdos like that demon from the internet control any us like that again or anyone like him. As far as those ships are concerned, who we end up with will be our choices, not theirs!"

"More so, when their own choices are… Debatable, to say the least," Lisa noted with a grim expression.

"Or creepy," Lola added in disgust.

"And besides, we already got plenty of choices beyond the weird ones! I mean," Luna gestured towards Sam. "We got our own examples right here! And this is a good one, a great one I tell you!"

Sam's cheeks heated up a little after she heard that observation.

"Heh, I would give Maggie a kiss, if that buffoon was still around, to anger that a-hole and just to prove your point, sis," Luan chuckled. Maggie simply huffed at the remark, though she did don a small smile as well afterwards. "But yeah, we can certainly pick better ships than… Whatever that thing wanted of us."

"And let's be honest: It's not as if we don't like this already. In fact…" Lynn grinned mischievously at him and before Clyde could react, he found himself being given a noogie by his girlfriend. "We can have plenty of fun without any of that nonsense! See?"

"Hey, HEY, there's another way to show you're happy, Lynn, I thought we agreed on this!" Clyde was laughing despite his protests in reality, but Lynn just kept giving him that noogie harder in response. Around them, the rest of the family and guests simply smiled or chuckled at the couple.

Lincoln in particular felt very much relieved. For some reason, he thought he perceived this scene as amusing, yes, but actually he saw it also as far more… Heartwarming, than he would've felt in the past.

Perhaps it was just an effect of being free of Heichizado's influence and his unspeakable obsessions, as well as the even more unspeakable images associated with the guy. Or perhaps he was just happy for his sister and his friend. Or both.

He just hoped that the majority of the internet would be a little better in understanding what was right and what was wrong, concerning the love life of his family or healthy relationships in general.

END

---

BarleyCup: Everything's well that ends well... sort of.
Hatoralo: The Louds and the love interests of some of them had to go through a lot, but it was a necessary step considering the tricky situation they were in.
BarleyCup: The villain in this story, as you can imagine, isn't just evil considering that it clearly represents something that comes straight from a portion of the fandom.
Hatoralo: In fact, most of the racist and homophobic comments Lincoln made while being under mind control have been lifted from the Loudbooru. (Which got closed down in the meantime most likely because of all the pedophilia, incest, the racist remarks and the homophobic slurs)BarleyCup: Which means that yeah, this story is kinda a parody but actually we didn't have to invent that much on our own. Reality gave us plenty of material to work with.
Hatoralo: Loudcest always existed in the fandom, but sometimes people can get quite... excessively obsessed about it, let alone defending it.
BarleyCup: I mean, for me, some ships could still act as interesting storytelling tools for dark stories. But there's a difference between writing two adult people in an incestuous relationship which is depicted with clear realism about the consequences, and saying that two underage siblings should be together because it's the best case for 'em as if it's the most normal thing.
Hatoralo: And even so, seeing so much hate for an innocent ship like Clynn, with people actually seeing the Loudcest alternative as a better choice... Well, that is sure weird, and led me to come up with this story.
BarleyCup: And me with helping out with the writing itself. Took a while, but in the end we managed to get this one done, eventually.
Hatoralo: Hopefully the message managed to get across, and you liked the story itself, too.