AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is an AU- an AU in which Amy has an adopted child in the form of one of my OCs (and likewise for the Billions). Might not make the most sense- but I'm tired. Just wanted you to be aware of that fact- in case you didn't read the tags. Now, let's let the story begin.
Sockie hadn't exactly had the best night, to say the least.
For starters, he'd had a pretty bad argument with his best friend, Zill. A tall, studious, and reserved Newton Wolf who'd signed on to go on some dumb nature walk. Sure he'd be with other wolves and could hold his own- and the wolf had a passion for botany and plant life- but it was another thing entirely for Sockie to, well… have him embark into the woods. Into the woods with some other studious folk, where there was potential danger around every corner!
The anxious rat would fidget with his hands just thinking about it. Even if his worry was mainly irrational, it persisted. He ended up begging Zill not to go, and one thing led to another… before Sockie really registered what happened, he and the wolf had gotten into a fight. Nothing they couldn't recover from, of course… at least, he HOPED… but it certainly did a number on the rat's flimsy mood.
And that's not even mentioning his dismal shift at Ratland. It would've been okay, if not for one of the rides breaking down and his inability to fix it. Sockie prided himself on being Ratland's fix-it guy… and yet, he couldn't fix a simple carousel. Of course, once he got some assistance from other staffers, the solution became apparent. But, still, the perceived humiliation stung.
Amy took notice and allowed her son to end his shift a little early. Sent him off with a little bit of cotton candy, too, in an attempt to raise his spirits. Still, Sockie sulked off, cotton candy in hand as Amy would watch the rat plod off in gloom. Concern wasn't lost on Amy, and she knew that something was wrong. Ratland would be closing for the night soon enough… and she figured, at her earliest chance, she'd check on her son. Try and see what was up.
Sockie makes his way to a hill- snagging a pretty decent view of the park from a distance. He'd notice a few twigs strewn about under a large tree, opting to sit under it and begin grouping together the sticks. No real purpose in mind; more so something to get his mind off everything. He needed some sort of distraction. Sockie would keep himself occupied for a while- and as the park slowly emptied out, the lights dimming down as their respective rides were shut down for the night- it began feeling just a little more peaceful.
Still, Sockie couldn't shake the heavy feeling in the pit of his stomach. It felt inescapable, the rat was wracked by his inner turmoil.
"Hard night?"
And suddenly… there was Amy. Sockie was caught off guard and didn't quite know what to say.
And then she slowly, carefully, walked up to him and sat down beside him under the tree. As peppy as she usually was, she seemed a lot more... raw. No peppy park persona- it's just his mom.
She spoke again. "What're you doing?"
"Counting pinecones," Sockie responds.
"... how many pinecones are there?"
"Thirteen. Well, maybe fourteen, there's one hidden behind that bush, kind of, and I can't quite tell."
"Interesting. Interesting."
"I like pinecones. I like counting them. They're so... I dunno. They give me this serene feeling."
"Oooh, 'serene'. That's a new word."
"Yeah. A 'friend' of mine taught me it. It's, uh... it means-"
"'Calm'?"
"Yeah. Calm. Which I, uhhh... I'm working on that right now."
"I can see that."
"Mmm…" Sockie awkwardly shifts- averting his gaze from Amy now. "... yeah. Hey, look, Mom... I'll be fine. You don't have to come up and... you know... I'll be okay."
Of course, Amy wouldn't have it. She knew whatever it was, something was eating away at Sockie. Amy wanted to be sure that he was okay… she knew she'd be a bit prying here, but she had to know for sure. She wanted to get to the bottom of all this. "Sockie, you know you can talk to me about anything. What's on your mind?"
"... stuff."
"Sockie..." Amy's tone was equally curious and sympathetic.
"It's just... lots of stuff. Messy stuff."
"Messy stuff?"
"Yeah. Like... well. Let's just say, hypothetically. Hypothetically... imagine your best friend is leaving you. For weeks. On some dangerous plant study that's, like, miles away. Sure, they'll be on a path, and there'll be teachers protecting them but... you never know. A-And then you end up getting in a fight with that friend because you're just so pathetic. So pathetic that you can't bear to uncling from them for a LITTLE while, just because you're so worried. And then you try to do the one thing that you're good at, your job, and you utterly fail at that, too. So-"
Noting her son's getting all worked up, Amy makes an attempt to diffuse the situation "Woah. Hang on... Sockie, you didn't fail at anything..."
"... So once you'd totally and utterly made a fool out of yourself, you come to sit at this tree to- to just, to contemplate on how horrible you are. And you begin thinking 'why am I even here? 'Why am I always the dead weight'? And then people tell you that you aren't, but the thing is that you really begin to feel-"
"Ron. I need you to look at me for a second."
"..." She'd used his name. Sockie's proper name. She'd dropped the nickname- something she didn't tend to do much- and immediately the younger rat realized she meant business. "I…"
Amy raised a hand to silence him. "Never say that again. You are not a horrible person, and there's absolutely a reason you're here. Nobody thinks you're pathetic. In fact... you're one of the strongest mutes I know. You're- you've... just trust me. You mean a lot to some people."
"Zill doesn't count." Sockie protested. "I'm on his bad list right now anyway, and he's gonna hate me forever."
"I doubt that."
"Maybe I should just... go hide somewhere else, and, I dunno. Just be a ball and chain somewhere else."
"Sockie, you are FAR from a ball and chain. In fact... well..." The motherly rat would lean in a little, wiping a tear rolling down her son's cheek. "Here's a question. Did I... did I ever tell you about... you know. The day I found you?"
"... I know of it."
"But I never told you ABOUT it, did I?"
"... No, I... I guess not."
"Well... maybe it's time."
With that, Sockie fell silent.
"It was... it wasn't a very pleasant day at first, I'll tell you that much. You know about... Brad, right? You know what happened to some of our old employees."
"I do. I do know about that."
"As you could likely guess, I... I wasn't in the best state of mind. I was paranoid, I was mournful. That flaming spark that we- Brad and I- had nurtured for years was dying out. Sure, we established peace with the humans. And that was great! But... we lost a lot in order to accomplish that goal."
"... I know."
"There was a period of time before it all ended... that I gave up on the idealism Kipo had. That humans and mutes could co-exist. But eventually, well... that philosophy was shattered."
"That sounds good..."
"And it was. But I was still sad. I was sad because I'd lost my best friend. I was sad because I had to soldier through the rest of... well, forever, without that someone who made me happy." Amy would grasp the grass at her paws- squeezing it. A silent response to the recall of trauma. To the recall of great loss.
"Not to mention the staffers that got cured…"
"I know. And I'm really sorry, mom, it... it sounds really difficult."
"Healing is a process. And I was stagnant. I knew I should've been feeling better, but... I kept smiling, and I kept thinking positive, and nothing else was clicking. I wanted to be happy. Why couldn't I be happy?"
The inquiry left Sockie nonplussed. "Well... why couldn't you?"
"There was, metaphorically speaking, a massive hole in my heart. And I was prepared to give in to the negative feelings that that hole had caused. And... I did. For a few days. I smiled, and went through the motions- Ratland was booming with success! But I wasn't having much fun."
Hollow happiness; a term that Sockie hadn't thought to apply to Amy. It made sense, of course- what with his mother having to cope with the trauma and aftermath of lost comrades. But she'd always seemed so strong, so unwaveringly optimistic in the face of adversity. She'd always seemed strong to him- to imagine her emotional state decaying on the inside was both a painful- and almost perplexing thought.
"I was trying so hard to just be happy. And I couldn't do it. I couldn't bring myself to do it. One day, I... I decided to just drive for a little bit. I didn't know where I was going. I'd be back at Ratland eventually, but my thought process at the time was... just to clear my head."
"Where'd you drive?"
"Well... there were lots of flowers. Lots of tall grass. I must've driven for... for hours to get there, of course. A couple of hours. I was really... yeah." Amy took a shaky breath. Sockie would scoot a little closer to her- he felt it was important to be there for support. It only felt fair, of course- after all, Amy was only reliving these memories because of Sockie…
"Oh, jeez." Sockie mumbles. Both at the story, and just thinking about how painful this must've been.
"And I was driving, windows cranked down, and... I heard something. And I thought to myself 'was one of those flowers crying'? And at first, I kind of figured it was the old mind playing tricks on me. But, as it turned out... no. It wasn't."
Sockie was confused- for about a second. "Crying flower? Wait, was it-"
"You, Sockie. You were inside that flower. All by yourself, with... with no one to care for you. And you were crying, and... gosh, you just looked miserable. Malnourished. I took you off the petals and called out for anything, anyone, to come out of the brush and account for you. But... as we found out... you... well-"
"I was orphaned. We don't need to tiptoe around it." Sockie sighs in annoyance.
"Mhm. I... I decided to care for you, just till... you know, just until SOMEONE came for you. I didn't have a lot of resources to care for a baby rat. Hardly any milk, no crib or bed, nothing like that. I had to drive hours to get back, and... well, a lot of the other mutes helped me. Funnily, enough, Billions actually let me borrow some of the Newton Wolves' books. To, uh, read to you."
"Interesting..."
Amy's face would steadily light up and she'd slowly tear up as she continued with her monologue. "And caring for you, while difficult, while it certainly had its strains... a part of me felt almost relieved. Almost... a little bit whole again. Y'know? I'm- I'm not sure if it was how happy you'd get when I read you that moon story. Or when I'd watch you play with one of the toys, but... I grew attached to you, Sockie. I did. And eventually, those few days became weeks. And of course, I, uhhh... kinda had to give you a name, so..."
"Ronald was the one you chose."
"Yeah, exactly. And... truth be told, I think just... having you. Being able to care for you, to protect you, the reassurance of having someone to help. Being in a situation where I could nurture you to health, where love and affection were integral, it- it brought that happiness, that compassion, back for me, Sockie." Amy wiped her own tears- making a valiant effort to remain composed.
"It... did?"
"Absolutely. Sockie- Ronald... you have no idea. You have no idea how much your presence in my life has helped me. Improved me." Sockie was rendered speechless.
"And you know... eventually, I could smile again. I realized it when you were around two. We were going on that slow teacup ride, the one for the kiddies. And... we were just laughing, and you kept pointing to the teacups and saying 'mommy! mommy! Tea party! tea parrrty!'"
Amy was chuckling- through the tears welling up in her eyes made her laughter appear mirthless. Genuine joy shone through, though, by virtue of her body language. She'd loosened up a little- she'd sat up a little taller- and kept glancing at Sockie. A mixture of heartache and unfiltered happiness was apparent.
"Y-You always had this thing, where whenever you saw a cup of ANY kind, you'd point at it and say 'tea cup'! Sippy cups? Baby bottles? Normal bottles? They were all 'teacups' to you!"
"That does sound a little familiar, I guess…"
"Sorry, I'm rambling. But Sockie, but the point here is... well. I know that there will be some rough patches. Life will not be all teacups and river rides and rainbows. But... BUT. There's always some light in those dark places. And there's always room to get better, there's always an opportunity to get better!" Amy finished off with the haymaker, placing her paws on Sockie's shoulders and looking him dead in the eyes. Her soulful, encouraging gaze pierced through Sockie's lingering apprehension. "And I know you can do it."
A new batch of tears welled up in Sockie's eyes, as he'd silently ponder what he'd been told. Amy hugged Sockie- holding the rat in a warm, loving embrace. An embrace- putting on display the mother's love for her son.
"You are my pride, joy, and happiness, Ronald. You're my everything. You're my son. And you're Zill's best friend. And you're practically Billions's honorary nephew. And you're an integral employee at Ratland. But most of all, you're no burden. You're important to so many people, and you've blossomed into a beautiful person. An amazing person. Don't ever think that you aren't, okay?"
Swallowing the lump in his throat, Sockie musters up a timid half-smile and an appropriate response. His voice trembled, but he was resolute. "Okay."
"Would you like me to leave you alone now?" Amy stands up fully willing to respect her son's wishes if he wanted to be left to ponder by his lonesome.
"... I think... I think I want to go home."
"Well, alright. Let's... let's go, Ron." With that- Amy, wrapping an arm around Sockie and holding him close- guided him slowly down the hill. The stars overhead would twinkle in the fresh night. A night with a peaceful, serene sky that reflected Sockie's newly found inner peace.