It was the smell that sent her stomach rolling. Burnt flesh.

Adrenaline was flowing as Olivia, Amanda, Fin, and Velasco approached the warehouse behind the SWAT team. The Organized Crime team followed suit. They moved swiftly through garage doors of the freight dock as several shots were fired between SWAT and the perpetrators they've been hunting all week. When the "all clear" resounded, the SVU and OC teams went searching through every cargo bin and finally found the group of trafficked girls crammed inside one of the steel containers.

As they were walking the girls out, wrapping them in blankets, they passed an area with a table full of blood, skin, and hair. Power tools were laying nearby. Likely the spot where the trafficking gang tortured those who dared to cross them.

Olivia stopped in her tracks and felt her stomach lurch. "Liv, you alright?" Amanda asked gently, placing a hand on her shoulder. Fin turned quickly, sensing the urgency and dread in the air. He ushered Velasco and the other detectives to continue escorting the victims to safety as he slowly approached Olivia, who now squeezed her eyes shut and was taking shallow breaths.

"Just breathe in deep and let's keep walking," he mutters at a low volume, but Elliot still hears it. Elliot is still guiding one of the girls but doesn't take his eyes off of Olivia and her colleagues. Olivia quickly nods her head and continues forward, a sigh of relief escaping her as she hits the cold Manhattan air outside.

Elliot thinks about approaching her, asking if she's alright, but Fin and Amanda seem content after she gives them a nod to say "I'm fine."

There was still a lot of paperwork and red tape to get through until their day was done, but finally around 9pm, the two units decide they deserve a drink after the nightmarish, but successful day they've all had.

Spirits were both light and solemn. There was talk about the case, stories about past takedowns, and low stakes chats catching up on personal lives.

Olivia had switched from wine to water a short while ago. Although Noah was at a sleepover, she had to wake up early and pick him up for dance practice. Fin and Amanda sat across from her. Elliot casually slipped next to her with Ayanna next to him. Velasco was playing pool with the other OC guys.

It was going well until mentions of the case started to resurface. Olivia found herself zoning out. Thinking of those poor girls, and then… the smell. The anniversary is coming up soon. Although it's been almost 10 years, the flashbacks always seem to get worse in May.

Without thinking, she grabs the glass of clear liquid in front of her and takes a large gulp, thinking it's water. The sting in the back of her throat hits her like a freight train, and she can taste the vodka coating her entire mouth. Suddenly she can't breathe.

Fin and Amanda are talking as Elliot notices Olivia's demeanor change. Panic sets in her eyes. He eyes grow wide as he asks "Liv you okay?" with a sense of urgency. Fin and Amanda quickly turn their attention to their captain who is staring at the glass in front of her with, hands bracing the edge of the table, mouth open as if trying to gasp for air.

Her heart is beating so loudly in her chest, she's sure everyone can hear it. "Can't.." she sucks in a shaky air "breathe…" Elliot places a hand on her shoulder "What's wrong?" She points to his vodka soda on the table in front of them.

Amanda reaches over, picks up the drink, and smells it. "Vodka" she says with a knowing solemn look to Fin. "Let me get some water," Fin says as he discretely rushes to the bar. Olivia starts to push her way off the hightop stool and tries to shrug Elliot off of her but it's half assed. She can't focus on anything but getting out of there.

Just as she gets her feet firmly planted, Fin is to her rescue with a cup of water. After she takes a few gulps and deep breaths, Amanda is next to her with her purse. "Do you wanna get outta here?" she asks. Olivia nods and slowly grabs her coat. Her head is still fuzzy from holding her breath. Any fast movement and she may pass out. Elliot is still at her side, dumbfounded and concerned.

As the group turns in the direction of the door, Elliot gently says "hey, my car is right out front, why don't I drive you home?"

Amanda starts to speak in protest, but Fin nudges her. Elliot has no idea what just happened and why. They always wondered if Elliot knew about what happened in May 2013. Was he abroad? Did he hear about it later? Why didn't he ever reach out? Surely Cragen tried to get in touch with him.

And if he didn't know… is this how he's going to find out? Is Olivia ready for all this? After the two episodes she had today? Amanda has doubts. She always silently resented Stabler for not being there. After hearing whispers of the twelve-year partnership, she couldn't imagine an excuse for not being there.

But Fin seemed to think Olivia could make the decision on her own, even in this state. She looked up at Elliot and nodded, composing herself as if nothing happened. As they head out the door and bid their goodbyes, Fin whispers in Elliot's ear "don't push it" and he knows what he means.

Elliot and Olivia were never good at talking, especially about trauma. They were both pushy and unforgiving, but what about this new Olivia? He had no idea how to navigate her. And clearly, he's missing something that's been bothering her all day. Something Fin and Amanda know that he doesn't.

Once they get in the car, Olivia breathes a sigh of relief and rests her head on the window. Elliot decides to go with a safe topic. "Is Noah waiting up for you?" Relieved by the change in topic, Olivia gets more comfortable in her seat, lifts her head, and looks out the window. "No, he's at a sleepover, but we have dance class in the morning." He gives a light smile in response.

As she looks around, she notices a blue tarp in the back seat. Oh God. She remembers hiding. Praying the young officer sees her. And then wishing he had never stopped them at all. Elliot notices as she squints her eyes at the memory. He's about to ask what's wrong but thinks better of it.

As they ride down the dimly lit street, Elliot turns the knob to the radio up. It's some old showtune playing in a commercial.

"Every morning, every evening… ain't we got fun.."

The world is starting to spin on itself. Olivia can feel it. She's in the car with him. She's in the car with William Lewis.

She can still taste the vodka on her breath. She can feel the blue tarp crinkle around her. She's dizzy and drunk and high and … thirsty. So thirsty. There's a small voice telling her none of this is real, but she feels it. All of it. The fear, the exhaustion, the sweat.

Her breath quickens into shallow desperate attempts to calm herself. And then the dam opens…

"STOP THE CAR!" Olivia shouts with one hand already opening the passenger side door. Elliot hadn't seen it coming. "Woah, holy shit Olivia hold on!" He tries to grab her arm so she doesn't roll out into the road and he quickly pulls onto the shoulder and throws the car in park.

"Get OFF me!" she grunts and she pulls her arm away violently and runs two steps at a time to the bench and trashcan a few yards ahead. Elliot quickly kills the engine and runs up behind her.

It feels like the world is collapsing on itself. Her lungs are being squeezed by some invisible force. She's drenched in sweat, now taking insanely deep and rugged breaths. She reaches the trashcan and grips it with white knuckles. She heaves everything in her stomach.

Elliot thinks about holding her hair back, but reconsiders. Instead, he gives her a second to finish emptying her stomach. Her breaths seem to slow a little, but they are still deep gasps. She wipes her mouth with her sleeve and lets out an involuntary sob.

Once panic starts to dwindle, it's replaced with anger. Anger that Lewis still has a hold on her. Anger that she's showing how vulnerable she is. Anger that HE WASN'T THERE.

Elliot reaches a hand to her shoulder, "Do you need…" but she abruptly cuts him off and slaps his hand away. "Don't touch me," she looks dead in his eyes, "I don't need anything from you."

He feels like he's just been slapped across the face. "What… where is this coming from?" She almost feels bad for a second. His baby blue eyes shimmer with the threat of tears. He's so scared and concerned, and she almost regrets lashing out at him… almost.

But she wants him to hurt like she did. Waiting for him to answer her calls in those first weeks. Waiting for him to call after being on the news for 4 days. Or show up during the trial. Or when the beast broke out. She would've taken anything.

But not now. Now she wants HIM to feel that pain.

She turns to walk away she says, "You weren't there for me then, and I sure as hell don't need you now". She begins to walk briskly, but of course, he is not far behind her.

"Liv, what is going on? You're not making any sense!" he says, grabbing her elbow. She spins around and pushes his chest with both hands with enough force for him to stumble back a few steps. "I said DON'T. FUCKING. TOUCH ME" she screams at the top of her lungs. Thank God no people were around.

She's got a maddening look in her eyes. Like a predator who just cornered her prey. Taking menacing steps towards him she seethes, "I don't need your protection, I've been doing it myself for the past 10 years." The word protection came with a pound of contempt weighing It down. "Do you think the world just stopped when you left? Did you think you were so important that you'd come back it's like it was? While you were forgetting I ever existed in Italy, we all survived without you, Elliot! So why are you up my ass NOW? Why give a shit about me TODAY? It's not like you did any other day for the last 10 years"

Elliot straightens up and puffs his chest out slightly, as if it's a shield that's going to help buffer these emotional blows. "Look, I know you're angry with me…"

"ANGRY?!" she says loudly with a laugh that makes him squirm. She is officially unhinged, her voice raising an octave.

"Will you just talk to me?" he urges before she lands another blow. "TALK? Since when do you want to talk? You just wanna act like nothing happened and like all is forgiven so you don't have to face that fact that YOU HURT ME Elliot. In ways you don't even realize! And it takes me having a goddamn breakdown for you to even ask!"

A tear falls down his cheek. "Oh, poor Elliot is crying," she mocks him by pouting like a child. Her tears have been free flowing on her face for a few minutes now. Mascara smearing slightly.

He looks at her incredulously. She's not okay. He knows that. He knows she's lashing out, and maybe she does mean some of it, but he knows the real Olivia would never act this way.

"What do you want from me? Besides to leave you alone because there's no way I'm leaving you like this," he says.

She chuckles again. "Has that stopped you before?" She's smiling, and it's scary. He knows he's in deep shit and has no idea how to navigate it. This new Olivia has a lot of pain, and a lot of power.

He squares his shoulders, "Alright let me have it then. Yell at me. Hit me. I don't care. Do what you've gotta do so we can move on."

He isn't going to fight her. So she has one last punch. The energy between them simmers down for a moment as she turns her back, hands in her pockets, adjusting her feet.

"Where were you…" she lifts her head to meet eyes, hers glassy and anticipating… scared of his answer "… in May 2013?".

It's such a direct question. He wasn't expecting that to be the next thing to come out of her mouth. But there seems to be a heavy implication to it. She looks scared.

"Um…" he looks up at the sky, thinking back. "I think I was in France. That was when we were traveling Europe for a year. Why?"

She considers it. "Same phone number?"

"No, changed it shortly after leaving New York"

She begins circling him. "What about your kids?"

"They came with us for the year. Why are you asking this?"

She stays quiet, twisting her mouth to one side, trying to fight the tear that slides down her face anyway.

"Liv?" he asks gently but keeps his distance.

She takes in a shaky breath, "You didn't know." It sounds like both a question and an answer.

"Know what?"

She steps closer and looks in his eyes, searching for any sign of deceit. She weighs telling him everything or continuing the torture by leaving him guessing. Then decides the knowledge of William Lewis might be torture enough. It's also something that HAS to be done at this point, if they are every going to move forward.

And she wants that. She wants so desperately to move forward with him. She would've given up on any other person by now, but she can't ignore this strange bond they have. And she needs closure, one way or the other.

Another deep breath out. "I was scared to ask you." She says as she moves to sit on the bench. He follows suit and slowly lowers himself next to her. Both of them are visibly shaking at this point.

"Why were you scared?" His eyes look into hers with genuine concern. And she just wants to swim in them for a while. Pretend they were always hers. Pretended like they never betrayed her.

She stares at her hands. "In May of 2013, we had one of those particularly gruesome cases. The perp got off. He had gotten away with so many things in the past. Even burned off his fingerprints." Elliot raised his eyebrows, still not knowing where this was going.

"It hit us all hard, but you know how some cases just get to you," she shook her head, still not making eye contact. He nods in response anyway.

"Cragen sent me home for a couple of days. I was dating Brian Cassidy at the time," she quickly looked up to gauge his reaction. Elliot gave an are-you-serious look, and Olivia chuckled lightly, "yeah, I know. But he had to work a double so I went home alone that night and uh…"

Elliot sensed her increasing anxiety. "He was there. Lewis."

"Lewis?" Elliot asked.

Olivia nodded, still staring at her hands. "William Lewis was the perp. He had a gun. He held me at my apartment for 2 days. Tied me to a chair. Forced liquor and Xanax down my throat. Used my keys to… to burn me"

The pieces were coming together. Elliot swallowed the biggest lump in his throat. "That's why I freaked out with the smell today. And with the vodka." She briefly looked up to see if he was understanding. She could see he was searching for words but couldn't find any. So she continued.

"He had me a total of four days," Elliot's mouth hung open slightly in reflexive shock. Still paralyzed with words. "I uh… I don't know if I'm ready to talk details but he kept me under a blue tarp," she says pointing to Elliot's car. "And he kept signing along to that stupid song," she almost looses it here. The sentence ended in a whimper.

Elliot carefully places a hand on her back, and she lets out a small sob. "I saw a lot of things, that I can't ever unsee. He killed a young cop who tried to help. He made me watch while he…" she couldn't finish the sentence. It was interrupted by hitches of breath.

He leaned in closer and held her a little tighter as she composed herself. Clearing her throat, "By day four it was just he and I in a beach house. I thought it was the end. I thought for sure I was going to die. I can still hear everything he said. 'Do you want me to cut your clothes or burn them off?'"

Elliot shuddered. "When I realized I was going to die, he knew."

"Knew what?" Elliot's voice croaked out.

"He knew I was thinking about someone I'd never see again. That I wished I could say goodbye to. He knew it wasn't Brian or anyone in my life currently. I don't know how he did that, but he could read exactly what I was thinking."

"And the person you were thinking about was…"

"You," she whispered. Elliot squeezed his eyes shut and tears fell down both cheeks. He was dreading that answer.

"I thought about you a lot. I thought about what would've happened if you were still my partner. Would you have noticed I was gone sooner? Would you have fought harder to get me back?"

Elliot felt a pit in his stomach as he surged with guilt. His face pale, like he was going to vomit this time.

"And when the eleventh hour came and he was going to rape me, I hit him with the metal post from the bed frame and handcuffed him."

Elliot breathes a subtle sigh of relief.

"And then it got tricky. I wanted him to suffer. I went back and forth over if I should call 911, make him suffer, or just shoot him right there. I wanted to call you so badly," she whispers. "You would've known what to do. You would've beat the bastard to death." Elliot nods. "So that's what I did… only he's a cockroach and managed to live after coding twice in the ambulance."

Elliot releases a ragged breath. Olivia is still in her trance, regurgitating the facts. "There was a trial, it was humiliating. I kept looking around corners, thinking you might show up. I though maybe you hadn't heard during the kidnapping but surely you would've heard by then."

She paused, but didn't dare look up. She had wanted to hurt him with the truth, but now she can't even face the pain she knows is on his face.

"Anyway, the trial was a shitshow but he was found guilty on kidnapping. Not guilty of my attempted raped," her voice cracked. She didn't want to say the words out loud but she also didn't want him to have to ask her if anything happened.

She shifts in her seat. Just when he thinks it's over… she continues, "And then he breaks out of prison…"

At this point she has to look up and confirm that yes, she did just say that. She looks forward, a slight improvement from looking into her lap. "He took a little girl and made me publicly admit to police brutality for beating him after he was already restrained. And then tried to"… she paused and gestured her hand. She still couldn't say it in front of him again. She sounded too much like a victim disclosing.

"attack me again. Said it was either me or the girl. He cuffed my arms to a table and tried, but I played opossum which I knew he wouldn't like. So he gave up on that," Elliot lets go a small sigh, "and made me play Russian Roulette instead."

"Oh God," he whispered as his stomach lurched. Will it ever end?

"Yeah" she whispered back. "I was supposed to lose. We went back and forth and on the third try, his was empty. The last one was mine. This was the second time, I really thought I was going to die. But he…" her breath hitched. "He knew he wasn't making it out of there so he shot himself and said "this is the last thing you're going to see before you die."

Here eyes darted back and forth. Elliot's mouth agape, staring at her. She started to hyperventilate as she turned to Elliot, tears in her eyes. "I put a gun to my head and pulled the trigger Elliot!" she said sobbing. He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her into a tight hug. "I'm so sorry" he cried. "I'm so sorry".

They rocked back and forth until both of them were out of tears and all that was left was exhaustion. "I'm not leaving you alone tonight, I don't care what you say."

Olivia let out a dry chuckle. "Okay. But I'm not getting back in that car for a while"

"Deal," he said as they began the walk to her apartment arm in arm. The proximity suddenly not so scary after their moment on the bench. She welcomed it now.

They end up in her bed, but not in any romantic sense. They've made a silent agreement to hold each other until the sun comes up. Olivia is able to get some sleep, but Elliot is not so lucky. His mind replaying the William Lewis saga over and over.

When her alarm goes off the go get Noah, Olivia starts getting ready and Elliot says he'll walk her out. Before reaching the door, he gently grabs her arms and embraces her. "I know you're sacred that I'm going to leave again, and I don't blame you." His eyes lock on hers, "But I PROMISE you Olivia, I'm not going anywhere. I want to be with you, in whatever way you'll let me," he brings her hands up to his lips and kisses her knuckles. "Please," he pleads.

Her eyes dart back and forth between his, and her jaw slacks. Never in her wildest dreams did she think Elliot Stabler would say those words to her. She fights the urge to cry and just nods. A tear slips out.

He pulls her in for a hug and kisses her forehead, and one of his own tears slip out too. Her hands come up to reach his neck, and she slowly pushed him back. He has a moment of anguish until he realizes she's pulling him back in and placing her lips on his own. It's soft and chaste.

When they part, they both have wide grins on their faces, excited to explore this new universe where it's always Stabler and Benson.