"Chiyo-chan! Chiyo-chan!"
The house had been almost completely quiet one evening as I finished straightening Pumpkin's quarters. Her and Hatsumomo had left for an engagement, and as usual, when that happened, the house was mostly quiet, especially as granny had long died. But the sound of Yoko, the woman who managed our telephone for engagements, screaming my name, had broken the silence.
"Chiyo-chan, there you are!" Yoko exclaimed, partially out of breath, as she found me in Pumpkin's room.
"What's wrong, Yoko?"
"The Ichiriki Teahouse! There is a party with an important patron happening now, but apparently several of the maids have fallen ill and they need any assistance they can get. The mistress called me to see if anyone was available and I said I would send you. As a favor to me, please Chiyo. I will owe you immensely. Any favor you should want."
I couldn't imagine what such a favor would be at the time. But I jumped at the opportunity to leave the house, as my life had become quite dull without my visits to Mikio.
The teahouse was buzzing when I arrived, with a group of men and women gathered and playing what appeared to be a drinking game. There was a man, short and round with a wispy beard, who seemed to be the center of attention, seated between two geisha. As I got closer, I was stunned to discover one of the geisha was none other than Mameha. Once I was standing before Mameha, I had temporarily forgotten why I had been there. Even after all the years that had passed, Mameha looked no different. I had forgotten how perfectly doll-like she was.
I didn't have time to stare. I hurried to find the teahouse mistress so I could find where I was needed. I was mostly busy assisting with cleaning and helping the kitchen staff keep everything running smoothly. However, I was determined to find a way to capture Mameha's attention. I wanted to go over to her and announce myself. "Mameha, you are the answer to my prayers," I imagined myself saying.
But I knew better. It would have been rude to interrupt her evening. Besides, I remembered a lesson I had once overheard Hatsumomo giving to Pumpkin once about never chasing after anyone, as it made you look desperate.
So I waited. I mostly stayed in the back, but every opportunity I could take to be in the main room where everything was happening, I took. I longed to be at the party, wishing I was the other geisha entertaining with Mameha. Every once in a while over the years, I had run an errand to a teahouse during a party and caught a glimpse of what was happening, but I had never been this close to one, for this long. I kept trying to discreetly look at Mameha, because she was so enchanting, and also because I was willing something - anything - to happen that would give me the chance to meet her. Once, I believed she and I caught eyes, and I thought she might be staring at me, but I quickly looked away, not wanting to seem rude.
Once while I was lost in thought, one of the men at the party came up to me as I was hurrying from the bathroom to the kitchen.
"I thought I knew every jewel in Gion!"
I turned around and realized it was the important man I had noticed before, a man I had kept hearing people call "Baron." He was clearly quite drunk and too close to me, his eyes looking hungrily up and down.
"Good heavens, I've had too much sake or those eyes of yours look like silver," he said.
"I have to go, excuse me sir." I bowed deeply to him and made my way back to the kitchen. Normally I wouldn't have run from someone so important, but he was so drunk I had guessed he wouldn't remember, and his presence had made me nervous. Besides, I had too much work to do in the kitchen, so much so that I didn't see Mameha again.
Later in the evening, when the party was dying down, I was resting in one of the corridors, tired and lost in thought, worried I had lost my opportunity, when I looked and saw Mameha standing over me.
"Will you show me to the washroom?"
I was surprised she even asked me. I was certain she knew where it was. But I was obliged to show her. We walked in silence until we arrived. I expected her to go in, but instead she stopped to look at me.
"What a lovely young woman. And I believe your face is familiar to me, but I can't place why…" she trailed off, staring at me with a creased brow. I was hoping after all these years she may have forgotten my face after what I had done to her kimono, but perhaps I was wrong.
"Which okiya do you work for?"
"The Nitta okiya, ma'am."
"Ah." Mameha slowly lifted her chin, her lips parting ever so slightly. It was a barely noticeable reaction, but it was enough to tell me that a lightbulb had likely just gone off in her head. She must remember now.
Mameha turned and went to the bathroom, and I stayed back, my stomach turning at the thought of her remembering me.
When she came out, she stopped again, still staring at me.
"What is your name?"
"Chiyo."
"It is good to make your acquaintance, Chiyo. And please forgive me for what I am about to do."
Here it is. Mameha remembers the ruined kimono and is going to punish me. I will be finished before I can start.
But instead she slowly reached to the top of her hair and removed her jeweled hummingbird hair ornament from her hair and handed it to me. I took it and placed it within my robes, too fascinated by what was happening to feel disgusted by it as I would with any other geisha.
"Tomorrow morning, tell Mother that you found my hair ornament from the party and must return it to me. Do not appear to be excited. I will be waiting."
"Yes, ma'am, I will."
She nodded to me, and we began walking back to the main room. I had so many questions, but I said nothing, and when we arrived back, she didn't even look at me before returning to the party.
The next morning, I went to the kitchen to alert Mother that I'd be returning Mameha's hair ornament. I had barely slept, I was so overjoyed, and took every ounce of self control I had not to dance through the okiya that morning. But I knew better, and remembered Mameha's instructions not to appear excited. I even had concocted a story, as if I just announced that I had Mameha's hair ornament, everyone - and especially Hatsumomo - would wonder why I had them.
I walked into the kitchen and found Mother, as well as Hatsumomo, Auntie and Pumpkin, and began my story.
"Mother, last night, at the party with Mameha and the Baron, Mameha left one of her hair ornaments and…the mistress gave it to me and asked me to return it."
I paused for dramatic effect, and continued.
"But I am so embarrassed over the incident with the kimono from all those years back, I couldn't possibly face Mameha. Hatsumomo, would you take it back for me instead?"
Of course Hatsumomo would do no such thing. Hatsumomo hated Mameha, and me, and would never do a favor for either of us, although even if she didn't hate us, she still was too self-absorbed to run an errand for anyone else. Her selfishness, and desire to see me humiliated, would be my cover.
"Little Chiyo, don't be ridiculous! Returning a disgusting hair ornament is a maid's job. Besides, I am sure Mameha will be quite happy to see you after all this time. Maybe she'll even let you finish your kimono artwork!" Hatsumomo laughed, more amused by herself than anyone else. Meanwhile, Auntie remained silent, Mother rolled her eyes at both of us and Pumpkin looked uncomfortable, as she always did when Hatsumomo was being casually cruel.
I feigned displeasure as best I could at Hatsumomo's insistence that I give back the ornament. I had become quite good at acting this far along, especially to avoid Hatsumomo's wrath. Any desire I felt, I was confident didn't show on my face. Instead, I configured my face to look like a mixture of embarrassment and confusion, and decided to keep acting for just a little longer.
"Hatsumomo, forgive me, but I don't think I can do such a thing. I have not seen Mameha since that time, and I am deeply ashamed." I wanted to go on but stopped myself; too much whining could make Hatsumomo suspicious, who was very good at figuring out things with little information. I put on my best acting show, even letting one tear fall from my eyes (I had much practice from crying to myself over the years).
"Oh no, little miss maid! I'm sure Mameha will be excited for your reunion. You'll have to tell me all about it!" The triumphant glee on her face told me she believed I would be miserable to take on this task. Beaming, Hatsumomo walked away certain she had pulled a trick on me.
"You heard her, Chiyo. Go take Mameha's hair ornament back to her before she sends someone over here to accuse us of stealing it," Mother instructed me, and I immediately departed the okiya, feeling more triumphant than I ever had.
I was so nervous when I arrived at Mameha's door, especially as I thought of that knowing look she had given me the previous night. Even eight years later, I was certain she'd remember me and what I had done to her kimono, and even without that humiliating history, I would have been nervous to be in front of someone with Mameha's prestige.
After knocking on the door, her maid, a woman I didn't recognize, ushered me into Mameha's apartment, its simple elegance befitting a woman of stature. I wondered what Hatsumomo's apartment would have looked like if she had one, and I imagined something messy, garish and hostile. But Mameha's looked befitting of a scholar; scrolls and works of art adorned the walls. I was curious but didn't let my eyes wander too much.
"What can I do for you, Chiyo?" I wondered why she was doing this, pretending like she didn't know why I was there, until I realized that this was a performance for her maid. It was understandable and clever - gossip flies fast and loose in Gion.
"I….have this for you." Mameha gestured to her maid, who took the wrapped hair clips from me. This should have been the end of our exchange, and I expected her maid to start walking me to the door. But no one moved; I, embarrassingly, couldn't stop staring at Mameha, and strangely she was returning my gaze, only with a curiosity, as though she were studying a piece of art. After what felt like too long, Mameha broke the silence.
"Why thank you, Chiyo. I had missed this," she continued, still performing for her maid. "Not for myself, but there is a certain patron who will be pleased to see me in them again." She nodded to her maid, who finally walked away, and I was relieved to have the privacy.
"I wonder how Hatsumomo felt, knowing you would be coming by here for the second time," Mameha said after her maid had left the room.
We both knew the answer to this question; Hatsumomo had been only too thrilled for me to have the chance to relive the humiliation from eight years ago. I lowered my head in shame immediately, as this was clearly Mameha's way of telling me that she remembered what I had done. I hadn't felt any guilt initially because I was too excited for the chance to see Mameha, but now I did.
"I am so sorry for ruining your kimono, ma'am. I hope you will forgive me." I lowered my body into the deepest bow I had ever performed. Expecting to be scolded, Mameha instead surprised me by walking towards me and gently lifting my chin with her fingers until we were looking at each other again.
"Chiyo-chan, I should be the sorry one, that a child has lived all these years with the guilt of being used by Hatsumomo for tricks."
The surprise must have shown on my face.
"Oh yes, I am aware of the truth. I still remember the terrified look on your face when you were at my door. I feared the worst may come to pass for you, living in that okiya, and it appears my predictions were correct."
I was speechless at this point. I had heard about Mameha's good-natured reputation, but experiencing it now was something else. I rarely experienced any kindness, and I felt my chest tighten as I tried to fight back a tear I knew was coming. I didn't like to be thought of as sensitive, but it was rare when someone with Mameha's influence showed a passing thought to anyone as lowly as me.
"Tell me Chiyo, why is a young woman as beautiful as you in maid's clothing?"
"I tried to run away many years ago. Now I am a maid for our Okiya." The shame I felt saying all that out loud punched me in my stomach, but I managed to stand back up and look in Mameha's eyes to show any level of strength I could find. "But that isn't what I want for my life."
Mameha's eyes widened and something that looked like the beginning of a smirk appeared on her face.
"And what do you want, Chiyo?'
"To be a great geisha of Gion."
The silence felt louder than any noise I had ever heard.
"Why?"
"Why what, ma'am?"
"Why do you want to be a great geisha, Chiyo? Or perhaps I should say, what do you really want? Rare is the woman who truly wants to be a geisha. What do you actually want from this, besides not being a maid?"
This question threw me off guard completely. It had never occurred to me that she'd ask such a thing - that any woman in Gion would want to be a geisha seemed to be a given.
Because she asked me on the spot, I had no time to think of a clever response in place of honesty.
"I…..many years ago after I failed at running away and was forced to become a maid, I saw a couple of geisha with a wealthy man on their way somewhere. I don't even know where they were going. They were just going. And I wanted to be that free. I believe being a geisha is the only way I can be free."
I wondered if this was the right response. Mameha's face gave away nothing. Finally, after another pause, she walked toward me slowly, never breaking eye contact. I could see that she was thinking, and expected her to start explaining to me all of the reasons why such a thing could never be, why I should never hope to be a geisha, and that I should leave and pretend we never met.
But instead she surprised me again.
"Come see me next week, Chiyo. We have much to discuss."