Jackson Army Space Port on Reach was a hive of constant activity, what with Pelicans and other types of ships constantly landing and taking flight bearing troops and cargo to Who-Knows-Where, while the ground was alive with vehicles, and people doing military stuff. I had just finished training, and was waiting in a line to get directions to my destination.

"Private White reporting for duty, sir," I said to the sergeant when I got to the front of the line, while also standing at attention.

"At ease, Private," replied the sergeant, who then held up his hands. "Orders?"

I passed an envelope to him, which he opened and read carefully.

"Your flight is in Row 14, column 22," Said the Sergeant eventually. "It takes off at 1445 hours. It is transporting one other Private, and cargo. Here is a map with the location circled. Got all that?"

"Yes sir," I replied swiftly.

"You're dismissed," said the sergeant dismissively.

I nodded and walked pass him into the spaceport proper.

While my flight was half a mile away, I managed to get there quickly, as I was wearing what seemed to be a normal human version of the Mjolnir armor, which everyone was wearing, even the sergeant. My armor's color was a dark gray, cause I preferred darker colors, and apparently it was my choice. I figured that this must be some sort of AU of the Halo verse, as I didn't remember normal people wearing armor like this in the games.

Given that there was only one other person being shipped out with me, I imagined that I was going to some sort of remote base that only needed a few people manning it. I was 20 and it was the 25th year of The Great War, the war between the UNSC and the Covenant. I knew that I was probably going to die in this war, but I wasn't too concerned, as I had died once before. Interestingly, once you've died once, death loses its mystery.

I arrived at the flight point to find the Pilot loading some boxes into the holding rack that was under the dorsal section of the ship.

"Private White reporting for duty, sir," I said when I entered the flight point, standing at attention.

"Private White?" asked the Pilot, turning around. "Oh, you're the other passenger. I don't out rank you, Private, so you may stand at ease."

"Thank you… um," I replied.

"Jones," the Pilot replied, "Call me Jones."

"Ok," I said, before gesturing at the tank. "Need help with the cargo?"

"Not really. Go ahead and get on board," Jones replied dismissively. "The other passenger is already there."

"Thanks, I will go introduce myself then," I said as I passed him.

Climbing on board the Pelican, I noticed the other passenger sitting in the passenger compartment, who happened to be wearing very blue armor.

"Hello," I said in a friendly manner, holding up my hand. "I'm Private William White, what's your name?"

He looked up at me, then shook my hand.

"Nice to meet you," He replied. "I'm Private Michael J. Caboose."

It was a good thing I was wearing my helmet, as it hid my shock. Wait, the Michael J. Caboose? Did that mean that I was in the Red Vs. Blue universe? Was I actually going to Blood Gulch? If so… well, at least that meant I… probably… wouldn't be dying anytime soon. Maybe. Possibly. Hopefully.

I sat down across from Caboose and a few minutes later Jones got onboard himself, and the pelican took off. Eventually we hooked up with another ship, and Caboose and I were lead to what looked like the Team Blue barracks, were we stayed for the duration of our trip. There were a few other blues there, but the barracks continually changed hands as Blues were dropped off and other Blues came on board.

Part of me was worried during the trip that I might not actually be going to Blood Gulch, that there was some other destination I was bound to, so I breathed a sigh of relief every day that Caboose wasn't taken away without me, while also feeling annoyed that I still had to put up with his inane chatter. Eventually, what seemed like only a few days after we had left Reach, Caboose and I were lead to a different Pelican, this time in a docking bay, where a different pilot was checking over a very old and beat up tank that was sitting under the dorsal section of the ship.

I took this as confirmation that yes, I was indeed going to Blood Gulch, and I breathed a sigh of relief. Thankfully, I knew what was coming, and knew who was going to be involved, so I'd be able to anticipate any moves people made before they made them. Survival seemed likely. A painful death, hopefully avoidable.

Caboose choose that moment to annoy the pilot with his inane chatter, so I took that as my cue to get on board. Eventually the pilot managed to convince Caboose to get on board himself and stop bothering them, so a moment later I was joined by him in the passenger compartment.

"Isn't this exciting? We're finally gonna be deployed!" Caboose said excitedly as he strapped himself in. "I wonder what our teammates will be like?"

"I bet the first thing they'll say to you is 'shut up'," I muttered under my breath.

"What?" Caboose asked curiously. "Didn't catch that."

"Uh, nothing," I shrugged nervously. "I hope they aren't full military type hardasses. I hate those kinds of people, they're always getting on my case about being lazy."

"Yeah, me too," Caboose agreed blithely.

He was prevented from speaking further by the pilot, who was finished loading up the tank, so now it was time to fly down to the planet. It was a short but bumpy trip, and as I looked out a nearby viewing port, I noticed that we seemed to be heading towards an island. Blood Gulch was on an island? Huh, go figure.

Eventually we arrived, landing a few short meters to the east of Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha, and the pilot promptly kicked us out and detached the tank with little fanfare. A few moments later, Church and Tucker came out of Blue Base and started admiring the tank, completely ignoring us.

After a few minutes of lingering silence, Caboose worked up the nerve to speak up: "So I say to the guy 'how are you gonna get the tank down to the planet?' and he goes, 'I'll just put it on the ship', and I go, 'if you got a ship that can carry a tank, why not just put guns on the ship and use it instead'-"

"Hey, kid," Tucker suddenly interrupted, turning to Caboose.

"Yeah?"

"You're ruining the moment. Shut up."

"Oh," said Caboose, a bit surprised. "Ok! You got it, man!"

"You know what?" said Church, in a tone of awe. "I could blow up the whole god damn world with this thing."

"Well, maybe not the whole world," I commented. "Perhaps a few small bits of it at a time."

"Kid," said Tucker, turning to me. "Ruining. The moment."

"Oh Right, sorry." I rolled my eyes.

They admired the tank some more, and the minutes dragged on. I was temped to make a point of checking my watch to see how they'd react, but then remembered that I didn't have one.

"You know what," Tucker eventually spoke up, turning to Church. "Forget what I said before. We can definitely pick up chicks in this thing. Probably two or three chicks apiece."

"Oh, man," Church groaned. "Listen to you. What are you going to do with two chicks?"

"Church, women are like Voltron," replied Tucker with an air of describing something to a child. "The more you can hook up, the better it gets."

"Somehow, I get the feeling that you don't know how female anatomy works," I commented wryly.

"Oh yeah?" asked Tucker. "How many chicks have you had?"

"Uh, Zero," I shrugged.

"Then what the fuck do you know about female anatomy?"

"A hell of a lot more than you, if you're comparing woman to Voltron," I replied sarcastically. "Nerd."

"Dick," Tucker muttered.

"So, yeah," Church spoke up a moment later. "I'll let you guys in on a little secret. I've, uh, I've actually got a girl back home."

"Oh yeah?" asked Tucker curiously. "Girlfriend or Wife?"

"No, man," replied Church casually, "She's just… my girlfriend. We were gonna get married, but I got shipped out and – – Ah, you know how it works."

"Oh, well, you gonna marry her when you get back?" asked Tucker.

"I'm not going to get married," Caboose suddenly interrupted. "My dad always said, 'why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?'."

"Hey rookie," said Church in an angry tone as he walked towards him. "Did you just call my girlfriend a cow?"

"No, I think he called her a slut!" said Tucker in a disbelieving tone.

"No, he said that his dad called your girlfriend a slut. Or cow," I corrected. "along with all other females in existence. You know, just to clarify."

"I'll tell you what, noob," Church growled angrily at Caboose. "I can sit out here and listen to you insult my girlfriend all day long, but as it turns out, I got a lot more important job for you to do."

"Great," Caboose replied morosely.

"See, we've got this General," Church started explaining.

"Right, the General guy," said Tucker, playing along.

"Who likes to come by and make random inspections of the bases," continued Church. "so what I'm going to have you do… is I'm going to have you go in the base and stand right next to the flag at attention, just in case he decides to come by."

"When is he coming by?" Caboose asked curiously.

"We never know," Tucker replied. "Could be today, could be weeks from now."

"You want me to stand at attention for a week?" asked Caboose in confusion.

"You know, you don't sound very grateful," said Church loftily. "This is the most important job at the whole base! You're going to be right there with the Flag!"

"What's so important about the Flag?" he asked dubiously.

"Oh, come on," said Church in exasperation. "Don't they teach you guys anything in training?"

"They didn't tell us anything about a flag," Caboose replied doubtfully. "Why is it so important?"

"Oh, you must have missed that class in basic," I replied cheerfully. "You see, the flag is the most important thing in the base because if we lose it, the Reds win."

"Win what?" asked Caboose. "What do they win?"

"Uh, the war, dumbass," said Tucker.

"Why do they win the war if they get our flag?"

"Because it's the flag, man," said Church exasperatedly. "You know, it's the—it's the Flag! It's— Tucker, you tell him why."

"Well, Its-" said Tucker uncertainly. "It's complicated. Its blue, we're blue-"

"It's just important, ok? Trust us." Church insisted. "So when the General stops by, the first thing he's going to do is want to do is inspect the Flag."

"Right," said Tucker.

"So, just go in there, you know, far away from us, and wait for him," said Church with a shooing motion of his hand.

Caboose turned and started walking down to the base, but when he got to the entry way he turned around.

"Uh, how will I know when I see him?" he called.

"There's only four of us out here, rookie," Tucker called back. "He's gonna be the guy that doesn't look like one of us."

"Now get in there, and don't come back out!" barked Church angrily, before turning to Tucker. "Man, that guy is dumber than you are."

"You mean he's dumber than you are," Tucker replied wryly.

"Wow, Tucker," Church replied in the most sarcastic voice he could manage. "Great come back."

They turned back to admiring the tank. After after a few seconds, Church turned to me.

"Ok, um… other Rookie," he said, perhaps grateful that I had helped him. "Whats your deal?"

"I'm Private William White," I replied. "I guess you can call me White."

"Ok… White," said Tucker. "You got anyone waiting for you at home?"

"Oh, you mean like… a significant other?" I asked curiously.

"Yeah, sure. Whatever floats your boat," Church shrugged.

"Well, I'd tell you, but…" I said hesitantly. "I think… I think that would violate the… uh… Don't Ask, Don't Tell… protocol."

"Wait, you're Gay?" asked Tucker in surprise.

"Um, yeah," I replied slowly. "For the record, you asked."

"Great," said Church, face palming. "So we're stuck with an idiot, and a fag."

"You got something against gay people?" I asked, a bit annoyed.

"Uh… no," Church backtracked quickly.

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Wait, if you're gay," said Tucker slowly. "Does that mean you're going to be talking about, like, Gay stuff?"

"What kind of Gay stuff?" I asked curiously.

"You know," he replied.

"No, I don't know,"

"You know, like, girly stuff," Tucker said with a hint of disgust.

"I'll tell you what," I replied in a serious tone. "If I ever start wearing pink armor, and talking about girly stuff… you have my permission to kill me."

"Really?" he asked in surprise.

I nodded seriously.

Tucker sighed in relief. "Oh good, that's a relief-"

"Uh, Mr. Church, sir?" yelled Caboose from the entrance to the base.

"Oh my god, WHAT?!" yelled Church back in anger. "Tucker, I swear, I'm going to kill him!"

"Sorry about calling your girl a slut," Caboose yelled back contritely.

"ROOKIE! SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP! YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY! GET IN THERE!"

Tucker and I laughed.

"Tucker, White, are you laughing at me?" asked Church when he turned around. We were prevented from answering by the arrival of Donut.

"Excuse me, sir? Can I ask you a question?" He asked Church.

"Dear. God. In Heaven, Rookie," Church stated with an air of finality. "If I turn around and you're not inside, I—I can't be held responsible for what I'm going to do to you!"

"What did I do?" asked Donut confusedly.

"One!"

"Oh, give me a break!"

"Two!"

"Fine!"

Donut turned around and ran into the base. I just managed to suppress a snicker.

"Ugg," sighed Church, before looking at Tucker. "Well, enough gabbing out of us. Let's take this bad boy out for a spin. Go ahead and hop in, Tucker."

"Me?" asked Tucker in surprise. "I can't drive that thing!"

"You're telling me you're not armor certified?" asked Church in shock.

"I don't even know how to use the fucking sniper rifle," Tucker replied confusedly. "Don't you know how to ride that?"

"No! Holy Crap, who is running this army?"

Tucker turned to me. "What about you, White?"

I shrugged. "I mean, I just got out of basic. We didn't exactly get to ride tanks around, there."

"Hey!" yelled Caboose from the entrance to the base. "Just wanted to let you know, the General stopped by, and picked up the Flag!"

"Yeah, OK! Whatever, moron!" Church yelled over his shoulder, before turning back to us. "Why would they give us a tank if nobody here knows how to drive the damn thing?"

Beat.

"Wait a second, what did he just say?"