Author's Note: Hello everybody! StarFalcon555 here, welcoming you to my brand new side project! This is the first of multiple one-shot side stories to my main PMD fic, Age of Shadows! These are essentially little intermission pieces that I'll be posting in between the wait for each chapter of AoS.
Reading AoS isn't exactly mandatory, but it is HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. This one-shot and the next one-shot I have planned specifically take place right after Chapter 11 (the most recently published chapter at the time of writing this) and the events of those chapters are referenced a bit, so it's better to read up to then for better context. Reading these one-shots also isn't mandatory to understand AoS. They're just bonus stories that are (mostly) disconnected from the plot at large. ;)
As with most one-shot collections, the content and warnings will change from chapter to chapter. I'll post a list of each one-shot's specific warnings in the first author's note, like I do below!
CW: Foul language, mentions of torture, murder, abuse, and cannibalism; discussions of eating pokemon
…That's a fun start, isn't it? Don't worry, it's fluffy, I swear :D Anyways, I think you guys are sick of hearing me ramble, so let's start this thing!
Scorch and Riptide were pissed.
This wasn't their usual flavor of pissed either. They had always been prone to letting their tempers get the best of them and lashing out as a result. It was one of the many reasons why they clicked so well. On their own, they would simply stew in their anger and let it bubble up inside of their bodies. Together, however, they could channel each other's anger, tempering it and increasing it to its fullest potency at the same time.
Right now, however, they were filled with a kind of anger that not even they could conduct. The anger was deeply personal, after all.
Klaw and Dewey, their sons, their heirs, whom they had hand raised from birth to be the perfect successors as enforcers for the Absolute Zero Syndicate, had escaped. All those sleepless nights with endless crying, fixing bottles and changing diapers, and the overall suffering of having to deal with children 24/7, were all for nothing!
But that wasn't even the worst part of it. The worst part of it was where their sons had ended up running away.
The Ironheart Guild. The sworn archenemy of the Absolute Zero Syndicate, and a particular pain in the ass for Scorch and Riptide. That blasted guildmaster was the only pokemon who had ever defeated the duo in combat, and it was probably the most embarrassing moment of their entire lives. They couldn't believe that their sons had betrayed them like this - becoming members of the one place that had dedicated themselves to standing up against the syndicate, and had the power to do so!
To add further insult to injury, Scorch and Riptide were unable to attempt to get their sons back. By law, they were unable to step foot in the no-good, overly happy town where the guild was located. The guild folk probably didn't want a repeat of the carnage the two enforcers had caused the last time they had stepped foot in town.
The memory of that time, when they had successfully slaughtered all of the shopkeepers, momentarily lightened Scorch and Riptide's moods. Those were the good days, before Klaw and Dewey were born and they were forced to dedicate their time to keeping something alive instead of wiping those lives away without mercy.
As if not being allowed into Honor Town wasn't enough, Polaris had sent the Pursuers to retrieve Klaw and Dewey. Oh, how Scorch and Riptide hated the Pursuers. Especially Crim. That busybug thought he was so much better than them, to the point that he thought he would make a much better enforcer for the syndicate. If it wasn't for his power-hungry glances, they would have never felt the need to have Klaw and Dewey, and they wouldn't be in this situation at all.
Now, all they could do was pace back and forth in front of the syndicate's main entrance, stewing in their anger as they did so. They were supposed to be "helping" Norman pack his things - after watching his parents and the three newbies whose names they couldn't remember die gory deaths right in front of him, the butler had become "fed up" with the syndicate and had resigned from his position. Polaris had not been happy about that in the slightest.
Scorch and Riptide, on the other hand, were completely fine with the indeedee's impending departure. They had never liked how Norman had coddled Klaw and Dewey and had always believed that he had been a bad influence on the boys, a softening hindrance towards their true destiny. Learning that Norman had been the mastermind behind their sons' escape had only validated their beliefs.
Honestly, Scorch and Riptide thought that Polaris should have made Norman choke on his blood along with the newbies. He deserved it for ruining all of their plans.
But in a rare moment of softness, the boss had chosen to let Norman walk off scot-free. The only way Scorch and Riptide could show their anger towards the traitor was to deliberately avoid helping him out.
All of a sudden, a voice rang out from behind Scorch and Riptide.
"Scorch! Riptide! What's got your tails knotted?"
Scorch and Riptide whirled around, the former's teeth bared and the latter's finger raised and ready to shoot, only to find that the source of the noise came from a gengar wearing a white bowler hat and matching tie.
"Casper." Scorch sighed. "How many times have we told you to stop following us around?"
Casper was a particularly annoying member of the syndicate. It was already bad enough that he was much more friendly than the average syndicate member, constantly trying to talk to and crack jokes with other members, but he also had the most obvious crush on both Scorch and Riptide. He was always complimenting them, creating increasingly ridiculous move combinations just to impress them, and generally spending a lot of his time trying to get as close to them as possible. Casper would always deny it when asked, but he was way too obvious.
It went without saying that Scorch and Riptide did not return Casper's feelings in the slightest. The term "soulmates" made them both want to gag, but there was no better term to describe what they were to each other. Ever since they had met, it had been them against the world, defying both those who denied their love and those who tried to stand up against their combined might. They were meant for each other and each other only. Casper's vomit-inducing personality was just the cherry on top of the sundae.
Casper blinked in surprise and threw his hands up in the air, blushing furiously as he did so. "N-no! I-i just heard the news about the boys, a-and I thought that I would try and cheer you guys up!"
"That sounds like you were following us." Riptide sneered, curling his lips backward in disgust.
For a few brief seconds, Casper's eyes darted down to the floor, and he started to tremble slightly. He recovered just as quickly, however, his eyes brightening and his Cheshire cat grin becoming even larger somehow. "Anyways, I've got the perfect thing to cheer you guys up!" He raised his left hand and snapped his fingers. Two small stubs of paper, surrounded in spectral energy, appeared out of thin air. "Ta-da!" he cheered, before flicking his fingers forward and sending the stubs flying towards Scorch and Riptide.
Scorch and Riptide yelped and tried to destroy the paper stubs - Scorch tried to slash his stub, and Riptide tried to fire a point-blank shot at his stub. However, this only succeeded in causing the spectral energy to dissipate, and the stubs to get caught in between Scorch and Riptide's fingers.
"What in the name of Giratina is this, Casper?!" Scorch snarled, he and his husband glaring at the pudgy purple ghost with pure anger in their eyes
Casper, however, didn't blink. "Well, you see, there's this swank new restaurant that opened up in Dolomite Town just a few days ago, and I've got a buddy there who was able to swipe some tickets just for you two!"
Scorch and Riptide narrowed their eyes at Casper. "What are you suggesting?" Riptide hissed.
Casper laughed, a very hearty and borderline friendly laugh that made Scorch and Riptide want to vomit. "I'm suggesting that you go on a date, of course!" he giggled. "Think about it. This is the first time in fourteen years that you don't have to deal with those little brats nipping at your heels every five seconds. Why not celebrate?"
Scorch and Riptide exchanged curious looks. As much as they hated to admit it, Casper made a good point for probably the first time in his entire life. It had been quite a while since they had gone on a proper date. Every time they would try to sneak out of the mansion and try to go on one, Norman would catch them and yell at them for "abandoning the boys". It was another one of the many reasons why Scorch and Riptide despised Norman. Sure, they dumped Klaw and Dewey on Norman every chance they got, especially in the early days when they were just born and therefore completely worthless to them. But could you blame them for that? Babies were just so infuriating.
There was one thing they had to confirm before they could accept the tickets, however.
"Are you trying to weasel yourself into this date?" Riptide sneered.
Casper almost tripped over his tail. "N-no!" he stammered, his eyes as round as saucers. "I just wanted to do something nice for you two to cheer you up! This is a hard time for you two, and I don't want to make it even worse by getting in the way."
"Are you being honest right now?" Scorch growled.
"I swear on all six of Giratina's limbs, everything that is coming out of my mouth right now is one hundred percent genuine." Casper pleaded.
Scorch and Riptide started at Casper, reveling in the fear and worry that was plastered all over his face. They knew exactly what their decision was going to be, but they wanted to make him squirm for a bit before they gave their answer.
After a few minutes of this, Scorch and Riptide exhaled. "Alright, Casper." Scorch muttered. "We will take you up on this… generous… offer of yours."
Casper tried to maintain his composure, but Scorch and Riptide could see how his eyes shone with glee and how his body trembled with excitement. It made them feel a strange mixture of satisfaction and nausea. "Awesome!" Casper cheered. "Now you guys better get going. The reservation's set for…" Casper looked down at his wrist and squinted. "...thirty minutes."
Scorch and Riptide's expressions quickly morphed into ones of shock and anger. "THIRTY MINUTES?!" they snarled simultaneously.
Casper jumped half a foot in the air. "T-that was the only time available!" he yelped. "A-and it took me forever to track you guys down!"
"What's the place called?" Scorch spat.
"I-it's called The Happy Primeape." Casper gulped. "As I said, it's in Dolomite Town. Right in between the bank and the movie theater- replaced that shitty ice cream parlor." His eyes shifted around nervously. "Y-you can still make it if you start right now!" he finished shakily.
Scorch and Riptide just looked at each other, rolled their eyes, and sighed. "Let's just get going, then," Riptide remarked. Scorch nodded in agreement, grabbing the handle of the door and twisting it open as he did so.
"W-wait!" Casper cried out, his face becoming warped with indignance. "Aren't you going to thank m-"
Unfortunately, his plea fell on deaf ears, as Scorch and Riptide simply glared at him as they stepped outside before slamming the door shut, leaving the poor gengar to stare forlornly at the door.
TWENTY MINUTES LATER…
"Been a long time since we've been to this town, hasn't it, tiger?" Riptide trilled.
"And to think, hot shot, that in all these years, it hasn't changed a bit." Scorch purred. "Still as tight-knit, cozy, and lame as ever."
Dolomite Town was indeed a very small and cozy town. All of the houses and establishments were made out of dark gray rock that had been harvested from the nearby quarry, and they were all sequestered closely together. The sun had just finished, so spherical lamps had been lit along the roads, their warm orange glow seeping into Scorch and Riptide's skin. They did have to admit that the atmosphere was quite romantic. Especially with all of the pokemon they passed by gasping in horror at the sight of them, scurrying back from the buildings they just came out of like scared little rattata.
After a few more minutes of walking, Scorch and Riptide came to a very small building sandwiched between two much larger buildings. The exterior had been painted cream and brown, and a wooden sign with the words "THE HAPPY PRIMEAPE" written on it was hung just underneath the roof of the building. A bright red ribbon dangled haplessly from the right doorknob, flapping ever so slightly in the dainty nighttime breeze. A logo was emblazoned on the door, depicting a primeape wearing a red chef's hat and apron with a cheeky grin flashing a thumbs up right in Scorch and Riptide's faces.
"I have the strongest urge to rip that primeape's stupid smile right off of it." Scorch growled. "Turn his face the same color as his apron and hat."
"You and I both, kitty. You and I both." Riptide crooned, cupping his hand underneath his husband's chin. Scorch blushed at the use of the cutesy nickname, his eyes suddenly becoming intensely focused on the red ribbon. Riptide giggled at how adorable his husband was acting before turning back to the building. "Now, let's go see if this place has enough show to back up all of Casper's big talk, shall we?"
Scorch nodded eagerly before grabbing the doorknob and twisting it open. He beckoned for his husband to enter ahead of him, and Riptide quickly obliged. As he walked in, Scorch took the rare opportunity that Riptide's temporary distraction provided to give him a quick peck on the cheek. Now it was Riptide's turn to blush, his face hot with emotion as he turned to gape at Scorch. Scorch simply chuckled and extended his large hand to his husband's. Riptide quickly recovered and clasped his thin hand in Scorch's, and the couple proceeded to walk into the restaurant hand in hand.
When looking at it from the outside, Scorch and Riptide had expected the place to be one of those disgustingly gaudy "family-style" restaurants that Klaw and Dewey always begged them to take them out to when they were very young, before the boys had learned that they didn't care about them in the slightest. They were pleasantly surprised to see, however, that it was instead closer to a slightly less fancy gastropub. The walls and floor were a warm coffee color, with the furniture made of splendidly dark wood. Candles and flowers had been placed in the center of each table, and all around them, Scorch and Riptide could see couples of all kinds, from those on their first dates to those that had been married for years now, chatting away or simply holding hands and gazing into each other's eyes.
Scorch and Riptide shared impressive looks. Maybe Casper knew what he was doing when he got these tickets after all.
"Hello, hello!" a deep, cheery voice rang out. "Welcome to The Happy Primeape! Do you have tic- HOLY MOTHER OF THE SWORDS OF JUSTICE!"
This was followed by the sound of an entire stack of menus being dropped to the floor, the thud it made reverberating on the floor.
Scorch and Riptide looked up to see the same primeape depicted in the logo – red chef's hat, red apron, and all – standing right in front of them, a large stack of menus at its feet. Its fur was puffed out in fear, making it look fluffier than it already was.
"Good evening, sir." Scorch greeted the primeape. "I assume you are the owner of this establishment?"
"Y-you're Scorch and Riptide." the primeape stammered, completely ignoring Scorch's greeting. "T-the deadliest pokemon on the entire continent." All of the activity in the restaurant had screeched to a halt, and all of the patrons were staring at Scorch and Riptide in sheer terror.
Riptide clapped his hands together. "How wonderful!" he crooned. "It seems that you are already familiar with us. Now, we would like a table for two, please and thank you."
"Y-you can't eat here! Y-you're a danger to the other patrons!" the primeape shrieked. Its face was turning bright red, and though it was trying its best to hide its anger, Scorch and Riptide could hear the ragged breaths of fury rattling in its lungs. "Y-you probably don't even have tickets!" it choked.
Scorch and Riptide immediately whipped out their tickets and pressed them into the primeape's open palms, causing its eyes to widen in shock.
"Tsk, tsk." Riptide sneered. "That was quite a baseless assumption you made just now. It's kind of hurtful." He pretended to look as offended as he possibly could.
"Now," Scorch hissed. "I'm only going to say this one more time. A table for two right this fucking second, or we're going to cook up some primeape brain stew in front of everyone in this Giratina-damned restaurant."
The restaurant fell into complete, deadly silence. The primeape just stood there, its eyes darting back and forth and its entire body vibrating. After a long pause, the primeape scooped up the menus in its arms, turned around, and scurried away, darting into a doorway close to the back of the restaurant and slamming the door.
"What a coward." Scorch scoffed before turning to his husband. "Now, what do you say we go find a table?" he asked sweetly.
Riptide nodded in agreement, and the couple started scanning the restaurant in search of the perfect table. As a bonus, they got to take in the fearful expressions of all the restaurant patrons, their terror more refreshing than any kind of drink.
It didn't take long before the pair found the ideal table – a corner table nestled snugly into a more dimly-lit edge of the restaurant, creating a perfect balance between the candlelight and the indoor light.
There was one small flaw with the table, however – it was already occupied. An oranguru wearing round-rimmed glasses and an mr. rime wearing a silver watch, both approximately in their early seventies, were sitting at the table, smiling and talking quietly while occasionally taking bites of their dinner.
Most pokemon would have been annoyed at this minor inconvenience. But Scorch and Riptide weren't like most other pokemon. They had power on their side. And with power, even the most minor of inconveniences could be solved in a matter of seconds.
So Scorch and Riptide stomped over to their desired table, reveling in the shocked gasps and whispers that erupted as they did so, and cleared their throats to get the old couple's attention.
The oranguru and the mr. rime dropped their forks to the table, shifting in their seats to make eye contact with Scorch and Riptide. "I-is there a p-problem, sirs?" the mr. rime croaked, his voice fragile.
"I believe that is our table you are currently sitting at." Riptide exhaled with annoyance.
"H-hold on now!" the oranguru cried out, his voice also fragile. He grabbed his species' trademark leaf fan and began waving it helplessly at Scorch and Riptide, his hand shaking as he did so. "Y-you can't just take our seats! You just got here, and we're still eating!"
The mr. rime, emboldened by his husband's show of bravery, followed suit, grabbing his ice cane and waving it at their harassers.
The two couples stared at each other for a few seconds. "...What are your names?" Scorch asked.
"I-I'm Albert," the oranguru shuddered. "A-and this is my husband Charlie," he continued, gesturing to the mr. rime, who meekly waved.
"Nice to meet you, Albert and Charlie." Riptide grumbled. "Now, we like you two, so we're going to go easy on you. You have two minutes to grab your things and leave this restaurant. Otherwise, we're going to have to take that table from you by force."
"W-wait a minute!" Charlie wailed, standing up from his seat and tapping over to Scorch and Riptide. "It's our fifty-fifth wedding anniversary today! You can't kick us out!"
"And we've had the worst day of our lives, and we need to take that anger out on someone, so I say we can." Riptide spat. "Now get out of this restaurant, or this will be the last wedding anniversary you two ever celebrate."
Albert and Charlie looked at each other with fear before grabbing their wallets and running as fast as their old, small, fragile legs could manage. Scorch, Riptide, and the rest of the restaurant patrons watched as they dashed for the door and flung it open with surprising strength for their ages. The door slammed shut, and they were gone.
"Well, that was more of a hassle than it should have been." Riptide sighed as he sat down at the table, pushing away Albert's abandoned meal - a banana curry with flatbread - with a glance of disgust.
"I like them, though. They're kind of like what I imagine us to be like when we get to that age." Scorch chuckled, taking his seat and also pushing away Charlie's abandoned meal of cauliflower gratin with a similar glance of disgust.
As the couple started to stretch their limbs, a voice echoed from behind them.
"For the love of Virizion, Kidd, I know you're getting excited about how much celebrity attraction the place is getting already, but this is goi- oh, fuck."
Scorch and Riptide turned around to see that the primeape had returned and was now walking towards them, two menus in its hands. It was now accompanied by a shiinotic and an alcremie, both decked out in the same red aprons.
"G-good evening, sirs." the primeape said. It was trying its best to sound as composed and formal as possible, but Scorch and Riptide could still detect the faintest hint of fear in its voice. "I am very sorry for my earlier outburst. Here at The Happy Primeape, we are dedicated to providing our customers with the most enjoyable dining experience possible, regardless of the… notoriety of those customers." It took in a large gulp of air before continuing. "My name is Kidd, and I am the owner of this establishment. These are my esteemed chefs, Enoki and Kefira." As it said this, it gestured to the shiinotic and the alcremie respectively, who leered at them with distrust. "We are h-hon-honored to serve you today. To s-st-start, would you like anything to d-dr-drink?" it finished.
"First, get this disgusting slop off of our table. We're not ordering anything unless it's out of our sight." Scorch snarled.
Kidd looked down at the table, just now noticing Albert and Charlie's abandoned meals. Its expression slowly went from confused to horrified as it mentally pieced together why exactly the meals hadn't been finished.
Enoki and Kefira simply swiped the plates from the table, glowering at Scorch and Riptide as they did so, before turning around and carrying the plates away.
"Thank you, ladies!" Riptide called out after them.
"Now, then," Scorch said calmly before turning to Kidd. "I believe you were saying something about drinks?"
Kidd shook itself out of its shocked stupor and set two smaller sheets of paper onto the table. "This is our c-cocktail menu," it said. "We also have cola, lemon-lime soda, orange soda, root b-"
"Shut the fuck up." Scorch hissed as he and his husband purveyed the cocktail menu. A drink wasn't worth having if it wasn't alcoholic, at least in Scorch and Riptide's eyes.
"I'll have a vodka martini with gin instead of vermouth, an equal amount of tequila added in, and three dashes of orange bitters. Stirred, not shaken, and garnished with two lemon peels." Riptide informed Kidd haughtily. "And do not put a single olive anywhere near my drink."
"And I'll have a Rob Roy with rum instead of vermouth, an equal amount of brandy added in, no bitters, and a dash of hot sauce." Scorch ordered Kidd. "And it must be garnished with half a habanero pepper."
"Those aren't real coc-" Kidd's complaint was cut off by Scorch and Riptide's furious glares boring into its soul. "I-i-I-I mean, coming right up!" it babbled before darting off. Scorch and Riptide shared satisfied smirks at this.
A few seconds later, Kidd came scrambling back to the table, precariously balancing the menus and two cocktail glasses – one filled with a clear liquid, one filled with a dark liquid, both emitting a very strong alcoholic smell – in its arms. It carefully set the menus and the drinks onto the table, its breaths becoming more and more rapid as it tried to keep the glasses from falling off of the table. Scorch and Riptide swiped the drinks from Kidd, causing it to flinch.
"H-he-here are your menus…" Kidd stammered. "I-i'll give you a few minutes to decide what you want."
"Just go." Riptide glowered. Kidd squeaked and scrambled away.
Scorch and Riptide sighed and pulled their cocktail glasses closer to them. They peered at them closely, taking in the appearances of the cocktails very closely, though they were pleased that Kidd had at least followed their garnish instructions.
"Well… Cheers to our sons seeing the light of reason one day." Riptide acknowledged, raising his glass.
"Cheers to that indeed." Scorch chuckled heartily.
The two clinked their glasses together before taking a swig from them. They sat there in silence for a few seconds, taking in the complex flavors of their drinks.
"Holy fucking Distortion… that's perfect." Scorch exhaled.
"This misshapen monkey knows what it's doing," Riptide murmured. "Helps that it's an obedient little follower. Let's wait and see if its hags of chefs also have the same skill."
Scorch nodded, and both pokemon grabbed their menus and began to peruse through them. Suddenly, Riptide gasped.
"Honey, are you seeing this?!" he exclaimed. "They serve lab-grown meat here!"
"You gotta be kidding me, babe…" Scorch exhaled as he flipped through the menu. His eyes widened. "Great Giratina, they do! They really do!" he cheered.
Lab-grown meat was a new, rare and controversial innovation on the Mountain Continent. This was mainly because it was grown using the muscle cells of pokemon that had died in accidents or of natural causes. The families of these pokemon had to consent to donate these cells, and right now, only about thirty species of pokemon were legally allowed to be donated for this cause.
Scorch and Riptide, however, were not strangers to eating pokemon meat. It was probably their favorite food. Sure, most of the time, the meat they ate came from unconsenting, sometimes still-living pokemon, but that was what made it even better. Still, they were very curious to try this new fad. It still was made up of cells from actual pokemon, after all. Would at least be better than that disgusting plant-based "pok'meat" companies had been big on peddling a few years back. Scorch and Riptide looked at each other and shuddered in disgust at the sheer memory of that disgusting slab of cardboard, before taking another large swig of their cocktails to rid themselves of that memory.
Right on time, Kidd came waddling back to the table. "A-are you ready to order your food?" it squeaked.
"First, refill these cocktails. Then we'll talk about food." Scorch snarled.
Kidd cocked its head. "Y-you do know every cocktail refill is an extra dollar added on to your total, r-right?" it asked.
"Oh, you think you're going to charge us for these refills? That's cute." Riptide giggled. "Now, get us some new cocktails, and keep getting us new cocktails every ten minutes, or we're walking out of here."
"Maybe I should take you up on that offer," Kidd whispered under its breath.
Scorch and Riptide's eyes narrowed. "Can you please repeat that?" Scorch growled.
"I-i said I'll be back in three minutes!" Kidd yelped fearfully, zipping away from the table. Scorch and Riptide giggle with amusement as they watched it do so.
A few seconds later, Kidd returned to the table, newly filled cocktail glasses in hand. "D-do you two want any appetizers?" it asked nervously as it set down the glasses. "O-or do you want to go straight to the entrees?"
"Do we look like children to you?" Scorch yelled, causing the heads of every patron in the restaurant to swivel towards them. "Of course,we're going straight to the entrees!"
Kidd stumbled backward at the sheer volume of Scorch's voice. "A-alr-right then…" it chuckled nervously. "What would you like?"
"I would like…" Scorch squinted at the menu. "...the Flaming Hot Blaziken sandwich with extra 'fury sauce'. And absolutely no coleslaw, you hear me?"
"And I would like the Red Curry Greninja Legs with extra sour sauce," Riptide stated coldly. "And absolutely not a speck of rice anywhere on my plate."
"R-right on it, sirs!" Kidd saluted them before scrambling back to the kitchen.
"Awww, look at it go!" Riptide giggled. "What an obedient little pet."
"We should come back here more often." Scorch murmured, nuzzling up to Riptide as he did so. "See how much it can take before breaking." Riptide laughed heartily before nuzzling his husband right back.
For the next twenty minutes, Scorch and Riptide sat at the table, laughing, reminiscing, gulping down the cocktails that Kidd brought to them every five minutes, and just generally enjoying each other's company. They hadn't gotten to do something like this in a long time, and they were loving it. They had been having so much fun torturing their sons over the years and carrying out missions that they had almost forgotten how much fun it was to just relax and hang out together.
Of course, torture and murder were still their favorite things in the world. If they had to keep on having lovey-dovey dates like this, they would probably end up getting sick from the lack of bloodshed. In small doses like this, however, it was quite enjoyable.
Suddenly, Scorch and Riptide were interrupted by two feminine-sounding pokemon clearing their throats right next to them. They turned around to see the shiinotic and the alcremie from earlier standing at their table, annoyance written all over their faces. They were each holding a plate with something bright red on it - one plate having a sandwich that looked to be slathered with hot sauce, and the other plate being filled with curry that had a sauce-to-meat ratio of at least seventy to thirty. The smells wafting from the plates were very aromatic, and Scorch and Riptide started drooling the nanosecond the smells hit their nostrils.
"...Who are you two again?" Riptide asked, a wide sneer on his face.
"...I'm Enoki, and this is my wife Kefira." the shiinotic grumbled, gesturing to the alcremie with her free hand.
"We have your food right here." Kefira deadpanned, stretching her tiny hand outwards and placing her plate on the table. Enoki did the same with her plate.
Scorch and Riptide lunged forward to grab the plates. Before they could do so, however, they were stopped by Enoki and Kefira's hands reaching out to block them.
"What in the name of Giratina is your problem?" Scorch hissed.
"We just wanted to say that we hope you two enjoy your food," Kefira said, as sweet as her species. "We added in a couple of… surprises… to your dishes. We sincerely hope that it elevates the experience."
Riptide narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "You two aren't trying to pull any funny business on us, are you?" he chided. "It would be a shame for us to have our night spoiled after your boss was so nice to us."
"Oh, please." Enoki scoffed. "You two deserve to have your nights ruined, and so much more, for what you've done to this continent." She leaned in right in front of Scorch and Riptide's faces. "You monsters." she spat.
Before Scorch and Riptide could fire back, Enoki and Kefira had disappeared, just as quickly as they had appeared.
Scorch growled under his breath and started to get out of his seat, but Riptide placed a hand on his shoulder and motioned for him to sit back down. "I know you're angry, darling, and believe me, so am I." he soothed. "Let's eat first, and then go confront them. It's a travesty to waste food, after all. Especially when someone died for our meal."
Scorch instantly calmed down. "You're right, babe." he purred, pulling his plate closer to him. "Nothing like a good piece of fresh meat to prepare yourself for a good beatdown!"
"Indeed." Riptide chuckled, pulling his plate closer to him and grabbing a fork as he did so. "Especially meat like this!"
Scorch picked up his sandwich, while Riptide speared a piece of curry-covered meat with his fork. They looked at each other silently for a few seconds, mentally counting down, before digging into their food
The couple sat there quietly, eating their food, taking in the flavors, and trading looks with each other.
About halfway through their meal, a loud thud suddenly echoed from behind them. They turned around to see Kidd sheepishly adjusting a chair upright. Enoki and Kefira were right behind it, saying something that Scorch and Riptide couldn't hear. Kidd quickly noticed them and scuttled over to their table.
"H-how are you enjoying your food, sirs?" Kidd asked, rubbing his forehead sheepishly.
Another pause followed. Then, sadistic smiles spread across Scorch and Riptide's faces.
"Not bad." Riptide chuckled. "But much worse than real pokemon meat."
Kidd blinked a couple of times before stumbling backward in shock. Scorch and Riptide laughed at this reaction and took another bite of their respective meals. After a couple of chews, however, they suddenly froze.
Scorch and Riptide quickly spat out their food and began intently staring at the chewed-up wads. After a few seconds, they grabbed their napkins and carefully plucked out something from the food wads.
"What… in the name of Giratina… IS THIS?!" Scorch roared at the trio of restaurateurs, him and Riptide holding up their napkins right in front of their faces.
Kidd squinted at the napkins. "What is that supposed to be?" it asked. "All I can see are some tiny green and white strips."
"It's obviously coleslaw and rice." Riptide snapped. "The two ingredients we specifically requested to not be added into our meals or even come close to touching them."
Suddenly, Scorch and Riptide's eyes widened, and they stepped forward to be closer to Enoki and Kefira. "This was your little 'surprise', wasn't it?" they screamed simultaneously.
Enoki and Kefira said nothing, but Scorch and Riptide could tell that they were trying to hold back their smirks. Kidd, on the other hand, looked like he was about to vomit up all of its abdominal organs.
"You know what, honey?" Riptide asked Scorch, both of them suddenly becoming eerily calm. "I think I'm feeling quite full now."
"Same here, darling." Scorch murmured, he and Riptide turning to Kidd and the cooks with excited malice in their eyes. "I'm feeling surprisingly energetic." The enforcers' gazes turned to Kidd, Enoki, and Kefira, and wide grins emerged on their faces. "Want to help us expel that energy?" they asked.
Kidd was trembling out of its fur now, and the smug smiles had been wiped off of Enoki and Kefira's faces. Scorch and Riptide took that as a unanimous "yes", and began walking towards the restaurant's back end, motioning for its three staff members to follow them.
As Kidd, Enoki, and Kefira followed Scorch and Riptide to the back of the building, the terrified whispers and occasional screams of the restaurant patrons trailing behind them, the incineroar and the inteleon clasped their hands together, gazing into each other's eyes with immense love. This date may not have gone the way that most dates do, but Scorch and Riptide didn't care one bit. Their style of romance was much different than that of a normal couple. And they would be finishing this date off doing the activity they enjoyed the most with the person they loved most in the entire world - each other.
Author's Note 2: Hope you guys enjoyed that chapter! I hope you guys don't mind the ambiguous ending, but I thought it worked for something like this. Feel free to speculate about what you think may have happened, though! ;)
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