Disclaimer: I don't own anything
It was one of those things that made him ponder, time, it was a funny thing. He spent what he considered the best years of his life, being in a committed relationship. From when he was sixteen until he graduated when he was eighteen, he thought he had found the love of his life. His everything.
Unfortunately, she had other ideas.
Those years he spent meeting her every whim, making sure that she was happy, had everything she ever wanted, all whilst trying to juggle being impressively academic for being one of the jocks and being the captain of his ice hockey team.
His father said he was young and in love, and love makes you dumb.
Prom night he had planned to take her out to a fancy hotel by the lake and propose in the moonlight with the stars shining in the sky but a little after they were crowned Prom King and Queen, she dropped a bombshell on him.
She told him that she wanted the picture-perfect prom, being immortalised in their yearbook as royalty and that was that. When she had visited her older sister at college and saw what they had to offer, she wanted to go and have the best time of her life and being with him would drag her down.
Doing something he never thought he would reduce himself to, he got on his knees and begged, pleaded with her that she would have the best time and that they could make it work, he would make it work for them.
There was nothing that he said that changed her mind, she walked away without another word, leaving him outside of their high school. As he sat down on the grass by the parking lot, he twirled the ring on his finger and sighed.
They both went off to college, without another word spoke between each other and as the holidays rolled on in the blink of an eye, he made his way back home, in the hopes of seeing her again.
Angel dropped heavily into the seat and raised his coffee carefully so he could take a sip of the scalding hot liquid, his nerves were already on the brink today, burning himself would top it off. He'd heard through the grapevine that she was back on the streets of Sunnydale, and it made him on edge.
His long-time friend Lindsay sat down across from him and pulled out a hip flask, tipping some of the whiskey inside, into both his and Angel's coffee "look like you could use it man…"
Angel rolled his eyes and remained quiet as Linds mentioned that one of the Frat Houses at UC Sunnydale were throwing their annual Christmas bash and one of the guys he knew scored them an invite.
With having nothing else to do that evening he agreed to go, more so to keep Linds from moaning that he never did anything fun. He did have fun but spending evenings hitting on his co-eds, was not his idea of a good time.
Like the Frat parties back at college, this was just the same, too many drunk guys trying to out macho each other and too many drunk girls stripping down to nothing and posing. Feeling like this night would never end, Angel made his way out of the house and proceeded to go home.
On the way through the gardens to the main road he heard a laugh, one that he had locked inside his memories. It was her laugh. Snapping his head round, the smile on his face slipped into a grimace of pain.
He felt his insides squeeze painfully as he viewed Darla and some random guy, hands all over her, walking them back towards a tree as his hands made their way to them hem of her dress and hitched it further up her thighs.
Rage overtook him and he strode over towards the couple and landed a right hook, knocking the guy off of her. All he could remember after that was Darla screaming, the guy getting back up and throwing punches between each other.
As Lindsay pulled him away and the rest of the Frat brothers threatening him, he heard Darla call him pathetic and that he needed to get over her. She had certainly gotten over him as she listed all the guys she had slept with whilst away, digging the knife deeper into his heart.
From that night he swore to himself that he would never repeat the same mistakes that his younger self had done. He would never tie himself down to one girl, he would live life for him rather than for anyone else and that he never wanted to fall in love again.
Oooooooooooooo
The first thing he done after the holidays, when he got back to his apartment just off campus was take that ring, the one he had held onto and threw it out of the window with no care as to where is landed. It's not like he needed the damn thing anyway.
He spent the following months into years leaving a trail of broken promises and broken hearts. The women in his classes knew that he was up for a good time and nothing more, unfortunately for the freshman, they were none the wiser.
He played the mysterious romantic angle to reel them in, then turned into an almost sadistic, darker version of himself, saying hurtful things and acting like an ass for them to get the hint that it was over. That's how it usually worked, keeping them at arm's length until they whispered their feelings for him, making him break their hearts… and that's how he ended up being in this predicament.
A few of his friends, including Lindsay, had all been in long term relationships which at first, he was indifferent to, more single woman for him, but lately, well, that was a different matter.
They all looked like they were moving on with their lives, spending less time with him and more time talking about what come may after graduation. Walking into their future careers with plans of becoming homeowners and starting families in the not-so-distant future.
He began to yearn for that connection, having someone that he could talk to, spend time with and even just sit in each others company with no ulterior motive. He didn't go out of his way to force that connection with just any woman he came across and he didn't expect it in the least when he realised that he had feelings begin to bubble.
His roommate had mentioned that he'd had some sort of a summer fling with a girl back home and although they had fun, they both agreed that whatever they had wouldn't work. When the new freshman entered College in the summer, Riley had bumped into her by chance, inviting her to one of their parties.
She was like sunshine personified, everything about her just lit up his life. Her moss green eyes, her smile, and the way her nose crinkled when she laughed, it warmed his dark little heart, making him feel all those feelings he thought he would never experience again.
They had only met a handful of times each month since, mostly when her own College schedule allowed it but each time she chose to come over, she spent more time around him, rather than as a trio. The more he learned about her, the more he felt those stupid little butterflies' flap away inside.
"Angel, you do know that you're still young… you can go out and party, rather than staying in on a Friday night with little ol' me" she smiled widely and sat down on the sofa beside him, her legs automatically coming to lie across his lap.
It was common for this, when they spent the night binging tv shows or catching a movie or two, for her to cozy in beside him and find some way to be touching. He had panicked at first when Riley was present, but he didn't seem to notice or mind at all.
Angel reached over and grabbed handful of popcorn from the bowl she had brought over from the kitchen and popped one into his mouth "I'm not…" when she quirked her eyebrow at him, he chuckled.
Buffy took a sip of soda, trying to figure out how to word her next question "uh, so why are you not out, looking for Mrs Right?" Riley was currently out on another date and whilst they had never broached this subject, Riley might have mentioned a little about him and his heart broken past.
She wondered how he hadn't been snatched up, most of the reason for her spending as much time here was because she loved spending time with him. He was always caring and compassionate and let her have a moan about how tough her classes had been in the weeks preceding, without complaining.
Angel tensed for a moment then relaxed, he rubbed his chin in thought, letting out a mirthless laugh "Now that is a loaded question" he leaned back onto the sofa and rolled his head towards hers, to stare into her eyes.
"You would make some girl happy, Angel" her eyes sparkled at him, he thought he could almost see some jealousy swirl beneath, but he possibly couldn't have, could he?
Buffy watched as Angel looked blankly ahead then back at her, his deep chocolate eyes tainted with sadness. Feeling her heart lurch, she leaned closer, her dainty fingers caressing his cheek in a whisper touch.
On autopilot Angel leaned over so that his lips pressed against hers, just for a moment. In that moment though, it felt like time had stood still. When he felt her breath hitch in her throat he pulled back, almost embarrassed about what he had done.
Elated that he had finally kissed her, she shook her head as he tried to pull away "Don't…" without hesitation, Buffy grabbed his face gently to pull him back towards her.
Angel pulled her flush against his body as she opened her mouth to let his tongue swoop inside. She tasted like how he imagined she would, sweet, just like fresh strawberries. Buffy moaned into his mouth, feeling a tingle run over her body as his hand gently caressed her bare calf.
Any time she came over, she always changed into her "comfies", those same little shorts and a vest top, he was always appreciative of that but now he was thanking the powers that be that she chose too again.
Moving her legs so that she sat astride his lap, she grabbed his head and kissed him again, with her hips moving against him, feeling him through those grey joggers he had on.
Wanting nothing more than to continue this, Angel pushed down the urge to undress her and take her right there. He settled for slowing down their kiss and pulling her away a fraction "Buffy…"
The warning in his tone made her frown so to stop whatever it was she was going to say he kissed her deeply once more and pulled her back again, panting out "I'm not a nice guy" he pictured all the times he had those he had slighted in floods of tears to remind him that he didn't want to cause her that type of pain.
Buffy framed his face with her hands so he couldn't look away "I don't care about the others, I don't think you would ever hurt me, especially like that" she had heard things, she had seen how he treated some of them, but she meant what she said. Deep down she knew he was a genuine guy, who just didn't want to get hurt again.
When she kissed him again, he could feel how frenzied her movements were becoming and how forceful she was being. It almost felt inexperienced, and he then realised that he didn't know anything like that about her… add the fact that that her and Riley had dated briefly.
Buffy let out a grunt of frustration when he pulled back again "Angel, I want this, you want this…" she rocked her hips against him again, causing him to bite his lip and close his eyes "please?" She didn't know why he invoked this reaction from her, but she didn't want it to stop.
When he shook his head no, she burned with lust and humiliation. She couldn't believe she had put herself out there and that he was turning her down. Hastily climbing off of him and trying to hold back the sting of tears that threatened to spill, she tried to walk away.
Angel stood up immediately and pulled her tiny body up against his chest, her legs immediately wrapping around his wait as he crushed his lips against hers. He stumbled towards the wall and pushed her back gently onto it, breaking away from the kiss.
Her flushed cheeks and swollen lips called to him, she truly was fucking beautiful "Have you ever…" seeing her shy away from the question and shake her head he continued "not tonight" Angel didn't elaborate, he didn't think he could, he was one more adverb away from throwing out all logic and stripping her bare in front of him.
Buffy ground her teeth in anger as she tightened her arms around his neck, pulling him even closer "and why not?!"
Taking a deep breath, he managed to unwind her legs from his waist and guided her back to the floor before pulling her hand to follow him back to the sofa. Once he got a grip on himself, he sighed "you deserve more than just a one night stand"
As she was going to say that she didn't mind because it was him and it wouldn't feel like that, he ran his thumb over her pouty lips to silence her.
"Trust me, you don't want to do anything you would later regret" he had many regrets in his life and the ones he didn't want to add was messing her around nor to mess up the friendship he had with her "You deserve this to be done properly… make no mistake, I want you, I do… but not tonight"
Trying to stop that childish indifference from bubbling to the surface, Buffy nodded quickly and faced away from him. She jumped a little when his arms slid round her body and pulled her flush against his chest as he pressed a kiss to the side of her neck.
Looking at the clock on the wall showing that it was almost midnight, he wanted to call it a night. Standing up he entwined his fingers with hers and led her to his room, normally if she fell asleep, then she took the sofa, but he didn't want to be alone tonight.
Pulling off his t-shirt and opting to keep the joggers on, on account of being commando underneath, Angel slipped under the covers and waited for Buffy to join him. They could spend the night together without anything happening, couldn't they?
Lying in a comfortable silence, limbs tangled and her head on his chest, Buffy traced her fingertip along his stomach and chest before circling his nipple, making him shiver. She peeked up from under her lashes, she might be inexperienced, but she knew exactly what she was doing to him.
Angel pulled her hand away and kissed her fingertips before laying her hand back down, his large hand covering her dainty one "Sleep… and we'll talk in the morning" he felt her yawn and eventually her breathing evened out, letting him know that she had fallen asleep.
He kissed the top of her head and gave her a squeeze "Night, Buffy" he hoped that she heard him from dreamland and hoped that she would sleep well, knowing that come morning there would be several discussions to be had about the two of them.
Oooooooooooooo
He had every intention of spending the next morning making her breakfast and maybe having some sort of discussion about them, how she felt about him and that he had feelings for her… of course that all went to shit when he woke up and watched her sleep as she laid in his arms.
When her thick lashes fluttered open, her eyes slowly focussing in on his, he couldn't resist the magnetic force that drew him closer. They shared a few chaste kisses, whispering good morning to each other before it grew heated.
It felt like each second took forever and in absolutely no way did they complain. Savouring each kiss, each touch, they slowly got acquainted with each other's bodies. The tickly patch behind her calf, the sensitive spot just under his earlobe, only a breathy moan from each of them filled the room.
Drawing out every reaction from her he could, Angel lavished her body with open mouthed kisses then brought her to the brink with his mouth and this fingers, building up the tension before he claimed her as his own.
Doing his best to make this an experience for her, he made it all for her as he held back on his own wants and needs. In the past, yes, he would make it enjoyable for them, but his wants came first. Afterwards with the sheets tangled around them and their skin damp with sweat, they laid on their sides facing one another, talking about everything and nothing at the same time.
Riley had arrived home later that day to see them snuggled up on the sofa underneath the blanket. Their swollen lips and damp hair were a complete giveaway as to what they had been up to.
Angel had waited for their bubble to burst but it didn't, Riley looked between the pair of them and set his mouth in a straight line as the pondered what to say to them. After a pause, his friend nodded and said he was going to head to bed for a quick nap.
A few weeks had passed by where Riley had made no acknowledgement of them seemingly being a couple. It was only after a few drinks he had confronted Angel when he was on his own, he wanted to be happy for them but also made it clear that if she was hurt in any way, he would defend her honour.
Angel sighed deeply, wanting nothing more than to believe that he had changed, he only wanted her, and he would never forgive himself if he ever did something stupid. The next words out his mouth conveyed his deep feelings for her and with that he knew what he wanted in life. Her.
Oooooooooooooo
Their blossoming romance grew through the rest of that year, through his graduation and as he moved back out West to California, leaving her at college to finish what she had started. The distance began to take its toll on them and made their love begin to splinter, causing many arguments along the way.
After an almighty row where she told him to go to hell, she eventually skipped out on her last few classes at the end of term and made the journey out to be with him.
That lost and broken look in his eyes, that same one that almost cut her to her core when they first came together was what she was faced with when he answered the door to her. Before she could get her words out, he had pulled her inside and pressed her against the door that he'd just closed over.
Their apology to one another wasn't spoke but rather was expressed between them, his kisses were gentle yet demanding and her hands caressed his shoulders before digging in, making him wince.
They broke apart, resting their foreheads against each other whilst panting heavily, trying to regain some sort of control.
Angel felt his stomach knot dangerously as the tears began to slip from her eyes and roll down her cheeks, each warm trail causing the sickness to rise within him "Buff, I didn't mean any of it…" that he didn't, he'd said some horrible things whilst she held some restraint.
Buffy let slip a laugh as she wiped unceremoniously at her face to clean the tears away "Don't apologise you dummy, I just missed you so much" she threw her arms around him tightly and laid her head against his chest, closing her eyes as he wrapped her in his strong arms.
He almost never heard what she said next, he thought he imagined it as she blurted out that she was with child. Tipping his head up so he could look deep into her eyes, she said the words clearly this time "…I'm pregnant"
He took a few deep breaths as he searched her face to see how she felt about this, seeing a little hint of trepidation but mostly excitement, he couldn't help but wet his bottom lip with his tongue and stutter.
Buffy done her best to keep her cool as she told him what she had confirmed only days prior, sure the timing wasn't perfect but when would it ever be?
Angel smiled down at her as his hand smoothed down the curve of her spine and swipe round her hip until it came to a stop, resting over her stomach. He caressed her gently as he leaned down to kiss her softly.
"I love you" they had said these words a handful of times before but this time, the way he said it, it sounded different, almost as if it was brand new yet seasoned nonetheless "I've loved you from the moment I first saw you"
Buffy looked up to him in awe, whenever she thought he couldn't be sweeter if he tried, he upped his game. To say she was petrified as she stepped off the plane and hailed a cab was an understatement. Now, being back in his arms, having welcomed her with open arms, all those fears melted away.
Looking down into her sparkling green eyes, he leaned down to nip at her lips teasingly, making her catch her breath. Without saying another word, he took her small hand in his large one and led her upstairs towards their bedroom and pulled her flush against his body, this time kissing her hungrily.
Time sure was a funny thing, in the past few weeks, he thought he had fucked up the best thing he had in his life but really, it was just a pause, making him realise how much he wanted her, loved her, and couldn't live without her.
Now that he knew that they'd be together forever, being able to watch her grow his child inside her belly, watch as they'd become a family and grow old together; their time had just begun, and he couldn't wait for this journey to start.