a/n Hello goers! I know i've dissapeared for a while. I can't even say that I will pick up any of the stories thats here. Maybe one day. I've been more active on AO3 but i'm trying to post more on both as I go along. Which is why i'm taking this story i'm presently working on. Anyway, it feels good to be back, and I hope you enjoy this little bit of headcanon I got after finishing the first season of "all of us are dead" on netflix.:)
X POSTED ON AO3
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.. .Eat Your Heart Out. ..
-1-
Hindsight and Foreshadows
Sora
It is my opinion that whoever said "hindsight is 20/20" is an absolute moron.
Even after these weird events that I'm about to describe to you in detail I cannot sit here and tell you what it all meant. I cannot sit here and say "oh we should have done this" or
"we could have done that" to prevent this outcome.
I cannot tell you how best friends are pouring their heart out to you one minute and then trying to kill you the next.
Or how other friends seem like they genuinely care for you but are then willing to drop you like garbage the next. Honestly, I don't even think they're aware.
Or how the adults in this world, the people who are supposed to protect us, guide us, help us …turned their back on us the second that this world went to shit.
There's so much that happened, so much that's going to happen it seems, and no reasonable way to make sense of any of it.
But I guess that's the fun of it, huh? Of life? It's about the journey, not the destination.
Hah.
Maybe that's true. In the end though it would have been nice if the journey wasn't wrought with sick, and twisted monsters.
The zombies didn't help matters either.
I guess for all of this to even make any sense at all I'll start from the very beginning. The beginning of the end even. It was probably like— a week before our freshman year of high school was over. Finals were upon us. I recall that day quite well.
It started out like it always did. I was going to meet my best friend Riku, like I did every day since we were practically babies….
My fist hovers in front of his door again and I bite my lip. I don't want to knock. I texted him. But he hasn't responded yet. This is a usual occurrence, so i'm not going to get worried just yet.
I look at my phone again. Nothing. This is annoying now. I send him another text just as the door is opening thankfully.
Okay, he's alive. I think to myself as I watch him descend the three steps to his front door.
God, he's hot. That thought is automatic, but I quickly shake my head. I can't be thinking things like that about my best friend after all. Also I'm not gay.
But the funny thing is that he is literally messed up, and still hot. He didn't even brush his hair this morning, which is long and wild and this odd but pretty silver color as it splays haphazardly past his shoulders and down his back, and there's these bags under his…so bright green eyes. He definitely didn't sleep. But even a wreck he's still … easy to look at.
"Jeez. Rough night again?" I ask, even though I know I shouldn't. I know what's wrong. He knows too, and I can tell he's annoyed at the question.
"Yeah, not even as bad though. He insulted me. But I'd rather him throw words at me than hands." He mutters and I watch as he breathes in deep, probably to soothe his own broken soul.
Riku's a great guy. The best actually, who doesn't deserve the things he puts up with. His mother died when he was young, and his asshole father is a raging drunk. It's a cliche' story. But it's one he lives. My heart breaks for him on a daily basis. But I tried to get him to move in with me. One, my parents aren't for that, and two even Riku himself refuses to spend more than a Saturday night over at my house. I always found that weird since we were so close growing up, and he used to sleep over all the time.
He's already walking when I go to respond to him, so I jog to catch up.
"You need to do something about it, Riku. You can't keep living with him." I know i'm pushy. I've been pushy about this. But it's hard to watch your best friend go through this shit.
"Ugh..I'm aware, Sora. I don't need a lecture this morning."
Ugh. Lecturing. Yeah, he's great and all, but did I mention he did have this habit of being a tiny bit annoying too, especially when he refuses to listen to good advice from someone who genuinely cares about his well being.
To that affect, something on his face catches my eye and I quickly step in front of him, which in turn makes him stop with a start.
I stare at him and then reach up to push back a bang he has conveniently left messy over one of his, uhm, really nicely colored eyes.
There's an ugly black ring around it, tainting that vibrant sea green. I feel my blood boil.
"You're really going to lie to me of all people?" I grumble, obviously disappointed.
His face falters, and I can tell he's sad at disappointing me. But I'm not letting up. Not this time.
"Okay, so maybe it was a little crazier than I let on" He admits, and I blow a dismissive raspberry in response.
"You're staying with me tonight after school"
"No" He quickly rejects.
"Yes." But i'm not taking 'no' this time.
"I said no"
"I said yes"
We're glaring at each other now, both stubborn, too stubborn. There's too much pride on both of our parts to give in to the other.
But honestly it makes me sad that he's so against it. We were so close at one point..
We're still close, but there's been a change in my friend that is hard to grasp. He was always so confident, so self assured. Now he's..meeker. I don't want to say weaker, but he doesn't seem as strong as he once did. But I guess I shouldn't be surprised. What did I expect from someone just trying to cope with an drunken, asshole of a father at home.
It's partially why I tell myself not to back down this time.
He goes to answer but he's cut off by a loud yell. Both of our names are called and we look up in time to see her running toward us. I'm happy to see her and I know to some extent Riku is too, but his expression is pained for a split second, before reverting back to his normally unreadable one.
"It's about time you two showed up!" She scolds playfully while twirling a strand of fire engine red hair around her finger, and I notice out the corner of my eye the way Riku shrinks back just ever so slightly.
"Hey Kairi.." I say, and Riku follows up with barely a grunt of a response himself. She chuckles, and I can't help but wonder if she's noticed Riku's black eye yet. But then again he's got his bangs messily over it, on purpose probably. He's always been really good at hiding things.
In the end I don't think she's noticed it, because she starts going on about our upcoming finals, and how she's ready for them and how we better be too if we want to move up to sophomore year. It's nothing I want to hear right now, but I also don't tell her that. I'd feel bad asking her to talk about something else.
Quietly I'm glancing at Riku, hoping he would do it. He doesn't meet my eyes, but I can tell by his slightly annoyed look that he feels the same.
"Yeah, we're all ready for them" He replies with a roll of his eyes. It's an awkward reach for conversation. But it works.
Kairi's grinning in a way that has myself feeling a touch nervous.
"Of course you're ready. Or at least for biology. You know, since you have Ansem in your back pocket and all."
I wince, and realize that the nervousness was definitely warranted. There's a flicker of hurt for a split second that shows on Riku's face before he's turning angry, his brows furrowing as he turns away from her and more towards me.
"Cut it out. You know that's not true."
He doesn't want to linger to hear her response, so he's heading towards the school at a quicker pace than us two. Kairi giggles and chases after which makes me fall in stride with the rest of them.
"C'mon Riku. It's okay to admit it. He obviously likes you best. "
I'm walking besides them now but hanging back just an inch or so, while silently begging Kairi to shut up with my eyes. It's a well known rumor floating among us at this school that Riku's had…relations with our 8th period Biology teacher. I have seen the others either tease, or brutally mock my best friend for it.
I step in when I can, but no one really listens to, or is threatened by, someone who is basically invisible.
He manages to tune them out anyway, and those that persist, well, once they get themselves in a fight with Riku, they tend to shut up real fast after that.
"Enough Kairi, you know that's a stupid rumor that isn't true" I step up to his defense this time around, and here he seems grateful. His head is hung a little and he doesn't respond. I'm glad he's letting me stand up for him here at least.
I don't even know if I believe it or not myself. He's told me it wasn't true, and I do trust him. But there's been too many instances I've seen him steal away into our science class room after hours. He claims it's for extra help. But I know how smart Riku is. Extra help is not the thing he needs.
When I think about it, it makes me feel really angry to think that it's a possibility. It's not even as if Ansem is a great, amazing guy. He's kind of a prick, if I'm being honest. And his eyes are really creepy. There this weird sort of gold color, and now that I think about it, the way he looks at Riku is kind of strange…
"Sora!"
Kairi's stern tone rips me out of Lala land as I find myself thinking about how creepy our biology teacher really is and then I realize that the three of us had stopped walking.
"We're here." Riku says, slightly amused that I zoned out so hard. I blink and look up to see our classmates clamoring inside.
"Well, let's go learn things" Kairi hooks her arms around mine and Riku's and pulls us into the building. Neither of us try to get away; it's always easier to let her do what she wants.
Thankfully she pulls back the second were inside. It's the same every day like this. We say goodbye until lunch because none of us have morning classes together, which sucks in a big way. I miss elementary school, where Riku and I would always sit next to each other in grades one to five. Kairi joined our group when she magically showed up one summer in grade four. The two of us befriended her, and then we were inseparable ever since.
So here we part. Kairi skitters off to join her friend Namine', who I have affectionately dubbed her doppleganger on account of the fact that she's basically her twin except for the blonde hair, and then Riku turns and makes his way down the hall faster than I would have liked. Before I could remind him again that he was coming home with me that night.
But I don't let that bother me. We may not have morning classes together, but we do have lunch, and then the rest of the day is ours after that.
With this thought in mind, I make my way to English to start this stupidly long day.
With my mind clouded with concern for Riku, not to mention the general disinterest with these final days of school, I some how make it halfway through third period, or rather, I'm not making it through, when I feel something solid and thin hit the back of my head.
It hits the ground behind me loud enough that I know a scene's about to be caused.
"You're spacing out" My other best friend Roxas is whispering to me. Obviously that was his pencil that hit me. I swallow hard and go to answer him when the teacher beats me to it.
"Roxas, I've told you time and again if you're going to flirt with Sora, can't you wait until after my class?"
The class snickers as I sink into my seat, feeling my face heat up from the sheer embarrassment of being called out like that.
"Mind your business" Roxas snaps quick, and no one seems to question his audacity. Even Axel himself snickers a little,
And it's still kind of funny, because the way the teacher says called him out on that, one would almost say he sounded kind of jealous.
"Hey!" Xion, the girl who obviously has a crush on Roxas, pipes up from behind him, and now every one else is in full on hysterics, leaving Axel to try and reign everybody in.
"Alright, alright! Calm down ya brats. Geez, You would think you all never saw two people flirting before, sheesh"
"Can you stop!" I finally cut in, annoyed. Axel may be the teacher, but he's kind of like us at heart. For one, he never wants to be called Mr. and insists we use his first name. It all works for us. He's actually one of the more favorite teachers here, despite finding reasons to make fun of basically everyone.
He snickers then, and smirks at me before turning back around and continuing to show us how to use the quadratic formula. It's stupid. All of math is stupid, and even he admits we probably will never use it. But they make him teach it, so teach it he will.
"Why are you spacing out?" Roxas whispers again, his voice dropping a bit more in an attempt to go unnoticed this time. It doesn't work; I can see the back of Axel's head turn, but he lets him get away with it. Sometimes I imagine that Roxas is Axel's favorite the way that Riku is Ansem's. But then again, there aren't really any rumors floating around school about Axel banging Roxas.
"I'm not." I lie. But I am. Who wouldn't during math, of all things? Roxas apparently. But he's certainly spacing out enough to see me spacing out. I hesitate to tell him that I'm really worried about Riku too. Riku isn't exactly Roxas' favorite person ever since they got into a fight in the fifth grade over which of them I liked more..
I told them I liked them both the same. But some how I don't think Roxas believed me. Hell, I don't think I believed me, when I really think about it…and I do like Roxas, a lot, he's like a brother. But so is Riku—
No, scratch that. What I feel for Riku is definitely not brotherly.
Oh shit, maybe I am gay. Or at least bi. Kairi's pretty hot too.
….Anyway…So Math..
But even as I tell myself to focus, there's no way I'm focusing now. I feel Roxas kicking my chair incessantly, and I sit there fuming as I take it. But I'm not willing to be the butt of Axel's joke again. I wait until we're both in the hallway to admit what's actually been on my mind.
So I tell him how the day isn't even half way over yet and I'm pretty beat, I'm worried, and stressed, and I can't concentrate while thinking about how stupid Riku is, and is being.
As expected Roxas wasn't really supportive.
"He's a prick. I don't get why you're still friends with him. Cant you just kick him to the curb already?"
"Ugh. Stop being jealous that I call you both my best friends. It's unbecoming"
I don't really like to admit it, but sometimes riling up Roxas can be mildly entertaining. He looks like he wants to clap back at me with something clever but I notice him stop short. So I turn to look and see where he's looking since his eyes are presently fixed obviously over my shoulder.
It's not the prettiest of sights. One of our classmates looked kind of sick. But upon closer inspection, something was definitely— off.
Olette, another girl in our grade, casual acquaintances with Roxas, although I always figured she had a crush on him, was being escorted by one of her friends. I'm guessing she was bringing her to the nurse with the way the girl was hunched over.
Her eyes had this weird glassy look to them, and she was moaning like she was in a lot of pain.
At first glance it looked like she just had to go to the bathroom or something. But squinting, I saw something black on her fingers. Or at least— I thought I saw something. The two moved really fast, but if it was what I thought it was, it looked like a bunch of small shadows curling themselves around her hand, like marks on her skin.
I felt my face scrunch up as I tried to work in my head what that could have been, until I felt Roxas shaking my shoulder.
"C'mon, lets go."
"Aren't you concerned? Did you even see what was on her hands? You know her, don't you?" I asked him those questions too quickly. He looked at me, annoyed.
"No, yeah and yeah. But whatever it is, it's nothing the nurse can't fix. Maybe she'll get to go home early."
I was barely listening to him at that point, because I was too busy watching the two get further and further down the hall. They grew further and further until they disappeared around the corner.
But right before they did I could have sworn I saw something black start to climb up her legs the same way they seemed to slide up her arms.
Something definitely started to feel really wrong.
After seeing Olette, I couldn't focus on anything else the rest of that morning, and when I told Riku and Kairi about it at lunch, they both just looked at me like I was sort of crazy.
Not after exchanging looks with each other though.
"You're reading too many horror mangas" Riku had told me, which made me want to punch him, especially when I heard the ever so slight bit of doubt in his own words.
"I swear I saw it! It was weird! It was all around her hands and legs and it looked like it was creeping around her arm."
"Ooh, Like Henna, that actually sounds really neat. I went to a friend's birthday party once and she had a henna artist there. They drew all sorts of pretty designs on our hands and arms. It's a cultural thing. Maybe Olette is into it.
Riku hummed an acknowledgement of Kairi's words while boredly chewing on his apple.
I found myself staring at Riku as he ate. The fact that an apple was apparently all he had for lunch made me want to let the other issues lie for now.
"…Is that all you brought for lunch, Riku?"
He stopped chewing, and his eyes rolled up to me disinterestedly.
"Yep. Old man hasn't gone grocery shopping in a while, and I don't get paid until Friday." He replied with so much disinterest that it was genuinely annoying.
Kairi looked at him sympathetically, which I guess was how I should have been looking at him. But as usual, his inaction kept pissing me off.
"I thought you looked a little thinner. You want half my sandwich?" She asked, pushing the uneaten half of her peanut butter and fluff towards him.
He gave her an appreciative smile, but it quickly melted into a small smirk.
"Please, you need it more than I do. But thanks anyway"
I let them argue about the sandwich for a moment or two before I reminded Riku that he was going to come home with me that night and stay over. I'd be damned if I took no for an answer now, knowing that this kid was barely eating.
"Okay"
I blinked. That was a completely different answer than earlier. A complete 180 from his earlier refusal.
"Really?" I couldn't help but question it.
He shrugged. "Yeah, but I need to stop off to see Ansem first."
My inner triumph at the victory was then immediately shot down the minute he mentioned our obnoxious biology teacher.
"Of course" I muttered, in a sarcastic sort of way, a lot meaner than I actually intended. I regretted it instantly when I saw his slightly hurt look. But naturally it quickly changed to one of aggravation ( and I didn't blame him for being annoyed at me with that comment either. )
"I want to pass my final, Sora. I need extra help."
For once, I was actually happy that Kairi was the one to call him out this time; she blew a raspberry that made us both look at her in surprise.
"I was only kidding before, you know. You're the smartest kid in this school, why do you need extra help?"
He seemed to shrink a little at that, but then rolled his eyes quickly.
"Biology can be a little confusing sometimes."
I saw the way he shifted uncomfortably, and decided that Kairi, nor I should put him in that position any more. Whatever he did with Ansem, that was his business, and we were his friends regardless.…even if the thought of this man and Riku…together made me rage inside for multiple reasons.
"…Okay fine, so then I'll wait for you." I added, but he shook his head.
"Just go home. I will meet you there after."
I looked at him skeptically. I wanted to believe him, but I couldn't help this really bad nagging feeling in my gut that said I probably shouldn't.
"You promise?"
He looked at me once, and he had this strangely….indescribable look. I couldn't place it. It looked almost—pained. But it only lasted for a split second before he gave me a more reassuring smile, one that made something in my chest flutter pleasantly.
"I promise"
He said it with enough reassurance that it had put my mind at ease for the moment, and made me actually believe him.
Knowing what I know now, I kind of wish I would have gotten the chance to see if he was being truthful or not.
If I had gotten that chance, and he was, maybe things would have been different.
TBC...