What If? Part 7
Author's Note: So, coming back from the dead isn't all it's cracked up to be...and when your lover encounters the woman you have feelings for, things get awkward.
Let me know what you think!
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Ressler stood in his hotel room thinking about the events of the day and wondering if anything would ever be the same again.
The way Aram looked at him, the way Cooper couldn't look at him, Samar's awkardness, and the crying on the phone when he called his mother was almost too much to bear. All for what? For a woman who is pregnant with another man's baby? A woman he shared one kiss with yesterday? A woman who, by her own admission, makes bad choices when it comes to men? Kirk would have been caught whether he went undercover or not, Nora was on the case long before he was. So, he made no difference whatsoever. All this heartache, all this loss, all this upset for literally nothing.
A knock at his door pulled him from his morose thoughts. He walked to the door and opened it to Nora King on the other side. She walked into his room without invitation her long red curls swinging down her back as she did.
"I wasn't planning on entertaining..." Ressler said as he shut the door behind her.
"And I don't need entertainment," she countered as she sat on his bed.
He walked toward her with a raised eyebrow. "Nora, I don't think continuing..."
"What? The romance is gone now that I'm not a nutcase and I had to file a report about the number of times we had sexual encounters with the FBI and Homeland?" She asked sarcastically.
"Yeah, that would kill it," he sighed as he sat on the bed next to her.
She sighed and looked down at her hands.
"I'm sorry I lied to you," she said softly, a voice he wasn't used to hearing. "You are a great guy, just trying to help and...and I admit I took advantage."
"I was also trying to take advantage of you," Ressler admitted with a chuckle. "Although, with far less information about the other person."
"You're a good looking guy and I thought if I kept you closer I'd be able to keep a better eye on you," Nora admitted.
"We could have just been good friends," he offered.
"But where's the fun in that?" She winked at him.
He chuckled and sighed.
"So, what now?" Ressler asked.
"I go to Vietnam," she said.
"Excuse me?" Ressler asked.
"I've been undercover for a long time," she said. "Once Psych clears me, I need a year to just be me. To sit on a beach, travel, drink, let loose..."
He nodded. He understood the need for that. He had been undercover for 6 months and he felt like he needed a year off too. She had done 4 years undercover.
"What about your family?" Ressler asked.
"My husband died in Afghanistan," Nora said. "My sister is...estranged and my parents are gone. It's really just me besides some friends who I think are hosting a BBQ to celebrate my return to civilization."
Ressler chuckled.
"Sounds nice," he said.
"How's everyone dealing with you no longer being dead?" Nora asked as she placed a hand on his thigh.
He smirked.
"No one is throwing me a BBQ," he said as he turned and met her eyes. "My mom cried a lot."
Nora nodded.
"They'll come around," Nora said.
He shook his head a little.
"No, they will Don," she said.
He turned to her and smiled. "No one calls me Don."
She chuckled.
"Well, they will come around once they realize that the alternative—you dead—is not the better option," she said as she rose from her spot on his bed.
"Here's hoping," he sighed as he looked up at her.
"For what it's worth," she said as she stood before him. "You were really good undercover."
"But you knew I was off, what was it?" Ressler asked.
She smiled. "You were too smart."
He laughed.
"You need to dumb it down a little more next time you infiltrate a terrorist group of home-grown morons," she smiled.
"Duly noted," he nodded and stood to walk her out.
"And," she said as she walked ahead of him. "If you want some time off and have always wanted to visit Vietnam...I put my contact info on your dresser. If you want to get to know Nora and let me get to know Don...I'm open to it."
Ressler was tempted. He could go with her to Vietnam, forget about all the bullshit back here, drink, fuck, lay on a beach and try something new instead of waiting to see if anything finally comes together for him.
"You're tempted," she smiled over her shoulder as she opened his door.
Standing on the other side was Liz.
"Oh, I'm uh...I didn't...I'll..." Liz stammered.
Nora turned and kissed Don on the cheek and smiled at Liz before she walked down the hallway.
"You need to talk?" Ressler asked Liz, clearly aware of what this just looked like and not feeling like explaining himself to anyone, including her.
When the raid happened, he ran for her, to protect her yet again. He got her safely out, hid with her in the woods while gunfire broke out on the estate. He knew he needed to get her away from Kirk or else she would be used as a human shield or bargaining chip so, as much as he wanted to partake in the raid, he needed to protect Liz more. They spoke little in the woods but enough for her to tell him how lost she was when he died, how she had been living in his condo, going through his things, and learning more about him through them.
She didn't move from her spot in the hallway probably from fear that she would be walking into a post-coital room with messed sheets.
"Nora and I were just talking," Ressler said to ease her mind.
Liz nodded and walked inside.
"What were you tempted by?" Liz asked as soon as he shut the door.
He furrowed his brows for a moment and then thought of Nora's last words as she left.
"Oh that," he chuckled. "I've been invited to go to Vietnam for a while."
"With her?" Liz asked with a raised eyebrow.
He nodded.
"Are you?" She asked.
For a moment he wanted to say he was considering it, but Ressler knew the answer.
"No," he said honestly.
She seemed relived and confused at the same time.
"I was tempted," he offered.
"Because you and she have such great chemistry and are already involved?" Liz asked.
"No, because getting away from all of this, not dealing with the fallout of what I did, is tempting," he said honestly.
She nodded.
"But you were involved? Are involved?" Liz asked.
"Were," he said. "As Shayla and Ethan not Nora and Don."
Liz nodded and walked around the room.
"So, it was just work?" Liz asked as she noted the paper with a name and number on it as well as an address in Vietnam.
He sighed. Honestly, he wasn't sure she had the right to this information. She slept with Tom and was currently carrying his child. She had kissed him once.
"Yes and no," he said, deciding to be honest.
She turned and looked at him.
"You slept with Tom," Ressler said. "What was that?"
"Closure," Liz chuckled as she gestured to her pregnant belly. "That apparently did not close anything."
He chuckled with her and stepped toward her placing his hand on her belly and waiting for a kick.
She looked at him and smiled.
"You want kids," she said quietly.
He nodded.
"I see it in the things you keep," she said softly. "Your small little baseball glove, your trophies, your skateboard..."
"I forgot I still had that," he chuckled as he continued to stand with his hand on her belly. He wasn't sure why he felt so comfortable doing this, but he did.
"So, what was it with Nora besides professional?" Liz continued.
He swallowed hard.
"I'm a man," he said with a slight chuckle. "A single man with a single woman trying to get into his pants from day one and no one in my life preventing me from choosing that option."
Liz nodded. He had been brutally honest with her and she needed to respect that.
"Have you heard from Tom?" Ressler asked.
Liz shook her head in the negative.
"What are you going to say if he comes back?" Ressler asked.
"That it's not his," Liz said honestly. "I really need to cut that tie once and for all."
Ressler swallowed hard.
"So, whose is it?" Ressler asked.
"A single man who I've been trying to get in the pants of for a while..." Liz chuckled.
He laughed with her. "Honestly?"
"Some one-night stand," Liz said honestly.
He nodded.
"And you are still going with adoption?" He asked.
She nodded. "I think I'll be ready for a child one day, but not this day."
"Maybe you need to..." Ressler started.
"You want kids, right?" Liz asked with a raised eyebrow.
He chuckled thinking she was kidding.
"I'm kinda serious," Liz said with a smirk.
"What?" He asked, surprised.
"I can't imagine a better father to take her," she said. "If you want her, she's yours."
Ressler looked at her astounded.
"Your serious?" He asked.
"I think you're ready for a child," Liz said. "I just don't think I am yet. I need to sort my own shit out."
"Liz, how would this...?" Ressler asked.
"We'd get lawyer and lay out the terms of the adoption and then she's all yours," Liz said.
"But wouldn't that be weird, us working together and being friends and me having your child?" Ressler asked.
"Look, I don't want to pressure you," Liz said. "Maybe you aren't ready or whatever. I just wanted to put the offer out there and I think we're good enough friends that we'd figure it out."
He nodded. She kept saying friends. That kiss was obviously isolated.
"And she'd truly be yours Ressler," Liz clarified. "Even if you wanted to take her to Vietnam."
Liz's eyes looked at the paper on the dresser and then back at him.
"But I'd miss you after just getting you back," she admitted.
He reached out and placed his hand on her belly again. He knew as a single man his ability to adopt would be less than ideal under normal circumstances. And, he had not had much luck with women. Maybe he needed to stop waiting and start doing.
"You are sure you want to put her up for adoption?" He asked.
Liz nodded. "I am 100% sure."
He sighed and felt Lucille kick his hand.
"I want her," he said with a sureness he felt in his bones in that moment.
Liz broke into a smile.
"Say hello to your little girl then daddy," Liz said as she placed her hand over his and they both felt a kick.
To be continued...