What If? Part 8

Author's Note: I hope you like seeing Ressler as the struggling dad of a newborn. Let me know what you think.

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Ressler walked the screaming baby around his living room with a phone held up to his ear.

"Shhhh, uh Ma, I know you're on the way but if you have a second to call me, I'd..."

There was a knock at his door.

He walked with Lucy screaming over his shoulder.

"...shhhh sweetheart...I'd appreciate it, thanks."

He hung up and threw his phone on a nearby table then opened the door to his mother looking worried on the other side.

"Oh, thank God," Ressler sighed as he moved for her to come inside.

"Poor peanut," Lisa Ressler said as she put her bags down quickly and reached for the little 2- month old.

Ressler shimmied Lucy into his mother's arms and kissed her in the top of her head and his mother's cheek.

"I thought you weren't here until...?"

"I took the earlier train," she said as she patted Lucy's back aggressively.

"Ma, not so..." Ressler said worried.

It was then that Lucy let out a huge fart and burp simultaneously and stopped crying.

Ressler's eyes went wide and he heard Lucy start to coo.

"Jesus, ma," he said astounded.

"When the gas gets really bad you need to get a little harsher to get it out," she said as she gently ran her hand up and down Lucy's back. "If you'd agreed to me staying after..."

"She was great until she turned 2 months a few days ago and then nothing but this," he said as he leaned down and cupped Lucy's head and kissed her softly on it.

"Some babies have a honeymoon period, " Lisa chuckled. "You did. You were an angel until about 6 months and then... not so angelic"

He laughed with his mother.

"Ma, you just walked in. I can..." he said as he reached for his daughter.

"Hands off," Lisa chuckled as she walked away from him. "I'm taking all the cuddle time I can get with my grandchild."

Ressler laughed. "Whatever you say. I need to shower, and clean up around here. My place is..."

Lisa Ressler watched her son walk around picking up baby blankets and bottles, baby clothes, some t-shirts thrown into a heap in the floor, cleaning up mugs with cold coffee, and trying to straighten his normally perfect apartment. Life had changed for her son pretty quickly.

"How's she sleeping?" Lisa asked.

Ressler chuckled. "As long as I'm holding her and she's moving."

"Oh Donnie, " she said as she looked at her sleep- deprived son. "Do you regret it?"

She hoped he didn't, but saw how his life had been thrown into chaos and had to wonder.

"Ma!" He said quickly.

"Is a fair question considering you went from..."

"No, never," he said clearly. "She's amazing. It's just hard right now, that's all. "

Lisa nodded. That was her boy.

"Any word from Liz?" Lisa asked.

Ressler shook his head and walked toward the kitchen with the empty bottles.

She nodded. Her son had gone through the last few months of Liz's pregnancy with her, been there for the birth of beautiful Lucille Ressler, and even gave Liz the option to not adopt out the baby even as he fell in love with the child. Liz clarified that she was sure she wanted to give the baby to Ressler and hasn't relented in 6 weeks post birth. Then, just before Lucy turned 2 months, Liz announced she was taking some time, going away to a cabin in the wilderness to deal with some demons and she needed everyone to give her some space. That was over a week ago. No word since. He was worried about her, Lisa knew that, but probably too busy with Lucy to do anything about it.

"Have you slept?" Lisa called to her son knowing Liz as a point of discussion was usually off the tables.

"Not much," he called back.

She walked into the kitchen and saw him trying to load his already full dishwasher.

"Leave it Donnie," she said. "Go to bed. I'll feed her and get her off to bed and clean up around here."

"Ma, I didn't ask you to come so you could..." Ressler started.

"You asked me to come because you needed me," she clarified. "So let me be needed."

He smiled at her and leaned his hips against the counter.

"Do you think she regrets it?" Ressler asked.

Lisa looked at him and was honest. "I don't know."

Ressler nodded.

"I don't want to hurt her," Ressler said softly.

"I know, and so does she," Lisa said with a soft smile.

He swallowed hard and walked toward her and Lucy who was starting to fall asleep in his mom's arms.

"Her next feeding is at 4," he said as he cupped his daughter's head and looked down at her drifting off.

"I'm just going to throw a load of her stuff in the wash and then I'll head to bed," he said as he smiled at his mom. "Thanks."

"No need," Lisa said with a smile. "I love having time with her."

"I'll change my sheets when I get up and set up the murphy bed so I'll sleep in her room and you can have my..."

"Stop talking and go to sleep Donnie," she hissed at him.

He snickered and walked into Lucy's room. It was also a disaster. He threw all her baby blankets, onesies, socks, and mittens into her hamper. It was as he was heading out that he stopped to look at the picture of Liz smiling and holding her in the hospital after Lucy was born. Liz was a trooper during the birth, breathing with him, swearing like a trucker, screaming, and eventually crying when it was done and Lucy was declared healthy. She only held Lucy once and he was fortunate that he was there and took a picture because Liz insisted after that that the baby stay with him. So, for the next day he had slept with Lucy in a parent cubby, not intended for the purpose but, as he was a single dad, all they could come up with. He cuddled her, kissed her, sat in awe of her, and fed her. He named her Lucille Ressler and Liz laughed, saying he could probably pick a better name. He had insisted that she was named before he'd met her so it wasn't up to him to change that.

He'd taken a leave from work for 6 months. His condo was paid, he had a sizeable next egg, and he was probably only having a kid once so he wanted to do it right. Liz had gone back to work 3 weeks later. No one talked about the baby around her and although she had spoken with him on the phone and texted, she hadn't come by to see him or Lucy. He kept asking if she was okay, and she kept insisting she was. But he wasn't so sure. Unfortunately, he had had little time to worry about Liz because Lucy kept him busy enough.

Ressler walked out to the laundry closet, dumped everything inside and threw some detergent in as he yawned. He started the cycle and looked around the corner at his mom singling Tom Jones to Lucy as she drifted off to sleep. She would be gone for a couple of hours.

He padded to his room, picking up the deritis as he went and remembered entering his room but not laying down or his head hitting a pillow. But it must have happened because four hours later he woke with a start, worried about Lucy. He found her and his mom sitting snuggled on the sofa watching antiques Roadshow without a care in the world.

"Look, there's daddy," Lisa said as she pointed toward Ressler.

"How's my angel?" Ressler asked as he walked toward her and picked her up.

To be continued...