What If? Part 9

Author's Note: We're moving ahead in time a little. Let me know what you think. Last one for a bit-I need to start writing and stop editing.

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Don Ressler heaved Lucy's daycare bag over his shoulder and started to walk down the hallway with her in his arms.

"You had fun today, didn't you?" He asked his 8-month old as he pushed on the door to leave.

"Don!" a lady said as she pulled a toddler behind her.

"Rania," Ressler smiled at the tall statuesque African-American woman before him. "How's Elijah's flu?"

"Finally better," she smiled at him. "I will be able to go for that coffee you promised me."

Ressler smiled at her as his daughter pulled at his hair.

"You asked me weeks ago," he smiled at her.

"And you accepted weeks ago," Rania smiled.

Don shifted. That was weeks ago.

Liz had just come back from her cabin in the woods. Yes, she hadn't come seen him outside of work or come to see Lucy but she did seem fine.

"Sure," he smiled at her. "This weekend?"

"How about Saturday at 10?" Rania asked. "Elijah's at playtime and...and you can bring Lucy if you..."

"My mom can probably take her," Ressler said as Lucy started to squirm in his arms; ever since she started to sort of crawl she always wanted to practice.

His mom had relocated to DC and her apartment was in the same neighborhood as him. She had been a great help; a god send really. When he finally admitted that he could use some help, that accepting help wasn't saying he couldn't be a dad but rather it made him a better dad, everything changed. His mom watched Lucy so he could go to the gym a couple times a week (now that his home gym had become her bedroom). She picked Lucy up from daycare or dropped her off if his day started early or went long. And she was there to give him advice because as the mom of two grown men she knew a lot more about children then he did. He also joined a few classes with Lucy where they sang, played with other kids, and he sought advice from some other parents at those as well. Everyone, he discovered, was willing to help if he was open to it. As a result, Cooper and Charlene took Lucy on a bi-weekly trip to the park, Aram came by for walks with him and Lucy and he got to know the man far better than he had before, he even had Reddington and Dembe drop by about once every couple weeks with some outlandish gift or game for Lucy, and Samar was his go-to for helping choose things like clothes and soaps that didn't irritate Lucy's skin. He had developed a little family of sorts all centred around everyone loving Lucy and wanting to help him.

"The Firehouse around the corner?" Rania asked.

Ressler smiled. "I'll see you there."

He'd only been on one date before this one in all the months he had Lucy; a mom at a music play group had asked to get together. He thought it was for their girls to roll around on the floor together over coffee. So, when he showed up to her house with Lucy and she was wearing a sexy dress, he realized he had mis-interpreted the situation. He'd fixed it quickly though, asking his mom if he could drop off Lucy and taking her to a nice place for dinner. It was a nice date, not a great date, and he found himself with a very annoyed woman at the end of the night when she wanted him to come inside and he wasn't feeling it. He probably should have taken her up on the offer—he'd been celibate for months now and that wasn't something he was used to.

A week later, Ressler was pleased he'd gone out for coffee with Rania because that had turned into a second date that had landed him in her bed right now. He lay beside her panting and thinking it had been way too long since he'd had sex and this was good sex. Very good sex.

"I have to get Elijah from his dad's in an hour," Rania said as she reached for her water.

Ressler nodded. "I have to clean my place while my mom has Lucy."

Rania chuckled. "All this sexy talk."

"Sorry," Ressler laughed with her.

"No, I don't care about that," she smiled at him. "This was really nice. It's...it's been about a year for me."

Ressler nodded.

"It's been close to that for me too," he sighed. "Too busy and tired."

"I like that It's just this though, you still are okay with that, right?"

Ressler rolled toward her. "I am having a hard enough time parenting my daughter, I am not looking for another child, as fantastic as Elijah is. And I know you..."

"Never want to go back to a baby? Yeah," she chuckled.

"I think this is good too," he said with a smile.

"Can I ask about Lucy's mom?" Rania asked. "If it's out of bounds, I get..."

"We were...I guess, are, friends," Ressler explained.

Rania nodded.

"And she wasn't into being a mom?" Rania asked.

Everyone close to him knew he adopted Lucy, but others didn't and he didn't feel it was an important distinction to make until now.

"I adopted Lucy," he said as he met her eyes. "Her mom got together with her ex one night and ended up pregnant. She didn't choose to abort but also didn't want the baby and she knew I always wanted kids so..."

"So, you adopted Lucy?" Rania asked, surprised.

Ressler nodded.

"Wow," she said. "I just thought she was an MIA mom that left you with Lucy and..."

"No, she's a really great person, but really messed up for a while," he said, thinking she may be still messed up because she hadn't asked about Lucy or come to see her yet since she was back.

"I don't know if that makes you the most amazing person I've ever met or the craziest one?" Rania chuckled.

He laughed with her. "Probably more crazy than amazing?"

"I don't know," she whacked at his shoulder. "I'm leaning toward amazing."

"Thanks," he smiled at her. "I feel like an idiot most days—taking this on with no previous experience, but then she smiles or farts or spills something all over herself and I know it was the right choice."

Rania nodded.

"I'm really happy for you," she said.

"I, uh, better get..."

"Yeah, I need to shower and get Elijah," she said as they both rose from the bed. "He sees his dad Saturdays every week if..."

"I'll see if I can get my mom to take a few hours on Saturdays," he smirked at her.

He left Rania's with a spring in his step, feeling the release of sexual activity and the joy or being with someone that wasn't looking for anything beyond that. And for months that was their weekly ritual; he visiting her on a Saturday and the occasional coffee or park visit with their kids. They were not in love, and, the more he learned about her family and her life, the less Ressler was interested in anything beyond sex. Rania's life was complicated and his life was complicated enough without anyone else and their son in it. No, Ressler was sure he had found himself in a perfect friends with benefits situation because Rania made it clear he was not to get too attached. So, it worked for both of them.

Then, just before Lucy's first birthday he was walking down Rania's street to his car when a familiar figure started to walked toawrd him.

"Liz?" Ressler asked, surprised to see her in this part of DC.

"Hey," she smiled at him.

He could tell something was up from the way that she was looking at him. They had worked together again for months and, although things were awkward a first, they had settled in the last month or so. She joked more, he relaxed around her more, showed her the occasional picture of Lucy or didn't stop talking about his daughter when Liz walked into the room. She had only seen Lucy once since coming back and it was kinda an accident. The daycare had a flood and he had to pick her up immediately. He was on a call with Liz so she came with him for the pick up. She seemed a little awkward with Lucy but otherwise fine as Lucy babbled and bopped along with the children's songs he was playing with her. They dropped her off with his mom and she said "You're a great dad, Ressler. She's amazing." He had tried to bridge a conversation about Lucy again but she'd have none of it.

"What's up?" Ressler asked, conscious of the fact that he had just left his friend's bed.

"Your girlfriend seems nice," Liz said with a small smile.

"She's a friend," Ressler said. "I'm not looking for a girlfriend and she's not looking for a boyfriend."

He knew it was sort of crass saying it that way but he knew with Liz ambiguity always got them in trouble.

"Can we talk about Lucy?" Liz asked, her eyes watering.

Ressler swallowed hard. As much as he said he'd be open to moving around any adoption arrangements, in truth, it had been a year and Lucy was his daughter. He suddenly felt something come over him; a defensiveness for his child.

"What about her?" Ressler asked, his back straightening.

Liz must have saw the change because her eyes went wide and she immediately spoke.

"No, I...she's your daughter Ressler," Liz said as she stepped toward him. "I was just wondering if, if you were open to it and only then, if I could spend some time with her once a week or a month...whatever you think would be..."

"Do you want her back?" Ressler asked again, ambiguity was not their strong suit.

"No," Liz said. "I just want what Aram and Samar and Cooper have...I just want some time with her. That's all. Honestly. That's all."

He felt himself relax a little.

"This isn't a means to...?" he asked, suddenly thinking of all the clauses in the adoption.

"No, I would never, ever, take her from you but...can I come to her party? Can I come over and see her? Whatever you say works and..."

He nodded.

"Of course Liz," he sighed. "Of course."

to be continued