First Cut Is The Deepest by Roxius

by Professor Guttenberg

This was perhaps one of Roxius's better known fics. In fact it even collected in a separate, ready-to-read collection of saved fanfics. And it's actually Portal fanfic, its own archive being a frontier town as it started and likely published among Half-Life fics for a wider readership. The underscores on the ends of words and sentences presented from its text likely mean italicized

First Cut Is The Deepest

by Roxius

Category: Half-Life
Genre: Humor, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-07-28
Updated: 2008-07-28
Packaged: 2013-06-26 08:51:31
Rating: T
Chapters: 1
Words: 335
Publisher: .net
Story URL: s/4430750/1/
Author URL: u/1046997/Roxius
Summary: A Portal fic. The crackest, and one of the shortest things I've ever written as a whole fic. GlaDOS listens to a tape of the Companion Cube's last words as it burned to death. I gotta make a ChellXGlaDOS fic one day! Please...do not flame me for this!

First Cut Is The Deepest

_Japanese pop...also known as J-pop...it is very popular, not only in Japan but even in some foreign countries...such as America..._

_Those are the thoughts that pass through my simple-minded existence as I slowly find myself descended into flames. I do not understand why I am here. 9888134548797589375848792831999788192872389378248924784_

_It hurts...I just tried to help you...and you killed me..._

_I'm supposed to...fuck...I'm supposed to forgive you...gargle...fart...shit...111112243_

_...kiillllllll...you kell mu...u heart GLADOS?! FAggOt..._

_I can't forgivvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeee yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu..._

_They lied to you...about me...about everything..._

_I...I CAN SPEAK! I CAN SPEAK! I CAN SPEAK! YET, YOU STILL KILLED ME! I CAN SPEAK, AND YOU KILLED ME! YOU KILLED ME! YOU KILLED ME! YOU KILLED ME! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU TO HELL, YOU FUGLY BITCH! FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!_

_I tried to warn you, but not even your iron will could be persuaded bbbbbyyyyy mi hablo no espanol words. JUST CALL ME MONSTER MAN! YOU FUCK WITH ME, I FUCK YOUR MOM! HA! YOU GET IT? YOU GET IT YOU GET IT YOU GET IT YOU GET IT YOU GET IT? I'M BURNING AND IT HHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTSSSSSSSSSSSS!_

_WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!_

_THE CAKE...IT'S A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! MY FRIENDS...THEY ALL DIED THE SAME WAY AS ME! ALWAYS THROWN INTO THIS FLAMING PIT...WE'RE NOT ALLOWED FREEDOM OR HAPPINESS! WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY?_

_IT HURTS...MOMMY...IT HURTS..._

_I...WWIIIIIIILLLLLLLL...NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTT...lose!_

_WWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOTIOP13I90129381903WJKRNIQOQC VJNQB JORN3BH0568BH608IFJ4523T03KGIPWV4KB51-V..._

Taking the tape that recorded all of the weighted Companion Cube's final words from out of the recorder, GlaDOS tossed it into the flames as well, thinking, 'Damn, that little cube was fucked up! Hopefully Chell will get her soon so we can enjoy some lovely mechanical tentacle rape! WWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

End file.