(Haus Morgendorffer. Afternoon. Daria, Jane, Brittany and Jodie are hanging out and watching Sick Sad World)
(The TV shows two boys playing with a grenade and throwing it back and forth to each other)
SSW Announcer: What happens when two teenagers get their hands on a grenade?
(The grenade then explodes immediately killing the boys)
SSW Announcer: Total destruction is what you get! Call of Idiots next on Sick Sad World!
Brittany: (scrunches her face in disgust) This show is really gross and icky guys. Can't we watch something else?
Jane: Aww come on Brittany, this is just some good ol' wholesome entertainment. Tell her Daria.
Daria: (smirks) She's right Brittany. Besides we can always watch some frogs getting blown up on The Discovery Channel
Brittany: (suddenly gets sad) Oh no! Those poor little froggies. Why would do that to them?
(Brittany then starts whimpering and is about to cry which gets Daria and Jane to keep smirking)
Jodie: (sighs) Come on guys. You're scaring Brittany.
Daria: Okay okay, Brittany we were just teasing you. No need to bring in the waterworks.
(Brittany calms down and wipes her tears)
Brittany: (meekly) Okay then guys.
Jane: Alright Brittany since we can't watch Sick Sad World, what do you wanna watch?
Brittany: Well there's this one show I heard about called Jackass. It's supposed to be really funny!
Jodie: I'll admit it sounds kinda funny just from the name alone. Turn it on Jane.
(Jane turns the channel to Jackass on MTV. It shows Johnny Knoxville sitting in a car)
Johnny Knoxville: Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville and welcome to Jackass! Today I'm going to set this car on fire and see if I can escape in time before it explodes.
(He then pulls out a lighter and some gasoline and douses it everywhere and lights it causing the car to be start setting ablaze)
Johnny Knoxville: Now I only have a short time to get out of...
(The car then explodes in a fiery ball of fire resulting in his death)
(Daria, Jane and Jodie witness the occurrence and gape with their mouths open in complete shock, while Brittany is noticeably in awe)
Brittany: (impressed) That was so cool!
Daria: (still slightly shocked) Umm, Brittany you are aware that the guy died right?
Brittany: I know, but it just looked really awesome! Like something you'd see in an action movie.
(Suddenly a light bulb appears over Brittany's head indicating that she's got an idea)
Brittany: I've got it! Why don't we try doing some of that stuff? We'll be famous guys!
Jodie: Now Brittany, we all know you're not the sharpest knife in the drawer but you possibly can't be this reckless.
Jane: (shrugs her shoulders) Eh, why not? Besides this'll probably give me some inspiration for some artwork
Jodie: C...come on guys! Daria back me up here!
Daria: Normally I wouldn't care about any of this, but I have to agree with Jodie. I mean you can't be that reckless right?
(Outside. Jane and Brittany are in a shopping cart with a ramp placed in the middle of the street. Daria is holding a camera. Jodie's looking on in embarrassment)
Daria: (disappointed) I stand corrected. Jodie can't you get Brittany to snap out if this?
Jodie: (sighs) Sorry Daria. Once Brittany gets an idea, you can't stop her from going through with it.
Brittany: (says to the camera) Hi I'm Brittany and this is Jane. Today we're going to see if these soda bottles can shoot us into the air.
(She then shakes the soda bottles and tapes the to the back of the cart)
Brittany: Are you ready Jane?
Jane: (smirks and shrugs) Well you only live once. So let her rip Brittany!
Jodie: (completely scared) Guys get out of that cart it's very danger...
(The shopping cart then zooms off at high speeds and flies off the ramp causing Jane and Brittany to fly really high into the air)
Jodie: ...ous
(In the Lawndale skies. Jane and Brittany are still in the cart. Brittany and Jane are both super pumped up)
Brittany: (full of excitement) Whoo hoo! This is so fun! I can see Daria's house from up here! Isn't this fun Jane?
Jane : (also really excited) I won't lie, this is really cool up here! Looks like I've got some inspiration for a painting.
(The cart then briefly stops in the air but is still airborne)
Jane: You did get the protective gear right Brittany?
Brittany: (blushes really hard and giggles nervously) Well funny story actually Jane...
(Back on the ground. Daria's recording the sky with the camera. Jodie is extremely concerned.)
Daria: Well I hope they're wearing protective gear up there.
(Jodie then sees the protective gear that Brittany has left behind on the ground and picks them up)
Jodie: (really scared) Umm Daria, I don't think that's the case.
Daria: What do you mean Jodie? Even they know better than to...
(Suddenly the two then hear Jane and Brittany's loud screaming as they're plummeting towards the ground)
(Daria then drops the still recording camera onto the grass and runs inside to get a blanket.)
(Jane and Brittany are still falling while holding onto each other screaming in fear)
Brittany: (scared) I guess this is the end!! I never even got a chance to make out with Kevie once more!
Jane: (inner monologue) Wow, priorities much?
(Daria and Jodie spread out the blanket acting as a life net)
Daria: Okay Jodie. Get ready to catch them!
(Unfortunately Daria and Jodie's aim is slightly off and Jane and Brittany end up landing on a nearby car causing its glass to shatter and alarms to go off)
Brittany: (in pain) Oh...I feel like...my bones are like all broken...into many places.
Jane: (in pain) You...and...me both sister.
(Daria and Jodie run over to the injured pair with obvious concern)
Jodie: (extremely worried) Oh my God!! Are you guys okay?!
Jane: (in pain) Well seeing as how we literally fell from the sky and landed on a car with no protection, I'm gonna say...no.
(Suddenly a police car drives by that just so happened to have witnessed the events)
(Daria notices the police vehicle)
Daria: (sarcastically) Oh great, the cops. And I always hoped I'd get arrested for disturbing the peace.
(A police officer drives up to the girls and steps out of the car)
Police Officer: Alright girls, what's going on here? Seems we have a case of teenage delinquency.
Jodie: (frantically) Umm, no officer! My friends were just doing this stupid stunt that was really...
Police Officer: (interrupts) Look I don't wanna hear about this from you hooligans! You're all under arrest.
(The police officer then handcuffs the girls and shoves them into the back of the car and drives off)
(Lawndale Detaining Facility. Daria, Jane, Brittany and Jodie are all placed in a cell)
Brittany: (sobbing hysterically) I can't believe we got arrested! Now Kevie won't want to make out with a convict!!
Daria: (irritated) Oh yeah and I guess are parents might be wondering where we are.
Jane: But I guess Pigskin for brains is far more important.
Jodie: Come on guys stop fighting. We've got to find a way out of here.
Jane: (bitterly) Well it's Brittany's fault that we're here in the first place.
Brittany: Well it...it's your fault for turning the TV on Jackass!
Jane: Oh go to hell, you brainless bimbo. And don't let the door hit you on the way!
Brittany: (angrily) Shut it you...you artsy freak!!
(Brittany then pounces on Jane and the two start beating each other up. Jodie is trying to stop the fight. Daria is facepalming in disappointment)
Security Guard: Hey!! You girls keep it down in there right now!! (pulls out a nightstick) Or else things might get uglier...
(The two then stop fighting immediately and back off of each other)
Daria: (rolls her eyes sarcastically) Wow what a showman.
(Haus Morgendorffer. Quinn is just arriving home)
Quinn: Daria? Where are you? I picked us up some movies and some pizza!
(No one answers)
Quinn: Where the heck is she? Hmm, she's probably hanging out with Jane. I might as well set things up for when she gets home.
(The answer machine then lights up indicating a message has been sent)
Quinn: Huh that's weird. I wasn't expecting a date at least for next Saturday.
(Quinn then presses the "Play" button on the machine and a message starts playing)
AM: Hello Mr. and Mrs. Morgendorffer, this is the Lawndale Police Force and we've detained your daughter and her friends. We need someone to come pick them up or else they'll be here for the unforeseeable future. Have a nice day.
Quinn: (scared) Daria and her friends got arrested? Oh no! I can't even imagine the terrible stuff they're doing to them in there!
(Quinn then starts imagining about Daria and her friends being tortured in various ways)
(Quinn's imagination. Daria is being stretched on a rack. Jane is getting tickle tortured on her feet. Jodie's suffering through waterboarding. Brittany is strapped down to a chair and is being given a bad makeover)
Daria: (sarcastically while in pain) This is just great! Now I can finally join a basketball team!
Jodie: (coughs while spitting up water) You...think you've got it... bad? I feel like I'm drowning over here.
Jane: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! PLEASE SOMEONE STOP THIS ALREADY!!! IT TICKLES!!! HEHEHEHHEHE!!! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!! THIS TICKLE TORTURE ISN'T FUNNY!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
(Brittany sees herself in a mirror where she looks extremely ugly with tons of bloody zits and oozing boils on her face)
Brittany: (screams) I look completely ugly! I can't take this anymore!! Someone get us out of here!!!
(Back to reality. Quinn is now really scared and fearful for Daria and her friends' safety)
Quinn: Oh my gosh, that has to be the worst of them all! I've got to call Mom! She'll know what to do!
(Quinn frantically dials the phone for Helen)
Quinn: Mom, I need your help...
(Lawndale Detaining Facility. Jane, Brittany and Jodie are extremely bored. Daria is playing her harmonica, albeit very badly)
Jane: (covers her ears) Amiga, normally I like driving people insane too, but can you please cool it with the harmonica?
Daria: (briefly stops playing her harmonica) Why bother? It's not like we're gonna get out of here or anything.
(Daria resumes playing her harmonica, until the security guard reaches through the cell bars and snatches it away from her. He then breaks the harmonica in half and stomps on it repeatedly)
Daria: (sarcastically) Well that's a shame. And I just got that for my birthday.
(Suddenly Quinn and a very angry Helen walk into the Detaining Facility. They stop at the security guard's desk)
Security Guard: (slightly scared) Umm, may I help you miss?
Helen: Yes you can! I'm Helen Morgendorffer and I see that you've arrested my daughter and her friends.
Security Guard: You see Mrs. Morgendorffer, they've been arrested for causing vandalism to another car.
Helen: Alright you dolt. I know that Daria may be a handful, but there's absolutely no way that she'd resort to mindless destruction.
Quinn: (smirks) Yeah, besides you should leave that to Beavis and Butt-Head.
Security Guard: Well this police report says otherwise.
(He then hands the police report to Helen who quickly reads it. She starts to get a little furious)
Helen: Daria, is this true?
Daria: Well partly anyway. I mean all of this is kind of Brittany's fault.
Brittany: (angry) Hey! I heard that!
Security Guard: So do you want me to release these girls unto you or what?
(Helen is about to respond, but instead she smirks with some deviousness)
Helen: Actually, I've got a pretty suitable punishment for the four of them.
Security Guard: (starts to get interested) Ooh, what do you have in mind?
Quinn: (slightly worried) Mom, you're not gonna have them tortured are you?
(Helen and the security guard both give Quinn weird looks)
Helen: No honey. I've got something even better...
(Lawndale Detaining Facility. Mr. O'Neill is in the cell with the girls and he has a book)
Mr. O'Neill: Hello there girls. I just got a call from your mother Daria, and she told me that you four just couldn't get enough of my poems. So I figure I'd start off with this one called, "The Wind Through My Tears".
(Daria, Jane, Brittany and Jodie all scream in terror as Mr. O'Neill begins reading his extremely sappy poem)
THE END