(Early Authors Note: Greetings! TaleBearer42Day is my name, and telling Tales is my game! If you haven't heard of me before, then I welcome you to my latest fanfic. For those who have heard of me and read my other fanfics, I really wanted to put this out after I completed at least one of the others. But I really couldn't wait. Now, for those who might be wondering why I did Undertale and Elder Scrolls... well, this Tale should tell you.

Now without further ado, enjoy...)

"A-HAH! Now THAT'S what I call a firework show!"

That voice belonged to none other than Sheogorath. The Daedric Prince of Madness, Lord of the Never-There, the Skooma Cat, etc and etc.

(*Time suddenly stops and Sheogorath turns towards us* "HEY! Don't you 'etc and etc' ME! Only I get to do that! And I'd never do that, anyways! But I still reserve the right!")

H-hey! You're not supposed to know we're here, let alone stop the story's time flow! Go back to what you were looking at! You're ruining the Tale, and it hasn't even started yet!

("Hmph! I say, HMPH! The nerve of you to say I'M ruining the story! If it hasn't even started yet, then there's nothing to ruin, is there?! I thought so. But just so you know, this isn't over, little mortal. I do enjoy the sight of an exploding castle, so you and your little readers are getting off lucky. Very lucky." *Time then resumes as if nothing ever happened*)

W-well… the 'sight' the Madgod refers to is an Aldmeri Dominion stronghold in Elsweyr. The whole thing blew up after one of his favored followers, Karlemagne, ran all over the area (inside, outside, and even on the walls and parapets) and casted timed fire runes or just spilling lots and lots and lots of oil. He mostly did both. All the while he would shout obscenities at the Thalmor who chased him, and would then cackle madly. He ended his run in the dungeons where he found a large, empty cell and ran into it. The pursuing Elves filed in but could not find him anywhere, but when they heard the door close behind them (along with feeling the slick oil beneath them) they knew they were screwed.

"Have fun burning alive! HA-AHAHAHA!" Karlemagne yelled as he dropped a lit torch and then cast a teleportation spell. He appeared on the top of a hill where Sheogorath was, and just in time, for the entire castle was already blowing up to bits.

"Say, Uncle Sheo, I sort of felt odd while I was teleporting here. As if time sort of… stopped or something. Did anything happen?"

The Madgod just looked at him sideways and said "Eh? No, nothing of the sort, Karl." (*Sheogorath then turns towards us with an amused glare of sorts*)

"Then what are you looking at?" Karlemagne askes (rather annoyed that Uncle Sheo called him 'Karl' for the 50th time).

"Oh, nothing that needs to concern your little mortal mind. Now, that was a good show, eh? Hahaha! Anyways…" The Comforter of Men then clapped his hands together, and all of a sudden they were back in the Palace of New Sheoth within the Shivering Isles.

Haskill, the ever-loyal, patient (and surprisingly sane) chamberlain, greets them the way he always does, and then listens to Karl retell the day's events. Why exactly Karlemagne is such good buddies with the most unpredictable of Daedric Princes is a rather fun story (to those who actually have humor for this). Karl was no older than 6 when he found two books titled '16 Accords of Madness' and 'The Blessings of Sheogorath'. Karl was an orphan for as long as a 6 year old could remember, so he knew just about nothing about the Daedra. It was because of those two books that Karl even stumbled upon the mentioning of a Daedric Prince at all.

Karlemagne longed for somewhere to belong, somewhere to live happily, so he looked through the books over and over, for they mentioned how this Sheogorath 'blessed' his followers. At the time, poor Karls psyche was already kind of… messed up from the constant wandering and longing. Everywhere he slept, he would make a crude effigy of the 'Gentleman with a Cane' just so he could talk to it and share his grief and ever-growing madness.

Soon, Karl could no longer contain it. He cried himself to sleep one night, and woke up face to face with the Madgod himself, the next.

"Well hello there, Karl! I've been watching you for a while, you know! I don't think I've had a more fervent worshiper than you before. Or maybe I have? Anyways, I'm here, so what do you want? Let me guess, a home? A family? Regular, petty things that ALL orphans want? I can give you something better you know! You didn't read those books for anything else, did you? No? Well, then, allow me, Sheogorath, the Daedric Prince of Madness, to take you under my wing. As a… 'reward' for being such a faithful follower! Hahaha!"

Now, 10 years later, Karl is basically just doing whatever the heck he wants. As long as it's something Uncle Sheo finds funny, anyways.

After Karl finished 'regaling Haskill with my most insane of exploits', Sheogorath walked up to him and said "You know, Karl, I think maybe it's time you get yourself one of my many artifacts, eh? Get yourself something powerful, eh?" Karlemagnes' (at first, annoyed) face lit up in excitement and he was bouncing all over the place in his maddened joy at finally getting an Artifact.

Of course, he doesn't mind beating a defenseless Breton to death with a stick, or setting a (particularly hairy) Khajiit on fire, he would just love to turn something into a sweetroll (or a bag of coins) with the Wabbajack. Or maybe even delete some memories with the Memory Wand. Drain someone's magic with Forky, even!

"Alright, Karl! For your artifact, I have chosen the one that you'll be needing most, one that I know will work best for (and amuse) me-er… I mean you! I present to you…"

Karlemagne looked on with the biggest (and insane) smile one could have, but Haskill just looked on indifferently.

Sheogorath then pulled out an extravagant right glove, and said "GAMBOLPUDDY! Eh? EH?!"

And just like that, the smile turned into a 'is this fool serious?' frown.

But Karl knew not to upset Sheogorath by saying no, so he just said "Oh. W-well… thanks, boss. H-hehehe… e-hehe… I'm sure Gambolpuddy will help me out greatly with… whatever it can help me out with." Karlemgane then put on the glove, and felt a tinge of energy being both given to, and taken from, him. He may be crazy, but he knows how each of the Madgod's artifacts work. All except Gambolpuddy anyway. Honestly, he was disappointed, if anything. Sheogorath sure did know how to kill the mood.

"Well?! What are you waiting for? A letter to open with the glove?! Go on out there and use it! Don't come back until you do, or I'll just cook your fingers and toes in a bowl, and serve it to the Grummites! Hahahaha!"

Karl just nodded and walked off to find something to 'use the glove on'. He wandered Mania and found some Fanatics (or were they called Heretics?), but he forgot to use the glove, instead he just cracked their heads open with some random axe he found lying about. Once he got to Split, he summoned Haskill and asked him why Sheogorath gave him Gambolpuddy. Of all artifacts, why Gambolpuddy?!

The chamberlain just shrugged and said "I do not truly know, Karlemagne. Our Lord's Will is His own. That, we cannot change. And yes, I know it is a strange name, Gambolpuddy. But all Sheogorath's creations have the touch of madness. Sometimes a bit of usefulness as well. But that is something that you will have to discover on your own. Now, I must return, for I have duties to which I must attend."

Karl then continued his long journey across the Isles, all he really did was just kill a bunch of creatures and mad-people. But, once he got down into Dementia, he found a place called Blackroot Lair and thought a little adventuring would help him out.

Instead, he ended up leading a Gnarl rebellion against the Grummites that imprisoned them.

Afterwards, the freed Gnarls decided to actually follow him instead of remaining in the lair. Perhaps it's the 'fortify luck' enchantment of Gambolpuddy in action? If so, then that's awesome! A day or two later he made it all the way back to New Sheoth Palace. And there, on his throne, was the Madgod doing his signature slow clap. "A-HAH! I knew you'd figure it out, Karl! Thanks to Gambolpuddy giving you better luck, you now have a whole group of walking trees following you around! Now that's something, isn't it!?"

Karlemagne (trying to not have a vein on his head show from annoyance) simply nodded.

"Well then, I'm sure you won't mind if I send you on a little quest, then? Since you seem to have old Gambolpuddy all figured out. Just so you know, I don't really know where it is I'm sending you. It's just some little world that I just find rather fun. Maybe I should take a vacation there sometime… well, anyways, HAVE FUN! HA-HAHAHAHA-HAHA!"

And just like that, Sheogorath swirled his fingers and the Palace (along with just about everything in Karl's line of sight) started distorting and swirling all around. Then the ground fell beneath him, and he fell to an uncertain fate.

All before he could cry out "Hey! Wait a minute!"

Falling.

Falling into an endless pit of nothing.

Down, and down, and down Karlemagne fell.

For how long, he did not know, for his mind was not working (even less so than usual) and he had lost consciousness. When he finally came to his senses, he felt a soft bed beneath him. He got up, shaken from the long fall, and saw it was a sunlit bed of golden flowers he fell upon. And yet… they were grown in a specific formation, not just growing wildly. He looked around more, and saw a long corridor, in which was a person. But, they were… yellow? Maybe it was a tan. Anyways, they had a blue sweater with two purple stripes, and blue shorts.

The person just looked at him, before coming closer.

Karlemagne, still a little disoriented from the fall, could just stare and hope this person was a friend. When the person got just a few feet away, they asked-

*The strange person asks who you are*

…Well, that.

Karl looked at the box that showed the words and just said "Huh?" why exactly the person didn't talk themselves unnerved Karl a bit, but he can't afford to be indecisive or nervous. Sheogorath frowns on those things, so he replied "Oh! Um… I'm Karlemagne. Now, who exactly are you?"

*The person tells you their name… is Chara*

"Chara, huh? Well, I've heard odder names. Besides, I guess mine's no exception. Anyways, what say you we get outta here? My Uncle Sheo thought this would 'help' me figure out Gambolpuddy here. Even though he had said that I already did figure it out… *sigh* things just get confusing with him." he then showed off the glove.

*Chara looks at the glove with interest, then nods to Karl and walks down the corridor again*

Karl (after one more look around the room) looks up at the ceiling and sees a bright light, but knows it won't lead back to New Sheoth. He catches up to Chara and tells about his master Sheogorath and what Gambolpuddy is, the younger companion simply nodding. Eventually the two find an intricately built archway in the wall. Once they enter, they see a single patch of green grass under a light, in the center of an otherwise pitch-dark room.

And on that patch of green, is a yellow flower with a face.

"Howdy!"

…

…

…

Of course the flower talks.

"I'm Flowey. Flowey the Flower!"

Chara just stood there motionless and watched the plant talk. Karl was surprised, but then figured that this 'Flowey' was either Sheogorath in disguise, or a creature sent (if not made) by the Madgod to do… something. Karl then said "Alright, alright, 'Flowey'. I'm Karlemagne. Nice to meet you. I suppose."

The flower just stared at them and said "Hmmm…" what followed was a bit of odd silence before he then said "You two are new to the Underground, aren' tcha? Golly, you must be so confused. I know I am, I mean, I've never seen two humans before! Anyways, someone ought to teach you two how things work around here! I guess little old me will have to do. Ready? Here we go!"

Suddenly, both Karl and Chara felt a pull from their chests, and hearts appeared and floated in front of them.

Chara's was a bright red.

Karlemagne's was a dark purple with intricate golden swirls moving about. The young madman was not so sure he would trust Sheogorath to help with something that even he might not know. The Madgod may be unpredictable and a traveler (if mostly to steal other Daedric Artifacts), but… this doesn't feel like his expertise.

Once the hearts appeared, and everything (save for the hearts and some letters and numbers below them) turned black and white, Flowey said "See those hearts? Those are your SOULS, the very culmination of your beings! Your SOULS start off weak, but can grow strong if you gain a lot of LV."

Yeah, no. Karlemagne was now definitely sure this wasn't Sheogorath, or something sent by him. Even if it was, it would be something annoying and unhelpful. Its only purpose being to keep Karl (and potentially Chara) insane.

Flowey then said "What's LV stand for? Why, LOVE, of course! You want some LOVE, don't you? Don't worry, I'll share some with the both of you!"

Then, with a wink and a silly face, Flowey shot out from his petals 5 little pellets. Chara just watched, still wanting to figure all this out. But Karlemagne was starting to lose his patience. Being a madman and follower of Sheogorath (along with someone who has to put up with him) leaves you with not a lot of patience. How exactly Haskill is able to deal with it all, Karl will never understand.

After the pellets appeared and Flowey let the two humans look at them for a moment, he said "Down here, LOVE is shared through… little white… "friendliness pellets". Are you ready?" Flowey then proceeded to move the "friendliness pellets" (which Karl didn't believe for a second) towards him and Chara.

"Move around! Get as many as you can!" The flower cheerfully urged.

But Karlemagne wasn't having any of this. He yelled "Look out, Chara! Dodge them!" but it was too late. Karl had jumped in front to catch the pellets, but one slipped past and hit Chara's SOUL, causing the younger human to fall to their knees in pain. When the other 4 hit Karl, he got hurt as well, but unlike Chara's health bar (which fell to 1/20) Karl's merely fell to 20/100. Maybe it was a good thing he didn't catch that last pellet. Before he could reach out and rip that weed Flowey by the stem, he saw his face had changed into something hideous.

"You idiots. In this world, it's kill or BE killed." Flowey said, his voice evil and the words in his word box shaking uncontrollably.

"Why would ANYONE pass up an opportunity like this!?"

The accursed flower (with a ghastly face that reminded Karl of that smiling Wraith he saw in Dementia once) then surrounded both Chara and himself with a ring of pellets.

"DIE."

Flowey then laughed as the ring slowly started moving inwards.

And he laughed.

And laughed.

And laughed again.

Seriously, can someone shut this crazy flower up!

*Before the ring hits the two humans, it suddenly disappears and their health is back up to full. Flowey, who looks on in confusion, suddenly notices a fireball aimed right at him. It's a square hit and he flys away.*

Oh… okay, thank you!

Before Karl can even laugh, a tall goat creature walks over and says "What a terrible creature, torturing such poor, innocent youths…"

Karlemagne just started feeling nervous after that. If he was anything, it was far from innocent. But no one here needs to know that, of course. Just keep calm and don't spill it, and everything will be fine. The goat creature then looked to him and Chara and said "Ah, do not be afraid, my children. I am Toriel, caretaker of the Ruins. I pass through this place every day to see if anyone has fallen down. You are the first humans to come here in a long time…"

Toriel then looks on as if in deep thought, or perhaps remembrance of something, before shaking it off and saying "Ah, but come! I will guide you through the catacombs. This way."

Karl and Chara then followed Torial towards the other end of the room, where another intricate archway was built. Once through, the light filled the whole area again, and Karlemagne stopped to admire the scene he saw (if not the purple stone. What's up with that, anyway?)

A large building that looked like the front of one of the old fortresses dotted about the Shivering Isles stood at the end of the hall, flanked by two towers with balconies that were on the other end where he was. Chara and Toriel stopped to let him catch up, then Toriel laughed and said "Oh. Do you like it? I know the whole place is rather old, but the stonework itself is nice. We monsters used to actually live here… not this building, (it's just the entryway,) but the Ruins that are within. We soon moved on when… better living conditions were met. But I chose to stay behind and look after the few monsters that remained."

Karlemagne nodded and saw two sets of stairs merging at the top where the entrance to the Ruins was. But he was stopped by Chara who was looking at a strange, golden star that shimmered in front of a giant pile of rose petals. When the two of them touched it, they felt strange and something appeared before them saying…

*(The shadow of the winding, cavernous Ruins looms above, filling you with Determination and Madness. HP fully restored.)

Then, a black box appeared in front of Chara, then another in front of Karl. Karlemagne looked at his box and saw that there was a 'Save' and 'Return' option, along with showing his LV which was already at 100. Karl pressed 'Save' and turned to Chara, who had also saved and was LV 1.

Karlemagne was confused when the golden star said 'Madness'. Was that what his own Soul was? Chara did look 'determined' after the save. And Karl is sure he had smiled a wicked smile (luckily Toriel didn't see it).

The two then continued following Toriel, while Karl regaled them all with stories of his home (though he was sure to just call it 'The Isles'). When Toriel asked who lived there, Karl didn't hesitate to say "Both humans and monsters, actually." The caretaker was glad at the news and asked how the relationship between the two races was, but Karl was kind of fidgety and said "Ehhhhhhhh… it's not exactly all cheese-and-smiles. There are only 7 human settlements, (two up north, two down south, one in between, another further southwest, and the capital city New Sheoth also in between.) All the rest is where the monsters live, and we don't really see each other. We usually just keep to ourselves, except the occasional band of mean-spirited monsters that attacks. But again, we mostly keep to ourselves. Even the monsters fight each other!" Toriel gasped at this and said "How terrible! What could cause monsters to fight each other?"

Karl answered, "I dunno, really. Before I fell down here, I was helping the Gnarls (a group of tree monsters) fight back against the Grummites (walking frog monsters) of Blackroot Lair. It might have been a territorial dispute, I'm not sure. But anyways, I freed the imprisoned Gnarls and helped them fight back, winning them their rightful home."

Toriel was impressed and proud of Karlemagne for helping some monsters (but she was never told that the Grummites died).

Eventually, they came to a room in which 6 buttons were on the right side. Toriel stopped to turn to them and said "Welcome to your new home, innocent ones."

Karl again looked nervous for a second.

"Allow me to educate you in the operation of the Ruins."

Toriel then stepped on all but the 2 middle buttons, then pulled the lever on the far end, opening the door.

"The Ruins are full of puzzles. Ancient fusions between diversions and doorkeys. One must solve them to move from room to room. Please adjust yourself to the sight of them."

Yep. This definitely reminds Karl of some of the old ruins dotted about The Isles. He and Chara then followed Toriel into the next room, which stretched far down the right side.

Toriel then said, "To make progress here, you will need to trigger several switches. Do not worry, I have labeled the ones that you need to flip."

Good, because Karl was glad he didn't have to deal with the 'trial by error' situation he faced in Ebrocca. He still shuddered whenever he thought of it. I mean, no one wants graverobbers but that amount of traps felt a little overkill. What if the Madgod wanted to visit?!

As Toriel motioned to follow her, Karl noticed the stone plaque on the other end of the side of the room he was on. He had seen others along the way, but the stone was so weathered and cracked that he couldn't understand what was said.

When he caught up to the other two across the first little river, he saw Chara had pulled a lever (easily spottable from the three yellow arrows pointing to it) and continued down the long path. Karl then sped past to press the second lever. Luckily it was both marked and closer, because Karl wasn't even looking at the levers, he just grabbed the closest one. Once pulled, the spikes blocking the rest of the hall receded and Toriel said "Splendid! I am proud of you, little ones. Let us move to the next room. As humans living in the Underground, monsters may attack you. You will need to be prepared for this situation."

Ha! Karl had just set a whole Thalmor fortress on fire. He literally blew it up from the inside! He can crush any monster with ease.

"However, worry not! The process is simple. When you encounter a monster, you will enter a fight."

…Yes, Karlemagne knows what happens. He's been in (probably) 420 of them.

"While you are in a fight, strike up a friendly conversation. Stall for time. I will come to resolve the conflict. Practice talking to the dummy."

No! That's not how it goes at all! Nevertheless, Toriel just watches as Karl and Chara walk up to the dummy and 'talk'.

"Hello dummy. Are, uh… are you having a good day? Mine… could be better, I'll say."

*You and Chara talk to the dummy. It doesn't seem like much for conversation. Toriel is happy with you.

YOU WON!

You won 0 XP and 0 gold.*

Hmph. Well, that was disappointing.

Toriel merely nodded her head in satisfaction and said "Ah, very good! You are very good." then walked on, with Chara and Karlemagne close behind. When they got to the next room, Toriel said "There is another puzzle in this room… I wonder if you two can solve it?" they all then went down the hall (towards the right) and into a little zig-zagging corridor.

But before they got out, a Froggit jumped out and tried to pick a fight!

Before Karl could react (by strangling the monster with Gambolpuddy), Chara 'complimented' it. Toriel then stepped in and gave a rather menacing hard stare, which caused the Froggit to shamefully hop away.

*YOU WON!

You won 0 XP and 0 gold*

Yeah, thanks for stating the painfully obvious truth of not getting any gold, pal!

When they got to the other side, Karlemagne saw the only path across the big river was a bridge covered in spikes. Hmmm… even he couldn't tip-toe his way across, and he's afraid of the water to boot. But, Toriel said "This is the puzzle, but… here, take my hands for a moment."

She then guided the two humans safely through the spikes, and to the other side. Once through the little hallway that led into the next room, Toriel once again turned and said "You have both done excellently thus far, my children. However… I have a difficult request to ask of you two."

A rather uncomfortable pause happened, in which Karlemagne said "Yes, Toriel? What is it you need?"

"...I would like you to walk to the end of the room by yourselves. Forgive me for this."

She then quickly speed-walked to the other end, faster than either Karl or Chara could see. They then walked along down the long and winding hall. Eventually, Karlemagne asked "So what do you think so far, Chara? About… all of this, really. Monsters, Souls, the fact that we might not ever get out of here. Y'know, those kinds of things."

*Chara is unsure how to respond and is in deep thought*

"Oh… well, okay then. For me, I'm kinda unsure also. I never thought I'd be doing all of this, anyways! All I'm trying to do is figure out this glove," he gestured to Gambolpuddy "and go home."

They both soon came to the end of the hall (which felt (and was) longer than either of them thought it would be), where a lone pillar stood. Toriel came from behind it and said "Greetings, my children. Do not worry, I did not leave you. I was merely behind this pillar the whole time. Thank you for trusting me. However, there was an important reason for this exercise. …to test your independence. I must attend to some business, and you two must stay alone for a while. Please remain here. It's dangerous to explore, even if there are two of you together. Oh, I know! I will give you both cell phones. If you have a need for anything, just call. Be good, alright?"

She then sped off into the next area, leaving the two humans alone.

After a while, Karlamgne got bored and anxious, so he gestured for Chara to follow him further into the Ruins. After minimal hesitation, Chara followed.

Funnily enough, almost as soon as they entered the next room, Chara's phone rang.

*Ring…

"Hello? This is Toriel. You have not left the room, have you?"

Karlemagne (worried Chara might say yes) swiftly replied with "Yes! We have not left. We're still waiting for you."

"Good. There are a few puzzles ahead that I have yet to explain. It would be dangerous to try to solve them yourselves. Be good, alright?"

*Click…

After Toriel hung up, Karlemagne laughed his maddened laugh and put an arm around Chara and said "Alrighty Chara, look alive! There's a whole set of Ruins to explore! Sure, there are traps, and monsters, and possibly other such things, but I've dealt with worse. So with me at the helm, everything will be fine. This whole venture will be easy."

And so, the duo walked on into whatever it is that these ancient Ruins have in store for them.

Chara was anxious about the rest of the journey and wondering what exactly lies ahead.

Karlemagne was remembering Sheogorath's words about this quest being to use Gambolpuddy, and discover its usefulness. If it has one, anyways.

(Ending Authors Note: WOW! That might be the longest prologue I've ever written! Of course, that might just be because most of it was word-for-word and action-for-action in the game. If you guys wish to know, this will be the True Pacifist run. But rest assured Karlemagne will still be off his hinges and throw a blow or two, just no killing. And with that outta the way, I hope you all enjoyed, so please don't forget to review, follow, favorite and share with others. I will see you all-

*Loud banging on the nearby door*

W-wait...

*Sheogorath himself busts down the door (with Haskill following) and seems to make himself at home!*

"Well then! This is where I'll be hanging around while watching dear old Karl, eh? Haskill! Head back to the Isles and make sure nothing is forgotten, alright?"

"...Yes Sir. I shall leave at once, and return soon."

*Haskill disappears in purple smoke*

Hey! What do you think you're doing?! You shouldn't even be here?! Let alone know this place exists! Or that I exist, for that matter. Y-you need to leave, now! You'll mess up the timeline even worse than anything that might happen down there!

"HAhAHAhAAHAhHAHA! Don't make me laugh, mortal! You should've thought of that before sending Karl down there. And besides, I'm a Daedric Prince. Stuff like this can't be kept from us."

Then why haven't the other Princes found out, hmmmm?

"Oh! I made sure to keep 'em busy till this whole adventure blows over! Can't have anyone else try to poach this nice vacation spot, can we!"

*The Madgod turns towards the you*

"And I haven't forgotten about you either! I bet you're having a real laugh, eh?! Well, now that I'm at the helm, you'll be in for a lot more than this!"

NO!

*Intense struggle with Sheogorath commences*

As much as I would-OOF-love to say a proper goodybye-AHHHHH!-I'm a little busy!

*CRASH*

Hey, watch it! That's fancy Asian pottery!

*Struggle resumes*

G-GOODBYE!)