The moment in "The Dark Swan" when she's lying on the couch holding the ring.
"After my brother passed, all I could do was re-live that final, terrible moment — don't do that to yourself, love." - 3x22
Emma felt light-headed, plagued endlessly by the worst nightmare to ever become a reality.
She lay on her back, staring at the ceiling and drowning in the memories of the night before. Her chest seemed tied in endless knots, making it hard to breathe. As exhausted as she felt, she couldn't even make herself close her eyes.
All she could see was his eyes, when he realized that he was hurting her and remembered that he loved her. His words, when he held out the glowing sword filled with Darkness. His love and comfort, even as he waited for her to end his life.
Emma twirled the silver, red-stone ring between her fingers. She held it close to her heart, his promise haunting her, taunting her, piercing her soul.
How many times do I have to tell you, love? I'm a survivor.
A painful, burning sensation ignited in her chest. She'd never told him how much those words meant to her, how much she needed to hear them. They had given her courage for so long, and let her open herself up in a way she never could before. The promise had been a constant reassurance, even in her darkest hour, that things could work out, that happiness was a possibility.
You don't have to worry about me. If there's one thing I'm good at, it's surviving.
The pain in her chest tightened. They were words that she could not shake, even as she'd ran him through with the sword, held him in her arms, and watched him take his last breath. Now they flooded her mind, echoing in her ears, and still she could not let it go. It was foolish, but her irrational thoughts could not stop reminding her:
He was supposed to live. He promised.
Emma started to swirl into her recent memory again, seeing his face, holding the sword in her hands, and feeling the fiery pain burning her soul. Even in his most fearful state, he exuded faith and trust, encouraging her to be strong. How — how could she possibly let that go?
This couldn't be the end. Her body tingled with unfinished energy. The Savior in her insisted that there had to be more she could do. She had to keep fighting for her future. He was her future. If she couldn't fight for him, what the hell was she supposed to do?
Maybe she was never meant to have a future. Maybe that was the fate of the Savior — born to give everyone their happy endings, but destined to be alone.
Emma had spent a lot of time pondering what it meant to be the Savior. She had come to Storybrooke to break a curse, and to help the people who had been effected by it. But now, Emma was starting to wonder if maybe she was the curse. Wasn't that the price of the curse, anyway? To kill the thing you loved most?
That was exactly the price she kept paying, over and over again. She was like a burning flame — give light and prosperity to everyone, but anyone who gets too close will get hurt.
That was all Emma could do. Just keep her flame burning, keep giving people hope, and keep everyone at a distance.
Even her own family.
Unless there was still a way to save him. People had been brought back from the dead before, hadn't they? If she were still a Dark One, she could do what Hook had done and create a passage to the underworld. Maybe there was a way. There had to be a way...
Emma paused her thoughts, suddenly noticing that the silence of the house was no longer so silent. There was a low whisper in her ear, growing louder and more urgent. Voices, many voices, calling to her, baiting her — Emma sat up slowly on the couch.
The Darkness. It was still out there.
Gold.
A newfound anger and energy drove Emma to her feet. If there was some way to save Hook, Emma would find it. Because she was not going to lose her future without a fight.
A/N: Thank you all for reading! I forgot the disclaimer up at the top so: I do not own any of the characters, worlds, or stories that I am writing about. Everything belongs to Disney and the wonderful people behind Once Upon a Time.
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